


Under Your Spell

by fridamoss



Series: Under Your Spell [1]
Category: Jared Padalecki - Fandom, Oscar Isaac - Fandom
Genre: Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Jared Padalecki - Freeform, Jared Padalecki Smut, Jared/OFC - Freeform, Jensen Ackles - Freeform, Lost Love, Richard Speight Jr - Freeform, Rough Body Play, Rough Sex, Smut, dick speight jr, jared padalecki x ofc, jared smut, oscar isaac - Freeform, oscar isaac smut, oscar isaac x ofc, oscar/ofc - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-08
Updated: 2020-06-07
Packaged: 2021-02-26 03:20:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 31
Words: 86,532
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21716791
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fridamoss/pseuds/fridamoss
Summary: Stef is a musician, recently gone solo. Happy with her life as a forever single person until Jared makes it his mission to get close to her. (For the purpose of this fiction, I have liberated some lyrics from various artists and their videos. This is fiction, with real people mentioned.)
Relationships: Jared Padalecki/Original Female Character(s), Jared Padalecki/Other(s), Richard Speight Jr./Original Female Character(s)
Series: Under Your Spell [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1565248
Comments: 2
Kudos: 6





	1. Into the Fire

Music rolled around the warm bodies, bass thumping. Sweat trickled from his neck, breathing hard, he looked down at the woman beneath him. She was groaning, he could tell, even with the music at this volume. It was the subtle curl of her lips, feeling a vibration in her throat as he put his fingers around her jaw. She was enjoying this, he thought, the sudden stirring in his loins made him gasp. He was enjoying this.   
Opening her eyes she saw his face now contorted, almost cruel, he was pushing his fingers into her dark tresses, pulling a little so her head moved back, exposing her neck to him. He leaned down, allowing his tongue to touch the heated skin, running it softly up towards her jawline, there he placed an open mouthed kiss, then another. He felt her shiver. When the beat of the chorus hit, he moved his hips towards hers. Gripping her throat a little harder, she shuddered, right on cue.   
‘Perfect, let’s cut there.’ The directors voice boomed out as the music stopped.‘Is that ok?’ Jared whispered.  
The room was filled with people bustling around, no one paying attention to them for the moment. ‘Yes,’ she whispered back, looking at him through her eyelashes. Wriggling a little beneath him, he placed a hand on her elbow and eased her up from the awkward position.   
‘Good job, Stef. You looked great.’ Ari, the director beamed. ‘I think we will have a quick break and head straight into the last scene.’Stef nodded, pushing Jared a little away from her, he waited until she was steady on her feet before letting go of her arm. For the last fifteen minutes, they had run the scene several times. Stef had been bent backwards over the end of a large, ornate four poster bed with Jared standing over her, trapping her under him while he simulated fucking her.   
It had been her idea for the video. Although, when she had pitched the idea to the production company, she had no idea that the ‘large and imposing’ actor they would bring in would be Jared Padalecki, but he fit so perfectly. He was her stalker, her lover, the demon made flesh that was tearing her soul from her body and she was loving it.

Petals and flowers were thrown about the bed now. Stef had stripped down to an almost see through bralette and panties. A robe was draped about her for modesty while they filmed the close up shots.Jared’s large palm was resting again on her jaw, her eyes closed, his mouth moving in for a kiss, but their lips never met. ‘And move your hand down, slow, grabbing her by the throat. That’s it, use both hands now. And Stef, open your mouth a little, you want this. Throw your head back.’ The director guided them through the scene, the music booming in the background. The lyrics she had written were like cuts across her skin, flaying her open for everyone in the room to see.They whipped the robe away for the shots they were doing from above. A camera was focused on her face, then pulled out for the full shot of lovers on the bed. Jared between her legs, hands wrapped around her throat as they simulated sex once again. The director called cut. Stef sighed and flopped back onto the flowers. ‘You good?’ Jared smiled, pulling a shirt over his head. He helped her into a sitting position. ‘You got…a flower stuck.. there.’ He pointed at a small white flower from the nest of extensions on the top of her head before pulling it out. ‘Thanks.’ Stef put her hands to her hair, realising how long it would take to remove the extra hair they had pinned in there. The robe that had been whipped away earlier was handed back, Stef quickly covering herself again, suddenly self conscious. Having done several music videos before, she had gotten used to being lost in the moment. With Jared it seemed easy, when he was there, it was as if no one else was in the room. It was just him and her. Jared was edging himself off the bed, offering her a hand, which she gladly accepted. She scooted across the mattress, exposing her long legs as the robe got caught up behind her. ‘Damn it,’ she muttered, covering herself again.Jared’s eyes raked her form before scolding himself inwardly. He was in trouble with this woman, he knew. He already knew. He cleared his throat, ‘Fancy a coffee? I think we are done for the day. Are we?’ he turned to the director, ‘are we done for the day?’‘Sure are, muffin.’ She winked at him.  
‘Coffee sounds amazing. Would you mind if I got dressed first?’ Stef smirked, looking up at him.‘Be my guest,’ he met her eyes and gave her a sideways glance as he walked off set.  
Jared was sitting by the food table, a coffee in each hand, waiting. Stef walked up to him, wearing a lot more clothes than she had been in all day. ‘I like the look,’ he commented, a smile playing across his lips.‘Yes, it’s a new trend I’m setting, meet a guy in your undies, then wow him with your jeans and t-shirt.’ Taking the coffee from him, she held it in both hands, breathing in the aroma. Oh yeah, she thought, that’s hitting my soul.‘Can’t wait to see how it looks.’ ‘What?’ Stef asked, distracted.‘The, uh, the video, we were just filming.’ Jared grinned, pulling his fingers through his hair, moving it back from his eyes.‘Oh, sorry.’ Stef noticed the wedding ring that was now on his finger.   
‘I was too nervous this morning before filming, I haven’t been caffeinated, yet. I’m…enjoying this.’ she added with a whisper. ‘Nervous, why? Because the scenes were a bit frisky or do you always get nervous doing this sort of thing?’Stef shook her head, smiling. ‘Always nervous,’ she unintentionally batted her eyes at him.‘It’s not every day you have a ‘tall and imposing man’ cracking you open and devouring your soul one moment and cracking jokes the next.’Jared huffed a laugh, bashfully looking down into his coffee cup.‘Thanks for helping me feel at ease here, I haven’t done anything quite as intense in front of other people before.’ She caught her words as they tumbled out. Jared bit his lip and tried to stifle laugh.

‘In front of other people, right,’ he whispered, covering his mouth. Hoping not to make the poor woman feel even more uncomfortable. She rolled her eyes. ‘And yes, it was my idea. It’s what I felt would work for the song.’ ‘And who doesn’t want to get frisky before 10am.’ Jared giggled. ‘True that!’ She leaned over and clinked her cup against his.‘What are you doing on Sunday?’ He asked. The question taking her unawares.‘Why?’ She answered a little more cautiously than she intended.‘Well, we have a cast party this weekend, would be cool if you came along. If you’re a fan of the show that is. And you can celebrate finishing your videos. Might be fun.’ Jared raised a brow at her, knowing that she wasn’t doing any wrap parties herself. Stef considered it for a moment. She was not a party person, despite her occupation, she was incredibly private. ‘Sounds cool. I’m in.’ ‘Cool, well, uh, give me your number and I’ll send you the details’.  
Having caffeine pumping in her veins, Stef felt more relaxed, Jared was telling her a few stories from the Supernatural set. The fact that he was a torment to the other cast members was no surprise, he had been keeping the atmosphere light on set here too. She wished he was needed for the next video they were shooting tomorrow night, but he had already filmed his part that morning.Stef had been standing off to the side of the set watching him work. He was looking out at what was presumably Stef walking into the forest, lacy garments trailing behind her. Red riding hood and the pursuing wolf, you could say. Stef couldn’t wait to see the full videos herself, then present them to the world.A little while later, he leaned over and kissed her gently on the cheek. Both awkwardly wanting to hug each other but never fully committing their arms or bodies. ‘I’ll text you,’ he said walking away. ‘Cool.’

***

Thursday night turned into Friday morning slower than Stef ever remembered an all nighter to be. Throwing her bag into the car before she sat on the passenger side, she checked her phone that had sat in her jacket pocket on silent for the last several hours. There were two missed calls and several texts. She stuffed the now empty coffee cup in to the cup holder and read through the messages. Her eyes hurt, the familiar lull of sleep closer now. She thought only of napping. A quick nap in the car before she drove home. That sounded great.  
The phone vibrated in her hand, a text came in from a number she didn’t recognise.   
’How’d the shoot go?’   
Must be Jared, she thought, pausing and thinking on what to reply, she thought better of it, reply later, post-nap, she thought.  
The missed calls were from Oscar. She decided to call him back, it could be important.He answered after two rings. ‘Where you been?’ He rumbled.‘Shooting a video and I’m tired. What’s up?’ Stef manoeuvred the seat so she was laying down, wriggling so her jacket collar covered the lower half of her face. ‘Nothing, just wanted to talk.’He always did this. Oscar called often and usually for no reason other than to hear her voice. Stef rolled her eyes and let out a long drawn out sigh. ‘You’re like the ex I can’t get rid of.’ ‘I am the ex you can’t get rid of,’ his laugher coming through the phone, ‘I’m on set, just having a bit of lunch. Thought I’d catch you before your video shoot. Guess, I got the times wrong.’‘You are in a different hemisphere, Oscar, don’t worry about it.’ Stef closed her eyes, breathing softly, reaching the calm state she needed to drift off. ‘You’re hella sleepy. You home yet?’‘Nope. In my car.’‘Damn. When you’re famous like me, you get people to drive you around.’   
Stef smiled a little, despite herself.   
‘You hear from Dar today?’ He enquired.’Nah, he’s probably still in bed.’He huffed, agreeing. ‘Go on then, go asleep. But lock your doors.’‘I will. Goodbye.’ Stef pulled the phone away from her ear but heard his voice from what seemed like a million miles away ‘Goodbye, love.’


	2. I'm Still Breathing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stef is a musician, recently gone solo. Happy with her life as a forever single person until Jared makes it his mission to get close to her. (For the purpose of this fiction, I have liberated some lyrics from various artists and their videos. This is fiction, with real people mentioned.)

Waking to a pounding on the car window, Stef jolted from her sleep to see Ari standing outside. ‘You ok, honey?’  
Sighing with relief. Heart hammering, she rolled down the window. ‘Just getting some shut eye before driving home.’  
‘Night shoots are a bitch. Loved working with you though, seriously. Call me if you want to do anything else, yeah?’ Ari put her hand to ear and walked away smiling.  
‘Will do,’ Stef shouted at the disappearing figure. She had only been asleep for 25 minutes. That’s a perfect power nap, she thought, starting the engine.   
It had gotten a little chilly. Turning up the heat she checked her phone before turning out of the lot. No new messages. Perfect.

As soon as she closed the front door, she relieved herself of her jacket and boots, pulling her jeans off and tossing them toward the laundry room. They landed…somewhere. She was too tried to care.   
Her cat stood blinking at her from the sofa. ‘Oh, I’m sorry, Sir. Did I wake you?’ Stef stroked his soft head, pulling an ear in to the palm of her hand and squishing it in her fingers. He loved that, his big eyes squinting, hind leg lifting to give the other ear a scratch.  
Since her son had moved down south for school, she lived alone and quite liked it. Just her and Brendan, her ‘large and imposing’ Savannah cat. Stef chuckled at the comparison, leaning down to place a kiss on the furry monster’s head.  
Toying with the idea of making tea or just sleeping on the sofa, she chose the latter, pushing Brendan down to the other end so she could lay down.   
Just before she dozed off, she sent a message to the unknown number.

Wonderful, have run around a forest looking both terrified and aroused for hours.

When she woke up, her stomach was grumbling loudly. Not surprising as she hadn’t eaten in about 24 hours. A quick pasta dish was heated up from the freezer, Brendan was munching happily on some stinky cat food and Stef was sitting curled up on the sofa, channel surfing.  
Her phone dinged.

Is that something else you only do in private? ;)

Definitely Jared. Stef cringed a little, he was eluding to their conversation from the previous day. Oh god, why did he remember the embarrassing things she said? She groaned aloud, throwing her head back onto the sofa.   
‘Kill me, Brendan. Get the shotgun.’  
The cat looked at her and turned away, not giving one single fuck.  
‘Hey that gives me an idea for a song.’ She exclaimed, grabbing her notebook and scribbling down a few lines in a flurry of inspiration.   
‘I may even name this song, ‘Kill me, Brendan”.  
Tongue pushed between her teeth in concentration, she wrote almost two full verses. Quick work. Jared was a good muse.   
Deciding to browse social media for a bit, she looked up Oscar’s twitter. Nothing new. There were a few friends updating with photos from their Friday night out. Stef didn’t mind, she preferred sitting in to clubbing.   
Maybe I should check Jared’s? Knowing it wouldn’t be a good idea, but did it anyway.  
Having scrolled through several pictures of him with his beautiful wife and adorable children, she’d had enough.  
Texting both Oscar and her son a ‘How are you?’ She shot a quick message back to Jared,  
‘Wouldn’t you love to know.’  
Sent.  
Too late to take it back.  
It wasn’t even one minute before her phone lit up. Stef picked her phone up and tentatively unlocked the screen. 

Oscar: ‘Tired. Still on set, putting the hours in so I can get home and see my family.’  
Stef sighed contentedly, it was sweet, Oscar was always sweet.  
Stef: Flying down on Saturday morning, can you pick me up?  
The flash of ‘typing’ came up on screen. She waited, wondering what the hell he was typing that was taking him so long, rolling her eyes when finally he pressed send.  
‘Yes x’  
Another beep.  
Dar: great, studying.  
Stef: yeah right.  
Dar: 😋 🍻  
Stef: behave.

Stef looked up at the framed pictures on the fireplace. The centrepiece photo was her and Darius on the beach. He was 4, she was 20. Damn, he was a cute kid. Oscar had insisted on bringing them to the beach so he could take photographs of them, they had hiked half way there after the car had broken down. That was a fun day.   
Her eyes were drawn back to her phone when it dinged again. Jared.  
‘You busy? You wanna grab a drink?’  
Considering the offer, she decided to send a selfie of her and Brendan laying on the sofa covered in blankets. Having taken a photo, she reconsidered. Make it sexier. Pulling her tank down a little it gave more than enough cleavage. Just the look she was going for.   
‘I’m wiped after the night shoot. I have beers in my fridge. Can’t move from this sofa.’  
Picture and message sent.  
A beer would be good right about now. But so would a shower. She rubbed a hand down her face, deciding.  
Shower first, beer after.   
Just as she was tying her hair into a messy bun, Jared sent another text.   
‘Damn girl. I’m with the guys.’  
Stef: ’Who are ‘the guys’.   
Jared: ’Jensen and Misha, they want to know why I’m blushing.’  
Stef: ’Why ARE you blushing?’  
Typing. Typing.   
Stef put the phone down and stood under the hot water, the water pressure was so damn good. Choosing the sweetest smelling shower gel from her ridiculous and varied selection of bath products, she lathered up and gave a quick shave to the key essential areas. Better to keep on top of it then to panic shave later on.  
Jared: ’I don’t usually get pussy pictures.’  
Stef giggled when she saw the latest message pop up on screen.   
Stef: ’His name is Brendan and he asked me to give you a nonchalant glance.’  
Jared replied with a laughing emoji.   
Stef: ’Also, me mentioning beers in my fridge was an invitation for a chilled out drink at mine.’  
Slipping into a loose t-shirt and sweatpants, she looked herself over in the mirror. Relaxed AND sexy. She was certain this was one of Oscar’s old shirts, she didn’t listen to The Clash. Now that she had invited Jared for a drink at hers, she didn’t really know what to do with herself. From feeling relaxed on the sofa thinking she would binge watch some Rick & Morty to feeling as if nothing would satisfy her.   
Beep.   
She checked her phone. ‘I can be there in a half hour. I need to talk to someone interesting. Sick of looking at these guys.’  
Sure, she thought, who would get sick of looking at Jensen and Misha?   
Texting her address and directions to her ‘out of the way’ house, she fixed the living room up a little.   
Brendan had slinked past her and made himself scarce. Probably upstairs asleep on the bed, where he was absolutely not allowed to be.  
‘You better not be in the bedroom!’ Stef yelled up the stairs. Jumping in fright when a knock came on the door behind her.   
She peered though the peephole. Jared standing with his hands in his pockets, a tentative look on his face.  
Smiling, she pulled open the door.   
Jared looked her up and down and gulped, ‘I’m not in your bedroom.’   
‘Oh,’ Stef covered her face, flushing. ‘The cat likes to sneak in when I’m not looking.’  
One side of Jared’s mouth pulled into a half smile, raising his eyebrows at her.   
‘Come in,’ gesturing to the living room to the right of the hallway. ‘I’m still a little foggy from the lack of proper sleep.’  
Jared stepped into the hallway and stood a little too close and she pushed the door closed behind him.  
‘Why is your cat called Brendan? And why do you live in a weird house in a weird neighbourhood?’  
Stef looked up into his confused face, she could see he was trying to hold back a laugh but he was earnest in his innocent inquisitiveness.   
‘I have so many questions,’ he grimaced.   
‘Well come on, let’s grab a drink and you can ask me all the questions you like.’  
Jared’s long legs almost reached the fireplace as he lay draped across half of her sofa. She was sitting with her legs across the arm of the comfy armchair, angled so that she could see the tv, be close to the fire and near enough to Jared without being too familiar. He was watching her talk about the last album she recorded, enjoying seeing her small feet press against the cushion on the sofa, curling her toes as she remembered how she almost blew out her voice.   
‘There was a lot of passion in that song.’ He agreed, placing the bottle to his lips and taking a quick sip.  
Stef raised her eyebrows, ‘So, you’ve listened to a lot of my music, then?’ Taking her turn at drinking, swishing the beer around her mouth, watching him while he considered his answer.  
‘I have. Even the stuff you did with the electronic band,’ he said, as if he didn’t know the name.   
’And when I heard you were looking for someone for your video, I decided to throw my name out there. Especially after hearing the song, it was one of those moments when the lyrics reached in and really grabbed at you. You know?’   
He placed a hand over his heart, his long fingers slipping into the gap between the buttons. His face was was set in a frown, one of those faces you see when someone is talking about something they love and feel as if no one else really ‘gets it.’   
Stef bit her lip, ‘Thank you’ she whispered.  
He leaned forward and clinked his bottle against hers, ‘Cheers to that. And please, keep making music.’  
Laughing behind her hand, she threw her head back against the chair and closed her eyes.  
‘I write all the time, it’s like a river flowing through me, it never stops. My mind is running at a hundred miles an hour these past few days. I can’t seem to switch off.’   
Jared nodded. ‘You paint as well? he asked, getting up from the sofa.   
‘I paint, but I’m not great at it.’  
‘These are are yours?’ He gestured to the art covered walls.  
‘Yeah,’ she gave him a tight lipped smile, ‘I sell some. Can you believe people buy this stuff?’   
‘I believe it.’   
‘You’re too kind.’ Stef shimmied out of the armchair and stood next to him, she came up to his shoulder at full height.   
Jared stilled when he felt her arm brush lightly against his. 

‘So. Are you up for the party on Sunday?’ He asked, without looking at her.  
‘Yeah, I think so. Can I bring a friend?’  
Jared cocked his eyebrow at her.  
‘A girlfriend,’ feeling the need to clarify. ‘I don’t like showing up at a party alone. It gives me an excuse if the party sucks or if the guys are creepy,’ she grinned up at him. His eyes meeting hers.  
‘Creepy guys eh?’ He grinned while taking another sip of beer.  
‘Well, it can’t be too bad, I have already seen you in your underwear. I’ve choked you during pretend sex too.’  
They both laughed, beer spluttering from her mouth and splashing on to her shirt.  
‘Oh fuck.’ she exclaimed. ‘True, seeing me drunk is probably going to be such a non event.’  
Jared threw back his head and laughed, pulling the beanie from his head and letting his hair tumble free before raking his fingers through it.   
‘Bring your friend, that’s cool with me,’ he smiled down at her. He liked this girl. Whatever about the flirting and the excitement of working with someone he admired, he actually liked her. She was quickly becoming one of his favourite people.  
Jared moved along the room, looking at each painting individually, stopping at the framed pictures along the fireplace. ‘Cute kid.’  
‘Yeah. That’s my son, Darius.’   
Jared whipped his head back to look at her, ‘Seriously?’   
‘Seriously.’   
‘I did not know you had a kid,’ he rested his eyes on her face, his focus soft as he imagined what she was like as a mom.   
‘He’s grown now, in Texas for school.’   
Jared wanted to tell her she couldn’t possibly be telling the truth. ‘How grown is he?’ His brows furrowed.   
‘He will be 21 next weekend, actually.’  
Jared’s jaw dropped, searching her face for any kind of indication that she was messing with him. On seeing her gaze drop to the drink in her hands, he took a step towards her. ‘Sorry.’  
‘For what?’ Stef looked back up at him.  
‘My reaction, I didn't mean any disrespect.’  
‘That’s usually people’s reaction, honestly. I’m not offended. Most people can’t believe I have a 20 year old son. And yes, I was 16 having him. Teenage mom.’  
‘Damn. That’s admirable. I appreciate it’s hard raising kids and I started my family in my late twenties!’  
Jared squeezed her arm a little before pulling away.   
‘Did the dad stick around?’ Unsure if whether he wanted to ask the question or not but he felt he needed to know more about this woman. The more time he spent with her, the more of an enigma she seemed to be.  
Stef cleared her throat, clearly uncomfortable. ‘Yes, he did, we broke up years ago. But, luckily, we are still close.’  
Jared pursed his lips and looked back at the photograph. ‘You keep that hidden well.’  
‘Private life stays private.’ She stated. Jared nodded in agreement.  
‘It’s not on your wikipedia.’  
Stef could see he was hiding another grin.  
They stood in silence. Both looking at the picture of the dark haired little boy tucked into his mothers side, smiling at the camera.  
‘He’s studying to be a vet.’ Stef broke the silence. ‘He always loved animals. This house has had its fair share of odd creatures and creepy crawlies. A few times things would ‘go missing’ and I swear I couldn’t relax until they were found and locked away again.’ Shivering at the thought, she drained the last of her beer and motioned her head toward the kitchen.   
Jared followed close behind, walking his fingers lightly up her spine. ‘Ugh,’ she cried out, ‘don’t do that.’ Grabbing his hand and pushed him away, fingers touching for a little longer than was necessary.   
A disgruntled hiss startled them both out of their teasing.   
‘Wow, that’s a huge pussy.’  
Stef snorted a laugh and bend down to pet Brendan. ‘Jared, Brendan. Brendan, this is my friend Jared. You two will also have to be friends.


	3. If I could I wouldn't want you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stef is a musician, recently gone solo. Happy with her life as a forever single person until Jared makes it his mission to get close to her. (For the purpose of this fiction, I have liberated some lyrics from various artists and their videos. This is fiction, with real people mentioned.)

If I could I wouldn’t want you  
But it’s getting late and I can’t stop  
It’s so easy till there’s no way out  
If I could I wouldn't tell you  
But it honestly doesn’t matter much  
‘Cause I know you probably figured out

Stef grimaced looking at the scratches, ‘I’m so sorry, I have him trained,’ she squinted from the look on his face, ‘sorta.’ Jared huffed a laugh and hissed as the hot water hit him. ‘He will like you…eventually.’ Placing a gauze pad over the angry red lines, she pulled his other hand down on to it, applying pressure. ‘You’ll live’.

‘Thanks,’ he whispered, standing close to her still. Her breath hitched in her chest, she hoped he wouldn’t notice. Switching off the water, she dried her hands, noticing his eyes were still on her, he hadn’t moved. Usually this involuntary intimidation would have annoyed her, but she couldn’t know he was in turmoil. Grab her and kiss her, or walk away and regret it?  
The light flickered, bringing the room into darkness for a second. Jared looked at the ceiling, brow furrowed. 

‘Been meaning to change that light,’ she breathed, thankful for the interruption.   
‘Would you like me to fix that for you?’ Jared grinned, breaking the tension. There was that cheeky smile again, the glimmer of mirth in his eyes.   
‘That would be a help.’   
Stef rummaged in the dresser in the hallway, a drawer of miscellaneous was essential, who knew when you would need the odds and ends stuffed in there, gathering dust.   
‘Ah ha!’, she moved toward the bathroom. Jared was leaning against the doorframe, looking her up and down, not subtly either. She felt heat rising to her cheeks, handing him the lightbulb.   
‘Need a ladder?’ She asked, then realised, she closed her eyes and smiled. Jared was just shaking his head with his back to her, large hands twisting out the old lightbulb, easily, he didn’t have to overreach. She could see he was grinning too.

‘All done.’ 

Jared rinsed the washcloth under the cold water and placed it over the welts on his forearm. In the distance, Brendan was meowing, or more like yeowling for attention.   
‘Shut up, you’re still in trouble, butthead!’ Stef shouted over her shoulder. The cat fell silent.  
Jared chuckled. ‘He’s territorial, huh?’  
‘A little bit.’ Stef crinkled her nose.  
‘Sooooo,’ she smiled. ‘You staying for another beer or,’ she looked at his injury, ‘you gonna go home and lick your wounds?’ Stef ran her teeth along her top lip, she was told it was both funny and seductive.  
Jared considered for a moment. ‘Another beer would be nice, if you keep the beast locked away.’   
‘That’s a fair deal.’

The beer hit the back of his throat and he groaned. Stef raised her eyebrows, that was the sexiest sound she’d heard. Woah, what was happening. Bringing her hand to her forehead, she pinched the bridge of her nose.  
‘Y’okay?’   
His voice was closer, he was standing behind her, a hand on her arm, the fingers so long they wrapped around her easily.   
‘Yes, sorry. Just trying to get some thoughts in order.’   
‘Curse of being an artist, I suppose?’ He smiled and canted his head to the side.  
Stef turned toward him, keeping her eyes closed, ‘I suppose it is a curse.’  
‘You work a lot, ever think of taking a break?’   
Stef gave him a tight lipped smile, ‘everyone works a lot, some people work harder than me.’  
‘Please don’t do that.’  
‘Do what?’  
‘Don’t diminish your hard work, everyone deserves some down time.’ He gestured toward the furthest end of the room. An easel stood surrounded by half finished works, the latest painting sitting quietly. Quietly judging me, as Stef had said earlier.  
‘It’s hard to be happy with anything I do, you know?’

Stef leaned back onto the counter, forearms relishing the coldness of the marble, beer passing between one hand to the other, staring at the painting which had turned out to be everything she hadn’t imagined.   
‘They are beautiful,’ Jared took another gulp of beer, shoving his free hand into his pocket.  
‘Yes, I can imagine it on the wall above your fireplace, family gathering around it during the holidays.’ She chuckled, earing a soft smile from him. His dimples, god they were doing something to her. Stef looked away from his face then, standing up and finishing off the beer.   
‘I guess I should be going.’ Jared placed the empty bottle on the counter. But didn’t move to go.  
Stef nodded, biting her lip, looking anywhere but at him.   
‘Sorry again, about him.’ The scratches all but forgotten about until Brendan started demanding attention once again.  
Jared chuckled, ‘I still can’t believe you called your cat Brendan!’ He looked down at Stef and the chuckle turned to a belly laugh. 

‘What? He looks like a Brendan,’ she insisted. 

‘Ok, I’ll see you tomorrow.’ He draped an arm around her shoulders, pulling her into a half hug.  
‘Tomorrow?’ Stef looked up at him, her eyes only reaching his chin, not daring to look up any higher. Her legs were weak, the scent of him. Beer and heat.   
‘We are jogging tomorrow.’ He confirmed.  
‘Oh, are we?’ Stef thought about the only workout clothes she owned, cursing herself that they were short shorts.   
‘Yes, you need to get some of this pent up energy out.’

‘And the way to do that… is jogging,’ Stef ducked from under his arm, walking to the door. He followed, taking slow steps.  
‘There are a few ways I could suggest, none of which I think you’d be into.’   
He put his hands up defensively on seeing her face, her jaw slack, eyes roving from his crotch to the little bit of neck that was exposed above his shirt buttons, lazily undone.   
Stef could only scoff.   
Jared made his way out of the door, his head almost brushing the top of the frame, pulling the car keys from his back pocket.   
‘Tell me about them tomorrow,’ Stef raised an eyebrow at him as he turned, eyes wide. He almost stumbled as he opened the car door, a meek ‘kay,’ was all he managed.  
Stef waggled her fingers at him with a smile and closed the door. Turning around, leaning against it, fire in her core, she put hands on her hips. The hell are you doing, she asked herself. He’s married. He’s married and he’s your friend.

‘OK, Brendan, hold on.’ She grumbled, freeing the cat from the utilty room. He meowed indiginantly, passing her and making his way to the front door. Sniffing the air gently.

Laying in bed, almost drifting of, a text came through. Usually, she would ignore it, hating the feeling of being pulled from the lull of incoming sleep. But, she reached over to the bedside table and unlocked her phone. It was Jared.

10am ok? I’ll come pick you up.

Stef waited before answering, biting her lip, thumbs hovering over the buttons.

10 is fine. Thanks for the midnight reminder, I’ll be dreaming of jogging now.

Adding a winky face, she threw the phone onto the covers beside her. Awful, she groaned. Why can’t I flirt? Punching the sheets by her thighs she grumbled, ‘because he’s married,’ she said to the darkness.   
Her phone beeped again. On autopilot, she lifted the phone to her face, squinting now from the bright screen.   
I won’t be dreaming of that, but ok! 

He added his own winky face.   
Oh fuck, Stef grumbled, getting the teeny tiny hint about what he would be dreaming about.   
She couldn’t help it, her fingers slid down beneath the sheets, finding herself already wet. Thinking about Jared laying on top of her, thrusting into her, the groan she heard from him earlier replaying in her head as she fucked herself with her fingers. Drifting off to sleep as she came down from her high, a smile on her face. Not even imagining that Jared was doing the same, falling asleep on a high, thoughts of her so close to him, eyes closed, face turned up towards him, lips parting waiting for a kiss.

***

The phone was ringing a little too loud when Stef opened her eyes, peering into the half lit room. The sun was up, at least. Feeling like she had a desert in her mouth, she groped about for her phone, seeing Oscar’s name flash on the screen she tapped the answer button and waited.  
‘Effie?’ His pet name for her. Cute.   
‘Yes,’ she croaked.  
‘Woah, you just wake up?’ There was the smile in his voice. Fucker knew she hated mornings. He was too happy and she was too…uncaffinated.   
‘How can I help you.’ Stef said formally, licking your horribly dried lips, looking about for water. None there. Throwing her legs off the bed, feet hitting the wooden floor, Stef looked around for shoes. No shoes either. Damn she hated when she tidied, where were her things??  
‘Don’t be so gruff.’ Oscar teased. ‘Just wondering what you’re doing today.’   
Stef headed to the bathroom, pushing her panties down to her knees with one hand as she sat on the toilet. She hoped Oscar couldn’t hear her tinkle.  
‘I’m actually doing something today, outside of the house,’ silence on the other end of the phone, ‘with real people,’ she added giggling.   
‘You always have something to do.’ Oscar sounded serious, Stef could picture his face. His stupid handsome face.   
Flushing the toilet, she tucked the phone between her ear and shoulder and washed her hands. Thinking back to the night before, her hands on Jared’s, his body so close to hers. Oh god, she could feel the heat rushing through her again. 

‘Effie?’ Oscar’s voice was louder now. ‘Shit, what?’ Stef shook her head, a million miles away.   
He barked a laugh, ‘good god, woman. You’re a horrible morning person.’  
Stef smiled, ‘why, what did you have going on that you need to call me at this time and wake me up?’  
‘It’s not even early, it’s 9. And your son is having his party this weekend, I wanted to see if you were bringing anyone.’ Stef knew the question was more of a ‘preparing himself to deal with another dude’ rather than actual interest.   
‘Why would I bring anyone. You know this is me, right?’ Stef looked at herself in the mirror, freckles visible against her pale and puffy face. Don’t sleep on your face, she reminded herself.   
‘Ok,’ he sighed.   
‘You bringing anyone?’ Stef asked absentmindedly, attempting to tame her hair.   
‘Actually, I don’t care, I’m gonna go shower. Text you later.’ She hung up the phone without waiting for him to respond and moved straight to her shower playlist. Soothing sounds echoed around the bathroom as she stepped into the hot water. Washing away the stickiness and sweat from the night. Jared would be here soon. Her stomach flipped at the thought. She scolded herself. No naughty thoughts, you are just friends. Good friends. He was cool to be around.   
Focusing on the music, a new demo she had made came up next. Stef grumbled, hating the sound of her voice without the drag of the lo fi music behind it. Shave your damn legs and hurry up.

A couple of texts had come through while she towelled herself off.

Jared: Running a little late, be there in ten.

Oscar: Don’t pee when you’re on the phone to me x

She sent a thumbs up to both messages.

By the time the doorbell rang, Stef had been pacing up and down the living room, psyching herself up. Having checked herself out in the long mirror in her bedroom, she confirmed the short shorts weren’t really that short. It was just against her natural style, jeans or baggy pants. She had good legs. Fuck it, she thought, try be sexy for once.   
When she opened the door and looked at Jared, her composure was shot to shit. Hair hanging in his eyes, he was leaning against the porch stairs, trying his best to look cool. He smiled and tried to hide it. Then smiled anyway.   
‘I was gonna ask if you are ready, but you, uhm,’ he couldn’t find the words, he was staring at her legs. How did he not realise they were so..long. And they led right up to that..tight…round ass. He blinked, trying to pry his eyes away from her ass. She had turned back into the house saying she just needed to grab something.   
Jared stepped into the hallway and stopped, seeing Brendan sitting at the bottom of the stairs, his tail swishing. A knowing look in the cat’s eyes as he stared back at Jared. 

‘What are you, her father?’ He commented. Brendan answered with a low meow, almost a growl.  
‘You two be nice to each other,’ Stef warned, putting her hand on to Jared’s chest, gently nudging him out the door.  
‘I didn’t start this,’ Jared couldn’t help but laugh, looking down at her. His hazel eyes meeting hers. The same colour eyes.   
He swallowed and parted his lips, trying to say something funny. But nothing came. 

Stef issued a loud ‘fuck’ on sitting down on the leather passenger seat.   
‘You okay?’ Jared turned his concerned face toward her, buckling himself in.  
‘Cold leather, tiny shorts…’ Stef laughed, throwing her head back.   
‘Oh shit,’ he burst out laughing. ‘I can get some seat warming action going on, hang on.’ Pressing some buttons on the console between them, she felt the warmth rising underneath her.   
‘Ah, yes, thank you. That’s the shit.’

The conversation flowed nicely as they drove to the park. It being a Sunday morning, it would be full of meandering old people. Better for him, she supposed. It wouldn’t be nice for him to be snapped jogging with a mystery woman. Though she had a large following on social media through her various bands through the years, she wasn’t even a smidge as famous as Jared.  
Considering the video hadn’t come out yet, people would jump all over this.  
Stef had almost began to stop thinking about the unrealistic headlines when a familiar song came on the radio.  
‘Oh no,’ she groaned, lifting her hand to his phone to change the song.   
‘Oh yes,’ her came at her, slapping her hand away, laughing. ‘I love this one.’  
Stef covered her face with embarrassment. It was all good writing, singing and recording music. Singing on stage, touring the songs. No worries. But, sitting in a car with Jared, wearing tiny shorts and thinking about masturbating over him the night before and him singing along to the lyrics she wrote was just too much for her. She smiled over at him when he began pumping his fist in the air, singing along at high volume. ‘Come on, Stef. Sing with me.’  
Letting herself get into the moment, she belted out the chorus.  
I got spirit, I got wings  
I got fire in my lungs  
Laughing through the rest of the song, Jared kept time and the melody perfectly.  
‘How many times have you listened to that song?’ She asked.  
‘At least a million, maybe more. I love it. You are a poet. Everything about you speaks to me.’  
Stef wasn’t sure what to make of what he just said, she looked at him questioningly. Jared just shrugged.  
‘You do.’ He responded, his voice soft.  
The next song was something she wasn’t familiar with. She rested her head back and glanced at him as they pulled up in a spot in the park.  
It was strangely therapeutic, running alongside Jared, keeping up with his long strides was a little bit of a struggle. Every now and then he would turn and look at her, giving her a smile and focusing again on breathing.   
By the end of the hour, her calves were screaming. Stef sat in the car rubbing the aching muscles. Jared threw a pre made drink at her.   
‘What on earth is this?’  
‘It’ll help with the cramps, just some electrolytes in water.’  
‘Why is it green though,’ Stef took a sniff of the drink and winced.  
’It’s got…other stuff in it’ Jared laughed, seeing her face. ‘Come on, it’s not that bad.’  
Stef took a swig and felt herself gag. ‘Ugh, man. This is gross. Thanks though.’   
Jared was still laughing as he took a long gulp of his own swamp juice.   
‘I hope your cooking is better,’ she commented.  
‘Oh it’s better, I swear.’ His fingers touched her hand as he took the empty container she held out for him. He fumbled a little, almost spilling his own drink in his lap.  
‘You’ll have to cook for me sometime.’ The suggestion took him offguard.   
‘Of course,’ he swallowed, stealing a glance to see her expression, was she serious or not?  
Her relaxed body posture gave him the indication she wanted him to actually cook for her.  
‘Hey, do you need the heating on again,’ he offered, breaking the silence that sat between them.  
‘No, I’m good thanks. Ass is hot enough now.’   
His eyes widened at the comment, he tightened his grip on the steering wheel, keeping his focus on the road.  
Stef saw the change in his demeanor, his adam’s apple bobbing in his throat as he swallowed. No response.  
It was accidental, she didn’t mean it LIKE THAT. But damn, his response was strange. Now she cursed herself, thinking he was put off by it.   
‘How about next weekend?’ He almost shouted.  
‘What?’  
‘I’ll cook for you, next weekend.’ Jared licked his lips, glancing at her once again.   
‘No, I can’t.’  
‘Can’t? Or…won’t? He asked, a sinking feeling settling on him. ‘I just…as a friend..you know?’ Jared tried to see her expression again. Shit, he felt like an idiot.  
‘No, no,’ she reassured him. ‘Thank you for the offer, but it’s my sons birthday next week, he’s throwing a party. I’m flying down for it.’  
‘Oh,’ he nodded, blowing out a breath he didn’t realise he as holding.   
‘But I will hit you up when I’m back. How about that?’ She smiled over at him.   
He felt something stir in him. He was in trouble with this girl, he knew it.   
‘Sounds awesome.’

‘Thanks for that, I feel, like a new woman,’ Stef leaned out of the car, holding the door open. Jared nodded, he wasn’t sure what to say. He was leaving to get back to set. He would see her tomorrow at the wrap party, but he felt as if that were a million years away. He didn’t like the thought of not seeing her.   
‘Until tomorrow then.’ Stef closed the car door and made her way up the path to her house, turning to wave before heading inside. 

Jared groaned inwardly. This girl will be the end of me.


	4. Last night was something

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stef is a musician, recently gone solo. Happy with her life as a forever single person until Jared makes it his mission to get close to her. (For the purpose of this fiction, I have liberated some lyrics from various artists and their videos. This is fiction, with real people mentioned.)

Just wanna dance with you all night When everyone has their disguise I’ll show you my heart is real I’ll show you how this could feel

‘Hey.’   
‘Hey, yourself.’ Jared give her a smile, a real smile. His eyes were lit up by it. He was actually happy to see her.  
‘This is my friend, Claire.’  
Tearing his eyes away from Stef, he hurriedly shook her hand and gestured towards everyone. ‘Welcome to the party.’  
Jared pulled his hair from his eyes and looked her up and down. The dress she chose was mid thigh, black and shimmering as she moved. He couldn’t help but look at her toned legs, that ass. His eyes lingered on it for a minute before he shook himself.  
Careful, man. You’re married. A little guilt creeping in.  
‘What are you ladies having?’ He reached the bar and signalled to the bartender.  
Claire threw her curled auburn hair back from her face, ‘Oh, are you buying?’  
Stef curled her lips into a half smile, hiding it behind her hand. Jared caught it and smiled himself. Claire was such a flirt.  
‘I certainly will buy you both a drink since I invited you.’ He spoke to Claire but gazed directly at Stef.  
‘I will have a glass of white, so will she.’  
‘Oh will she?’ Jared chuckled and nodded to the bartender.  
‘Come on, I’ll introduce you to some people.’  
Drink in hand, Stef was introduced to so many people there was no hope of ever remembering their names. Jared excitedly shouting at everyone ‘This is Stef, I was in her music video, it’s how we met.’ He was already buzzed from the few beers he’d had in anticipation of her arrival.  
‘And who are these ladies?!’ Came a smooth voice, the stranger cocking an eyebrow and grabbing Stef’s hand, placing a gentle kiss on her fingers.  
‘Uh, this is Stef and her friend Claire. Girls, this is Richard Speight.’ He leaned in towards Stef’s ear so she could hear him over the music, ‘He was in the show but he’s directed it mostly.’ Jared’s hand had found its way around her waist and was resting on her hip.  
‘Yeah I think I recognise you.’ Stef took a swig from the ice cold chardonnay.  
Richard placed his other hand on top of hers. ‘Why thank you madam, I will take that as a good thing as I am, pretty wonderful.’  
Claire, feeling thoroughly left out, nudged Stef, pointing at someone in the corner, ‘Hey, look is that Jensen. Fuck he’s hot.’  
Richard threw a look over his shoulder towards Jensen, ‘Oh? Is he? He’s ok I guess.’ Giving them a mischievous smile he released Stef’s hand. ‘Shall I introduce you?’  
‘Oh yes please,’ Claire grabbed Richard by the crook of his arm and they made a beeline towards Jared’s co-star.  
‘You enjoying yourself?’ Stef stepped aside to where Claire had been standing, forcing Jared to let his arm drop from her waist.  
‘Yeah, it’s great getting everyone together after we finish filming.’  
‘I guess that means you’ll be heading back home?’ Stef sipped her drink again.  
Jared took a deep breath, deflating a little. ‘Yeah, I will be. For a couple of months anyway.’  
‘Excited to see your family?’  
‘Of course,’ he swallowed some beer, picking at the label.  
Stef sensed his unease, placing a hand on his arm she moved closer to his ear, ‘Want to get some air?’  
Leaning into her, his hair brushing against her cheek, he placed a hand lightly on her exposed shoulder. Damn, that dress looked good on her.  
He nodded and led the way to the door, careful not to grab her wrist too tight. People could be watching.  
Placing her jacket around her shoulders, Stef crossed her arms across her chest. ‘It’s loud in there.’  
‘Thought you’d be used to that.’  
Stef smiled softly, ‘I am. Actually, hopefully going on tour late summer, playing a few clubs, making everyone uncomfortable with my singing. Just a few shows, can’t work too hard.’  
Jared squinted while he laughed. ‘Awesome. You gonna play Texas?’  
‘Yep, though I can’t remember the name of the club, you should come out.’ she finished off the glass of wine in one gulp.  
‘Well of course, I gotta support my friends. Would you like another?’ Jared took the glass from her, shaking his empty beer bottle.  
‘Yes, but I’ll tell you something, Jared Padalecki, you are not to get me drunk tonight.’  
‘Oh-ho. So you’re my responsibility for the night?’  
‘Well, you DID invite me.’  
‘Am I responsible for Claire too?’ He raised an eyebrow.  
‘Oh hell no, don’t do that to yourself. She’s with Richard, she’s his problem now.’  
Jared chuckled, ‘I thought she was your friend?’  
‘She is my friend, my very good friend. Who eats men alive! I love her dearly. She is the complete opposite of me.’  
‘Am I in trouble tonight?’  
‘Oh no, you’re safe. I told her you were off limits.’ Stef saw Jared blush slightly.  
‘So she’s the man eater so that makes you..’  
‘That makes me kinda like a slow poison. I take my time, you know? Inject them with my venom and slowly digest them over the years.’  
Jared doubled over laughing, causing Stef to snort a laugh. Hearing it made him laugh harder.  
‘Oh boy, you seem to be anything but poisonous.’  
‘Come on, let’s get inside, you look cold.’ Placing a hand on the small of her back he guided her back into the club, where Claire was dancing with Richard, spinning and landing dramatically in his arms.  
‘I thought I might need to save him, but he seems to be enjoying this.’  
‘Richard is a playboy, any attention from women and he’s made up. They could be made for each other, you know.’  
Jared grabbed another couple of drinks and gestured towards a table by the wall. ‘Come meet Jensen, he’s a good friend, you’ll like him.’  
‘So you’re Stefanie, huh? Lovely to meet you.’ Jensen took her hand, leaning in and placing a soft kiss on her cheek.  
He smelled so good, she thought.  
‘You’ve heard of me?’ Stef stuttered. Something about him made her feel a little shy, as if she had been stripped of a layer of clothing while his gaze was on her.  
‘This bozo hasn’t shut up about you since he did the video. From what he says, it’s the best work he’s ever done. Hands down. He’s winning awards for it.’  
The boys exchanged looks and began poking at each other playfully, both making jabs louder than the other.  
Stef shot Jared her best sultry look, which surprisingly seemed to have the desired effect. Jared’s eyes fell on her face and he stopped messing with Jensen. They held the gaze for a moment before Jensen coughed pointedly.  
‘Great to see you’ve become such good friends. Jared introduced me to your solo stuff recently. You’re rockin’ it girl.’  
‘Thanks, man, I appreciate that.’ They clinked glasses and drank to making kick ass music.  
Jensen was easy to talk to, within a few minutes they had established what other musicians had influenced her. He knew all of them, that was the shocker. He played guitar and sang too, expressing his desire to put out his own album.  
‘Hey listen, I gotta use the ladies. Excuse me, gentlemen.’ Placing her empty glass on the table she gave them both a smile and went to find Claire.  
She found her in a corner chatting excitedly to an equally excited Richard.  
‘Hey girl, bathroom.’  
Claire turned and gave Richard a wink before taking Stef’s hand and leading her away.

‘So you and Richard, huh?’ Stef teased, touching up her lipstick. Just a little more blush and she was good to go.  
Claire readjusted her bra, pushing her boobs a little more out of her dress.  
‘So you and Jared, huh? She countered. ‘Oh come on, bitch, don’t give me that look. Jared can’t take his eyes off you. He hasn’t left your side all evening.’  
‘He’s a friend, that’s all.’  
‘Yeah tell him that. He’s lusting after you big time.’  
Stef frowned at her reflection, thinking for a moment about what the hell she was doing. On her side it felt completely innocent, but she knew what she was doing, the flirting was a bit much. It was coming from his side too.  
‘I am leading him on, aren’t I?’ Her hazel eyes turned on her friend, concern changed her face into a grimace.  
‘It’s not necessarily leading him on if you both want each other.’ Claire began pulling at Stef’s dress a little. Pulling the material up at the waist, exposing more of her friends legs.  
‘You do want each other, right?’  
Stef swallowed slowly, managing a nod. ‘I think so, I mean, I can’t make that choice for him.’ Her face pleading, knowing her friend would have no qualms about sleeping with any person she wanted. Claire was always a sexual free spirit. Never tied down. Always enjoying life to the maximum.  
‘Bitch, the way he’s been looking at you this whole time, he would near eat you up.’  
Stef brought a hand to her face, knowing she was blushing.  
Claire took her hand and pulled it away, ‘Ok, work with me here. We will go out there, be ourselves and have a nice time, dance and have another drink. If Jared wants you, he will come to you, I swear. And you can make your decision then.’  
‘What about you and Richard?’  
‘That man is incredibly funny. And such a flirt!’ She was pushing at her breasts again, they were threatening to spill out altogether.  
On hearing a phone beeping, both started pulling at their bags. ‘Not me,’ Claire said, disappointed.  
‘Oh it’s me,’ Stef turned her phone the right way up and looked at the notification.  
‘It’s Oscar.’  
Claire sighed heavily.  
‘What?’  
‘It’s always Oscar. One of these days you will have to get over each other, you know!’  
Stef opened her hands, declaring silently that Claire should explain herself.  
‘He fucked you over, you have never forgiven him. He has spent the last 15 years trying to be your best friend.’  
Stef bit her lip, ‘he kind of is my best friend.’  
‘And he wants to be more, you know. You were made for each other, seriously. But for now, please, go out there and get that hunk. I mean the height of him alone screams ‘I got a huge dick!!’  
‘Claire!’ Stef glared at her friend, bursting into laughter at the thought. ‘Girl, you’re going to get me into serious trouble.’  
Claire turned Stef toward the mirror and grabbed at her friends chin, ‘Nah, bitch, this face is gonna get you into trouble. That and the fine ass I have caught Jared taking a glance or two at.’  
With a loud smack landing on Stef’s ass, Claire threw her head back and laughed.  
Several selfies later, they left the bathroom and made their way back to the bar.  
Richard sidled up next to Claire and declared he was buying the drinks and would hear no argument.  
He then whipped her away to the dance floor leaving Stef leaning against the bar, taking in the room.  
Her eyes landed on Jared as he made his way over through the throng of people dancing.  
‘Hey, there you are. Thought you might have ditched me.’ Rubbing at his neck awkwardly.  
‘Not at all, just had to make ourselves pretty.’  
Jared cleared his throat.  
‘You’re pretty all the time,’ his voice barely audible over the music, he stood with a lopsided grin, eyes glazed over.  
Stef raised her eyebrows and nodded, mouthing a thanks.  
Jared stuffed his hand into his pocket and pulled out his phone. ‘Uhm, you’ll have to excuse me. I’m sorry.’ His demeanour had changed, gone was the smile, his mouth now twisted into a grimace. He turned and walked out of the club, putting the phone to his ear, struggling it seemed to hear the person on the other end.  
Stef looked out at him, noting how wide his shoulders were, biceps flexing as he paced, waving one arm in the air. He was arguing with someone, it seemed.  
Right on time to save her from feeling completely alone Claire appeared and grabbed her hand, Richard grabbing the other, pulling her to the dance floor. She laughed at their enthusiasm.  
Matching Claire’s sexy moves, Richard dancing in a circle around them, clearing the floor for them. Motioning for everyone to watch. This made them laugh even more. By the time they had tired out, they were covered in a layer of sweat.  
Stef escaped the dance floor and stopped at a table where Jared and Jensen had their heads together, talking animatedly.  
On seeing her approach, Jared nodded, giving Jensen a heads up. He turned and smiled. ‘Hey, Stef. Having fun?’ Jensen showed her those perfect pearly whites, throwing an arm around her shoulder.  
‘I am,’ she was breathing a little heavier than she liked, dancing wasn’t something she did often. Looking to Jared, she could see he was a little red in the face. ‘You?’  
‘I’m having a great time. But, I shall leave you two as I am going to have to get gone. Early flight.’ He tapped his watch and looked at Jared pointedly.  
‘Nice meeting you,’ Stef offered as Jenson blew a kiss and winked at her. 

‘I should probably shoot soon too,’ Stef brushed the hair from her sticky forehead. ‘Thank you for inviting me, I didn’t realise I needed to let loose.’  
Jared reached out and took her wrist, ‘I’ll walk you out.’  
‘Ok cool, let me just grab Claire.’  
Claire was grinding against Richard when Stef found her on the centre of the dance floor. With a look and a smile, Stef knew she wouldn’t be going home with anyone but Richard.  
‘You’re cool?’ Stef insisted.  
Claire raked her hand through Richard’s hair as she threw a look over her shoulder at her friend ‘I’ll text you later.’  
Stef knew that text would entail either a thumbs up or a thumbs down emoji, she couldn’t help but laugh. But gave her friend a quick kiss on the cheek and waved at Richard.  
Jared was outside, jacket thrown over his arm. ‘C’mon, I got us an Uber.’  
‘Us?’ Stef queried.  
‘I’m just gonna make sure you get home ok. Claire not coming?’  
‘She will be, later.’ Stef said, winking up at Jared, who gave a laugh and clapped his hands shouting ‘get it girl,’ in the direction of the club.

The journey back to Stef’s ‘creepy neighbourhood’ didn’t take long, the streets were empty, streetlights flashing past, throwing shadows across Jared’s face as he sat quietly.  
‘I’m glad you came to the party.’ He eventually spoke, almost too softly for Stef to hear, sleepiness etched in the creases of his smile.  
‘I’m glad you asked me.’  
Pulling up outside her house, she cursed herself at not having not left any lights on. The yard was in complete darkness.  
‘I’ll wait and make sure you get in ok, if you like?’ Jared offered.  
‘Oh shit, did I say all that out loud?’ Stef laughed.  
‘Yeah you did. Are you really freaked about the dark?’  
‘I am a bit.’  
‘Ok.’ Jared unhooked his belt and pushed the door open.  
He made his way to the opposite side of the car and opened Stef’s door. ‘I’ll look after you, come on.’  
Stef insisted it wasn’t necessary, but Jared wouldn’t hear of it. He paid the Uber driver and shrugged his shoulders as the car drove off, leaving them in the darkness of the silent neighbourhood.  
‘Well, I’m stuck here now. The car’s left.’ He joked, sobering up in the night air.  
Stef pulled her phone from her bag and switched on the torch. Jared followed suit and they made their way up the pathway to her front door.  
‘Did you lock away the beast? I need to use your bathroom.’  
Stef chuckled, ‘He’ll be asleep, don’t worry. Come on.’  
Switching on a few select lights, she threw off her shoes and sighed at the relief.  
Jared watched her face, seeing her eyelashes flutter with the pleasure of being free of her heels.  
‘Fancy a night cap?’  
Jared shook his head. ‘An espresso, maybe. If I’m to stay awake til another Uber comes.’  
‘One espresso coming up.’ Stef made her way into the kitchen, mumbling a curse as her feet hit the cold wooden surface.  
They sat on the sofa together having knocked back two espressos each. Jared’s arm draped across the back of the seat, his fingers gingerly reaching out to pull at the little strands of hair at the base of her neck.  
Having taken the opportunity to tie her hair up into a bun and changing into her sweats, she looked half done up. Her make up yet to be removed.  
‘You should sleep in the spare room, it’s really late.’  
Jared hummed. His eyes closed.  
‘Come on, big guy.’ Stef stood and pulled at his hand, realising there was no way in hell she would get him up off the sofa herself.  
He chuckled at her efforts. ‘Ok, ok, bossy.’  
Throwing an arm across her shoulders, he feigned sleepiness. He really wasn’t that tired, he just wanted to feel her trying to hold him up. Determination on her face and her hand pressed against his chest, keeping him upright.  
‘You got any mouthwash, I have a horrid mixture of beer and coffee in my mouth,’ he playfully smacked his tongue around his mouth.  
‘Yeah, yeah sure, I got some spare stuff in the main bathroom upstairs.

The spare room was right next to hers. A single bed was pushed up against the wall under the window. Posters of old school rock bands plastered the walls. An empty aquarium stood on the bedside table. Darius’s room, Jared figured.  
Removing his belt and his boots, he sat on the edge of the bed.  
Stef knocked softly and pushed open the door a little. ‘This ok?’  
Jared stood from the bed, taking the few short steps towards her and pulled open the door. Stef had taken off her sweats, instead wearing sleep shorts and a tank top, her eyes widening in surprise from the sudden movement of the tall man as he loomed over her, his eyes drinking her in. He said nothing, but put a hand on her chin, his touch light as a feather, slowly moving down along her neck, stopping at the strap of her top. His eyes never leaving hers, she saw the ghost of a smile as her breath hitched in her throat.  
‘Goodnight, then.’ she whispered, taking a step back.  
Jared leaned against the door frame, watching her walk to her bedroom.  
‘Thank you, Stef.’ He put a hand over his heart.  
Stef, wondering what the gesture was for, gave him a quick smile and shut the door, keeping her forehead against it as it closed fully. Breathing out a sigh.  
‘What are you doing, Stef?’ She breathed, stretching out on her bed, staring at the ceiling. Her mind going back to the look he just gave her, hand on his heart. The way he had his hand resting on her waist at the party. Every look he had given her in the last couple of days replaying in her mind as she drifted off to sleep.

This moment shaking in my hands  
I’ll share this secret for a chance  
Just to be here with you  
Just to get lost with you


	5. A Heat You've Never Known

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A Jared Padalecki/OFC fiction.
> 
> Stef is a musician, recently gone solo. Happy with her life as a forever single person until Jared makes it his mission to get close to her. (For the purpose of this fiction, I have liberated some lyrics from various artists and their videos. This is fiction, with real people mentioned.)

**Claire:** 👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻  
**Stef:** Glad you enjoyed yourself.  
**Claire:** I’m having coffee, wanna join? Must gossip.  
**Stef:** Nah, gotta get rid of the moose.  
**Claire:** WTF?  
**Stef:** Jared stayed in the spare room. I think he’s still sleeping.  
**Claire:** We definitely need to talk. 😉  
**Stef:** I’ll call you later

Stef was sitting on the sofa, feet tucked under a blanket sipping coffee. She had spent a few minutes in front of the mirror fixing her hair, moving it this way and that in an attempt to make it look ‘effortless.’  
Shrugging, she gave up and made a pot of coffee, hoping the smell would rouse Jared so she wouldn’t have to go knocking at the door.  
Just as she sent the last text to Claire, she heard movement upstairs. The bathroom door closed. Silence again.  
Brendan raised his head from the armchair he was snoozing on and deciding it was nothing interesting, curled up again.  
‘Good morning,’ Jared rumbled coming down the stairs, fully dressed, looking like an angel fallen from heaven, scratching his tummy as he gave her a lop sided smile.  
‘Coffee in the kitchen.’ She sang, unusually chipper.  
‘Are you always this good a morning person?’ He sat next to her on the sofa, coffee in hand.  
‘Well, no. Not usually. But it has been a long time since I had company in the morning so I suppose that has made a difference. Did you sleep ok?’  
‘Yeah, I did, I was out like a light.’ Throwing an arm along the back of the sofa, his hand brushed against her hair, giving a strand a playful tug.  
His phone rang. With a grumble he removed himself from the sofa and walked towards the kitchen. Stef could hear him speaking low to someone, his tone changing when she heard the sound of a child yelling. ‘Hey, buddy, can you do what your mom says? Please? Yeah I’ll be home soon, before you know it.’  
Stef felt uneasy, like worms were squirming inside of her stomach. She hated that he made her feel like this, a little jealous of his family.  
You know him nearly a week, stop being such a crazy bitch! Stef told herself, lifting her phone to text Claire again.  
I can meet you at yours later, I need wine and girl chats.  
Jared walked silently back into the room, ‘Sorry about that. My kids are wild today,’ He ran a hand through is hair, grimacing.  
‘I feel your pain. Wait til they are teenagers, then the fun starts.’  
Jared put his head into his hands, ‘No, Stef. What have I DONE?’

Having regaled him with a few stories of Darius in his teens, Jared finally decided that he needed to get going. His flight home was leaving that night and he hadn’t packed yet.  
Leaning against the door, waiting for the Uber to find the house he searched for something to say that would be a meaningful goodbye.  
Stef sat on the bottom stair, wrapped up in an oversized hoodie looking cute as hell. He wanted to reach over and pull her into a bear hug. All he could do was sigh.  
‘This week has been amazing, from not knowing you at all to this.’ He shook his head, strands of hair falling into his eyes. ‘It’s just…’  
‘It feels like we have known each other years rather than days?’ She finished for him.  
‘Yeah, something like that. You better keep in touch though.’  
The car pulled up outside and honked impatiently. ‘Oh shit,’ Jared laughed, reaching over with one arm to pull her into a gentle hug. He took the opportunity to smell her hair. Coconuts. Mmmm.  
‘Jared?’  
‘Yeah?’  
‘Are you smelling me?’  
‘Yeah, I am. Just let us have this moment.’  
She felt the rumble of laughter in his chest but didn’t let him go as she usually would have, hugs shouldn’t last this long, this was an embrace and the heat radiating from him filled her to the brim, she hugged him tighter.  
Another impatient honk brought them to their senses.  
‘You just let me know when you get home safe.’ Stef waved as he made his way down the path. He turned and nodded, lifting his hand in goodbye.  
When the car disappeared, she felt heavy hearted.  
Claire had text back, agreeing to their girly date. Stef decided to have a long, very hot bath and not think about men or music or the ache in her legs from dancing.

  
***

  
‘Tell me everything.’ Claire coaxed, filling the wine glasses with an absurdly large measure.  
‘No, you first. Since my night wasn’t half as interesting as yours, I’m guessing.’  
Claire talked non stop for a twenty minutes about Richard and how good a kisser he was. They didn’t go all the way, but he said he would call and arrange a date. Which was unusual for Claire, who didn’t date.  
This whole situation was unusual for both of them. Claire would get excited about a man, sleep with him and move on.  
Stef didn’t date at all. She was happy being single. Sure, men came in and out of her life but she never gave much effort in it. It wasn’t a priority. So why was she glancing at her phone every few minutes, like a love sick teenager, hoping the boy will text her??  
‘You gotta tell me about your night, he went home with you?’ Claire waggled her eyebrows at her friend.  
‘Not for sex, Claire. He wanted to make sure I got home ok. Then he ended up staying. It was late,’ she playfully nudged Claire’s arm, ‘There was absolutely no funny business.’  
‘Only you could call it funny business and not come across as a prude. I KNOW what you like in the bedroom.’  
Stef scoffed, feigning surprise. ‘Oh, do you?’  
‘Because I suggested half of the shit you do.’  
They fell into a fit of giggles. For the rest of the night they drank wine and made fun the cheap horror movies they were so obsessed with. Eventually falling asleep together on the sofa.  
Stef woke with a groan. ‘Don’t drink three nights in a row,’ she said to the sleeping figure of her friend.  
Her phone was ringing.  
‘Oscar.’ She croaked.  
‘Oh dear, not again.’ He laughed. ‘Were you up to no good last night Ms. James?’  
Stef scoffed, ‘Actually, no. Or maybe I was. I’m with Claire. We passed out on the sofa.’ Moving into the back yard, she pulled the door closed behind her. It was hot, even with it being early, the birds were chirping, a little too loudly she thought.  
‘Well then yes you were up to no good.’  
‘I was out with Claire two nights in a row.’  
‘For shame, Effie, for shame!’  
Stef laughed. ‘To what do I owe the pleasure of this call?’  
Oscar cleared his throat, ‘Hold on a sec.’ There was a female voice in the background.  
Stef raised her eyebrows, her lips curling into a half smile.  
‘Who’s that?’ she asked, hearing Oscar moving back to the mouthpiece.  
‘Someone I work with.’  
‘Suuuuuure,’ Stef drew out, she had missed teasing him, it had been a while since they had been together face to face.  
‘Hey, I’m looking forward to the weekend. You sticking around after the party?’  
‘Of course, why wouldn’t I?’  
‘Just in case you and mystery lady want to head off to a rodeo.’  
‘Oh fuck off, Effie. And hey, I was worried about you, that’s why I called.’  
‘Why were you worried about me?’  
‘Well, I did send you a few messages, the first you ignored and the second you didn’t even look at.’  
‘Oops.’ Was all Stef could say. ‘I didn’t mean to ignore you, I’ve just been busy. Socialising.’  
‘I’m happy you’re getting out more. You need to loosen up a bit. You’re getting antsy. And angsty. It’s not good for you to cut yourself off from everyone.’  
Stef scowled, she knew he was right but didn’t want to let him know he was right.  
‘I gotta go. Thanks for the call. We still ok for Friday? My flight comes in at 8pm’  
‘I’ll be there.’ He assured her before ending the call.  
Stef took a long breath and closed her eyes. She was shaking. Either from the hangover or the thoughts of Oscar worrying about her. He did that. Only he could see when she was slipping and always, always, he pulled her back from the depths. Always him. No one else.  
After twenty two years, he was still there supporting her, always her cheerleader. It made her sad that she couldn’t move past their trouble, she wouldn’t forgive herself if she forgave him, that was part of the problem. Could she ever trust him again? It was a question she asked herself often, every time they got a little closer, she would push back and he would feel it and be hurt by it. And the cycle started again. And she didn’t know how to break it.  
Frustrated now as well as hungover, Stef huffed and dragged her hair back out of her face, holding it back a little tighter than she should but the sting of it was easing the tension.  
It was there that Claire found her, sitting on the porch steps in the sunshine, breathing softly, eyes closed.  
‘You good, girl?’  
Claire looked worse than Stef felt. Her make up was a mess.  
‘You look terrible.’  
‘Well, so do you, bitch.’

***

Hours later, as Stef sat with her guitar in her lap, plucking the strings, the chords not coming together. But she kept at it. It was therapy for her. She needed to get this song out of her and move on.  
Her phone dinged.  
**Jared:** I got home ok. Hope you’re good.  
It wasn’t as warm a text as she had hoped for. But, you can never really read someones tone from a text.  
Just as she was putting the phone down, another text came through.  
Don’t say hi to Brendan. 👀👎🏻  
Stef spluttered. ‘Damn, he hates you buddy.’  
Brendan didn’t bother lifting his head.  
Happy you got home ok. Brendan says he will work on his issues.  
She wished she could have him sitting across from her while she strummed the tune she had written purely because of him.  
It was catchy, so far she was proud of it. Definitely going on the next album. She placed a star beside the title in her notepad.  
Opening the recording feature on her laptop, she sang the opening verse and chorus, with the bare minimum of guitar behind it. It would do. That way she wouldn’t forget how she wanted it to sound.  
**Jared:** I’m open to a reconciliation.  
Taking the opportunity to be a little spontaneous. Stef opened the front camera on her phone, grabbing Brendan and snapping a picture before he could react.  
The selfie turned out great, she was smiling, he looked surprised.  
Sent.  
A moment later a picture came through, taking a little too long to download.  
A close up shot of Jared, wearing his beanie (of course) his hand cupping his chin, smiling into the camera.  
Her stomach did a flip. ‘Why is he so beautiful?’  
Brendan, annoyed at having been manhandled, made his way out of the room.  
’Tell me why, Brendan? Why is this my life?’  
Her phone rang. ‘Oh,’ was all she could say, seeing the video call option popping up on screen.  
Panic answering, she had no time to fix herself.  
‘You scared him, he’s run away.’ Stef rambled.  
Jared was in the same position as his selfie, smiling into the camera.  
‘Never mind that guy. How are you?’  
Stef flicked her hair over her shoulder, pulling at her shirt nervously.  
‘Writing.’   
‘Is that a state of being for you?’ His eyes crinkling as she smile grew wider.  
Stef mirrored Jared by leaning her chin into her hand.  
‘My apologies, I am well. Tired, having spent an evening with Claire again. And you?’  
‘Two nights in a row, you party animal. My family have gone to bed. I’m sitting here alone missing my new friend.’  
Stef felt herself blush and felt the heat ignite in her belly at the way he was looking at her.  
‘Cute pictures of you two from the party by the way,’ he was leaning back on the sofa now, laying flat and getting comfortable.  
‘Oh god, what pictures?’ Mild panic taking over.  
‘You were tagged on instagram. Looks like some bathroom selfies,’ he chuckled watching her cover her face and groan.  
’That girl is going to put up the wrong picture of these days and get me into trouble. Hey wait, how did you know I was tagged in a photo. I didn’t even get a notification.’  
‘It came up about two seconds before I called you. And I follow you in instagram, have done for a while actually.’  
Stef bit her lip, realising she hadn’t actually followed him, just stalked his page a few days back.  
‘Hey, I gotta ask, does your wife mind you calling me like this?’  
The smile fell from his face a little. ‘Probably, I have told her we became friends after the video shoot. I know she’d like you, we’re just, uh, going through a bad time right now. Nothing that we can’t fix though,’ he added, seeing concern on her face.  
‘It’s all good. We’ll get you down here for a Texas barbecue and you can hang with us and Jensen and his family. It’ll be fun. And your son too. I’d love to meet him. Is he like you or his dad?’  
The awkwardness was gone from the conversation now as he saw her face light up at the mention of Darius.  
‘He is like his dad, dark and handsome. Quite a bit taller though, nearly six foot. Not nearly as tall as you thought’  
‘No one is, don’t worry.’ Jared teased.  
‘Personality wise, he is like me. He’s reserved, not a bit interested in the fame his father has.’  
Jared raised his eyebrows, ‘So, baby daddy is famous?’  
Stef considered the fact that Jared didn’t know her all that well, ‘Yeah. We keep our private lives private. We didn’t want Dar growing up with a public life. We didn’t think it was fair to him. But, he’s a man now, he can decide whether or not he wants to go to events with his dad.’  
The temptation was too much, Jared had to ask. ‘So, who is baby daddy? Anyone I know?’  
Stef giggled, ‘Actually you probably do know him, Oscar Isaac.’  
‘Whaaaaat? Oh man, you know I love Star Wars!’ He gushed.  
Stef fell into a fit of giggles, ’Oh shit, I gotta tell him Jared Padalecki is fangirling over him.’  
‘Well, this is amazing, my new best girl’s baby daddy is Poe Dameron!’  
Stef stuttered ‘uh, ok your ‘new best girl’s’ baby daddy is not a fictional character from Star Wars.’  
‘Oh come on! I already knew you were cool. I just like you twenty thousand times more now.’  
The conversation continued in that manner, both giggling at each other until Stef said she had to get to bed. A proper nights sleep was high on her list.  
Before hanging up, Jared held up a hand to get her full attention. ‘Just promise me, you will call me during the week and play that new song for me.’  
’A private viewing?’ Stef said, stroking the neck of her guitar.  
The look on his face had a rush of heat pool in her core. Inwardly, she groaned as he winked, ‘I am up for any kind of show you want to give me.’  
He bit his lip straight after. Stef opened her mouth in pretend shock. ‘It would just be me,’ she lowered her voice. Jared cocked an eyebrow at her.  
‘Poe Dameron doesn’t do cam shows.’  
Jared groaned loudly, covering his face with his hand.

He went to bed that night and lay awake staring at the ceiling, thoughts of Stef wouldn’t leave him alone, the guilt he felt was immense. He wanted her, there was no question. Did she want him?  
Reaching over, he touched his wife's shoulder, finding she was easily roused. She couldn’t sleep either.  
‘Baby, we gotta talk.’


	6. I Can Breathe When I'm Underwater

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A Jared Padalecki/OFC/Oscar Isaac fiction.
> 
> Stef is a musician, recently gone solo. Happy with her life as a forever single person until Jared makes it his mission to get close to her. Oscar, her best friend and ex has always been close to her and isn't too happy with Stef's new arrangement. (For the purpose of this fiction, I have liberated some lyrics from various artists and their videos. This is fiction, with real people mentioned.)

Stef had only been waiting a few minutes outside the arrivals hall when a black rental car pulled up alongside her. The window rolled down and a familiar face appeared. Oscar, smirking at her. One arm resting outside of the door as he beckoned to her. ‘Hey girl, get in.’   
Darius jumped out of the passenger side, helping his mother with her suitcase. ‘Good to see you, baby.’ Stef grabbed him into a hug and giving him a once over, noticing anything new she could comment on. ‘Love the stubble.’  
‘Shut up,’ he grumbled, hugging her tighter. ‘Good to see you too Mom. Come on, dad is itching to get going, he says he hasn’t had a beer in weeks.’  
Stef climbed into the passenger seat and smacked Oscar lightly, ‘Don’t get out to greet me or anything.’   
Oscar was still smirking at her, ‘I’ll say hello later.’  
‘Gross.’ Darius spoke up from the back seat.   
‘Shut up,’ Oscar and Stef said in unison.

The party was in a venue of Darius’s choosing, already the bar was packed with his friends, none of whom Stef had met. A few of Oscar’s buddies arrived shortly before the DJ kicked off his barrage of music for the night.   
‘You dancing? Oscar was wiggling his hips, enticing Stef onto the dance floor. Putting the straw between her teeth she batted her eyes at him, ‘Maybe, it depends on who asks.’  
Oscar grabbed her waist and pulled her toward him, her hand on his chest, pushing him away a little. He always enjoyed her playful resistance. He pressed his cheek to hers. ‘I’m asking.’ 

Stef finished her G&T and wrapped her arm around his shoulders and followed his steps, moving together. His hands moved down toward her ass. Giving him a warning stare, he moved them back up to her hips. He pulled his bottom lip between his teeth, looking at her mouth, all intentions of kissing her before the end of the night.   
Stef could feel herself getting wet from the close contact. How was he still able to turn her into such a mess? He knew it too.  
When the song ended, Stef made her way to the bar, Oscar pulling at her hand. ‘You finished dancing already?’   
‘I think one dance was enough, it is our son’s party after all. We don’t want to make a show of ourselves, do we?’ She licked her lips.   
‘Don’t do that.’  
‘Do what?’  
‘That thing with your mouth.  
‘You don’t get to tell me what to do, Oscar.’ She countered, pushing a shot of tequila towards him.

Several shots in, they were posing for pictures with Darius. They had the photographer take a sweet picture of the three of them together smiling, then squishing his face between them. ‘That’s going on instagram!’ Stef declared.  
Darius agreed, which surprised her. He didn’t do social media.

Stef took a deep breath and dived into the second G&T of the night. She would need more to get through the party. One of Oscar’s friends, who had already had enough drinks before he arrived at the party dance-walked towards her, disco lights glinting off his heavy gold necklace.  
‘So he hasn’t married you yet?’ He lifted Stef’s hand and rubbed a stubby digit along her ring finger.  
Stef could only give him a false smile, ‘Not yet,’ she replied through gritted teeth.  
‘I always tell him he should have married you.’  
‘Ok, thanks.’ Stef excused herself, seeing someone she recognised finally, leaving creepy friend dancing alone.  
As the evening wore on, she found herself needing a break from the talking and the heat of the bodies around her. Stepping into the night air, which was much warmer down here than at home, she checked her phone. No new messages. In a way, it was easier not talking to Jared right now. He had been quiet, sending a few texts but she had been so busy that she never got a chance to call him and have him listen to the song as she had promised.   
‘Too much for you?’ Oscars soft voice pulled her from her thoughts.  
‘A little.’   
Oscar lit a cigarette, taking a long drag, watching her through the whorls of smoke. ‘You want to get out of here?’  
‘Are you suggesting what I think you are?’   
‘We can be old fucks and leave the party early.’  
‘No, we can’t. It’s our boys birthday.’  
‘Can you believe we have a man now? Oscar leaned against the wall, leaving the smoke hanging from his lips as he dug his hands into his pockets. Looking at him, she knew there were so many more songs she could write about him. What was left to write about him, she wondered. Bad boy exterior and sweet as honey interior.  
‘He’s going to a house party later.’  
‘Tell him to be careful, he doesn’t listen to me any more.’ Stef absentmindedly reached out to fix Oscar’s collar.  
‘You raised him right, he will be careful.’  
‘We raised him right,’ she stressed. ‘You were there too.’  
‘I wish I had been there for all of it,’ he grasped her hand and held it against his chest, feeling the heat of her was comforting.  
‘You are the perfect father, I couldn’t have chosen better.’  
Oscar shook his head a little, ‘Thank you. That’s something. I wish I could have been a better boyfriend.’  
‘Don’t start this now, please,’ she pleaded.  
‘I have to say it.’  
‘You’ve said it a thousand times, Oscar.’  
‘And I’ll say it a thousand more if it means you will finally forgive me.’  
Stef sighed, ‘I have forgiven you.’  
Forgiven but never forgotten, she had never been able to move on from his infidelity.   
‘Let’s go back inside and enjoy the rest of the party.’ Taking his hand she led him back into the crowded club.

Stef tossed and turned. Not being in her own bed was weird, she never slept well in unfamiliar surroundings. The bed was comfortable and the room was warm, so there was really no reason for this sleeplessness.  
3am. She stared at her phone, willing the time to go by faster when an idea struck her.  
It would be bad and she may end up regretting it. Fuck it, she thought.   
Two minutes later she was standing outside Oscar’s room, which happened to be only three doors down from her own.   
The door swung open and a sleepy, dishevelled Oscar stood in front of her.  
‘Can’t sleep?’  
‘Nah. You?’  
‘I was sleeping. In fact I was dreaming nice things.’  
Stef slipped in past him, seeing the bed sheets thrown back. She felt a little bad.  
‘Everything ok?’ He was wearing nothing but a pair of black boxers. Trying not to follow the trail of hair from his belly button that disappeared into his shorts, she looked back up into his tired eyes.  
‘I’m good. Sorry for waking you. I’ll go back to my room, I just took a chance you’d still be up.’ Turning to leave she felt his hand on hers, pulling her back.  
‘Come on, get in.’  
She slid into the warm sheets and felt the bed dip behind her. He settled in, putting an arm around her, pulling her close. It had been so long since they had slept in the same bed that she had forgotten how hot he got in his sleep. He radiated heat in waves. Tonight though, she didn’t mind.   
Turning over, she came face to face with him. She could see his eyes flutter open.   
Without really thinking about it, she leaned in to him and placed her lips on his. There was no hesitation on his side, he kissed her back, his hand resting on the back of her neck, fingers curling gently into her hair.   
Stef moved closer, hooking her leg around his.   
He moaned into her mouth, feeling the heat between her legs.   
‘You sure you want to do this?’ Oscar pressed a thumb to her chin, pulling away from the kiss for a moment.  
She nodded, a soft sigh coming from her as she leaned in again, eager to meet his lips.   
Rolling her onto her back, Oscar placed his elbows on either side of her head, locking her in as he looked down at her.   
Raising her hips beneath his, she felt him grow inside his boxers. He continued the kiss, nipping at her lips, pulling it gently between his teeth.  
Moving her hands down his strong muscled back, she groped into his shorts and squeezed his ass cheeks. He groaned, placing kisses across her neck. Whispering softly to her in Spanish, the way he knew she liked.   
‘Get these off,’ she demanded. Oscar rolled over and stood up from the bed, pushing the boxers down, revealing his rock hard member. He pumped it in his hand for a moment, watching her remove her shirt.   
She leaned back on her heels, her eyes meeting his, waiting for him to agree that this was the right thing to do. Oscar leaned in and kissed her again, tracing his lips up toward her ear, sucking gently on the lobe, pushing her down flat on her back. He began kissing her chest, hooking his fingers into the band of her shorts. With a sharp tug he had them off her, throwing them aside. She stifled a giggle, biting on her finger as he grabbed her ankles and spread her legs, opening her up for him. Neither of them had been naked in front of each other for years.  
She marvelled at how time seemed to have improved him, his tanned hard lined chest heaving above her.   
He dived between her legs and licked a stripe up her already soaking pussy. Stef pushed her hand into his dark curls, eager for him to continue his ministrations. The way he was sucking on her clit had her grinding against his face, knowing that if she wasn’t so turned on, she would be embarrassed by the sounds she was making.  
She had forgotten how talented his tongue was. My god, how did she forget how good he made her feel?  
The vibrations ran through her as he hummed between her legs.   
‘You taste better than I remember, baby.’ He slid two fingers inside her and began moving them in and out. ‘Do you want me, sweet girl?’  
‘Oh god yes. I want you right now.’  
‘Patience, baby.’ He smiled and began sucking and nipping at her cunt. Crying out, she came apart for him, her body shuddering, eyes rolling back in her head.   
It had been too long since she came with someone.  
Oscar leaned back, smirking down at her. He wiped his face and ran his hands along her legs up to her hips, pulling her down so her ass was resting on his thighs.  
‘You ready for me now?’  
Stef nodded, pinching her nipples between her fingers.  
Oscar pressed the head of his cock to her folds and pushed in, his hips stopping before he was fully seated. Pulling back out, he saw her eyes flutter.  
‘How do you want it? Huh?’ He leaned over her, changing the angle of this thrust, slow and precise.   
‘Hard baby, I want you to fuck me.’ Stef breathed. Crying out as Oscar began thrusting inside her, harder each time.   
The sounds of skin hitting skin filled the room. He grunted with each thrust, digging his fingers into her hips. He couldn’t hold on much longer.  
‘Baby you feel so good, you’re gonna make me cum sooner than I’d like.’  
Stef licked her lips, looking into his dark eyes. ‘Then put your hand around my throat and look at me. I want to see you cum.’  
He did as he was told, squeezing his fingers around her neck, her hips moving now to meet his thrusts. A roar ripped through him as he filled her cunt, feeling her clamp around him at the same moment, her legs twitching, back arching off the bed.   
‘FUCK!’ She gasped as he let her go, sliding out of her. Collapsing together in a tangle of arms and legs.  
When their heavy breathing subsided and the cold began to settle on their naked flesh. Oscar dragged the sheets over them and rolled onto his side.  
‘Tell me, Effie.’ He nudged her nose with his own. ‘Will you regret being with me in the morning?’  
The softness in his gaze made her head spin. He loved her, he always had.   
’No,’ she said, not sure if she believed it herself.  
He closed his eyes and left a soft kiss on her lips.   
‘OK,’ he sighed.   
Within a few minutes they were both asleep, facing each other, her hands curled into his.


	7. Swimming on Careful Air

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A Jared Padalecki/OFC fiction.
> 
> Stef is a musician, recently gone solo. Happy with her life as a forever single person until Jared makes it his mission to get close to her. (For the purpose of this fiction, I have liberated some lyrics from various artists and their videos. This is fiction, with real people mentioned.)

_There’s glory coming out_

_I can hear it on our mouths_

_There is a stranded heart_

_Swimming on careful air_

The trailer gave her goosebumps. How did they make it look so damn good?

Interestingly, they had changed up the song just a little, it was front to back, it was only when Stef had watched the video trailer a few times through she realised just how dark she had gone with it. The butterflies were flitting about in her stomach as he wound the video back to the start again. All of the views would be hers, she just knew it.

A full on view of the tall pines in the moonlight, glancing back over her shoulder, the eeriness was palpable. There was a quick shot of Jared, just his back, hands balled into fists as he stood watching her tip toe through the leaves, eyes closed, her face raised to the night sky.

The video would be released in two days time, the teaser trailer would hopefully entice people to watch it, but honestly, once people found out that Jared was in the video, she figured they would be all over it. Not that it mattered really, she just wanted others to be excited about it too.

Her phone buzzed.

**Jared:** OHHHH YEAHHHH

**Stef:** SO EXCITED

The two day wait was too much, she wanted to break the rules and tell them to release the first video right now! But she decided to keep herself busy. 

Day one she jogged. 

Day two she jogged and finished that stupid painting that had been silently judging her. She hated it. 

It was definitely going to the gallery. A friend of hers had a little shop in the nearest town where he sold some of her art. Less effort for her and she made a nice bit of money on the side.

Finally, the day arrived. The countdown to 7pm began. 

Jared had text to ask if it was cool if he called her at about 6pm. She hadn’t seen his face in nearly 3 weeks. In the time between now and the night he video called her, he had pulled back a little, keeping to himself. So she was incredibly nervous, sitting on the floor, back against the sofa, she bit her nails. Such a bad habit. 

Deciding to strum on the guitar while she waited for the call, she began humming Walk Into The Fire, the video would be released in 1 hour. Before panic could settle in, her phone began vibrating furiously. 

Pressing the answer button, Jared’s face popped up on screen, he smiled before raising his eyebrows as Stef leaned her guitar against the back of the sofa next to her, she propped the phone up against the fireplace and accidentally gave him a full show of her cleavage before she even got a chance to get a word of greeting out.

‘Well, my evening is great. Hows yours?’ He teased.

Stef pouted playfully, ‘I was thinking if I was more nervous about the video coming out or seeing you.’ 

Biting her lip, she wondered why she had to say it out loud. Some things didn’t have to be said... Now she felt herself blushing a little.

‘Hey, you’ve gone blurry.’ Jared said sadly.

Stef leaned towards the phone, thinking the reception was probably bad down on the floor. But she realised he was fucking with her.

Another shot of her cleavage. Great.

‘Jared Padalecki!’ She scolded. 

‘Yeah, you cringed so much at that comment you made that the screen went blurry,’ he chortled.

Stef brushed her top lip with her tongue and shook her head. 

‘I’ll kill you.’

‘How would you kill me?’

‘Smothering you with my bosom seems like a way you’d like to go.’

Jared barked a laugh and covered his mouth, looking about him. ‘Shit, gotta keep it down, kids are watching tv before bed.’

‘So, are you excited for the video?’

‘Yep,’ he gave a thumbs up. ‘I’ll watch it ten million times.’

‘How long before someone twigs its you?’

‘Oh,’ he huffed, ‘I’ll give it 4 hours.’ 

They laughed together about the fact that she wasn’t a well known artist but having him in her video could bring in so much hate.

‘They’ll call you every name under the sun. We will also probably be having an affair and they will dig up all sorts of crap about you.’

‘There is no crap about me, Jared.’ Stef rested her chin in her hand and shrugged.

‘You really don’t give a shit do you?’

‘I do give a shit, about important things.’

‘Drama doesn’t do it for you.’ Jared half smiled, he admired her so much for that. Drama wasn’t on her radar, it would be interesting to see how she handled the new interest she would garner from the next video, that was the one they were both really looking forward to.

‘But listen, I got the best fans in the world. Supernatural really does have the best fans. The SPN family will open its arms to you. They’ll see how awesome you are and will want to be your friend too.’ Jared grinned. So cheesy, she had to laugh.

‘Well I hope so. It would be nice to have more than one social circle,’ she added with a nervous laugh.

‘The whole purpose of this call, aside from saying hello and that I have missed talking with you, is to wish you luck. People are gonna love you and if they don’t...fuck ‘em.’

Stef felt emotional all of a sudden, tears springing to her eyes she tried to steady herself, taking a deep breath. Jared noticed her placing her fingers to her lips.

‘Did I say something wrong?’

‘No,’ she managed, wiping a tear away before it could go anywhere. ‘Your support means a lot, Jared, thank you. And you look so cute when you think you have upset me.’ Stef smiled, hand still half covering her mouth. 

Jared looked at her with such intensity, his brows knitting together. Wishing he could reach his hand out and touch her face, her hair - the little hairs that escaped her pony tail. The ache in his chest was sobering. Taking a deep breath he forced a smile, eyelids half closed. He was falling too hard for her and he didn’t know how to stop it. 

The banging on Stef’s front door pulled them both from their silent reverie. ‘Who the fuck?’ Stef jumped up, excusing herself and looked out the peephole. Claire.

Running back to the phone, she picked it up and brought Jared with her to open the door to her friend.

Claire was holding a bottle of champagne. ‘Am I in time???’ She squealed, noticing Jared on Stef’s phone she shot a sultry look at the embarrassed woman standing guiltily on her doorstep.

‘Did I interrupt something, why do you both look so serious?’ 

‘Hey Claire!’ Jared waved.

‘Hey Jared,’ Claire waved the bottle of bubbly in front of the camera.

‘Me and your girl are gonna celebrate!’

Stef pulled the phone back so it was just her face filling the screen, giving Jared an apologetic look.

‘Go and have some fun with your friend. I have my tablet here ready to go, gonna watch it ten million times, as I promised,’ he said softly. His face as close to the screen as hers.

‘Thanks so much for the call. Let me know what you think of it later?’

‘Will do,’ he winked and pressed two fingers to his lips, blowing her a kiss.

Stef smiled and pressed the hang up button, his face freezing on the screen for a second then disappearing.

‘You fuck him yet?’ Claire shouted from the kitchen, popping the cork on the bottle.

***

The compliments for the song came in thick and fast. No one had sent anything nasty, not that Stef cared, she spent most of the night dancing barefoot in her kitchen with Claire. The bottle of champagne went down a little too easy.

Twelve hours after the video came out, it was sitting at a nice view count. One of her most watched videos. 

Darius said he watched it and that it was cool, but didn’t want to watch the next one in case it was ‘gross’. Stef assured him it would be gross but that he should watch it anyway since it was art.

It wasn’t until late the next day that Oscar had finally called her. Just like every time before when they met, he would pull back a little, like he had too much of her and needed a break. It was the cycle they were stuck in that Stef both hated and loved. She needed him in her life, but also needed him to keep his distance. Oscar could be intense. 

He kept it simple, saying he loved the video and that he was so very proud of her. Before she could ask how he was, he said he had to go. He was still working hard on set and wouldn’t have a chance to talk again for a while.

Maybe next week he would need to talk to her more. That was how it worked.

Jared had sent ten texts in a row, most of them emojis and a few gif’s of people running around screaming with excitement.

**Jared** : Love it, love it. You are amazing.

**Stef:** It was all you, you set the mood and the tone.

**Jared:** Can’t wait for all of my awards. 

**Stef:** You will be rewarded handsomely for your fine work.

**Jared:** Are you rewarding me?

**Stef:** Already am...with my presence. I will share some of my extreme wealth and fame. You so obviously need it.

Stef was laying in a bath with a ridiculous amount of bubbles texting back and forth with Jared. 

A notification for instagram popped up. 

‘Killing it.’ It said. From Jensen Ackles, replying to a picture promoting the new song.

‘Awww, Brendan, look, real people like it. Not just you and me buddy. Stef showed Brendan the screen, if he cared he didn’t let on, he continued licking his paw, laying out on the tiled floor next to the bath.

And with that, several responses and hearts for Jensen’s comments. Their fans really were trawling for anything the guys commented on. It warmed her heart a little though. They seemed sweet.

As she was replying to say a simple ‘thank you,’ Jared’s name popped up on screen. Video call. Feeling a little daring, she answered.

‘Hey, girl. So someone has figured out it was me, they keep tagging me in shit now. My phone is blowing up, notifications are OFF,’ he stressed.  ‘ Wait, where the fuck are you?’

‘In my house.’

Jared tilted his head to the side and playfully pulled his shoulders to his ears, ‘but where in your house?’

Stef stifled a laugh. ‘Guess.’

‘You’re in the bath. You have been texting me and now video calling me from the bath.’ Sighing, he shook his head a little, hair falling into his eyes.

‘You called ME.’ 

‘Yeah but you didn’t have to answer!’ 

‘You want me to hang up?’

‘No,’ he said quickly. ‘I like this.’ He pointed his finger at her and back to himself.

‘If it makes you uncomfortable, I will turn off the camera.’ Stef suggested, knowing he would insist she shouldn’t.

‘I’ve seen more than just your neck before.’

‘Why do you always have something cheeky to say?’

‘I’m cheeky,’ he said simply, adding a little wink.

Stef made a show of splashing the water around a bit and pushed some bubbles up to cover her shoulders, the only part that Jared could see. He watched her silently. 

’So...’ He started. ‘I’ll be back in in Vancouver in about a week.

’So soon?’ Stef felt the butterflies fluttering about her insides again.

‘Yeah, meetings on meetings on meetings. Boring stuff but yeah anyway, wanna hang out?’

‘Of course,’ Stef couldn’t hide the excitement bubbling inside her. 

‘Sweet.’ Jared looked around him and obviously deciding he was alone he whispered into the phone. ‘I have a friend who owns a nice cabin not too far from you, I was thinking we could head up there for a couple of days. If you want.’

Stef considered it for a moment, ‘a cabin, alone with you for a few days.’ 

Jared winked. 

And there it was, a confirmation that he wanted her. The heat flooded into her core, there was nothing to do but to squeeze her legs together a little under the water to ease the tension.

‘And what do you plan to do all day?’

‘Fish.’ He grinned. 

‘Great. What will I do?’

Jared rolled his eyes, ‘watch me fish.’ 

Stef let out a loud laugh, the echo bouncing off the tiles, startling Brendan. 

Damn, maybe he did just want to fish. Why was she over thinking this? Surely it was just two friends hanging out in the middle of nowhere.

‘I like the sound of this adventure.’ 

Jared’s smile widened, watching her bite her lip. All he could think was ‘fuck, she is beautiful and she just agreed to spend time alone with me in a cabin.’ He had been nervously running a sweaty hand down his jeans until he heard her confirmation. A grateful sigh escaped his lips. ‘Great, I’ll arrange it. You just bring yourself.’ 

‘I can’t wait.’

‘Gotta run, kids are going to bed. But hey, next time I call you, use less bubbles.’ He winked again, blowing a kiss into the camera.

One minute later, Stef had dropped the phone on the cat and was circling her clit with her finger, her other hand grasping at her breast as she threw her head back, mouth open. Seeing Jared’s face above her, his hips moving between her legs, imagining the strength of his arms as he held her while he fucked her. 

The echo of her moan came back at her as she orgasmed onto her fingers.

‘Fuck me, Jared,’ she gasped. Soon, she thought, very hopefully soon. 

_There’s glory coming out_

_I can taste it on our mouths_

_There is a stranger’s heart beating inside my chest_


	8. Old Songs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A Jared Padalecki/OFC fiction.
> 
> Stefanie James is a musician, recently gone solo. As a single mother and ex girlfriend Oscar Isaac, she is happy with her life as a forever single person until Jared makes it his mission to get close to her.   
> (For the purpose of this fiction, I have liberated some lyrics from various artists and their videos. This is fiction, with real people mentioned.)

I feel you in the pocket of my overcoat  
My fingers wrap around your words  
They take the shape of games we play

When the sun sets on a warm evening where the trees are still and the birds are settling in their branches, it takes away the fear of the unknown. Stef sat waiting for the lights to change, if she had followed the directions right, it was another half hour drive and she would be there. The anxiety from earlier dissipated while she watched the sun steal away from the sky, giving way to the stars. They were so clear out here.   
Turning down a dirt road, the sign for the house confirmed she was in the right place. Jared’s car was already parked out front.   
When he said cabin, she thought cosy. This was a whole other level, it was a two story glass fronted house made of dark wood, modern but homely.  
In the absence of her headlights, she realised how dark it really was out here.   
The front door opened and Jared came rushing out, ‘Glad you made it ok.’ He had just stuffed his feet into boots, laces flying as he ran to open the car door for her, pulling her into the tightest hug she thought she ever had.  
She felt him kiss the top of her head and chuckle, ‘so short.’  
‘Am not.’  
Jared placed his finger under her chin, lifting her face to his but stopping himself. His smile faltering a little.   
This wasn’t the time or place.  
Checking himself, he released her from the hug and offered to take her bags inside.   
‘Let me give you a tour!’ He seemed incredibly excited, kicking off his boots and tossing his jacket onto the coat stand.   
Stef began unzipping her own jacket when she felt his large hands tugging it from her arms, he gave her a gentle smile and settled her jacket on top of his. Taking his lead, she pulled off her boots and followed him into the living room. He spread his arms out, gesturing to the huge open plan area. ‘The kitchen is back here,’ flicking a light on and showing a small but incredibly functional cooking space that Stef had only dreamed of.  
‘And,’ he continued, ‘downstairs bathroom,’ pushing the door open and quickly closing it again. Stef supposed she didn’t really need to see it. ‘Entertainment area,’ he flopped down onto the sofa and patted the cushion next to him.  
Stef sat on the corner of the seat, crossing her arms across her stomach, feeling for the first time quite exposed, being alone with him in a strange space.  
‘You ok?’ Jared reached his hand out to place it on her shoulder but hesitated, instead pulling a lock of her hair between his thumb and index finger.   
‘It’s amazing, who owns it?’  
‘Jensen, actually,’ Jared grinned, ‘he said I could borrow it any time I wanted. So I finally took him up on the offer.’   
Stef dared not look at him, her heart was hammering so fast she was sure he could hear it. Her eyes darted around the room, looking for something else to take her attention. The tv was huge, it took up the majority of the wall above the fireplace. There was little to show that this was a family vacation home, she supposed Jensen would have pictures of his wife or children. A dog. Anything. But no, it was strangely sterile.   
‘Come on, I’ll show you upstairs.’ Jared leaned in and gently nudged her.   
The hallway upstairs was at the front of the house, it consisted of long windows on one side and four doors on the other.   
‘Upstairs bathroom,’ he pointed as he passed, ‘kids room, bed too small for me to sleep in,’ He jested. ‘Second bedroom and the coolest spot in all of the house, the master bedroom,’ he said dramatically, opening the door.  
‘Please don’t say “where the magic happens,”’ Stef said softly, looking about the room with awe. The furs, the wooden panelling, the huge windows, the doorway leading out onto a balcony that had the most beautiful view - trees, mountains and the lake, just about visible now shimmering in the moonlight.   
‘Holy crap.’   
‘Amazing, right? I’m kinda jealous. Sometimes I wish I could split myself in half. One part of me at home, being the man with his family and the other - the man with the calm of this place.’  
‘I like the calm bit.’ Stef turned to face him, ‘I’ve already done the family part.’   
Without waiting for an invitation, she opened the door to the balcony and stepped out. It was half covered over, with a very comfortable looking bench with some throws and pillows. Stef assumed Jared had made the place a little cosy before she arrived.  
‘And I imagine you shall be sleeping here.’  
‘On the bench on the balcony?’ Jared grinned.  
She nudged him with her shoulder, ‘always got something funny to say.’  
‘I’m an entertainer!’ He said defensively.  
‘You can have this room, I absolutely don’t mind. I can sleep on the bench out here and keep you safe from bears and creepy guys.’  
’God, you’re so manly, you’re my hero,’ Stef teased back.  
***  
With a glass of red wine in hand, Stef watched Jared strum on a borrowed guitar, singing one her own songs back her. It was a sweet acoustic version of an old, old song. One she had written at 20 years old, when she felt the pressure of everything on her shoulders.   
‘Now you,’ he said, Stef jumping slightly from the sudden change in the volume of his voice.   
Jared had already put the guitar in her lap and leaned back against the sofa, taking a sip of his beer he waited for her to start singing.  
‘Come on you said we would take turns. I did my terrible rendition, now you sing for me.’  
‘No, you said we would take turns singing.’ Stef felt the defiance being crushed from her with the look on his face. His hazel eyes were holding her gaze, his bottom lip between his teeth. He was just too damn good looking, she couldn’t resist him.   
‘OK well, do you want an old one or a new one?’ The entertainer in her coming out, Jared was her audience, gone was regular Stef, Stefanie James the performer sat in her place.   
‘Ohhh,’ he rumbled, his voice a few octaves lower than usual, he regarded her, with a face that she would describe as lustful. Claire’s words of ‘he would eat you right up,’ came back to her mind. That’s what that look was.   
‘New one.’  
Stef pulled her eyes from his face and looked down at her fingers on the fret board, the familiar chords coming easy now, having practiced this song over and over since she met him.

‘You walked in, I knew you to see  
So we began, on my part clumsily’

Her tone low and delicate, eyes closed now. 

‘And that wet strand clinging to your face  
Well I almost brushed it away  
But it's not my place, being a near stranger  
That is the danger in being  
The most beautiful one I ever nearly knew  
Suddenly I'm full of you’

Opening her eyes, she stopped strumming. Jared had put his drink down and moved closer to her, his large hand resting on her face, his thumb brushing lightly across her lips. The electricity of his touch was running through her, hair standing on end. His face was so close. Her quiet submission took him by surprise, he expected something in her face to tell him to stop, but there she was, as in his fantasy, face upturned, lips parting, waiting for him.  
‘Stef,’ seeking her permission, the strain of lust in his voice.   
She grabbed his shirt and pulled him down, his mouth claiming hers in a searing kiss. His hands on each side of her face, holding her there, fearing she would turn to dust and slip through his fingers.   
This was real, she was kissing him back. Hearts fluttering in their chests, together in the moment. Jared fingers moved down her neck, resting his thumb on the dip beneath her throat, feeling the low groan vibrating there. Jared pulled away from the kiss and looked down at her, her eyes slowly opening and finding his. ‘Why did you stop?’ she breathed.   
Jared closed the space between them and kissed her again, pushing his tongue past her lips. Stef smiled against him. ‘Let me move the guitar.’ Both panting now in their need to get closer to each other. The guitar fell to the floor with a loud thump, the strings bellowing making them both laugh into the kiss.   
Stef let her hands wander across his shoulders and into his warm brown hair. He was doing the same, she felt the tug of his long fingers in her hair, the other stroking her collarbone.   
The urgency of their kiss left no room for talking. She didn’t have to tell him to hook his hands under her knees and pull her down so she was flat on her back, he just did it. Jared moved between her legs and still kneeling, placed both hands on her small waist, continuing to explore her tongue with his. Moans interrupting the silence.   
Jared felt her hands pushing against his chest. He pulled back and looked down at her, he raked his hand through his hair, moving it back from his face. Seeing her swollen lips and her panic stricken face.   
‘What are we doing?’ Stef sounded tearful.  
‘Kissing. I was kissing you.’  
‘Fuck,’ she whispered, covering her face with her hand.  
‘Hey, hey,’ he soothed. ‘We don’t have to do anything.’  
Why was she panicking now? She had lost herself in the kiss and she enjoyed it. Fuck, she loved it!  
Stef watched Jared rolling away from her, propping himself up on his elbow.   
‘Talk to me.’  
Taking a deep breath, she turned to face him. Jared reached over and pushed the hair from her eyes, tucking each strand gently behind her ears. ‘You’re married.’  
He nodded, almost sadly. ‘I am.’   
‘So why am I here?’  
‘Because I invited you. I wanted you here while I enjoyed a quiet weekend.’  
Stef couldn’t say anything, she looked up at the high beamed ceiling. Feeling the tears coming, thinking of how unfair this all was. 

‘I didn’t bring you here just to sleep with you.’  
‘Jared, if I had a dollar for every time someone said that to me....’  
‘I invited you and you came. Which tells me, and hopefully I’m right when I say this, that you wanted to come here and the enjoy the downtime with me. You wanted my company just as I wanted yours.’  
‘And the kissing?’  
‘A bonus.’   
Stef rolled her eyes.  
‘And something I have wanted to do since the moment I met you.’  
Why couldn’t she take any of his words seriously? And why couldn’t she say fuck it and just lay there and be kissed by him.   
Something inside her was yelling ‘be that chick!’   
‘I’ve never been that woman.’  
‘The OTHER woman, you mean?’   
‘Yes. I’ve never let myself fall for anyone like you before.’  
‘A married man?’  
‘Yes.’ she said, her voice barely audible.  
‘Would you believe me if I told you my wife is ok with this?’  
Stef couldn’t help but let herself laugh.  
‘You’re such a bullshitter, Jared.’  
Despite the situation now laid out before him, he had to laugh. ‘Well, I knew we would have to talk about this. So I spoke to her first, obviously. She already knew how I felt about you.’  
‘How do you feel about me?’ Stef dared to meet his eyes again. The sincerity was there, he couldn’t lie to her, she knew.   
Taking her hand into his, he entwined their fingers.   
‘I have fallen for you. I didn’t mean to but I have. When I wasn’t speaking to you, I missed you. Gen and I spoke about this a few weeks ago, I quit talking to you so much to see if it would burn out but, you were on my mind all the time.’  
Jared placed a kiss on her hand, squeezing it softly. ‘I’m under your spell.’  
Stef couldn’t bring herself to say anything, she knew what he meant, she felt exactly the same. 

‘So what do we do?’  
Jared took a deep breath and sat up, letting go of her hand.   
‘Well first of all, let’s finish these drinks on the porch, because that kiss got me a little hot and bothered.’ Helping her to her feet, she saw her flush. 

Outside, they sat in silence. Jared had his elbows resting on his knees, head down.  
Stef sat with her knees against her chest, wine glass in hand. A blanket draped across her shoulders, watching Jared. Conflict with nothing but the sound of their breathing.  
‘Do you mean it when you say your wife doesn’t mind?’  
Jared shifted and leaned back against the bench. ‘She doesn’t mind. Only because it’s you.’  
Stef raised her eyebrows, questioningly.   
‘She knows I admire you professionally and that now that I know you, the true you, that my feelings won’t be ignored. I can’t make this go away, Stef.’  
He was sad.   
Stef reached over pulling a strand of his hair between her fingers, the way he had often done with her.   
‘And I’m to be the other woman.’  
‘Only if you want to be my other woman.’  
Stef closed her eyes, ‘ok’ she breathed. Was it her saying these words? It would never have been her in the past. But only he could draw her out, leaving behind the shell of her past self.   
‘Ok?’  
‘I want you, Jared. I’m sorry that you’re married but I’m not sorry that I can take you away for a while. For you to be mine for a while.’   
His dimples deepened as he smiled. ‘So I can kiss you again?’  
‘Yes please.’   
Their lips met, the world forgotten about. Everything fell away from her as she breathed him in, his lips and tongue, his hands, his lustful moans.   
‘Let’s go inside then.’ Grabbing her hand and pulling her inside the house.


	9. Desire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Summary: A Jared Padalecki/OFC fiction.
> 
> Stef is a musician, recently gone solo. Happy with her life as a forever single person until Jared makes it his mission to get close to her. (For the purpose of this fiction, I have liberated some lyrics from various artists and their videos. This is fiction, with real people mentioned.)
> 
> Chapter warnings: Flirting, swearing, infidelity, heavy petting, smut.

Boy, I’m gonna love you  
I’m gonna tear into your soul

His lips were on hers in an instant, almost too hot to breathe now. Hands in her hair, tugging the strands away from her face, kissing her jaw, like their first day on set, open mouth kisses.  
‘I want to taste every part of you.’  
Stef balled his shirt into her fists wanting there to be nothing between them.  
Releasing her grip, she brought her hands to his face, pulling back to look at him. His lust blown pupils met hers, a second of understanding between them. Don’t rush this.  
Tongues met, lips crashing against each other. The back of her legs met the sofa, not realising they had been moving. Jared grabbed her, saving her from falling backwards. His hands landing on her ass. For the first time he got to feel it, squeezing it through her jeans earning a groan from her. She was nibbling his earlobe, licking the sweet spot below his ear.  
His eyes shot open and a harsh moan filled the silence.  
‘Shit, sorry.’ Stef tried to move way but Jared hummed against her neck, ‘it’s ok, I love it. I’m completely yours if you keep kissing me there.’  
‘Noted,’ Stef said playfully into his ear, sending shivers up his spine.  
With one hand still on her ass, the other roamed, stopping at the back of her neck, giving him the leverage he needed to pull her into another kiss.  
The urge to fuck her right there was overwhelming.  
Grinding her hips against him, she felt the bulge in his pants growing. Such was the urgency of their tryst, her hands began touching everywhere they could, lifting the front of his shirt, her fingers ran along the hair on his stomach, the treasure trail she had fantasised about.  
Feeling the heat of her hands against his skin he released her from his grip. Stepping away a little and looking down at her.  
‘Do you want to stop?’ Stef’s breath coming fast, eyes roaming his face, looking for a sign that he wanted her to slow down.  
‘Don’t stop touching me,’ it was a command, a smile was on his face, but it wasn’t one she had seen before. His lust for her translated to his eyes, burning into hers. Stef felt the heat rising in her from the intensity of his gaze, his eyes never leaving her face while she trailed her fingers along his stomach, she hooked her fingers into the band of his underwear. Heat rising to meet her hands, she bit her lip.  
Undoing his belt with a quick snap, she looked up at him to judge his reaction, he said nothing, but that smile was still there. He swallowed slowly, seeing her unbuttoning his jeans, the ache in his groin easing with the release. Her hands were on him again, running her nails along the outline of his erection.  
He leaned his head back a little, enjoying the sensation.  
Deciding to take a little more control, Jared placed a hand on her hers and began stroking his cock over his underwear.  
Unable to control himself, he moaned, grabbing her again and rutting against her. The force of it sending her tumbling onto the sofa. Jared was on her before she could choke out a laugh that was bubbling inside her. The excitement and nervousness rolling together. Never had she felt such desire from anyone.  
‘I want you,’ Stef whispered, sucking on the sweet spot under his ear again.  
Entwining his hands with hers, he took a slow breath.  
‘You sure?’  
Stef nodded, kissing him lightly on the lips, tenderness replacing the urgency from a few moments ago.  
Jared was kissing down her neck, sucking hard at the flesh there, leaving marks along her skin, the sensation drove her crazy, opening her mouth in a silent moan.  
Freeing one hand he lifted up her shirt roughly, licking and sucking down her breastbone to her belly button. Placing a kiss against the piercing she had since she was 19.  
‘Cute,’ he murmured against her skin, feeling her giggle.  
Her core began to clench, the ache between her legs was driving her insane. She wished he were down there already.  
But he ignored it completely, bringing his hands to her chest, he squeezed her in each of his large hands.  
‘Black lingerie.’ He grinned up at her.  
‘Always,’ she said, winking.  
With a lustful moan he tore the bra from one of her breasts and began to devour her. The moment he released the nipple from his mouth, it formed into a peak, he pinched it between his fingers while he worked his way over to the other nipple. Never before had she wanted someone to play with her breasts like this, the sensations were immense.  
‘Don’t stop doing that,’ she breathed.  
He made some sounds, perhaps they were words, but she couldn’t decipher them.  
‘I said, take your shirt off.’  
There it was, that commanding voice again. She really liked that. Eyes widening with surprise, she obeyed, pulling the shirt over her head, letting it fall on the floor.  
‘You’re beautiful,’ he kissed her again, running his tongue against hers and pulling away. Unhooking her bra with one hand. His mouth was on her nipple again, the pain of his teeth against her was delicious. She was soaking through her panties, grinding against him, wishing he would put his hand into her jeans to feel it.  
‘Patience,’ he said, looking up at her through his long eyelashes.  
‘I want to touch you,’ she begged.  
Jared grabbed her wrists and pushing them together, he forced her arms over her head.  
‘Later.’  
That was it, the gush of heat that she felt ruined her panties, the shock of the wave of arousal made her cry out.  
Jared raised his head from between her breasts, surprise on his face. ‘You ok?’ Worried he’d hurt her, he released her wrists before seeing her shake her head.  
‘Jesus christ, you’re making me so fucking wet right now.’  
Jared’s chuckled, mostly with relief. ‘So, you’re ok with this?’ He moved up her body, placing kisses against her neck again.  
‘You are going to make me cum in my pants, taking control like that. I love it.’  
Jared hummed and bit into the skin of her neck, she stiffened beneath him, trying to squeeze her legs together for some relief.  
‘You’ll cum, won’t you?’ he asked, teasingly, ‘I won’t even have to touch you...’ his hand trailed down her stomach and rested between her legs, ‘there.’  
Stef bit her lip to stop from moaning, brows furrowed in concentration, telling herself not to cum.  
A new excitement simmering in his loins, so she did like it a little rough, he had really hoped that was the case. Pulling his cock free in one quick movement, he guided her hand to it. Her eyes widening at the sight of him. He was huge, Claire was right. She had wondered about it, but never truly imagining it would be that impressive.  
Rubbing her fingertip along the head, she collected some of the pre-cum waiting there and raised a hand to her mouth, licking it from her fingers. Jared’s eyes had turned almost black from lust.  
‘On your knees.’  
Without hesitating, Stef moved from under him. Slipping her jeans down and kicking them off, she knelt in front of him.  
‘I knew you’d wear matching underwear’ he grinned, canting his head to the side to look at her below him while she shimmied her panties down. Jared relieved himself of his shirt while Stef pulled his jeans down past his knees.  
Burying his hands in her hair, he placed the tip of his cock to her lips. She opened her mouth, allowing him to slip inside. The heat of her tongue sent him hurtling towards an end before he even began. He pulled back suddenly, startling her. ‘You feel too good.’  
Stef smiled up at him. ‘Would you like me to go easy on you?’  
Jared moaned, placing a hand under her chin, pulling her mouth open and rubbing the head of his cock inside her again. Biting his lip hard as he watched her work it over her tongue, closing her lips around it. He was at the back of her throat and then at her lips again. Holy shit she was good at this.  
‘That is the sound I imagined you making,’ she gasped between licks.  
‘You imagined this?’  
‘And more.’  
‘We will get back to that.’ He pushed into the back of her throat again, he couldn’t hold back, allowing himself to let go. The cum hit her throat, his cock throbbing inside her, the noise he made behind gritted teeth made her impossibly wet.  
She had been touching herself, fingers slipping in and out of her soaked folds.  
He noticed only when he stood back watching her as he came down from his high.  
‘You touching yourself while I’m getting off, baby?’  
Stef cocked an eyebrow at him, ‘I can’t stand it, you’re too fuckin’ hot.’  
‘Get up here,’ he grabbed her hair, not to hurt her, but he was letting her know he was still in charge.  
Laying herself down on the sofa, Jared gripped her calves and moved into position. In an instant his mouth was devouring her cunt like a man that had been starved. Moans and sighs escaped her, gripping at her nipples, pressing his tongue against her clit.  
His fingers were inside her, was it two or three? The stretch felt glorious, his moans sinful.  
‘Cum in my mouth, baby,’ he commanded.  
With two more hard licks at her clit, she squeezed around his fingers. His tongue was lapping at her juices, he wouldn’t stop even after she stopped writhing in her orgasm. She twitched each time his tongue ran over her clit.  
Eventually, she had to put a hand against his hair. ‘Jared, holy fuck.’  
He was smiling up at her, his stubble shining with her cum.

They lay together in a satisfied silence, Jared running his fingers along her spine, watching the goosebumps on her skin each time he made a pass.  
‘You hungry?’ Jared eventually found the energy to speak.  
‘Nah, you just fed me.’  
Jared barked out a laugh and covered his face, half embarrassed.  
‘I am a little hungry though. You going to cook for me finally? Stef raised herself up on her elbows. Jared watched as her legs wiggled behind her.  
‘I think I will, but only after I make you cum one more time.’  
‘Oh Jared, what have I gotten myself in for.’ She pulled him down for a kiss. This one softer than the last.  
‘Turn over,’ he put a hand on her hip and rolled her over. The rug beneath them warm from their bodies.  
Jared moved between her legs, running his hands along her thighs, putting a hand on each of her knees, pushing her apart a little more so he could lay comfortably.  
‘Tell me how you want it?’ he whispered into her shoulder as he grazed his teeth along her neck and sucked the lobe of her ear. The sensation hardening her nipples. He’d remember that for later. The echoes of her last night with Oscar came back to her. Stef clammed up for a brief moment, opening to her eyes to see Jared look at her questioningly. His large hand cupping her face.  
‘You still want to do this?  
‘Yes, I do,’ she put a hand on his forearm, gripping it as if she would fall away from him.  
‘I want you to fuck me,’ guiding his hand to her throat.  
Jared was harder than he had been earlier. ‘You like it like that?’ A grin spreading across his face.  
Mmhmm, Stef moved her hips under him.  
‘It makes you wet, when my hand is around your throat.’ It was both a question and a statement.  
‘Even when we were shooting the video, you had no idea I was wanting you so bad.’ Her voice barely above a whisper, Jared tightened his grip on her neck as he thrust into her. Her slick velvety walls sucking him in.  
He rolled his eyes in pleasure. ‘I thought about it every day since,’ he confessed, slowly dragging out of her and forced himself back inside.  
‘Damn baby you’re so tight.’  
Stef managed a ragged breath under his weight. The glorious pressure of him over her. He kissed her, forceful and passionate.  
The sounds they made were pornographic, each thrust brought primal groans from both of them.  
His hips suddenly snapped against hers, causing her to cry out.  
‘Don’t stop,’ she insisted, feeling him stutter a little.  
This was the slowest and most agonisingly erotic fuck she had ever experienced. Jared was kissing her still, whispering to her when he came up for air.  
When her hands began running down his back, she dug her nails into him, seeing him react to it was fun, she thought, he liked a little pain too.  
Jared stopped thrusting into her and grabbed her arms, pushing them over her head again. Stef let a giggle escape her lips before Jared captured them again. Rolling his hips, moving deeper inside her. She squeezed her eyes shut involuntarily twitching beneath him.  
He began fucking her harder and faster. ‘I can feel you getting close baby. Scream for me.’  
It didn’t take anything else for her to cum, she cried out, looking down at where he was fucking into her. Seeing her slick coating his cock as he continued into his own release, pulling out just in time to coat her stomach.  
Breathing heavily, hair falling down onto her face, he rubbed his nose against hers. Letting her wrists go, noticing the finger marks showing already.  
‘You ok?’  
‘More than ok,’ Stef kissed him softly. ‘I’m more than ok.’  
***  
‘Fuck if this isn’t the best thing I’ve ever had in my mouth.’ Stef waited for his reaction.  
Jared almost spat the beer back into his glass. ‘Oh come on!’  
Stef waggled an eyebrow at him.  
‘It’s really good. I can say now with certainty that your cooking is better than your smoothies.’  
‘That was just electrolytes in water,’ he protested.  
The fire was lit, they were showered and clothed and sat opposite each other at the small dining table. Stef figured it was like a first date.  
‘So what do you want to do tomorrow?’ Jared was almost shovelling the food into his mouth.  
‘I thought you were going to fish?’  
‘That was before you agreed to be my girlfriend, now we have to make good use of what little time we have.’  
Girlfriend? That had a different meaning to ‘the other woman’ Stef realised. When did she agree to being his girlfriend?  
Her attention was gone, wandering to hand holding in the park, going for walks with his children, meeting his wife. Paparazzi. Oscar finding out. Darius finding out!  
Jared stopped talking, ‘what is it?’  
Stef felt herself begin to shake, oh no, not this now, she took a deep breath, and another one. Keep doing that she told herself, calm down.  
‘Stef what’s wrong?’ Jared was by her side, rubbing her back gently. His words soothing, though she wasn’t really taking them in.  
‘I need some air, excuse me.’  
Getting up from the table, she left Jared sitting on his haunches. The cold night air hit her, making her take a sharp intake of breath. This is what she needed, this helped.  
She heard his footsteps approach. ‘Is it alright if I ask that you’re ok?’  
Stef ran a hand over her face. ‘I’m sorry Jared.’  
He said nothing, hands in his pockets, his face pleading for her to open up to him.  
‘I’m not used to this, I’m sorry. It has been such a long time since I have had feelings for anyone,’ Stef laughed at herself and how stupid she sounded.  
‘Have you changed your mind?’ Jared asked, wishing he didn’t have to say it.  
‘No, I don’t regret it but I don’t want it to be for everyone else, you know? I hate the idea of people knowing and picking it apart before we get to enjoy it. If it gets past this weekend.’  
‘It will. If I have a say in it.’ Jared wrapped his arms around her, placing his chin on her shoulder. ‘It’s just for us, I promise. I wouldn’t push you into anything you didn’t want.’  
‘I’m not your girlfriend,’ Stef hugged his arms, leaning her head against his.  
‘You don’t want to be?’  
‘I can’t be, you’re married. Remember? You have a wife.’  
‘And I told you she’s ok with this.’  
‘How can she be?’  
Turning her around to face him, he cradled her face in his palms. ‘We have a good marriage, I’m away a lot and we promised each other that if we met someone else, we could date or whatever.’  
‘That’s cool that you have that. So you date a lot then?’  
‘No,’ he grinned, kissing her forehead. ‘Just you, you are the first person I’ve met other than her that I have wanted to be with.’  
‘It’s nice to have someone so understanding. You don’t get jealous?’  
‘Not really,’ he admitted. ‘Sometimes, I get a little pissed depending on the guy she might be seeing but it doesn’t happen enough for any real problems.’  
‘We haven’t agreed to be girlfriend or boyfriend, you know. I only agreed to be ‘the other woman.’  
‘Then we don’t label it.’  
‘I’m not into dating or having people around me too much. I’m awkward and I like my own space.’  
‘Well, that works with me being away half the year.’ Jared wasn’t going to let it go, she knew.  
‘I need you,’ she began kissing him, ‘to pour me another glass of wine. I’m so thirsty.’  
Jared chuckled, ‘Anything else my dear?’  
‘I’d like to see you naked again tonight.’  
‘That won’t be a problem.’

I’m hungry  
I hope you feed me


	10. Ashes On My Shoes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Summary: A Jared Padalecki/OFC fiction.
> 
> Stef is a musician, recently gone solo. Happy with her life as a forever single person until Jared makes it his mission to get close to her. (For the purpose of this fiction, I have liberated some lyrics from various artists and their videos. This is fiction, with real people mentioned.)
> 
> Chapter warnings: Flirting, swearing.

The night of the Texas show was here. Stef was always nervous for every gig, why wouldn’t she be? There were a hundred and one ways that things could go sideways. Most of them had already happened during her career. But Jared would be at this show. He had text her to say he was incoming, ’With the boys.’ She assumed Jensen would be joining him.  
The bus was parked up next to the venue, the first of bands that were playing with them had started their set. Stef was already dressed for the stage, usually she kept it simple enough but tonight she made a special effort to be a little more flamboyant. Claire had helped her put together this flowing ensemble. A dress with a plunging neckline that just about reached to her navel, long sleeves and a train of black and silver material that followed her around as she walked. It was a flirty, Morticia Addams inspired dress with a slit up the front that came up to her knees. When she moved it dragged behind her, showing off her long legs.  
The legs that Jared had kissed and ran his fingers up and down teasingly the last time they were together. He said he loved her legs. She loved them when they were wrapped around his waist.

‘Focus, Stef.’ she scolded herself in the hand held mirror she used to put on her make up.  
Just then her tour manager pulled open the door, shouting ‘you decent?’  
‘Yeah, come on in,’ Stef had one more coat of mascara to do and she was done.  
‘Wow, you look great. You going on a date afterwards?’ Jeff was cool, he was a friend from years back, from the beginning. Always a good guy to have with you on tour. You needed a snack at 3am, he got it. You needed a replacement guitar string before you ran on stage, he had it ready.  
‘Maybe.’  
Jeff carried on with his checklist, talking to himself more than to her.  
‘Your stuff is on stage, the band are hanging in the waiting room. You staying on the bus?’  
‘Nah, I’m going to go in now.’  
‘Just so you know there are some fans at the gate, waiting for you.’  
There were always a few people hanging around the venue before her shows. The first time she got off a bus with people shouting her name was definitely one of the highlights of the business for her. They were the reason why she still did shows. Her fans were always hungry for more music.  
Recognising a few of the faces in the crowd, Stef hung with them for a few minutes.  
They were complimentary about her ‘new style,’ asking if it was for the new album.  
She agreed, butterflies nesting in her stomach again at the thought that she had made this effort just for Jared. What had become of her?  
Smiling and doing her best poses with the fans, she waved them goodbye. Promising to give them a shoutout from the stage.  
The venue was packed. Though she put that down to the most excellent support acts that were with her. Slipping into the backstage area through the rear entrance, she noticed her band mates were rowdy.  
‘What is it about the Texas crowds that get you guys so wound up?’ She laughed, watching the empty mini bottles of Jager tumble down from their ludicrous game of dominoes.  
‘What is it about Texas that’s got you looking like that?’ Evan queried, the boys wolf whistled.  
‘Settle down.’ She scolded. Forever the mother. These guys had been around nearly as long as Jeff. She found them all adorable and annoying, referring to them as her ‘hairy ass babies.’  
Curing her nerves with two glasses of whiskey, she saw the second support act coming backstage, sweaty and loud.  
They’d be up next. 

Jeff appeared again, ‘Hey Stef, c’mere.’  
‘Your friends just arrived,’ he said in a hushed tone, nodding his head towards Jared and Jensen. Misha stepped out from behind the two taller men and waved energetically. ‘Hey!’ he called across the corridor at her.  
Stef ushered them into the room. Giving Jensen and Jared a hug and a kiss on both cheeks. Jared was smiling from ear to ear, but said nothing.  
‘Hey hot momma,’ Jensen tried to keep a straight face, glancing at Jared. ‘Can’t wait for the show. We brought this idiot, he loves your music too.’  
‘I’m a new fan.’ Misha pulled her into a tight hug. ‘Not as big a fan as Jared, but I still love your stuff.’  
Misha seemed to be a guy you could instantly like. Stef patted him on the back, letting him know that the hug was done.  
’Sorry, I’m excited to meet you. Jared talks about you non stop.’  
‘Do I?’ Jared was looking at Stef, taking her in, his eyes pausing on all the right places of the dress.  
‘You do, actually.’ Jensen clapped his friend on the back. ‘Come on, let’s get ready for this show then.’ He gave Misha a playful push out the door and threw Jared a look that said ‘hurry up.’  
When they had disappeared, Jeff pointing the way up to the box Stef had booked for them, Jared was still standing over her. ‘You look beautiful.’  
She could feel herself getting a little bashful. ‘Thank you,’ she replied, deciding it was best to just say it rather than pass it off as ‘this old thing?’  
‘Good luck, I can’t wait to see you play.’ He leaned in and gave her a quick peck on the lips. That surprised her, she didn’t think he wanted to advertise that they were somewhat ‘together.’  
‘I can’t wait to play for you.’ Stef smiled, giving his chin a little tug.  
‘You got about five minutes,’ Jeff came back and took Jared by the arm, leading him out of the door. 

With the lights glaring into her face, she could never see the crowd. That often helped with her nerves. Being up there made her feel so vulnerable, that was why she loved doing it so much. It was like therapy, pouring her heart out into the song and letting them take over. The crowd were waiting impatiently when the lights went down. It was her cue to walk on stage. The guys were at their instruments, playing the intro to the new single. Stef reached the mic as the beat kicked in, her words flowing easily. Everything sounded right. In the moment, she forgot everyone around her. Forgot about Jared sitting forward in his seat taking in the show, watching her move with the music, doubled over when the high notes required it.  
There was little time to chat between songs, Stef preferred it that way. It was easier to just get on with it.  
She hated the ‘hey there..*insert city* you’re the best.’  
Halfway through the set, she thanked the crowd for coming out, introduced the band and pulled out her acoustic guitar.  
‘This isn’t usual for me, I like to kick it full steam ahead for you guys. But, someone recently sang this song to me and it revived some old feelings. Despair and lost love. Sounds good, right?’ The crowd whooped and cheered.  
‘Ok, cool.’ Stef started right into the song, keeping the pace that Jared had set when he sang it to her on the floor of Jensen’s cabin the night they first made love.  
Burning soft skin of two  
Trying hard to let go of you  
Hoping it will do  
Pulled right out from underneath you  
She heard the crowd singing it along with her, her breath caught in her throat when she finished the song, pushing her guitar aside and holding up her hands in thanks to the fans.  
‘You know what, I don’t usually say this, but y’all ARE the fuckin’ best.’ 

Backstage, everyone was in high spirits. The whiskey was flowing and Stef was so buzzed. Misha was taking pictures of the band, wanting her to strike some ridiculous poses with Jensen and Jared.  
Several of the shots made it on to instagram. Jared and ‘the boys,’ each posted a picture with Stef, exclaiming about how great the show had been and how excited they were to be invited backstage.  
Stef even posted one with Misha, Jensen and Jared holding her up as she lay across them. There were so many comments on it, she just didn’t have the energy to read them.  
Back on the bus, the guys were continuing their little party in the ‘living area’ behind the driver. Jared had come back with Stef to have a chat before they had to go.  
Checking that no one was watching, Stef pulled him halfway into her tiny bunk, there was no way the both of them would fit in there but they managed to squeeze in, legs dangling out from behind the curtain. Giggling like teenagers, they made out for a while. Jared punctuating each kiss with how much he enjoyed the show. Eventually, after several phone calls from an increasingly pissed Jensen, Jared took his leave. Kissing her wrist to her shoulder and then giving her several kisses that made her head spin, he left.  
‘Stefanie’s got a boyfriend!’ One of the guys stuck his head out through the sliding door of the living area, he was so drunk he could barely stand.  
‘Shut the fuck up,’ Stef threw a pair of his balled up socks at him. ‘And clean up after your-damn-selves.’ 

The next day they were playing a much smaller venue, but the crowds were still coming out, thankfully.  
Stef had taken a moment to look at her tagged posts on social media. There were a few great shots taken the night before, she was incredibly grateful her tits didn’t pop out of her dress.  
‘Wow, you know J2?’ ‘OMG Jensen’ ‘OMG Jared’. Was how most of the comments were going. Several were suggesting she was fucking one of them, or all three.  
‘She sucks, her music sucks and she’s ugly.’ Charming. Stef often deleted the nasty ones, coz who wants to see them, right?  
There were more followers on all platforms, that was nice. More people to hear the music, she supposed.  
er heart skipped a beat on seeing a post on insta from Jared. It was a picture of them striking a ridiculous pose, his arm around her waist. They were doing their best blue steel. The second was a shot of him, Jensen and Misha heads together at the show and the third was Stef on stage, she couldn’t recall what part of the night it was.  
‘If anyone gets a chance to see this girl live, go see her. You rocked us last night, Stef. So proud of you.’ He added several love hearts.  
Misha commented, ‘get your hands off my girl, Jared.’  
Jared: ‘And how long do you know her that you think you can lay claim?’  
Jensen posted several laughing emojis, ‘as MJ said boys, ‘the girl is mine.’  
Stef liked each of the comments. Adding her own ‘I’d take all three of you, no problem.’ To which Jared added a sad face and a broken heart.  
Her phone began vibrating, the long stream of comments disappearing. Oscar’s name was flashing on screen.  
‘Hello, Oscar.’ Her voice was a little husky from the night before.  
‘There she is. I see your show was well received last night.’  
‘Oh?’ She feigned ignorance.  
‘There is a write up about it already, some fans of Supernatural are getting quite excited about it. You wouldn’t happen to know anyone from the show would you?’  
‘Maybe.’  
She heard Oscar sighing down the phone where there would usually be laughter.  
‘You better not be messing around with a married man, Effie.’  
‘Why would that be any of your fucking business, Oscar?’  
‘I thought as much, you won’t deny it either. I noticed something about you when you came down for Dar’s party.’  
‘You noticed what?’  
‘Well, don’t get me wrong you are always lovely but you were simply glowing when you arrived at the airport.’  
‘Oh shut up, you’re so full of crap.’  
‘Am I?’  
She supposed he wasn’t. But again, she didn’t want to tell him he was right.  
‘Yeah, your silence speaks volumes.’  
‘I’m a big girl, Oscar. I look out for myself. Always have.’  
The last two words stung him and she knew it. He shifted in his chair, she heard him clear his throat the way he always did, before he wanted to launch into a speech about how she was getting herself into trouble.  
’Before you start, because I know what you’re going to say!’ She warned, hearing him start to tell her to watch herself.  
‘I appreciate your concern, but I’m not getting myself into anything I haven’t thought about for many sleepless nights. We have...an agreement.’  
Oscar scoffed, ‘so you’re fucking a married man. That’s fine is it?’  
‘It is for us, Oscar. Please don’t judge me.’  
‘I can’t not judge you. What’s with you lately? You’re not really acting like yourself.’  
‘Hey, you told me I needed to loosen up a bit.’  
‘Loosening up a little means go out with your friends more and have some fun. Not start a relationship with a married guy. A famous married one at that. Jesus, Stef, you have to be more careful.’  
‘Oscar, I appreciate the concern.’  
‘That’s it? No fighting back?’  
‘I don’t want to fight, not with you. I can’t fight with you anymore.’  
Oscar was sighing again. ‘Promise me, you’ll be sensible. I can’t stand seeing you broken hearted.’  
‘Oh don’t start that shit again, please.’ Stef buried her face in the crook of her arm, laying across her bunk.  
‘I mean it, Stefanie. Don’t do that to yourself, you’re worth more than that. You’re more than a mistress.’  
‘I know that. And as I said, it works for both of us right now.’  
‘Yeah, yeah sure. You frustrate me so much, you know that?’  
‘I do. It’s why you love me though.’  
Perhaps she had chosen the wrong words, his voice which had been pleading was now just sad.  
‘Fuck sakes. I’m shaking my head right now, but you can’t see me.’  
Stef bit her nails, ‘yeah but I can imagine it, vividly. You still got that nice head of hair?’  
‘Yep, I’m shaving it off as soon as this movie is done.’  
‘I hate your bald head.’ Stef complained.  
‘I am doing it just to annoy you, and I will be sending pictures.’  
‘Ugh, delete me from your life please.’  
‘Never,’ he smiled a little, ‘I gotta go.’  
‘Later Oscar.’  
‘Goodbye, love.’


	11. Surrender

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Summary: A Jared Padalecki/OFC/Oscar isaac fiction.
> 
> Stef is a musician, recently gone solo. Happy with her life as a forever single person until Jared makes it his mission to get close to her.
> 
> Her ex, Oscar isn’t sure what to make of her new relationship. Should he step in or leave her be?
> 
> (For the purpose of this fiction, I have liberated some lyrics from various artists and their videos. This is fiction, with real people mentioned.)

‘And what was the inspiration for this new album, because it seems a far cry from your previous work.’ The DJ had been kind so far. She had spoken to him a dozen times over the phone but this was the first time she had met him in person. Sitting in the small studio, headphones set on ‘small’ but still too big for her head digging into her ears uncomfortably. 

‘Yeah, it’s definitely a heavier sound. Lyrically, it’s not all too far from the last album. As you grow a little older you learn so much about yourself. This time around I looked back at everything that has happened. I’m a single woman living alone now.’ ‘Happily,’ she interjected as the DJ tried to exclaim his disbelief. 

‘I’m happily living by myself WITH myself, I suppose. You know the human in you will always have something to pine for from your past.’

‘So you’re saying a happier person wrote these lyrics?’ He held the album up for her to see. 

‘Oddly, yeah. No matter how happy we are in life, there is always a niggle there, something will be tugging on your sleeve you know?’

‘I get you. For those that don’t know, I’m talking to Stefanie James, who’s new album dropped this week and it is sha-mazing.’

Stef laughed. ‘Never has anyone described it like that, thank you.’ They laughed together for a moment before he started taking questions sent by text. 

‘We have one here about your next video, it’s coming out today?’

‘Yes, the second part to Walk Into The Fire.’

‘Aptly named Twin Flames,’ he explained for listeners.

Stef reminded herself not just to nod, but agree verbally. 

‘Well, this person is asking if the man/demon in the video is who we think it is?’

Stef groaned, ‘it’s not even out yet and people know who it is.’

‘Jared Padalecki, of Supernatural fame.’ The DJ announced. It was ok at this stage. The label wanted the information out there.

Stef agreed with a simple ‘mmhm.’

‘So how did that come about then? The listeners are dying to know.’

‘He heard I was doing a video through some people I had worked with previously.’

‘Oh so he was a fan?’

‘He was, actually. So he got in touch with my people to see if he could be involved.’

‘How did he hear about it, like how would that come up in a conversation.’

Stef laughed, she loved talking about Jared. ‘We were looking for someone ‘large and imposing’ the idea being that he is a part of me that I’m running away from.

‘He is large and imposing.’ The DJ agreed.

‘But a hell of a nice guy. We have become good friends since, he’s truly a great person. He came out to a show with his friends when we were in Texas.’

‘I can’t wait to see the new video, we are going to play Twin Flames now.’

As the song played on in the background, Stef checked her phone that had been buzzing away in her pocket.

Jared: Hey you’re on the radio, I’m listening

Stef: Stalker.

Jared: Am not…:) You’re talking about ME, I gotta hear how great I am.

P.S. New song is great. 

‘Is that Jared texting you right now?’ The DJ mused when the song finished.

‘Yes, he said he loves hearing about how great he is.’

‘Another listener asks if he’s a good kisser?’

Stef swallowed, ‘wtf?’ she thought, then flushed, realising the new video trailer had a flash of them pretending to make out.

‘Oh God, that wasn’t a kiss.’ She blushed furiously.

‘So you don’t know is the answer.’

‘Yeah I don’t know,’ she lied. ‘Probably, if he looks like that he’s gotta be a great kisser.’

‘That’s your final answer.’

‘Yes.’ 

‘So back to you, coz never mind about that hunk, you are in the hot seat right now. What are your hopes for the new albums. Who would you like to touch with it?’

Stef snorted a laugh, ‘who would I physically touch with it?’

‘Yes, who would you assault with the new album.’ 

‘Ok, if I could, I would give my drummer Evan a paper cut with the booklet because he has been posting awful pictures of me all through this tour on social media.’

‘I saw!’ The DJ exclaimed. ‘You with how many sausages in your mouth?’

‘Oh god, that was a dare, I can’t trust those guys.’

‘And I suppose I would touch Jared nicely with it. Since he was such a good sport with the videos we shot. I can think of lots of people I could touch with the new album, but we don’t have all day.’

‘A text just came in to say ‘your lyrics have saved me.’ What do you think of that?’

Stef raised her eyebrows, ‘uhhhhhh, I would say I’m glad. It’s a wonderful feeling when you put on paper your thoughts and people like it and people FEEL what you feel, you know? Showing vulnerability and emotion is a strength and that’s what I’ve always wanted to tell people with my music.’

‘Preach it sister. We will all be praying at Church Stefanie by the looks of this new artwork. For the people at home who can’t see what I’m holding, it’s the lovely Stef in what looks like a bespoke headdress covering almost half of her face and a wonderful flowing gown, surrounded by what looks like druids? Is that right?’

‘I dunno,’ Stef replied ‘people standing around me summoning the gods of good music, hoping they throw me a bone.’

‘Well it looks great, thanks for coming in.’

‘Thanks for having me.’

Jared: Stop talking about me.

Stef: I will and you won’t like it.

Jared: True. You having fun?

Stef: Lots. 

Jared: Where the fuck are you right now anyway?

Stef: New York. 

Jared: You gonna wear that dress for the show tonight? 

Stef: Nah, I’m wearing something smaller and tighter.

A short video came through from Jared rubbing his nipples through his shirt, pretending to orgasm.

Stef sent one back of her licking her lips. 

Jared: I miss your stoopid face

Stef: I’ll be home before you know it.

Realising that ‘home’ was 2,000 miles away from where he lived with his family gave her pause. She was in New York, where Oscar was currently living. Jared lived closer to her than Oscar did and both were what felt like a million miles away.

Sitting in the hotel lobby by herself, she decided to order a G&T. There wasn’t anyone else in the bar, so she curled up in a comfortable armchair away from the world. It got her thinking about how far away she was from everybody. Her parents had passed and she wasn’t close to any other family. She and Oscar had wanted to live in Canada, living in their own world surrounded by trees and mountains. It seemed perfect when they were younger. Then everything went to shit. Stef found him with another woman just as his acting career was taking off, so she kicked him out. 

Finding the perfect home for her and Darius far enough away from everything she had grown up with, in a different country, leaving Oscar behind. Now Darius was gone too. 

She lay her head back on the chair and sniffed, feeling a little alone. Grateful for everything she had, she was happy. But something was missing. 

Stef never allowed her to think of herself as one part, she never felt like someones ‘other half.’ She was complete as herself. 

Being with Jared was raising a lot of emotions she had kept hidden for a long time. It would be typical of her to rip them out root and stem as soon as they dared peek out of the soil. 

Her phone beeped, making her jump a little. ‘Get a grip, Stef.’ She mumbled.

Jared: I wanna see you soon. Do you think we can be in the same place at the same time in the next few days?

Stef sighed heavily, sending him on a list of all the towns she would be in within the next week.

‘Drinking early?’ 

Stef looked up from her phone to see Oscar standing over her, a smile on his face.

‘Oscar! What the hell are you doing here?’

‘You’re in New York and you don’t want to spend every minute of it with me? I’m upset!’ He pulled her to her feet and wrapped her in the tightest hug he could manage. 

It was exactly what she needed, she clung to him. 

‘You ok? I thought I’d surprise you.’

‘It’s a great surprise.’ Stef assured him, slapping the peak of his cap over his face. 

‘Stop it, woman. Two seconds and already you’re making me regret coming here.’

‘Lies.’

‘Yeah, whatever.’

Oscar came back from the bar with quite a large beer for himself and another G&T for Stef.

‘Cheers to you and your success.’ They clinked glasses and drank, each keeping an eye on the other.

‘What’s new?’ He asked, still eyeing her curiously.

‘Nothing since the last time I saw you.’ She sipped the ice cold drink, shivering slightly.

‘You could say nothing new since the last time we spoke. Everything has changed since the last time we saw each other.’ Oscar leaned back in his chair, crossing his legs in front of him.

Smug bastard, Stef thought, shaking her head at him. Sure, the last time they met, they slept together for the first time in years and they hadn’t mentioned it since. 

‘Well then, I don’t want to talk about it.’

Oscar sniffed. ‘Fine.’

‘I listened to your interview.’ He said softly, chewing his lip.

‘I’ve done so many over the last month, I’m afraid I’m starting to sound like a robot.’

‘Nah, you wouldn’t, you ramble too much.’

‘Do not!’ Stef shot him a look, he grinned in reply.

The following silence was interrupted by her phone notifications.

Jared: None of those work for me, how about I fly out to New York to meet you?

Stef replied frantically ‘Wow when can you come?’

Typing typing

‘Earth to Stef.’

‘Sorry, what?’

‘Jesus, you are completely in love, aren’t you?’ He half sneered, half laughed.

‘No. I’m not.’ Stef felt herself getting angry. ‘I hate it when you smirk at me like that. Stop it.’

Oscar sighed heavily. ‘Sorry. Alright? Can we just have a nice evening. As friends.’

‘Sure.’ Stef said, eyeing her phone to see what Jared replied.

Jared: I come every time you touch my penis.

‘Oh for fuck sakes.’ 

Oscar frowned at her but didn’t say anything

Jared: I’ll be there tomorrow afternoon. 

Stef: Can’t wait.

Her stomach flipped in excitement, feeling her palms getting a little sweaty, she rubbed them down her legs, leaning over and placing her head between her knees. Oscar leaned over the gap between them and placed a hand gently on the back of her head.

‘You ok, Effie? Sorry if I’m talking out of turn. I don’t mean to.’

‘It’s not you.’ Her response muffled.

Toying with the clasp of her necklace, he didn’t say anything else. If she wanted to share, she would. He could never force anything from her. She gave what she wanted to give. 

‘You hungry? I have a nice place booked for dinner later, you’ll love it.’ Oscar settled back in his seat.

‘I’m so hungry.’ 

‘You been eating ok on the road?’ 

She looked up at him, into those big brown eyes she had loved so much, almost a lifetime ago.

‘No. It’s awful. Every time I go on tour I remember why I don’t like it.’

‘Yeah, but every time you do it you get more famous, eventually you’ll be flying in a private jet.’ 

‘Oh I hope not!’ She scoffed, feeling her mood rising again. ‘I’d hate to be as famous as you,’ Reaching up she took the cap off his head in a swift movement, putting it on her own head.

‘You didn’t shave off your hair!’ 

‘Nah, I didn’t want to piss you off. I seem to be walking a fine line lately.’

Stef decided not to let him bait her, she just flicked the cap down over her eyes and continued sipping her drink. 

‘So…Darius sent me a picture earlier.’ Oscar pulled his phone from his pocket, flicking through his gallery, showing her a selfie of a very pretty girl with her son. 

‘Holy shit, is that…’

‘The lovely girl from the party? Yep, she’s his girlfriend now.’

‘That’s so cute,’ Stef started chewing her lip. ‘You did tell him not to make us grandparents, right? I still have a lot of good-boob years to use up before I can be called Grandma.’

Oscar started laughing, seeing the look on her face was priceless. ‘Don’t worry about it, if we are grandparents, so what, it’ll be great.’

‘Would it? You want more children running around? We only got rid of ours.’ 

Oscar nodded, ‘I’d love more kids.’

‘Really? Stef blinked, surprised. 

‘Yeah. But I’m not gonna worry about it. If it happens it happens.’

‘Twenty years after the last one, that’ll be a shock to the system.’ Stef drained her glass, feeling the alcohol going to her head.

‘Are you fit for another?’ He pointed at her empty glass.

‘Go on then, I’ll let you spoil me for an evening.’

Oscar walked to the bar to order the drinks, turning his head to watch her over his shoulder. She was smiling down at her phone, texting Jared. He wondered if she ever smiled like that when she text him. 

He thought back to Darius’s party, after they had danced together. Oscar couldn’t help but look at Stef and wonder what their life would be like now if he hadn’t fallen into the grip of the other woman. Darius clapped him on the back to get his attention. He was taller than Oscar by a few inches, it was strange for him to look up at him rather than look down. His eyes were like his mothers, but the rest of him was Oscar.

‘Dad, did you ever think of asking mom out?’ 

Oscar opened his mouth and closed it again, feeling like a fish trying to gulp water on dry land. 

‘Ask her out? Why?’ He asked, feeling sheepish.

‘If I were looking at a girl like that, I’d ask her out.’ 

‘Yeah but it’s your mom, we aren’t together anymore.’

‘I know, idiot. You two look at each other when you think the other isn’t looking. It’s stupid. Get over it and ask her out. I won’t even be weird about it.’

Oscar nodded, thinking that maybe she would say yes. 

Looking at her now, there wasn’t a chance in hell. Not since Jared had wormed his way into her life. 

He hadn’t seen Stef happy like this in a long time, he made his choice to just be happy for her.


	12. Steady As We Burn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Summary: A Jared Padalecki/OFC fiction.
> 
> Stef is a musician, recently gone solo. Happy with her life as a forever single person until Jared makes it his mission to get close to her. (For the purpose of this fiction, I have liberated some lyrics from various artists and their videos. This is fiction, with real people mentioned.) Married Jared, single Oscar!
> 
> Chapter warnings: Smut, all of it (NSFW)

Swinging the hotel door open with a bang, she was wrestled into the room by a giant with too many hands.   
‘I missed you, I missed you, I missed you.’ He exclaimed, kissing every available part of her face and neck.  
She answered with giggles, unable to get any words out, allowing him to continue ravaging her.  
The door clicked shut and a suitcase falls over. Still he couldn’t get enough of kisses.   
‘You know they say you shouldn’t tell someone you missed them,’ Stef breathed, beginning to nuzzle his ear as she whispered, placing a kiss on his sweet spot, she could feel him turn to jelly. ‘It reminds them they didn’t miss you.’  
Jared pulled away with a frown, his hair mussed. ‘You didn’t miss me?’ His voice high pitched. Stef giggled, ‘of course I did, I just need you to focus for a minute, your stubble is going to give me a rash.’   
Jared ducked down and placed more kisses on her neck, pausing on one spot to suck the flesh gently between his teeth, now it was her turn to weaken in his grasp.  
After a few moments of nibbling and sucking along her collarbone, he stood to his full height, complete with a shit eating grin. Jared turned her toward the mirror above the dresser.  
‘Jared, I am going to kill you.’ She gasped, pulling her shirt aside, seeing the trail of hickeys he had just made.   
‘How will you kill me this time?’ He snaked his hands down her ribs, resting them on her hips. Nose in her hair, breathing in her scent, he felt so full of her, he smiled, closing his eyes, just feeling her there with him, finally.  
‘I think I’ll sit on you til you die.’  
Stef felt the rumble of laughter behind her, he seemed a little dopey now.   
‘Tired?’  
‘Mmmm’ he answered, ‘maybe a little lie down.’ He grabbed her arms and pulled her toward the bed. Kicking off his shoes and throwing his jacket towards a chair in the corner, missing it entirely.  
Laying facing each other, he traced his fingers across her cheek, resting on her lips. ‘You look tired too.’ He commented.   
‘Touring is hard on the body and the soul.’ Stef lamented, feeling a smile creeping onto her face. He looked so innocent when he was sleepy like this, she thought.   
‘Come closer, I want to fall asleep with you,’ Jared nestled his nose into the crook of her neck, arms wrapped around her.   
‘You came all this way, to snuggle and nap.’ Stef felt her eyelids getting heavier. A contented sleep washing over her.

Waking an hour later to Jared rolling off the bed and closing the bathroom door quietly behind him. Rubbing her eyes, she checked the time. There wasn’t a show today, but she had planned to get out and see a bit more of the city, that was before Jared had decided to show up but she definitely didn’t mind the distraction.  
Checking her phone, she saw that Darius had text her a few updates about his new girlfriend. Oscar hadn’t text, she knew he wouldn’t. They had a few too many drinks last night and having walked her back to the hotel, he gave her a quick kiss on the cheek and stumbled off to get a cab. She hoped he had gotten back home ok. Sighing, she decided to text him that same thing.  
Jared appeared, looking thoroughly crumpled from his nap.  
‘Hey pretty girl, you ok?’  
‘Definitely,’ she moved over toward him giving a kiss before shimmying from the bed toward the bathroom, Jared made grabby hands toward her ass as she ran.   
‘I need to shower,’ Jared leaned against the door frame, shirtless, jeans hanging below his waist.  
‘Me too, as it turns out. Maybe we should save some water.’ Stef licked her lips, hooking her fingers into the band of his jeans and pulling him toward her.  
‘Is this shower gonna make us clean or dirtier?’ Jared helped remove her shirt, raising a hand to brush against her nipple that was standing to attention under her lacy bra. ‘Pink this time?’  
Stef stood on her tip toes to reach his lips, he didn’t bend down to her like he usually did. He seemed to like the idea of her struggling.   
‘Short.’ Jared said, placing his hands on her ass and lifting her. Stef wrapped her legs around his waist, feeling the bulge pressing against her core. She started grinding on it as best she could.  
‘Damn, girl. Do you ever stop?’  
‘I can’t help it, there is something about you that makes me want you so bad.’

Under the hotter than hot spray of water, Stef lathered up her hair while Jared watched, he hadn’t stepped into the shower, instead he decided to sit on the edge of the bath, cock in hand, stroking himself.   
‘You could join me,’ she suggested. Steam was filling up the room fast.  
‘Oh baby, I got the best view right now.’   
She could see the intensity of his gaze through his curtains of hair.  
Stef loosened the shower head and used the hose to get rid of the last of the suds. Bending down a little to clean her lower half, giving him a perfect eyeful.  
She heard his sharp intake of breath, but he didn’t touch her. Her skin was screaming for his hands to be on her.   
Pouting, she stood to face him.   
‘Don’t give me that face, sweet girl. I’ll join you when I’m ready.’   
Stef gave him a face that she knew meant punishment, she wouldn’t mind him throwing her over his knee right now.   
Bracing herself against the cold tiles, Stef brought the shower head to her folds.  
Jared raised his brows in surprise. Good, she thought, maybe this will tease him enough for him to get his ass into the shower.   
Using her free hand, she slid a finger inside, then another. Moving them in and out gently, watching Jared, his eyes couldn’t look away from what she was doing.  
His cock was weeping now, holding it tight in his fist.   
It worked. He stood to join her, grabbing the hose from her hand, he placed it back on the hook and turned her so she was facing the wall, wincing when her hot flesh hit the tiles.   
The scalding water was running over her ass as he brought a hand down in a sharp crack.   
Stef cried out with the sudden sharp pain, bucking her hips back towards him.  
‘You fucking like that don’t you?’  
Stef nodded, chewing her bottom lip so the moans wouldn’t escape.  
Another slap on the other cheek. Oh God, this was good. His hand came down on her ass cheek again and again, stopping only to rub the skin to stop it tingling.   
Stef reached between her legs, gripping her clit between her two fingers.   
‘Touching yourself while I punish you for touching yourself. You’re quite a brat, did you know that?’ Jared pressed his cock against her ass. ‘Do you know how much you’re turning me on right now?’ He gritted his teeth, grabbing a handful of her wet hair. Her head wrenched sideways so he could pull her chin toward him before taking her mouth with his. Tongue and teeth and no air. Stef gasped when he let her go.   
‘Get out of the shower and wait for me outside.’  
Stef did as she was told, feeling the slick between her legs as she grabbed a towel and began drying herself outside the bathroom.  
When Jared appeared he was still wet and still very, very hard.   
There was a fire in his eyes, gone was the man who had greeted her with hands and smiles and kisses. Here stood a man that was demanding she open herself up and let him plunge in to take everything she had to give.   
He was again watching her while she opened the towel, his eyes drinking her in. Licking his lips as he saw her bring her hand between her legs. A soft moan coming from her lips as she began getting herself off. This wasn’t a movement to get ready for him, she was going to cum, he knew.   
He needed her, but he didn’t want to take this moment away from her. She moaned again while he started touching himself, his large hand wrapping around his cock, his movements getting faster now watching her beginning to shake.   
When his name left her lips and she was throwing her head back, he moved in and pushed himself inside her.  
He was rutting into her with such force, the bed shifted under her. Grabbing at the sheets around her, she cried aloud. Thrusting as if he had never fucked before, he would pull out a little before slamming back into her again.   
Stef grabbed a handful of his hair and tugged him down. He roared as he came. She was gasping beneath him, seeing that she was still moving her hips against his, he brought his hand between them.  
‘Let go of me,’ he ordered.   
His fingers pressed down hard on her clitoris, his face inches from hers as she cried out and tightened around him. Riding out her orgasm, she tried to move away from him, his fingers still playing across her sensitive bud.   
‘Oh god, Jared, please stop, please stop.’  
But he kept up the pace he started, pulling another orgasm from her. Stef couldn’t breathe, the intensity was too much. When he pulled out of her, she took an intake of breath. Laughing into the shock of it. Never before had she had two orgasms in a row.   
Jared lay next to her, wrapping a long arm around her, stroking her skin as she came back down.  
‘You’re cold.’ He said. ‘Come on, get dressed.’ With shaky hands, Stef managed drag a hoodie over her head, folding her arms across her body. A desperate need to pee had her back in the steamy bathroom. She probably needed another shower after that. Holy cow did that man make her feel everything all at once.   
‘Are we doing anything today?’ Jared was wearing a pair of sweatpants when she came back to the bed.   
‘I was going to go sight seeing, but I got some better things to look at today.’ Stef bit her lip, watching him scroll through his phone, his biceps bulging as he held himself up on his elbows. He gave her a sly grin and motioned for her to join him.  
Laying next to him in silence as he scrolled and leaned in every so often to place a kiss on her forehead.   
‘Have you always been like that in bed?’ Stef mused.  
‘Like what?’  
‘Commanding.’   
Jared rubbed his nose into his hand, sneezing loudly. ‘Sorry. No. I like it though.’ He threw the phone down and lay on his side, stroking his hand against the inside of her thigh.   
‘You always liked being told what to do? And if you say you don’t like it I won’t believe you.’  
‘I love it, there’s something about your demeanour, it changes so quickly and I’m a quivering mess.’  
Jared ran his hand a little higher on her leg, tracing patterns on her skin.  
‘Would you let me take complete control sometime?’  
‘Like a full on dom?’ Stef bit her lip, the thought alone bringing back the white hot need between her legs.  
‘Well, no not that. Or maybe that I’m not sure, I don’t have any experience with it.’ He laughed, a little embarrassed.  
‘I’m surprised, this is new for you?’  
‘Yeah. My wife, she doesn’t like rough play. At all.’ He lay his chin against her shoulder, rubbing the stubble against her.   
‘And you like it.’ Stef tried to wriggle away from him, ‘you’re hurting me with your chin.’ Giggles taking over.  
‘I’m sorry, but I like seeing you squirm.’ Rolling over her and pinning her beneath him.   
‘I do like it,’ he continued. ‘I tried it, after we did the video. She wasn’t into it.’ He shrugged.   
‘But!’ Jared placed his forearms alongside her head, ‘I have to confess. It riled me up quite a bit, me with my hand around your neck. I never thought something like that could be such turn on. You trusted that I wouldn’t hurt you.’  
Stef agreed with a hmm sound, loving the weight of him on her.   
‘I had a serious amount of wanks that week.’   
Stef burst into a fit of laughter.   
‘What? Hey, you’re not meant to laugh at my confessions.’ His dimples appearing as he grinned wider at her. The vibrations of her laughter causing him to laugh too.  
‘I’m sorry, baby. The idea of it is wonderful. I love the fact that you had to do it. I did it too.’  
‘Oh you did?’  
‘Hell yeah.’ Her tongue was in his mouth before he had a chance to answer her. Kissing like they were teenagers again, hands everywhere.   
A rumble from her stomach brought them back to reality.   
‘You wanna go get some food?’  
Stef nodded, still kissing him.   
‘Get dressed then, I don’t want anyone else seeing that ass.’   
‘Oh, only you get to see it?’  
Jared threw her a glance, pouting, ’Damn straight.’


	13. Lay Me Down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Summary: A Jared Padalecki/OFC/Oscar Isaac fiction.
> 
> Stef is a musician, recently gone solo. Happy with her life as a forever single person until Jared makes it his mission to get close to her.   
> Her ex, Oscar isn’t sure what to make of her new relationship. Should he step in or leave her be?  
> (For the purpose of this fiction, I have liberated some lyrics from various artists and their videos. This is fiction, with real people mentioned.) Married Jared, single Oscar! 
> 
> Chapter warnings: Smut, all of it (NSFW)
> 
> Chapter WC: 2,493

Lunch in New York with Jared. That was a sentence Stef never thought she would say, even in her head.  
He sat opposite her, silent and eating but glancing at her and smiling when he could.   
Stef had finished a few minutes before, she was a quick eater.   
Sipping a peppermint tea, she was tapping out a song with her free hand on the wooden table.  
‘Did you know you get antsy when you’re in public?’ Jared stuffed another forkful of food into his mouth.  
‘I do not. I’m just going through the show in my head.’  
‘You’ve done it more than a dozen times in the last few weeks, I know you have it down by now.’   
‘I change it up every couple of shows. What if there is someone in the crowd that saw me last week?’ Stef shrugged. ‘Gotta be giving people a good show, they are paying for it.’  
She could see his dimples even while his mouth was behind a glass of water. ‘So damn thirsty. I must have worked up a sweat a bit earlier.’  
Stef bit the inside of her cheek so she wouldn’t laugh, it was no use. He kept waggling his eyebrows at her.  
‘You did,’ she whispered, leaning toward him. Wishing she could kiss him. But not here, not in public. Not your boyfriend, she reminded herself.  
‘Can you finish up so we can get back to the hotel?’ Stef frowned.  
‘You ok?’  
‘I’m perfectly fine,’ Stef lowered her voice ‘I just really want to suck your cock right now.’   
Jared gulped, his fork clattering onto his plate just as someone came to the table. ‘Oh my god, you’re Jared Padalecki.’  
Stef watched as he smiled, turning toward them, regular Jared gone. Famous Jared took over completely, he was genuine and excited to meet new people. He signed a napkin and they were on their way, all smiles.   
‘Sorry.’ He said.   
‘It’s not even weird for you anymore, is it?’  
‘Not at all. I can’t go anywhere without being recognised. It’s fine though, comes with the territory.’  
‘They didn’t recognise me.’ Stef pouted, leaning her elbows onto the table.   
‘Now why would that be? A beautiful woman like you is noticed everywhere. I have seen several people checking you out already today.’  
‘They were checking you out, Jared.’ Stef winked, ‘plus, I’m invisible. And I like it that way.’  
‘How have you managed that? You’re a successful singer, you have dated famous people....’  
‘I hate the idea of fame, you know. That’s why I’m not ‘famous’. She air quoted. Jared scoffed.  
‘I’m happy I wasn’t recognised, I’m just playing.’   
‘Well, you’ll have to live with people recognising me, so it may happen to you too. Just so you know.’ Jared was putting on his jacket.  
Stef nodded in agreement, if that was a part of being ‘the other woman’, she would deal with it.  
‘Lets go.’ Jared was rushing out the door, Stef a few paces behind him.   
‘Oh crap,’ he said, turning the corner, in the opposite direction to the hotel.  
‘What’s up?’ Stef hurried to keep up with him.  
‘I think it’s paparazzi. It may not be. Just keep walking.’  
Stef wished she still had Oscar’s baseball cap from the day before. If they were being photographed, she hoped she didn’t have food on her shirt.   
After a few blocks, there wasn’t anyone behind them.   
‘Sorry about that, how about we get a cab back to the hotel?’  
Stef nodded, hoping against hope he was just being paranoid.

****  
Jared dug his fingers into her shoulders. ‘Damn that feels good.’ Stef groaned.  
‘You’re really tight, you need to relax for a bit.’  
‘Relax? What is that word? Please explain that to my brain.’ Stef took a sip from her glass of wine.   
Jared was sitting up against the headboard on the bed, Stef sat between his legs, flicking through the tv channels, not settling on anything but needing the distraction.  
‘You get anxious on tour?’  
‘I do. You’d think I would be used to it by now.’  
Stef’s phone starting vibrating on the dresser. She grumbled, getting off the bed to check it. Evan.  
‘Hey dude.’   
Evan sounded like he was out of breath, ‘where are you Stef? You not coming out tonight?’  
Fuck.  
It was his birthday. She had told him they would meet a bar across town.   
‘I wasn’t feeling too good, sorry. A friend turned up and we are just so tired.’  
‘Is it the tall friend?’ Evan sounded drunk already.  
‘Yes, and shut your mouth about it.’  
‘You bet sister. Enjoy your lame night in.’  
‘Happy birthday!’ Stef managed to say before he hung up. Turning to Jared, who was looking back at her with an apology ready to tumble out.  
‘I forgot about his birthday, but he’s drunk so he doesn’t mind. I’ll make it up to him tomorrow when he is dying of a hangover. I’ll take care of him.’  
‘Mother hen,’ Jared smiled, pulling her toward him. Their lips met and the world was quiet again.   
Stef ran her hand along his cheek, the coarse stubble tickling her palm.  
‘You gonna shave or let it grow out,’ Stef crawled into his lap. Jared’s hands rested on her hips, pushing her down to grind against him. Humming with the sensation, he reached up and pulled the hair tie from her ponytail. ‘You like beards?’  
‘I fucking love beards,’ Stef nibbled his ear, licking down the lobe, careful to avoid the sweet spot, she didn’t want him too excited just yet.   
‘Then I will let it grow out a little.’   
Jared rubbed his nose gently along hers. Closing his eyes and smiling.   
‘Hey Jared.’ Stef saw him peeking at her.  
‘What?’  
‘You look like a cyclops when our eyes are this close.’  
A hearty laugh burst from him, ‘what the fuck?’ His body shook while the laughed, Stef threw her head back, letting her hair fall onto the bed behind her. Jared took the opportunity to grab her boobs and squeeze them together, putting his mouth into her cleavage.  
She had never had big breasts and in Jared’s hands, they were quite small.  
As if he was reading her mind, he said ‘You have the cutest tits,’ between kisses and gentle bites at the skin.   
Stef giggled, ‘Thanks, I guess.’  
‘They’re awesome.’ Jared was ripping her shirt over her head. Feeling thoroughly relaxed now with a glass of wine in her belly and Jared hands on her. She sat in his lap while he licked and sucked at her chest, her hands running through his soft hair. When he looked up at her finally, his eyes were glazed over, a smile on his lips. ‘You ok?’  
‘I’m completely at your mercy.’ Stef took a deep satisfied breath and grabbed the back of Jared’s t-shirt, he tugged it over his head and ran his hands along her thighs.   
‘At my mercy?’ He cocked an eyebrow at her.   
Stef nodded.   
‘Ok then,’ he said, softly. ‘Stand up.’  
When she stood up, shakily, Jared held on to both of her legs. Her jeans were pulled down to her ankles. Stepping out of them she moved to take off her thong.   
’Leave it on.’ Jared held one of her thighs and moved her forward, placing a hand over her mound.   
Stef bit her lip in anticipation. Jared’s nose was nuzzling into her. Nipping at her through the material. His hands were everywhere, on her hips, her ass, her legs.   
Grabbing hold of her ass, he buried his face between her legs.   
Stef cried out, looking for something to hold onto. Grabbing hold of his hair, hoping she wouldn’t topple over. But his hands were keeping her still, his teeth were on her clitoris, his tongue lapping at it lazily. The sensation was torturous.   
‘Move your leg,’ he was already grabbing her knee, throwing it over his shoulder. She could at least lean against him now, her hand still in his hair for balance.   
Jared pushed the material of her thong aside, holding the string in his fingers digging into her ass.   
His tongue was everywhere, slurping and licking at her as if he hadn’t eaten in days. He was so hungry for her.   
He would glance up at her, seeing her face flushed, mouth open a little. Her eyes scrunched closed. It was a sign she was ready to cum.   
It happened quicker than he thought, for the first time in her life, she orgasmed standing up, her knees shook and he held her tighter, drinking her up, his tongue inside her folds, nose rubbing against her clitoris. He loved the feeling of her coming undone on his mouth.   
Sliding down slowly, Stef felt boneless. She was a mess. Jared laid her down on the pillow, seeing she was about to fall asleep in her bliss.   
‘What is it with you always wanting to please me?’ She groped for him, wanting him to lay close to her.   
‘It’s all about you baby.’  
‘Can we make it about you now?’   
‘In a little bit, lay back and enjoy this.’  
Jared ran a hand along her tummy, it tickled but she liked it. He paused over the faded stretch marks. He pressed his lips lightly against them, running down to the front of her thighs.  
‘What are you doing?’ She whispered.   
‘Kissing you.’  
Stef, satisfied with that answer, brought her arms up over her head and sighed. She could smell his cologne on her skin.   
‘Did you ever think of having more children?’   
After a moment she answered, ‘No. I was too young having Darius, I spent my life so far raising him. I didn’t have time for much else aside from my music.’  
‘You were happy with that?’  
‘More than happy, why?’  
‘Just wondering.’  
Her mind went back to Oscar the night before, he wanted more children. She wondered if he had a girlfriend. He never talked about it when he did.   
’My son has a girlfriend, I could be a grandmother.’  
‘Oh that would be hilarious,’ Jared brushed his lips against her navel, nudging the piercing with his nose.   
‘Oscar had the same reaction. I worry about this!’ Stef flicked his ear.  
Jared grabbed her hand, ‘ouch,’ he widened his eyes at her. ‘You being a grandma would be the cutest thing.’  
‘No!’ Stef protested, covering her face with her arm. ‘I need support, I’m not ready for this.’  
‘He’s not having a baby is he?’ Jared moved the arm away from her face.  
‘No,’ she grumbled.   
‘Then, stop thinking about it. Don’t worry about things that aren’t happening right now.’  
‘You’ll understand when your kids are grown.’  
‘When my kids are 20 I’ll be in my fifties.’  
Stef frowned. Jared thought he said the wrong thing, he didn’t like feeling she might think that he was judging her.   
‘I wasn’t a teen mom,’ he said, sticking out his bottom lip. It made her laugh.  
‘Well, maybe now I get to enjoy myself, without having to worry TOO much about someone else. It’s strange, all I’ve done is care for someone else.’  
Jared moved back up the bed and lay next to her. ‘You’re a great mom, you raised him good. From what you’ve told me about him, he’s smart and he has a good head on his shoulders.’  
Stef shrugged, ‘I hope. He’s a good kid....man...holy crap, I remember the day he was born like it was yesterday. I went into labour when my friends were doing their finals. I hated school anyway so I was kinda glad I didn’t have to finish.’  
Jared listened quietly.  
‘He arrived at 7:30pm, on the dot. He was so small and angry, a full head of black hair, like his daddy.’  
‘Was he there?’ Jared didn’t want to say Oscar's name, as if he knew him.   
‘He was. He stuck with me through it all, it was a little scary for both of us. Once he held Darius though, he was the calmest man I’d ever seen. He took to it so quick. Oscar got the diapers changed, the puke cleaned up. He took the night shift while I rested. I couldn’t have gotten a better partner to do it all with.’  
‘You know how it is,’ she turned to look at Jared, his eyes on her mouth when she spoke. ‘Everything stinks and everything is dirty all the time.’   
‘Why the name Darius?’ He asked eventually, stroking her hair away from her forehead.  
‘I just always liked it. It seemed like a perfect name for him. If he was a girl he would have been Astrid. I had an obsession with that name for a while.’  
‘It’s pretty,’ Jared offered.   
‘You’re pretty, actually.’ He kissed her nose, her cheeks. Placing a kiss on her lips before pulling back and watching her.   
’Stop.’  
‘What, stop kissing you?’  
‘Stop complimenting me.’  
‘You don’t like it?’  
‘Everybody likes a compliment, I don’t want you to think you have to say nice things to me all the time. I’m already naked and in bed with you.’ Stef rolled onto her side to face him, propping herself up on her elbows.  
‘I say it coz it needs to be said. I won’t keep quiet if something comes into my head and it’ll make you smile. You’re beautiful and I’ll tell you as often as I think it.’  
‘Ok then.’ Stef agreed, if he wanted to do it why not. She wanted to be spoiled with compliments and kisses. It didn’t happen a lot.

In the quiet moments that followed, they looked at each other, drinking in the features they wanted to keep with them. He touched the freckles across her nose. And that one freckle on the side of her mouth he liked so much. There was only hours left before Stef had to go back on the road. Jared wished he could hit pause and stay with her until well after dawn. But he knew the clock was ticking down.   
Stef lay on her stomach, hands gripping the sheets while he lay over her, his legs wrapped around hers. It was lazy and hot, he had one arm under her shoulder, the other gripping her ass, pushing the flesh aside so he could see himself entering her and pulling out. Her moans were setting him on fire, the white heat of need building in him. It wouldn’t be stopped. Holding her down with everything he had, whispering to her how good she was taking it, how good it felt being inside her. They panted together, sloppy kisses when he could reach her mouth. She cried out and twitched beneath him, clamping around him, holding him there with her. Jared placed kisses across her shoulders after his release. It was too perfect. Their bodies fit together so well. They slept, holding on to each other. Like the wolves were coming to tear them apart.


	14. Morning After You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Summary: A Jared Padalecki/OFC/Oscar Isaac fiction.
> 
> Stef is a musician, recently gone solo. Happy with her life as a forever single person until Jared makes it his mission to get close to her.  
> Her ex, Oscar isn’t sure what to make of her new relationship. Should he step in or leave her be?  
> (For the purpose of this fiction, I have liberated some lyrics from various artists and their videos. This is fiction, with real people mentioned.) Married Jared, single Oscar!
> 
> Chapter warnings: Cursing

You doubt and you're desperate, you wear both your cross and your hammer.

Reactions to Twin Flames had been better than she could have ever imagined. The distraction of Jared visiting kept her away from the anxieties of releasing another new song. He had left an hour before the bus pulled away, holding her face in his hands, kissing her like he would never see her again. She missed him already. Already pining for him. He felt the same.

As she made her way across state lines, texts were coming through from everybody she knew.

**Jared:** I miss you so much. I keep watching this video, wishing we were making it all over again.

**Stef:** Making the video or making love

**Jared:** Both :) 

**Claire:** My god, that video is hawt. Brendan misses you, he’s being a douche rn.

**Darius:** Mom, that video is amazing, I’m glad I didn’t have to see dad doing those things to you though. Warn me if the next one will be that graphic pls.

**Oscar:** I was not expecting the video to be like that. It’s both beautiful and confusing. 

Stef rolled her eyes. She could just imagine Oscar’s brows furrowed, thinking over the video. 

**Stef:** It’s past demons coming for me. I’m allowing them to devour me so I am reborn. I thought you’d be happy for me. Growing up and moving on.

**Oscar:** So happy for you. x

Several messages popped up from Jared while she drank her third coffee that morning.

_Fuck_

_In trouble_

_They were Paps_

_Gen angry._

_HELP ME_

Stef snorted with laughter. He was really panicking. 

Chill. I’ll put something up on my twitter about us hanging out, it should take some heat off.

Sure enough, it did. Stef had posted a short tweet about Jared coming to NY to celebrate the release of the song. She tagged her bandmates too. Mentioning that she would see her fans at the next show in Pittsburgh. 

Two more shows in Canada, then home. 

Just before she stepped on stage that night, she shot off a text to Jared.

**Stef:** Everything ok now?

It was hours before he replied. 

**Jared:** Still in trouble, will call you later.

They were travelling again, hitting the road as soon as the show was finished. They all stank of sweat and beer. Luckily, they were staying in a hotel the next day. Her phone, on silent, flashed with Jared’s name across the screen. Keeping her voice low while the guys slept, she answered, her heart hammering in her chest.

‘Hey.’

‘Hey you,’ his voice just as low as hers.

‘What’s going on?’

‘Oh, just, Gen not happy we got caught. Photos of us on some gossip website. Did you see?’

‘Nah, I don’t care much for them. I didn’t have food on my shirt did I?’

Jared snorted, the tension easing as he laughed. ‘No. Gen showed me the photos but I told her not to look. We were just having lunch.’

‘Well, don’t look at comments on anything right now, it might upset you.’

Jared sighed heavily. ‘I hate that I’m getting in trouble over this. Can’t I just see my girl without someone else putting it out there for everyone to see?’

‘That’s kind of part of the agreement, honey.’ Stef yawned. She couldn’t help herself, her mind and body were achingly tired. 

‘Yeah, but I broke the rules by going to see you.’

‘What rules?’

‘Well, we date other people when I’m away working. And I’m not working right now, I will be in a week or two but yeah, I may not get to see you all too soon. I’m sorry.’

‘What does that mean for us?’ Stef swallowed a lump in her throat.

‘Nothing baby, I just have to put my energy into my family right now. The kids missed me and I missed them. They’ll be back at school soon...’

‘So, I’ll be put on the back burner.’

‘Nah not like that. Come on.’ He pleaded.

‘It is like that. It’s what we signed up for. It’s not like you’re leaving your wife for me, you have to work between the two of us.’

Jared was silent on his end of the phone, it made Stef feel uncomfortable, she really didn’t know how to move forward in the conversation. 

‘If that’s what you still want,’ Stef said, her voice lower that before. Her fingers winding into her hair nervously.

‘I always want you. Never think that I don’t.’ 

‘But you want to take a break from us for a while?’

‘I don’t want to, but it looks like we have to.’ 

It wasn’t final, but it felt like a kick in the gut. 

Stef couldn’t agree to it, couldn’t say yes or no or fight with him. 

‘Stef?’ His voice came through, she could hear his longing. 

‘Yeah, it’s fine.’

‘No, it’s not. It’s not what you wanted. You told me you didn’t want this to be for everyone else, it was just for us and I promised you that. I said it was just for us. I fucked it up.’

‘I wouldn’t take it back though.’ Feeling as though she couldn’t punish him for everyone else’s reaction to it. It seemed so simple all of a sudden. 

‘No I don’t regret a single thing. Maybe I just need to be a little more careful.’

‘ _We_ need to be more careful. I don’t want to talk about shit I know nothing about but I hope your wife isn’t too upset about this.’

‘Yeah well. I’ll have to work to get back in the good books.’

‘Good luck with that!’ 

Jared hummed on the other side of the phone. ‘You know what will get me through the next few days? A picture of my girl.’

Stef smiled. ‘Of me now? I look horrid after the show.’

Jared chuckled, ‘Impossible. And send one to me tomorrow too. I need my fix.’

‘Are we talking kinky pictures or...’

‘Well, now that you mention it, the idea is in my head.’ 

Stef bit her lip, curiosity taking over. ‘Maybe I’ll take a sexy picture. You’ll have to wait and see.’

‘Oh, baby don’t make me wait.’

‘He complains! After having me several ways yesterday.’

Jared whimpered. ‘I’m touching myself through my pants right now.’

‘Behave,’ she scolded playfully.

‘I can’t! You make me feel desired.’

‘Hey, can you not quote my lyrics to me!’

Jared started laughing then, feeling the funk of the last few hours draining away. ‘You make me feel so much better about this whole situation.’

‘It’s nothing, Jared. You can move past this. And I’m here until we decide otherwise.’

‘You mean if we decide to break up? Which we’re not.’ Jared pressed, ‘we’re not are we?’

‘No.’ Stef said with finality. 

There was a voice in the background, she heard Jared pulling the phone away from his face. 

‘I gotta go.’

‘Ok, good luck.’ Was all she could say before she heard his weak ‘goodbye.’ 

***

‘Brendan! My little douchebag, you miss me?’ Stef was kneeling on the floor of Claire’s hallway. Brendan was rubbing himself against her legs, annoyed that she had left him and happy that she was back. He couldn’t decide to be excited or just ignore her completely.

‘He was good for most of the time, but he destroyed some shit, as usual!’ Claire spoke to the cat, not Stef. 

Sitting on her back porch in the bright autumn evening, hands around a strong mug of green tea, Stef gagged with each sip. She hated the stuff, but it was all Claire had.

‘So you hear from Richard at all?’ Stef didn’t want to the conversation to get on to Jared. They hadn’t spoken in three days and she missed him desperately. 

‘Yes! Oh my god, we went out last week, that guy is sooooo funny!’ Claire exclaimed. 

‘So, have you fucked him yet?’ Stef asked, remembering Claire asked her the same question about Jared.

‘I did, actually.’

‘And?’

Claire was beaming, ‘that guy is amazing in the sack. He’s amazing anyway.’

‘Woah, Claire. This is starting to sound like love.’

Claire rolled her eyes, ‘maybe. Oh my god. Listen to me.’

‘You’re gushing about a man!’ Stef couldn’t disguise how happy she was for Claire. 

‘I’m seeing him next week too, he’s working on Supernatural so I get to see him and go on set.’

Stef’s heart sank a little, thinking of Claire on set meeting everyone again. Meeting Jared.

Claire nudged her, ‘You’re coming too, you know! I’m not walking on set by myself.’

‘Am I going? Jared hasn’t asked me.’

‘Shush, Richard said he would arrange it with Jared so we can go for dinner. All of us. All the cast, so it won’t look too suspicious for you guys.’

‘That’s nice of him. So he knows about me and Jared?’

‘Yes. And he’s totally cool with it. He said it’s also cool if you want to join us for a threesome.’

‘Oh tell him yes, right now. Tell him I’m ready and waiting.’ 

Claire clapped gleefully, ‘Oh he will be so happy. He’s always wanted to have a brunette and a redhead at the same time.’

‘You know, if I weren’t seeing Jared, I might even consider it.’ Stef imagined herself rolling around in the sheets with Richard, she bet that guy could fuck. 

‘You’re not exclusive are you? It’s more of an open thing, right?’

Stef considered it for a moment, ‘I guess it is. But, I don’t think Jared would be too happy with the thoughts of me and Richard. And you!’

Claire shrugged, ‘As if he’s not sleeping with is wife too.’

‘Please stop, I don’t want to think about it!’ Stef put her head into her hands.

‘Sorry, but he does. That man has a good thing going. Two women on the go.’

‘Am I foolish, Claire? Tell me truthfully.’

Claire reached over and placed her hand in Stef’s. ‘We have been friends for so long, I would tell you if I thought you were being an idiot, in an instant you know I would.’ 

Stef nodded, agreeing.

‘To anyone on the outside looking in, yeah you could be a little foolish. But this is what you want and it’s what he wants. It suits you both. You’re enjoying it now.’

Claire kissed Stef’s hand. ‘So stop thinking too much on it. Just enjoy the love and attention of a good man with a good heart.’

‘You’re right.’

‘Of course I’m right.’

They fell into silence, thinking of the men currently occupying their mental space. 

‘He has a huge dick doesn’t he?’ Claire mused.

‘Totally. And Rich?’

Claire sighed happily, ‘it’s as big as his personality. God, that man is made for me.’

‘Oh I told Jared I would send him a selfie.’ Stef pulled her phone from her pocket.

‘No, let me take it. Pose sexy,’ Claire grabbed the phone and typed in the pin code. 

Stef leaned back against the rail on the porch, her hand in her hair. licking her lips. her gaze cast down.

‘Pull your tits out a bit, perfect.’ Claire showed Stef the photo before whipping it away and texting it to Jared.

‘Bitch, I can send my own messages!’

‘Yeah but you’ll put something boring. Let me.’

Stef laughed, covering her face with embarrassment seeing the picture that was sent to Jared with the tag line. ‘This pussy is so wet thinking of you.’

Brendan was in the lower half of the picture drinking water from a flower pot. 


	15. Your Gaze Is Dangerous

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stef remembers what the hell she did last night.

Hang on to me my love  
We only have what we design

Stef woke after noon the next day. Brendan laying on the bed next to her. She was still dressed. 

Groaning she pulled her hair off her face and sat up. She felt like death. Her phone was dead. 

‘Brendan, what did I DO last night?’ 

Struggling to the bathroom, she threw up. 

One ridiculously hot shower later, she was throwing back her second espresso.

Her bag and jacket were on the sofa, her shoes on the porch outside. She had zero recollection of coming home, or the hours preceding it. 

She remembered being in Claire’s, she had gone over to pick up Brendan. 

Switching on her phone, she waited as the notifications started pouring in. ‘Please, please, please don’t have posted anything on social media.’ She cringed, already imagining the stupid shit she and Claire would have done the night before.

There were several messages from Claire, each of them asking her if she got home ok, each of the messages spelled differently. 

Stef text back quickly, seeing that Claire read it straight away, replying ‘We were smashed last night.’

The pounding headache agreed. 

Looking through her messages, there was a whole conversation with Jared she didn’t recall.

Scrolling up to the picture Claire had sent, she remembered that, at least. He had laughed so much he said snot flew from his nose. She told him that was gross.

He then told her she was hot. 

Later on the messages were getting harder to decipher. Stef groaned when she saw she had also been texting Oscar. 

Most of his responses had been good humoured, knowing she was drunk. There were several selfies she had sent. One of her with a bottle of red wine. That would explain the colour of her puke. Another picture was with Brendan sitting between her and Claire. He wasn’t impressed with the shenanigans.

There was a photo of Oscar in between the jumbled mess of texts she had sent him, demanding he send a picture as she missed his ‘lovely greying face.’

He sent a picture of him frowning, pointing at his greying beard.

‘OMG I luv yur beard .so hot.’

Stef groaned again. This was too much. 

‘Rub it on me.’ Said one text, followed almost immediately with another:

‘NO, THAT WAS CLAIRE!’

Oscar sent a short video telling her to go to bed. She bit her lip and watched it a second time. The beard was sexy, she had to admit. She was smiling without realising. There was a warm feeling within her every time she saw Oscar, she couldn’t deny it. Whether the spark was still there for her, she had to question. Her thoughts had been so full of Jared that she hadn’t time to think about it much.

She text Oscar, deciding she had been a bit silly the night before.

‘Sorry, I was a bit of a nuisance last night. :( x’

Claire was calling. ‘Hey, bitch.’

‘Oh my god I’m dying, how did you get home?’

‘I have no idea, I was hoping you could fill in the blanks for me.’ Stef lay down on the sofa, closing her eyes, hoping there wouldn’t be any more embarrassing things to discover.

‘We called Richard! You promised him you would write a song with him for his album.’

‘Oh fuck,’ Stef laughed. ‘I don’t remember that, at all...wait did I agree to the threesome as well?’

‘Oh, I think you said if it didn’t work out with Jared, you would be down for it.’

‘Is it possible to cringe so much that you die from it?’

‘Stop, I can’t laugh, I’ll puke.’

‘Me too.’

‘You were talking to Oscar a lot last night.’

‘I saw’

‘No, you were on the phone to him for a while. After he sent you that video, you said you were mad about him and called him.’

Stef covered his face with a cushion, contemplating screaming into it. 

‘Did I tell him that?’

‘Yeah, you did. Several times. He took it really well though. I made you put him on loudspeaker, coz I didn’t trust you. He laughed the whole time.’

‘Poor Oscar.’

‘Not poor Oscar, he was happy he had your attention.’

‘Do you think he will be mad?’

‘Definitely not mad, but I think he’ll be broken hearted that you aren’t going to jump his bones when you see him.’

‘Did I promise him I would?’ Stef decided another espresso was needed. Caffeine helps when you’re having a crisis, right?

‘Not in so many words.’

‘Ffffuck.’ Stef needed to get back into bed and hibernate until the embarrassment of last night was a distant memory.

‘I don’t think he took it seriously, don’t sweat it. Hey, I gotta go, I think I’m gonna vomit.’

The call ended after hearing Claire retch. It took a lot of concentration to keep the coffee down. Hearing someone retch would always make Stef feel queasy. 

A message came through from Jared.

Jared: You ok?

Stef: No, I think I might hibernate until this hangover disappears with my embarrassment. Can I apologise for any stupid shit I may have said or done?

Jared: Naw, you were funny as hell

Stef: I’m sorry if it’s still trouble for you at home x

Feeling she should leave the conversation there until he came back to her with confidence that he was in the clear. Getting caught up in the moment meant she had lowered her defences with Jared. This was not a situation she thought she would ever find herself in. Falling for a married man. Getting a married man to fall for her, who could do that? Not her, surely? 

The idea for a song came to her, quickly grabbing the notepad she always kept on top of the microwave, she scribbled the few lines that were running through her head. That satisfied that itch.

Stef was almost afraid to check her phone after cooking some comfort food; mashed potatoes and veggie sausages. 

When she had settled onto the sofa and surrounded herself with blankets and the most snacks and water she could handle for the night, she took a peek.

Jared: We’ll be ok. I’ll call you later when everyone has gone to bed.

Stef: Sure thing, I miss your face.

Jared: Miss yours more

Her tummy did that flip thing, it happened every time Jared said something cute. Goddamn that tall, sexy, lump of a man.

Oscar had also sent a couple of messages, these she feared the most. If Oscar was mad at her, could she really live with herself? He had always been her friend, despite their history. It wasn’t always fun, sometimes it was hard work. 

Something had changed between them lately, there was no denying it. Sleeping together had been a part of that, obviously, Stef knew she would be a fool to think it wouldn’t turn things on its head. 

Secretly, she wished everything that had happened to them could be washed away, forgotten about. Imagining where they would be now wasn’t helping the situation.

Opening the messages, her heart stilled, the butterfly settling to flutter its wings. 

Oscar: You were so drunk, I can’t imagine you feel good today.

Oscar: You’re always a nuisance, lucky I find it cute.

Stef: Is that why you had a baby with me?

She bit her lip, wondering why she sent a message like that to him. Usually, she would brush him off, ignore his messages for a while, as if he wasn’t important enough for her to respond to. 

Last year she had asked herself, ‘why am I like this?’ The behaviour couldn’t continue. He was a good man and he deserved better from her.

Two new notifications:

Claire: Still dying. Never drinking again.

Stef: Will remind you next time we go out ;)

Oscar: That and many other reasons 

The mood she was in wanted more of this from him. Jared was going to be off grid for a while. Attention whore, she grumbled to herself, seeing the red flags. He deserves better. The sentiment echoed in her head. Deciding it was best to focus on simple sentences, her head was pounding again. 

Hydrate. Hydrate. Don’t get drunk ever again, she thought.

Stef: Well we made a beautiful child/man

Oscar: That would be his amazing genetics.

Stef had taken after her fathers side of the family, so she was taller than most of her relatives, her mother had only reached Stef’s shoulder. Now Darius was taller than both of them. Towering over Oscar since he turned 18. 

Stef: I have to sleep off this horrendous illness I have brought upon myself. Talk soon. x 

What was with the kisses she was sending him today? She toyed with the idea of deleting them. But no, she remembered that he deserved better than the old Stef. She sent the message with kisses.

A few hours after she fell asleep on the sofa, the vibration of her phone against her chest woke her. 

Brendan started walking across her stomach, demanding food.

Answering with a croaky hello, she heard a chuckle on the other end. 

‘Hey pretty girl, did I wake you?’

‘Oh fuck.’ was all she managed.

‘Still suffering eh?’

’I think this is it, a lifelong punishment, this pain will never go away.’

Jared laughed again. ‘You’ll be alright tomorrow, I promise.’

His voice was soothing her jagged nerves, the alcohol always made her anxious. ‘You’re helping without even trying, you know that?’

‘How am I helping, Stef?’ The smile was in his voice.

‘Just being you, thanks for calling.’ 

‘What the hell are you doing? Mind if we change to video chat? I wanna see your face.’

‘Ok but no laughing at me, I look awful.’

‘You don’t look awful. Just, a little worn out. Like you’ve been up all night sending me sexy pictures.’

‘Oh did I?’ Stef was checking each box of cat food to find one that still had something in it. She needed to go shopping, asap.

‘Here you go, now chill the fuck out.’ She grumbled at Brendan, who was now happily munching away.

‘You sent a couple,’ Jared raised an eyebrow. 

‘I don’t remember, you’ll have to forgive me.’ 

’S’okay honey, they weren’t explicit, just a few selfies but anything with you in it is pretty much sexy in my eyes.’

‘Aren’t you sweet,’ if Stef wasn’t already flushed from the alcohol in her system, she would have been noticeably blushing.

Jared batted his eyelashes at her, laying on his sofa, a hand resting across his chest. 

‘Sweet for you.’ 

‘Ugh, stop.’ This time she could really feel herself blush. 

’So,’ he began, elongating the word. Stef waited for him to finish, licking her lips impatiently. 

‘I was thinking, since we won’t see each other for a bit, we could try something different.’

‘Different how?’ 

Jared was chewing his bottom lip, looking about the room. He turned the camera away from his face toward his crotch.

Stef’s eyes widened on seeing the bulge that was there, Jared’s hand palming it.

‘Ohhhh,’ Stef exhaled, a tingling sensation building within her. Feeling the heat rushing between her legs, she stopped herself from groaning. How she wanted to be there with him. 

‘Would you be up for that?’ Jared’s face filled the screen again.

‘Oh hell yeah.’ Stef was already pulling the shirt over her head before she heard the rustle of Jared pulling down his jeans.

And all the angst and all concern

Leave them here and watch them burn


	16. So When You Come

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stef visits Jared on set.

_I hold your hand so hard my knuckles turn white_

Richard pulled Stef into a bear hug, managing to lift her off her feet. ‘So good to see you, honey.’ He made a show of spitting out her hair as her long locks fell across his face, making them both laugh.

‘Good to see you too.’ Stef was nervous. Hella nervous. This would be the first time she would be with Jared at work, she was eager to see the set and all of the crew, appreciating this was absolutely huge in comparison to the small sets she had been on.

‘Let me show you around!’ Richard walked arm in arm with Claire ahead of Stef, pointing out different people he knew, waving and giving thumbs up periodically. 

‘And here’s the trailers…’ Richard turned and winked at Stef. 

Her hands were shoved into the pockets of her jacket, she wasn’t sure what to do, her stomach was doing somersaults, even her palms were a little sweaty. Jared sleeps here? She tilted her head to the side, stopping at an open door, there was movement inside. Jensen came rushing out the door, arms out. ‘Ladies, how are we?’ He gave each of them a hug, squeezing Stef a little harder than she expected. ‘Jared’s inside,’ he whispered, his mouth at her ear. Some crew members were still bustling around them. 

Her legs felt like jelly, did he not want to come out and say hi?

‘Of course you can use the bathroom, go right ahead,’ Jensen placed a hand on her lower back and guided her toward the door of the trailer. 

The room didn’t have any lights on, the only illumination was through the slats on the window blinds. Stef felt a pair of arms snaking around her waist, Jared’s body pressing against her. The heat from him and the sheer size of him had her humming in pleasure. ‘Hey, pretty girl,’ his lips nipped at her ear, causing a shiver to run up her spine, her reflexes pulled her shoulder toward her ear, trapping his face against hers.

‘You good?’ 

‘That was a nice trick, getting Jensen to cover for you.’

She felt him shrug, he was rocking gently from side to side, moving her with him. Staying like that for a few short moments before he spun her around. Now face to face, he leaned down and placed a gentle kiss on her lips.

‘Jensen and Rich are gonna show you around set.’

Stef frowned, ‘you not coming?’

‘Nah, I gotta do some stuff for the next couple of hours. But I’ll see you tonight, for dinner.’ Jared cupped her chin and smiled softly. his eyes glazed over as he swayed with her. 

‘What are we having for dinner?’ 

‘Not each other.’ Jared smiled, poking his tongue between his teeth. ‘That’s for dessert.’ 

Stef dropped her hands into the back pockets of his jeans grabbing a handful of his ass. 

‘Promise?’

‘Absolutely.’ 

Their lips were on each other again, not pulling away for several moments. The heat of the kiss left her wanting more, but the sound of Jensen clearing his throat at the door told them their time was up.

‘Go enjoy the tour, I’ll see you later,’ Jared ran a finger along her cheek. She gave him a half smile in reply. 

‘Later,’ looking at him over her shoulder as Jensen set off toward Richard and Claire, who had decided to sneak off to a dark corner themselves.

***

At the long table at the restaurant Richard had booked, Stef was sitting directly across from Jared. The drink was flowing, the conversation was great and the food was seriously good. Stef had a belly full of so much pasta, she figured she wouldn’t have to eat again for another few days. 

Halfway through the dessert, Stef slipped her foot out of her shoe and teased along the inside of Jared’s leg. He cleared his throat noisily at the initial touch, allowing his lips to curl upwards but didn’t look at Stef. Leaning his elbows on the table, he took a long gulp of beer, closing his eyes as her foot ran higher, past his knee. Stef could feel the heat of him, it was warm in the restaurant but boy did that man radiate heat. After a moment of delicate nudges with her toes, Jared reached under the table, while talking to Jensen next to him, he grabbed a hold of Stef’s foot. Rubbing the pad of his thumb across he arch, knowing she was ticklish. Instantly regretting the idea of teasing him under the table, she tried to tug her foot away but Jared held fast. No one else at the table seemed to notice. Claire was laughing and playfully slapping Richard’s arm, he was thoroughly wrapped up in her. Jensen and Jared were talking about a scene they had done earlier. It was when her eyes got to Misha that her heart skipped a beat. He was sitting there, regarding her with a slight smile, knowing full well what she was up to. Feeling his eyes on her, she felt like a naughty schoolgirl who was about to be scolded. The flush in her cheeks couldn’t be blamed on the wine. Misha blinked slowly, still looking at her, as if he was telling her to continue, he was enjoying the show. 

Get it together, Stef told herself, trying again to pull her foot away. 

Misha leaned toward her, his eyes roaming down to her cleavage and down toward the drink that sat in front of him. He took a quick gulp of beer, his eyes back to hers. 

A new wave of arousal hit her, unconsciously handing it the reigns. Her foot pressed against Jared’s crotch. HIs face gave nothing away, but he released the hold he had on her foot, instead tracing his long fingers along the sensitive skin around her ankle. 

This was too much, her senses were struggling to take back control. If she were laying on a bed, with her foot in Jared’s crotch and Misha gazing into her like he was now, there would be nothing anyone could do for her, she would be lost in them. She would have been desperately at their mercy. 

Stef looked down at Misha’s hands, he had them laying flat on the table. No one else seemed to have notice the exchange between them. She began to wonder what those hands would be like on her skin. Goosebumps raising on the exposed flesh of her arms. Stef bit her lip, telling herself to calm down. Misha was grinning now. Did he know what he was doing to her?

Was he going to say something? 

Stef swallowed, gaining some degree of control back. Jared was still rubbing her ankle and she had to admit, the sensation was lovely. 

What would happen if she put her other foot against Misha’s knee?

Don’t, she told herself. Don’t do that. 

Stef couldn’t help it, she pushed the other shoe away and raised her leg toward Misha. It was as if he was waiting for it, his warm hand met her cool skin and she shivered. 

He was tracing patterns across her foot now too, never taking his eyes from her face. Misha had noticed how she bit her lip a lot when she felt awkward and damn it was hot, he felt a little riled up. 

‘Stef?’ A voice moved through the air, all faces turned to look at her. 

‘Are you ok?’ Claire narrowed her eyes.

‘Yes, why?’ Stef squeaked. 

‘You’re making some strange noises over there.’

‘Am I?’ Oh no! 

Jared’s shoulders were shaking with laughter, ‘the dessert is really good, huh?’ 

Everyone laughed with him and carried on their conversation. Stef threw a morsel of chocolate cake into her mouth, wishing she could hide under the table. But no, each foot was still between the legs of two handsome men sitting across from her.

Misha let go, bringing both hands in front of him to grab Stef’s plate.

‘I’m definitely having what she’s having.’ His face breaking out into a handsome smile. 

Thank you, she mouthed.

No, thank you, he mouthed back, pointing at her. 

***

‘You were being a dirty girl at dinner, I feel like I should punish you. Someone could have seen what you were doing.’

They had just closed the door of the trailer when his voice changed, dropping to almost a rumble. 

Stef felt her cunt clench around nothing, that voice was doing things to her she couldn’t explain. She was already dripping wet. 

He moved behind her, pushing her over the arm of the sofa. ‘I’m thinking, maybe a spanking might set you right.’ 

Stef groaned, feeling her jeans being pushed down past her knees, his hands rough. Without warning, there was a harsh crack and a sting. Her thoughts were racing a mile a minute, she wanted this. It felt so good.

Another slap. Jared kept his hand over the mark on her ass. ‘Are you sorry?’ His breathing ragged, reaching down to grab her hair in his fist he pulled her head back. ‘Huh?’ He spanked her, harder this time. The next was harder again. 

Stef cried out. ‘Fuck, Jared.’

‘That’s not an answer.’ Jared hit her again.

Her legs were giving out, she couldn’t hold herself up any longer.

‘I’m not sorry,’ Stef breathed, smiling back at him. 

Jared plunged his tongue into her mouth, groaning into her. 

‘You’re a brat.’ He placed another slap across her already red skin, lighter this time. ‘Get on your knees. I’ll make you sorry.’

He hit the back of her throat over and over, Stef gasped for breath each time he pulled out of her throat. 

‘You ok?’ Jared looked down at her, mouth open, tongue out, licking the underside of his cock. She answered by taking the pink head and giving it a suck before letting it pop out of her mouth. 

Jared twisted his mouth into a smile and pushed into her again. Grabbing her chin with one hand, the other in her hair, guiding her head back and forth.

He could have come twice already but he was holding off, he wanted to see her gag on him, tears leaking from the side of her eyes. 

‘You look hot, choking on me like that.’

Stef giggled around him. ‘But we better stop because I have plenty more I wanna do to you.’ 

‘Like what?’ Stef took hold of his hands as he pulled her to her feet. ‘Get your ass into the shower and I’ll show you.’

Stef was standing under a pathetic excuse of a shower, the hot water barely a dribble. ‘Jared, your shower sucks.’ 

‘Turn the knob,’ he shouted through the door.

Stef fiddled with a few of the handles and a whoosh of water hit her. She cried aloud with the shock of the freezing water hitting her.

Jared laughed, leaning into the shower to turn up the heat. ‘I like cold showers.’ 

Stef was covered in goosebumps, shivering while she lathered herself up.

Jared stepped in behind her, large hands helping to spread the soap across her back. 

‘This is nice,’ she hummed, leaning back against him. 

‘Everything is always nice with you.’ He placed a kiss against her neck, licking the skin behind her ear. 

Pressing his hard cock against her lower back, he brought one of her hands behind her. Stef began pumping him, the warm skin soft beneath her touch. 

‘You’re fuckin’ huge, anyone ever tell you that?’

Jared hummed happily. ‘You’ve been taking it real good.’

‘I’d love to feel it inside me again.’

With a long inhale, Jared placed his fingers around her throat, gently tightening his fingers around her. 

‘You will,’ he breathed. 

Stef’s groan was cut off as Jared tightened his fingers around her throat, cutting off the flow of air. Her hand, in turn, began to tug him harder. His own groans filling the bathroom.

Dragging his other hand across her stomach, he curled two fingers around her clit and pushed them past her folds. Hot and wet and ready for him. ‘You like it?’ You like me fucking you with my fingers?’

Stef could only answer with a pitiful moan. 

‘Shall I add another?’ Jared didn’t wait for a response, the pushed a third finger inside her. Stef’s legs were faltering. 

‘Fuck, fuck fuck.’ 

‘You’re gonna cum, aren’t you? Gonna cum on my fingers?’

Stef could feel his cock twitching against her back. 

When she tried to speak it was incoherent nonsense, but managed to gasp out a yes. 

Jared loosened his grip on her, allowing her to fall forward against the bathroom tiles, his fingers sliding out of her sopping folds with a squelch she would have been embarrassed about if she didn’t feel so damn frustrated.

‘What are you doing?’ Stef turned to look at him. He was licking his fingers, a smug look on his face. 

‘Why didn’t you ….’ Jared cut her off with a searing kiss, rubbing his cock along her ass. 

‘Bend over.’ 

Stef did as she was told, the water running a little colder against her now. 

Jared grabbed a nipple between his fingers, tugging on it harshly. Stef bit her lip to conceal her moan. ‘Don’t stop doing that.’ 

Placing a large hand on her back, he pushed her over a little more so she was on show for him. ‘You look fucking perfect, baby. I can see how wet you are for me.’

‘I want you, please, fuck me.’

Jared grabbed his cock in his hand and began pumping furiously, his thumb running across the lips of her pussy, taking her slick and rubbing it up onto the tight ring of her asshole. 

Stef begged a little more for him to be inside her, but he was entranced by her standing still in front of him. 

After a moment of him groaning, pawing at her with his free hand, she felt the hot ropes of cum hitting her ass. 

‘Oh, Stef.’ he breathed, shaking his head, trying to clear the fuzziness. Grabbing her hips to steady himself. 

Stef scrunched up her face, what was he doing to her? This was college boy crap. She wanted to get off. Standing to her full height, she turned to look up at him, he had a grin on his stupid handsome face. 

‘You’ll get yours baby. But, it’ll be when I say.’ 

He was rinsing her off while she stood there, cold and wet and frustrated.

‘Come on, let’s have some fun.’ Jared threw her over his shoulder and made his way into the bedroom, not allowing her to dry off. 

Giggling as she bounced on the bed. Jared pushed her down and pinned her to the bed. 

‘Mind if I try something?’ He nudge her nose with his, running his fingers over her stiff nipples.

‘Will I enjoy it?’

‘I think you will.’ Jared kissed her between laughing, ‘you get wiggly when you’re annoyed. It’s pretty damn cute.’

Stef stopped mooching underneath him. ‘Well, I’m frustrated.’

‘Yeah, that’s part of the game. Baby you’ll enjoy this part, I promise.’

‘Ok then,’ she muttered, ‘What part of the game is this?’

Jared got up from the bed, moving toward the pile of clothes he had left on the floor, Stef enjoying the view of his ass. Licking her lips at the sight of him releasing a belt from the loops of his jeans. With the slight creak of the leather as he wrapped it around one fist, had her rubbing her legs together. 

‘Fuck yes.’ She said as he lunged at her. 

_When you clear the streets and kill the lights_


	17. I Awoke In The Deep

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stef & Jared spend some quality time together on set.

Jared ran his hands along her back, stopping to grab the loose end of the belt that he had tied her hands with. Stef was on her knees on the bed, eyes closed.

When she felt him press between her shoulder blades, she silently obeyed, bending over and pressing her cheek to the pillow. Her legs were together, Jared had both knees enclosing her so she couldn’t move them apart.

‘What a view,’ he mused, biting his lip and tentatively placing his two fingers against her entrance, feeling how wet she was. 

‘You’re ready for me baby, aren’t you?’

‘Yes,’ came her muffled response. ‘And if you don’t fuck me soon, I have to take matters into my own hands.’ 

‘Oh and how are you gonna do that?’ Jared pulled harshly on her bound wrists, causing her to cry out.

‘I’ve been looking forward to this, I knew you’d be trouble.’ 

Stef felt his cock nudging against her, she rolled her hips, trying to grind against him. 

Jared responded by pushing her further onto the bed, leaning over and putting two fingers into her mouth. 

Stef lapped at them as if it were the tastiest thing she had ever had in her mouth. 

Jared sat watching her roll her tongue between each finger with his mouth agape, lust filling him to the brim.

‘Do you have any idea what I want to do to you?’ 

Stef replied with a moan as Jared removed his fingers, placing them to her pussy, teasing with little circles before diving in. 

Stef moved against him again, looking for more. ‘Jared, stop fucking teasing me.’ 

Jared smiled, ducking down to suck her clit between his lips. Pumping his fingers in and out of her at an easy pace, the sucking sounds filling the room with her groans. Jared began humming against her, the vibrations causing her to pull at the belt around her wrists. Curses drowned by the pillow. 

‘Fuck!’ Stef yelled, taking a deep breath and bucking her hips against Jared’s face. 

Jared chuckled, once again pulling her away from the edge and leaving her empty. 

Stef slumped onto her side, now thoroughly unable to stay upright.

‘Come on now, baby girl, up.’ Jared grabbed the belt and tugged at it. Stef grumbled, rolling back onto her knees. 

Leaning back against his chest, Jared reached around and placed the palm of his hand against her mound, rubbing gently, sucking the skin of her neck. Stef whimpered, ‘please, Jared.’

She could feel him smile as he nipped at her earlobe. ‘Ok,’ he lined himself up and thrust inside slowly, it was agonising. ‘More, please.’ Stef had no leverage from this angle, he was controlling the movement. 

Jared sank in slower this time, giving her only a little each time she begged. Finally, on feeling her clench around him he seated himself fully before pulling out again. Her head was leaning back against his shoulder, her eyes closed, lips pulled into a smile. 

His thrusts were slow and his kisses wet along her neck, using his teeth on her pulse point. Stef breathed out a soft groan, the urge to start pummelling into her and taking the breath from her lungs was overwhelming. But he couldn’t, this feeling was something new for him, the slow drag of his cock inside her, beginning to feel her walls pulsing around him. When she came, she arched back, pushing down against him so he was deep inside her. Her mouth open, her breath stilled in her chest. Shaking as she came down, Jared held on to her, his arm wrapped across her chest. 

A moment later, she still hadn’t moved, her eyes fluttered open and stared at the ceiling. Jared nuzzled into her hair, ‘you ok?’ he asked softly.

She answered with a hmm and closed her eyes again, letting Jared cradle her while he lay her down, pulling out of her, still hard as hell.

‘You said I’d enjoy that.’ Stef said finally. 

‘And you did.’ Jared lay behind her, running his fingers along her thigh. 

‘Holy fuck, yeah I did.’ Stef started to laugh. Jared’s cock was digging into the small of her back. Her fingers wrapped around the shaft, but had no room to do anything else. ‘Maybe I should tease you. Payback.’ Stef turned to face him, his eyes lingering on her mouth while she licked her lips and smiled, feeling her own slick on his cock. 

‘If I untie you, are you good to go again?’ Jared whispered, wrapping his own hand over hers, beginning to thrust into her palm.

‘If you want me to fuck you into oblivion, I will. But no more teasing tonight.’ 

Jared groaned into her mouth as he pulled her into a kiss. His tongue was against hers, Stef tasting herself. 

Jared opened the belt to free her hands, rubbing her wrists with his thumbs, seeing that the leather had bitten into her skin. She hadn’t complained. 

Stef swung her leg over his hip and straddled him. Jared raised his eyebrows, surprised at her sudden movement.

Grabbing her hips, he pushed her down against him, his cock running along her wetness. Stef hummed in appreciation, placing her hands on his chest; keeping him in place while she wiggled her hips. 

‘You gonna ride me baby?’

Stef began kissing his neck, running her tongue along his collarbone to his nipples, nibbling until it stood hard against her teeth. She moved on to the other, watching his face contort with pleasure while she dragged her tongue against his skin. His fingers digging into her hips, squeezing and releasing as she licked and sucked and nibbled at him. 

Throwing her head back, Stef took his cock in her hand, stroking it a little while he raised his hips with impatience. 

Using one hand to brace herself against his chest, she sank down on to him. Stef still wasn’t used to how full he made her feel, even with how wet she had been each time they fucked, she needed a breath or two to work him all the way in. 

Jared was rolling his hips up into her, trying to get deeper. Stef pushed him down and tutted. 

‘Hey, you said no more teasing.’ Jared moved his hands down to grab her ass, angling himself so he could thrust up into her easier.

‘But I like seeing you getting frustrated down there, it’s hot.’ 

Jared thrust into her again, harsher each time, eventually he was buried inside her completely. 

Stef leaned back a little, supporting herself by placing her hands on his thighs and lifted her hips, sliding down onto him faster now. 

Jared was eager to see her bouncing on top of him, his thrusts were becoming furiously fast as she was lowering herself at the same time. 

Jared’s forehead was beaded with sweat as he alternated between squeezing her ass and pinching her nipples, grinding the flesh of her breasts in his palms. 

Looking at where he was disappearing into her, Stef getting louder the harder she rode him. 

‘You look so good fuckin’ me, Stef.’

Their eyes met, lust burning through them. Stef cried out as Jared spat on his fingers and started grinding them against her clit. The pressure was building inside her, threatening to burst through her with such ferocity that she slammed down onto him and couldn’t move, digging her nails into his thighs, he cried out and grabbed her hips, giving her only two thrusts before he came as hard as she had. They were breathless, throats ragged from screaming. Stef collapsed down onto his chest, her hair falling into his face. 

When he had softened inside her, he pulled out, feeling their combined cum leaking out over his thighs and onto the bedsheets beneath him.

‘Holy fucking shit.’ 

‘Uh-huh’ Jared agreed, holding Stef’s hair back from her face, kissing the sweat soaked skin of her forehead. 

‘I don’t think I could stand up right now.’

‘Well, lucky you don’t have to. Just lay back for a bit.’

Stef rolled off him, aided by Jared. Her head hit the pillow and the sleepiness came over her. Fighting it off with a groan and a complaint that she needed to get going.

Jared furrowed his brows. ‘You ain’t going anywhere.’

‘Can’t stay here, can I?’ 

‘Sure you can, this is my home away from home right now. You’re staying with me tonight, baby.’ 

Stef couldn’t say no, she was too tired, too contented.

Wrapping himself around her, they fell into silence getting their breathing back into a steady rhythm, slipping into sleep together.

Stef woke hearing her phone ringing. It was somewhere in her clothes on the floor. Cursing, she slid off the bed, tossing pieces of clothing aside to find the noisy apparatus. The call ended just as she found it in her jeans pocket. 

Getting back under the sheets, she could see Jared was still sleeping. His mouth open a little, face squished into the pillow. 

Smiling, she placed a soft kiss on his brow. He still didn’t budge. That didn’t surprise her, twice during the night they had awoken to make love. Slow and delicate. Jared was thoroughly spent. 

Stef smiled to herself, knowing she would be walking funny for a while. 

There were a couple of messages from Claire she had missed. 

Claire: Enjoy your night, Richard is taking me home ;)

Claire: Im in love.

The second message had come in two hours after the first. Stef was happy for her friend, hoping Richard would be good to her. Claire could be unpredictable sometimes, but this guys seemed to dig it. Good for him, Stef thought.

A message came in from Oscar.

Oscar: You ignoring me? :)

Stef: Nope, sorry. Had a busy night :) whats up?

Oscar: Ok, I will leave you to it

Stef: Talk in the morning x 

Sighing, she put her phone on the bedside table. It was on silent. No more disturbances. 

Wriggling into position, Stef felt Jared moving behind her. He wrapped one long arm around her, tucking her head under his chin. His breathing steady, not waking. 

Stef had a million thoughts and questions running in her mind, knowing she would have to ask them when Jared woke. 

‘Enjoy the moment,’ she whispered in the darkness. Snuggling back into him, letting his warmth surround her, she drifted off into sleep again.

***

Sitting on the sofa in the trailer, fresh from a shower and sipping a hotter-than-hell coffee, Stef was itching to get Jared’s attention. Since he had woken he had been running lines and would not be distracted. 

Shifting in her seat every few minutes, watching him read through the script. 

‘You should know it by now, no?’

Jared was mumbling through a particular part, his nose still buried in the pages as he walked towards her. Leaning over the sofa, he grabbed her in one arm and pulled her into a hug. Taking his eyes away from the lines he nuzzled into her hair. 

‘What’s got you uptight, you’re squirmy all morning.’

‘I need to talk to you about something.’

‘Oh? Should I sit down? Is this a serious talk?’ He teased. 

‘Sorta.’

The smile that was on his face faltered a little. 

‘Ah!’ He exclaimed, sitting beside her on the sofa, pages loose in his hand.

‘I wanna know if this is purely about sex for you.’ Stef’s voice was steady, though her insides were squirming about alarmingly.

Jared cleared his throat. ‘No, it’s not. I know we have had a lot of sex the past while.’ 

’I’m not complaining, Jared.’

‘There was a time when I just wanted you but now, I can’t get enough of you. I need you. Does that make sense?’

Stef moved to face him, every time she needed to have a serious talk like this, she felt her adrenaline spiral out of control, soon she would be shaking and cold, needing a hot tea or a large vodka.

‘I think I know what you mean.’

Jared frowned, huffing while he gathered his thoughts. 

‘When we first met, I told you I really wanted you, like, it was just pure lust, I had to have you, you were taking over my dreams, every time I fucked my wife I wanted it to be you laying under me. And now it is, you are there with me and I need it more and more.’

Stef nodded, encouraging him to continue. 

‘I need you, Stef.’ Jared took her hand in his.

‘Please, don’t say I complete you.’

‘You are totally uncomfortable with this, aren’t you?’

‘With serious talks?’

‘And sincerity. If you’re having doubts, I want to hear them. Sorry if I’m a little distracted right now.’ He waved the script in the air. ‘Sometimes, it’s frustrating.’

‘I have my issues, but I’m working on them.’

‘Do you want to talk about it?’ Jared squeezed her hand in his. 

Stef looked around the room trying to find anything to look at rather than his face, his eyes were on her, searching for something. 

‘I’m no good at this, sorry Jared,’ trying to pull her hand away but he held fast.

‘Hey, you’re my girl. I get to be here for the good and the not so good, you can talk to me.’ 

Stef blinked slowly, contentedly as he raised her hand to his lips, placing soft kisses while he waited for her to speak.

‘I agreed to be the other woman and I’m happy with that, I really am. But, I miss you when you’re not around. I feel like I’m being selfish by wanting your time.’

‘You’re not, I miss you too. You’re something special Stefanie James, you have taken my heart.’ 

She didn’t know if he meant to do it, but he had placed her hand over his chest, just as Oscar had done outside the club at Darius’s party. 

Looking into the hazel eyes that were now drinking her in, she shifted in her seat again. 

‘Talk to me, baby girl.’ he insisted.

‘I’m sorry, none of these things that are running through my mind are making much sense when I say them aloud. I just feel bad when I can’t have you but it should be the other way around.’

‘You think you should feel guilty when you do have me to yourself.’

‘Yes!’ Stef exclaimed, causing Jared to laugh. 

’Nah, we ain’t doing that. No guilt, this is all good with everybody involved. Until the moment someone says otherwise. Ok?’

‘Ok,’ Stef agreed quietly, leaning into him. His lips met hers. The kiss was loving and soft. The urgency of remembering his lines was forgotten for the moment, Stef was grateful, she knew he was being sincere. Something still niggled at her though, she couldn’t put her finger on what.

‘Hey, are we good?’ Jared pulled away from the kiss, keeping his forehead against hers.

‘Yeah, we’re good.’ 

Shit, Stef thought, it’s like he can read my mind.

‘I struggle a little with these talks, but thank you for being honest with me.’

Jared had her hand still pressed against his heart, his warmth still a comfort for her. It was something she wished she could hold with her when she left.

‘I promise to always be honest with you, as stupid as that sounds.’ Jared grinned.

‘Yeah ok, let’s stop this before it gets too sappy.’

Their kiss was interrupted by a banging on the door. 

Jared opened the door, revealing a very happy Misha on the other side. 

‘Hey guys!’

Again, Stef’s insides started to squirm. I fuckin’ hope he doesn’t mention the foot thing in front of Jared, she thought. 

‘I’m heading back home today so I thought I’d say my goodbyes.’

‘Heading home already?’ Stef stood next to Jared, only reaching his shoulder.

‘Well, I’ve finished filming my bit for the week so I’m getting some quality time with the family.’

Misha was gesturing with his hands though they were stuffed into his pockets. Jared stood back to let him step into the trailer.

‘Oh thanks,’ Misha said, almost surprised at the gesture. His eyes looked over Stef for a moment. 

‘Are you sticking around today?’ He cocked his head to the side.

‘No, I have to get going soon, I was just helping Jared with some lines.’

‘Hmmm,’ he said, narrowing his eyes.

‘I could drive you home if you like, you live just outside the city, right?’

‘I do and that would be amazing, when are you leaving?’

‘About 15 minutes, is that enough time?’ Misha looked between Stef and Jared.

‘Suits me,’ Stef smiled.

‘Ok, I’ll pull the car round to the main entrance.’

Jared thanked him profusely for the offer in between making jokes at Misha’s expense. 

As he was leaving, Jared clapped his friend on the back, ‘thanks for taking care of my girl.’

Misha turned and waved at them, ‘sounded like you took plenty care of her yourself last night.’

He disappeared between the trailers as Jared burst into a fit of laughter. ‘Oh man.’

‘Oh no!’ They said in unison.

‘That’s funny.’

‘That’s embarrassing.’

‘It’s kinda hot too, if you think about it. Misha knows what you sound like in the throes of passion now.’

Jared put his hands on either side of her face, enjoying the shade of pink across her cheeks. 

‘That doesn’t comfort me any!’

Jared laughed between the kisses, placing one on each side of her nose and on her brow. ‘I wish I could hear them every night before I fall asleep.’

‘I’ll record them for you.’ 

‘That’s a promise you’ll regret making.’ 

Stef poked her fingers into his ribs, causing him to jump.

‘Hey, take it easy, I’m just playing. I wouldn’t make you put that into a video for me. Or would I?’

‘Yeah, yeah Padalecki, you’d hate it, seeing it and not being able to touch it.’

‘You got me, you are my weakness.’

Stef felt the tears swell behind her eyes, was it leaving him right now or the fact that he was so honest about his desire for her that was making this goodbye a little harder than the last?

‘When will I see you?’ Stef whispered, almost feeling as if she were desperate already, an addict looking for her next fix. 

‘The weekend. We can go for a jog.’

‘Oh that sounds delightful.’

‘Ok, you chose what we do then. I’m happy as long as I’m with you.’

‘Jared, you old romantic.’ 

He kissed her again, still holding her face in his hands. ‘You bring it out in me.’

‘I gotta go. Your friend awaits.’ Stef reluctantly gave him one last hug before checking her bag. House keys, wallet and phone, the most important things.

‘I’ll call you later.’ Jared promised, waving as she made her way towards the car that waited in the distance.

***

The journey wasn’t all that bad. Misha was chatty, familiar in a non creepy way and thoroughly entertaining. 

Having regaled her with stories of Jared on set, they pulled up outside Stef’s house. 

‘Thanks for the ride, Misha. It is much appreciated.’

‘Well, thanks for listening to me. I’m here any time you want to hear about much a dick your boyfriend is.’

Stef snorted. ‘I’ll take you up on that offer.’

As she unbuckled her seatbelt, Misha reached over and placed a hand on her arm.

‘Thank you for last night by the way.’

Stef gulped. ‘I didn’t mean to be so…loud,’ she blushed.

‘Oh I don’t mean that, I don’t mind that. You guys sounded like you were enjoying each other, that’s always wonderful to hear. Sex is such a beautiful act with someone you love.’

Stef pursed her lips, unsure if she wanted to continue this conversation with him. She didn’t know him, at all, but something about Misha made her comfortable. A feeling she didn’t get with many people. Or anyone, if she was honest with herself.

‘I meant when you allowed me to stroke your foot.’

Stef laughed, a high pitched noise neither she nor Misha were expecting.

‘Sorry, what?’ She asked, her colour rising.

‘Ah, I just meant that I enjoyed the moment with you and it got me thinking about some things that perhaps I had forgotten about.’

‘What do you mean?’ 

‘Well,’ Misha began, looking ahead of him through the windscreen, but not really looking at anything in particular.

‘You were having this moment with Jared and when I saw how happy it made you, I wanted to be a part of it. And I’m sorry if it was strange for you. But, I got the feeling you enjoyed it, since you put your foot on my leg. And while I was stroking your delicate arches, it made me think that I do love rubbing my wife’s feet and I haven’t done it in such a long time. I will make the effort when I get home, to spend some alone time with her and just…touch her like I did with you.’

Stef was taken aback, his honesty was moving. She smiled at him, ‘that’s incredibly wonderful.’ 

‘Thank you for that, Stef. We don’t think about these moments of intimacy, it’s all about fucking, really, isn’t it? We don’t allow ourselves to just touch.’ He mused. 

‘We don’t realise how vulnerable we are in those times, just allowing someone to touch us, trusting them to be caring and respectful of our space by allowing them into it like that.’

Stef looked at him, unable to agree or disagree. She smiled, while he looked back at her. 

‘Have I made you uncomfortable?’

‘No you haven’t, but that’s something I will be thinking on for the rest of the day.’

‘Ah,’ Misha held his hands up, ‘I’m getting soft.’

‘You’re inspiring, Misha.’

He shrugged. ‘Thanks again for your company.’

Stef gave him a kiss on the cheek and made her way back into the house, noticing a familiar feline face staring back at her from the living room window. 

‘Trusting someone enough to let them into our space. Now how many people have I let into my comfort zone, Brendan? Not including you?’ She asked, grabbing his tail as he wound his way about her legs. 

‘Two. No more, no less. That’s either depressing or admirable.’ Stef sighed. 

‘Come on buddy, let’s write some songs about how closed off I am.’


	18. There's An Ocean Inside Your Chest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stef & Jared have a Lord of the Rings with a little bit of sexy time.

‘I can’t believe we have watched both Fellowship AND Two Towers.’ Stef stretched back against the sofa. 

‘Extended editions.’ Jared pointed out.

‘What a great use of our time.’ 

‘Hey, I hope that’s not sarcasm.’ 

Stef brushed her fingers through her hair, stifling a yawn. ‘I’m offended that you’d think that.’ She pouted.

Jared grinned, setting up Return of the King.

‘Fancy some food for this one?’

‘What are you thinking?’ 

Stef rummaged through the fridge, gathering the makings of a pasta bake. That would satisfy the carb addiction anyway. 

-

Jared licked his plate clean, not taking his eyes off the tv. ‘You really like pasta and Lord of the Rings, huh?’

‘Mmhmm,’ came the reply. 

Stef took the plate from his hands and threw into the sink with the rest of the mess, that could be tomorrow’s problem.

She spent most of the movie laying in Jared’s lap while he played with her hair. 

‘You asleep?’

‘Again, I’m offended. These are my favourite movies, sleep can wait.’

Stef could see Jared’s reflection in the tv, he was smiling, dimples deepening. 

‘Sorry, I want to watch this but I want to tease you.’

‘You tease me all the time, why not give it a rest for the next hour and thirty minutes?’

‘Nope!’ He declared, pausing the movie.

‘What are you doing?’ Stef raised herself from his lap, trying to fix the hair he had mussed. 

His lips were on hers, his body shifting over her, pushing her down against the side of the sofa. 

‘I’m planning on doing you, right here.’ Jared said, between kisses, his tongue slipping through her parted lips.

She could only groan in response. 

‘What do you want?’

Stef couldn’t answer, his hands were pulling at her clothes, his tongue still working hers. 

‘I want you, I want your hands on me.’

Jared smiled, biting her lower lip. ‘And then?’

‘I would love it if you tied me up again.’

Jared moved back from the kiss and grinned at her, ‘really?’

Stef flicked the away the hair that had fallen into his eyes and nodded. ‘That was hot.’

‘Oh baby,’ he grabbed her hands and pulled her to her feet. ‘Take your clothes off.’

‘Slowly,’ he pulled the leather strap from his belt loops and sat back down to watch her. 

Stef shimmied out of her jeans, bending over a little too far, giving him a show. She had worn a pair of white almost see through panties just for this moment, knowing he wouldn’t be able to resist. A soft groan of delight passed his lips as she tore away her shirt, standing now in just her matching lingerie. ‘C’mere,’ Jared licked his lips, turning her so he was level with her ass, taking a bite of the soft flesh and running his fingers along the thin material, grazing her clit. 

He expertly bound her hands together, ‘leave your hands where they are and don’t move.’ Stef’s cleavage looked fuller than it actually was in this bra, it helped that her hands were clasped in front of her too. She smiled to herself, enjoying the sensation of Jared feeling every inch of her skin that he could. 

Sucking and biting along the edge of her panties, he held on to her hip, allowing her to lean forward against his arm a little. 

His bites getting harder while she groaned for him to continue. There would be marks. 

‘Jared you’re getting me so wet.’ She breathed, trying to grind her ass against his face. This earned her a sharp slap across her thighs. She squealed, not expecting the pain. 

‘Stop talking.’ 

Stef bit her lip, smiling. She fucking loved this.

Jared took another harsh bite of her flesh and tore the panties away, leaving them to flutter in pieces to the floor. 

Pushing her apart, he ran a finger along her sex, gathering the wetness gathered there and ran it up along her asshole. 

Stef felt his tongue, hot and wet pressing against her and she hummed with appreciation. Right there, that’s where she wanted him, she had wanted him there for so long. 

Jared felt her reaction, grinning as he ran his tongue from her folds back up to her tight hole. She pushed back against him just as he knew she would. 

‘I’m gonna finger you ass, baby girl. Then I’ll eat your pussy and open you up for me.’

The sound Stef made was nothing she had heard before, a primal sound from her throat. There was nothing more that she wanted than him, right now, there was nothing else in the world but him and his hands and that sinful mouth that was ravaging her. 

Jared licked his fingers and pushed them inside her dripping cunt, burying them to the knuckle. Stef leaned over a little more, legs shaking.

‘Lay face down on the sofa,’ he commanded, propping her up on a cushion so that her ass was in the air, her hands bound above her head. 

Pushing two fingers back inside he enjoyed the view in front of him, this angle made it much easier to play with her. Her face was hidden from him but her hips were rocking slightly side to side, looking for friction.

‘You’re fucking desperate for this. Look at you, dripping wet wanting me to fuck you.’ 

Ducking his head, he spat against her lips and rubbed it into the skin around her asshole before pushing the tip of his thumb inside. 

‘Relax, baby this is going to feel amazing.’ 

Stef was moaning, shifting a little so he could slide deeper into her. 

‘Two fingers in your cunt and a thumb in your ass and you still want more.’ Jared teased, his cock strained against his jeans, but he had to be patient. 

‘You want more?’

Stef nodded, ‘yes, I need more. Give me more, I want to feel you stretching me open, please.’ She begged, feeling pathetic, but so fucking turned on.

Hearing Jared chuckle a little, slipping his fingers out with a sickening pop.

‘This will get better, but we need to get a little something extra. I don’t want to hurt you.’

‘Oh,’ Stef realised she needed lube and it was all the way upstairs in the dresser by her bed. 

Twisting to look behind her as best she could, Jared was gazing at her, his skin flushed from arousal.

‘In my bedroom, first drawer in my dresser.’ 

She felt the sofa shift as he got up, noticing the tenting in his jeans as he walked awkwardly up the stairs to retrieve the lube.

Stef saw Brendan walk by the sofa, giving her a soft meow before plopping down next to her, his eyes staring back at her. ‘Dude, get out of here, you do not want to see anything tonight, you’ll need therapy.’

The large feline didn’t stick around when he heard Jared coming back down the stairs, he disappeared into the kitchen to his bed. 

‘Thanks for waiting so patiently,’ Jared snickered, placing a warm hand on the globe of her ass. 

Stef looked over her shoulder, Jared was wearing a wicked grin. Placing a quick kiss on her mouth and checking she hadn’t wriggled free of the belt, he continued down until he reached the ass waiting for him. 

Nibbling across her cheek, he put the pad of his index finger against her clitoris, waiting for the inevitable groan he would get from her. 

‘Where was I?’ he mused, fingering her gently. ‘I think I was just….here.’ Jared pushed a thumb back inside the tight ring of muscle. 

Stef was whimpering now, little gasps gracing the cushion beneath her mouth. 

‘That ok baby?’ 

Stef mumbled a yes, face pressed right into the sofa. 

‘Want more?’ 

Jared spanked her hard when she didn’t answer. ‘I need you to tell me or I’ll leave you here wet and needy.’

‘Yes,’ she managed, entwining her fingers together. 

Jared moved to open his jeans, his hard cock sprang free, slapping his stomach with a smack. 

Stef opened her mouth in a silent moan, imagining how it looked, she wanted to touch it so bad. Wanted to run her tongue along it, taste the cum she knew was waiting there on the tip.

Without a word of warning, he sank his cock into her cunt. This time she did groan, and loud. The feeling of him filling her up was delicious, arching her back, lifting her head with the pleasure of his new found rhythm. He was fucking her slow; torturously and gloriously slow. Sitting fully inside her before retreating, her slick coating him, almost dripping from his cock. 

‘So tight for me, baby, so wet and tight.’ 

‘I’m gonna make you cum, then I’m gonna fuck you here.’ Jared started moving his thumb in and out of her asshole. 

Stef couldn’t stop the sounds escaping her mouth, was it possible for her to get wetter than she was now? Jared was sliding in and out of her sloppy cunt with ease. 

‘Harder,’ she whispered. 

Jared snapped his hips against her, thrusting deeper. ‘Harder? Faster? Or both?’

‘Both, oh god both, I need you to fuck me. Please.’

He responded with a grip on her shoulder that would leave finger marks. Pounding into her relentlessly while she screamed. Clamping around his dick and bringing him to his own release. Pulling out of her completely, he shot his load across her back with a long groan.

Leaning back against the end of the sofa, Jared took a few breaths, Stef was still face down, breathing hard and steady. 

‘Y’okay?’ 

He could see her nodding. ‘Good, lemme just get rid of this.’ Freeing her hands from the restraints, she looked up at him. ‘Why?’

Jared kissed her brow, helping her adjust her position, ‘coz if we are doing this, you gotta feel comfortable, I can tie you up again later,’ he winked. 

Stef giggled, oh she couldn’t wait for this, the recent orgasm now a distant memory while her body responded once again to his touch. He ran his fingers down along her spine, leaning in to place kisses and nibbles along her hips, settling between her legs. 

A wet finger teased her entrance, pushing in without ceremony. Stef bit her lip, a small sound escaping her chest, she needed much more. 

‘More?’

‘Yes,’ she gasped, feeling a second finger slide into her. 

Jared was in to the knuckle, dick hardening just watching her squirm beneath him.

’Think you can take me?’

‘I don’t know if it’ll fit,’ she teased, looking over her shoulder at him, she licked her hips for effect. It worked, his grin was all teeth, ducking down to place a new bite across her already sensitive skin. Sighing at the emptiness when he slid his fingers out, she pouted at him while he lubed up every part of his dick. 

‘I’ll make it fit, you’ve been taking me so well, baby.’

The head of his cock was pushing against her. ‘Play with yourself.’ 

Stef obeyed, lifting her hips a little to let her hand rest between her legs, placing two fingers on either side of her lips, her clit sitting perfectly where she could grind against it. 

It had been a long time since she felt the hot spread of cock in her ass and Jared’s girth was nothing to sniff at. He had the tip pushed through the tightness and waited for her reaction. 

Stef was slipping her fingers into her pussy, muttering soft curses to herself. 

Jared had a hold of either side of her ass, pushing in a little more. His own words indecipherable. ‘I can hardly move here, baby, you’re so goddamn tight.’ 

A laugh bubbled up from her chest, ‘I know you wanna fuck me, so you better start moving.’

Jared’s hips jerked at the invitation, causing her to cry out. His gasps and sighs at the feeling of her ass pulling him in were sinful. ‘Goddamn, baby. You’re gonna make me cum if you keep talking like that.’ 

Transfixed on the scene, Jared set a slow rhythm, inching himself in slowly with each pass. Stef whimpered beneath him, grinding against her own hand. 

‘You like that, huh? You love the feeling of my cock in your ass?’

She answered with a soft groan.

‘Tell me how much you love it.’

‘I love the feeling of your cock in my ass, Jared, fuck me harder.’

‘Can you take me harder?’

‘Fuck yes, give it to me.’

Jared dug his fingers into the flesh of her ass, the globes fitting perfectly into his hands. His thrusts gathering momentum now as she relaxed around him, he spat a little on his dick before pushing it inside again, the extra slick helping to ease into her. 

The moans escaped her lips now with each pounding, the breath punched out of her lungs. 

‘Yes,’ she muttered over and over. 

‘You’re taking it all baby, look at you.’ He praised, sending her over the edge. 

Jared had her pinned beneath him as she came hard, her fingers stuffed inside her cunt, his cock buried to the hilt in her ass. It didn’t take much for him to reach his climax. With several hard thrusts he leaned over her, biting into her shoulder while his cock twitched and shot hot cum inside her. 

Both were breathing hard, no energy to speak. 

Stef couldn’t move with the heavy weight of him on her. She felt safe here, if he left she would feel the emptiness, ‘don’t move,’ she whispered. 

Jared kissed along her shoulder where he had bitten, soothing the soft skin with his tongue. Lapping at the tiny beads of blood that sat on the surface. 

When she felt the numbness of her hand between her legs, she shifted a little, pulling them both out of their reverie. 

‘You ok?’ Jared nudged her ear with his nose. 

‘Better than ok.’

The coldness on her skin as he sat against his heels was a shock, she cried out a little. 

‘Did I hurt you?’ His brow furrowed.

‘No,’ she replied in a small voice. 

He was pulling out of her gently, the mixture of his spendings and the lube making the process a little easier.

‘That was messy.’

‘Oh?’ Stef turned, wondering what the hell was going on down there.

‘Yeah my cum is everywhere.’ 

They both laughed. Jared helped her roll over onto her side. ‘You need a minute?’

‘Yeah, lay with me.’

‘I won’t fit.’ 

‘Hey, you promised me you’d fit earlier.’

Jared barked a laugh, ‘yeah, yeah ok.’ 

‘Maybe we should clean you up first,’ he grimaced. 

He disappeared and returned with a towel, he had run it under the warm water, thankfully. Cleaning her back and between her legs quickly, he threw it on the floor and lay next to her on the small sofa. 

Neither of them spoke, their eyes taking the other in. His dimples deepening when she kissed the bridge of his nose and his eyebrows. 

She giggled when he did the same, his beard tickling her nose. 

‘Want to go have a shower? I really did make a mess.’ 

She hummed in assent, feeling him move her limbs so he could carry her bridal style to the downstairs bathroom. 

The hot water spilled down in a cascade, causing her to yelp. 

‘Were you not expecting the water to get you?’ Jared teased.

‘Shut up and get in here, help me clean your mess.’

‘Hey you made a mess of me too!’ He pointed at the sheen of cum that had coated his dick and his thighs. It was all hers too. She grinned at the sight, feeling proud that he could get her off so easily and so thoroughly. 

‘Are you going to try anything naughty in the shower?’ Stef began lathering herself up with one of the sickly sweet shower gels she owned.

‘Only if you want,’ he replied, taking a handful of the soapy liquid and running his hands down her back. 

‘Ouch!’ Stef put a hand against the bite on her shoulder. ‘Son of a bitch!’ 

‘Sorry about that, heat of the moment?’

‘You drew blood!’

Jared grimaced, ‘I am sorry.’

Stef shook her head. ‘It felt nice a the time but it stings like a mother fucker now. You bit hard, asshole.’

Jared gave her an easy smile, seeing she was teasing him.

‘I drew blood and you liked it?’

Stef shrugged, ‘maybe a little.’ Standing on her tip toes to kiss him.

He replied with a heated kiss, his hand cupping her jaw. His cock twitched close to her tummy.

‘Now who is the insatiable one?’ Stef ran her hands through the hair at the back of his head, kissing him harder. 

**

‘That was a first.’ Jared sat back down on the sofa. 

‘Shower sex? No it’s not.’

‘Nah, I meant stopping in the middle of a Lord of the Rings marathon for some sexy time.’

Stef stifled a laugh, his hair was wet and slicked back, beard still glistening from the water. ‘You never dried your beard,’ she dabbed at the hair with her sleeve. Jared hooked his arm around her, dragging her to his chest into a hug. 

‘You remind me of Aragorn. He really does it for me, all that hair,’ Stef grunted. ‘Sexy bastard.’

‘Well, let’s finish this movie, see how you feel after three more hours of Aragorn being sweaty and fighting Orcs.’

‘And getting the girl at the end.’ Stef lay back on the sofa, draping her legs across Jared’s lap.

‘And getting the girl at the end.’ Jared agreed. 

There was a half hour left in the movie and Stef couldn’t keep her eyes open. The next thing she knew, Jared was lifting her from the sofa. 

‘What are you doing?’ She grumbled.

‘We are going to bed.’ 

Stef allowed herself to be carried without argument. The familiar comfort of her bed and her many blankets surrounded her. She could hear Jared throwing the extra pillows to the floor.

‘So damn many, what’s wrong with you?’

Stef smiled into his shoulder as he lay next to her, succumbing to sleep with her nose buried in the crook of his neck.


	19. Myself A Storm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stef & Claire head to a convention, with a few surprises :)  
> Married Jared! Single Richard! Single Oscar!

With shadows tall and grim, and histories inked in sin.

‘It’s a convention, we just walk around and look at stuff.’

Claire was near to stomping her foot with discontent. She didn’t want to come to the convention, she didn’t want to get on the plane and she absolutely didn’t want to walk around and look at stuff. 

She was lovesick. Richard wouldn’t be arriving until the next morning. 

It wasn’t unlike Claire to be cranky when she didn’t get her own way, but this was almost insufferable.

‘Well I’m going to go get a drink at the bar if you want to join me, you are welcome to. But don’t bring bitch-Claire with you.’

Stef threw her bag over her shoulder and put her hand on the door handle, from the corner of her eye, she could see Claire pausing while putting on her mascara. She pouted at her reflection.

‘I’m sorry, Stef.’

The apology took her by surprise, ‘I know you miss him, but he will be here in 10 hours so let’s just try enjoy the time before I don’t see you because you’ll be too busy being romanced.’ Stef waited for her friend to respond.

Claire sighed heavily, chucking the rest of her make up back into its case. ‘Ok, fuck it. I’m being a dickhead, let’s get a drink. I hate men!’

Stef laughed, ‘you hate men?’

‘Only the men that make me feel like this!’

‘You’re angry at Richard coz he’s not here yet?’ Stef bit her lip, watching her friend struggling to slip her arms into her jacket. 

‘Bitch, hang on I’ll help you, chill.’ 

Claire huffed. ‘Yes I’m angry with him for not being here all the time. He should be at my beck and call, you know.’ The sarcasm was there, but there was sincerity behind it too.

‘I’m in love with him, Stef.’ 

Stef fumbled with the jacket collar, Claire turning to look at her, to see her reaction.

‘I know you do.’

‘It’s very new to me. I’m not really sure what to do with myself when he’s not around.’ Claire was adorable in these moments, dewy and doe eyed. 

‘Enjoy it, coz that feeling fades.’

‘Fades to what?’ Her eager eyes meeting Stef’s. 

‘A different kind of love. The type where you would do anything for them, your tummy doesn’t squirm around like it used to, but your skin hums when they’re around.’ 

‘That’s beautiful. I’m at the squirmy stage, but the next part sounds good too,’ Claire whispered.

‘Morning snuggles that you love turns into ‘you’re breathing on me, turn over.’’

Stef crinkled her nose, remembering the last time she lay awake while Jared slept next to her. That man could snore!

‘Yeah, for me it was always get out before they wake up, but I stick around for Richard to wake up so I can bring him coffee.’

‘Oh, you do love him.’ Stef simpered, throwing her arm around Claires shoulders, guiding her to the door. ‘So let’s go to the bar and talk about him some more, maybe even video call him so we can see his handsome face, huh?’

Claire squealed, pulling out her phone, unlocking it to show Stef her wallpaper, a cute photo of Richard leaning in to kiss Claire’s cheek, a similar face to what she was wearing now. Pure happiness. 

Stef gave her friend a quick peck on the forehead. ‘So happy for you, honey.’

***

The bar was busy enough for how early it was. The girls picked at some nachos and dip while sipping beer from ridiculously tall glasses.

‘So, when you’re with Jared, do you get all the lovely squirmy love feelings too?’ Claire had reapplied her lipstick twice already having lost most of it to the entire rim of the beer glass. 

‘Kinda.’

‘What do you mean ‘kinda’,’ Claire looked at her quizzically.

‘Well, I do but I know that he’s not mine. If you get me?’

‘And the fact that he’s someone else’s husband stops you from knowing your true feelings for him?’

‘Kinda.’

Claire rolled her eyes. ‘Talk to me girl, you’re so fucking evasive.’

‘Well, it’s like this. I agreed to be the other woman, k? So that means when he’s not working, he’s with his family, when he’s away from his family, I’m his…’

‘Girlfriend.’

‘No.’

‘His whore.’ Claire winked.

‘Fuck off, Claire.’

‘What? I meant it in a nice way.’

Stef huffed, crossing her arms across her chest. ‘You’re not wrong.’

‘I know I’m not wrong, Stef. But you said it’s what you both wanted. So, he’s your whore too.’

Stef snorted a laugh. ‘Oh he is.’

Claire wriggled in her seat, a sure sign she was waiting for Stef to tell her everything.

‘No, bitch. You don’t get to know. Some things should stay private.’

‘Aw come on, I’d love to know what he’s like in the sack.’

Stef widened her eyes in warning, ‘I can’t just start talking about it, that’s not fair. I wouldn’t like it done to me!’

‘Fair enough!’ Claire scooped some guacamole onto her fork. 

‘So, long term?’

Stef sighed, ‘I dunno.’ 

‘Not something you’ve talked about? I mean, it’s been about six months now.’

‘About that, since we met. We haven’t been seeing each other that long.’

‘You and Richard?’

‘Don’t change the subject!’ Claire poked a finger in Stef’s direction.

‘We both know it’s what you want to talk about,’ Stef waggled an eyebrow. 

‘When will Jared be here?’

‘Sunday,’ Stef replied dismissively. ‘Do I have the hotel room to myself tonight?’

Claire let a contented sigh escape her mouth around the glass, ‘Most likely.’

‘Sweet, I’ll definitely be having phone sex with Jared, so don’t come back.’

Claire giggled, slopping beer down the front of her dress.

‘Oh fuck, I’m so nervous now thinking about Richard walking through the door. I feel like a schoolgirl.’

Stef snorted, remembering the line from Jared’s favourite movie, ‘I feel like a schoolboy again, a schoolboy who desperately wants to make sweet, sweet love to you.’ She snorted again thinking how that line worked out for Harry, poor guy. 

Stef could sympathise, there were often times she was clumsy with words or even just her body. When they were teenagers, Oscar would (lovingly) call her a bonehead, though mostly ‘Steffy’, which evolved to Effie. 

‘You’re mind has wandered, where did you go?’

‘Oscar.’ Stef blurted.

‘Oscar? Can you see him from here?’ Claire raised her hand and began waving excitedly.

‘Who are you waving at?’ Stef craned her neck looking about the room.

‘Oscar!’ Claire shouted. 

‘Oh my fucking god.’ 

Oscar was standing in the doorway, dressed in black, looking suave as fuck. He smiled, waving back at Claire, his smile widening when he saw Stef gaping at him.

‘Did you know he was coming?’ 

‘No! Did you?’

‘Why would I know?’ Claire shimmied out of her seat to hug Oscar. 

‘Hey Claire, so good to see you, it’s been an age.’

‘I know! You look good.’

Stef stood up, pulling Oscar into a hug without looking at him. Too tight of a hug maybe, she heard him grumbling. 

‘You ok?’ He asked, putting a hand on her lower back.

‘Surprised to see you here, is all.’

‘Well, I had time off and someone invited me so I figured I’d come and see what was up.’

Sliding into the booth next to Stef, he ordered three more of the ridiculous sized beers. 

‘You staying for the whole weekend, then?’ Stef bit her lip while Oscar nodded. 

Shit, she thought. There’s no way in hell Oscar and Jared won’t run into each other. 

‘Is that not ok with you Ms. James?’ Oscar queried, hearing her sigh.

‘Sorry, I read that if you don’t sigh, you die. That’s why all the people in the early version of the iron lungs died…’ 

Shut the fuck up, Stef, she thought, taking a huge gulp from her beer.

Oscar frowned at her before turning to Claire. ‘So how’s your dude?’

‘Oh my god, did Stef you about it?’

‘Uh, no…you did…that night you both got hella drunk and called me.’

‘Wow, yes, that was a fun night… I think.’

While they were both laughing, Stef was thinking about how she could keep the two men away from each other. Or why she would want to in the first place. Was she ashamed of what she was doing? Of course she was. 

He had warned her it would get messy, she had disagreed. There were parts of her life she liked to keep away from each other, exes and new partners were definitely one of them. 

Stef was so caught up in her own thoughts, she didn’t realise Claire had left the table. 

Oscar nudged her. ‘So what’s up, you can tell me if you’re not happy to see me.’

His half smile belied how he really felt. It wasn’t the happiest greeting he’d ever had. 

‘I am happy to see you.’ She responded brightly.

‘But…’

‘But nothing, don’t be silly,’ leaning into him to brush her shoulder against his.

‘Ah ha, I know what’s going on.’

Stef raised her eyebrow, ‘you do?’

‘Mmhmm.’

Oscar didn’t say anything, putting both of his elbows on the table, he gulped down the last of his beer.

Stef waited for an explanation that never came. Once his beer was gone, Oscar stood up from the table and made to leave.

‘Don’t go!’ Stef reached for his hand, grabbing it just in time. 

‘I just want to go for a piss.’

‘Oh,’ Stef felt a little deflated. And foolish.

‘I’ll leave you and loverboy alone this weekend, I promise.’ Oscar said softly, brushing his fingers through his dark curls. 

‘I thought you were leaving coz I was being an asshole.’

‘Why are you worried we might be in the same place at the same time, there will be a couple thousand people here, the chances of us meeting are slim. And if I stay away from you, we will probably not even be in the same side of the hotel.’

‘I’m sorry. I’m just…can you sit down so I can explain, or should I stand up?’

Oscar huffed and sat down, her hand still wrapped around his.

‘You’re not an asshole…’

‘Well, I feel like one. I don’t want you guys to meet because I want to keep some things private.’

‘This is quite a public place to keep things private, Effie.’

‘I mean from you! There are some things I want to keep from you to keep myself sane.’

‘I don’t deserve all parts of your life.’

Stef agreed, just not out loud. It was true, he wasn’t her partner, he didn’t get to live every moment of her life with her.

‘I’ll be around, Stef.’

Sighing, Stef put her hand against her forehead, cursing herself. Why was she such a dick? It definitely wasn’t him, not this time.

Sitting alone for a few minutes before Claire came back, Stef held back the tears. She should go after him and apologise, but he was gone. The bar itself was now half empty, the convention was kicking off. 

‘You ok, girl? Where’s Oscar?’

‘We had a disagreement.’ Stef said, sadly.

‘Oh no. About what?’

‘I told him I wanted him to leave me alone this weekend without actually using those exact words.’

‘Stef!’ Claire scolded.

‘I know, I should get over it and hang with him.’

‘Well, check who he is here with first, you don’t wanna be third wheel.’

‘Do you think he’s here with a woman?’ 

‘Probably, come on, he’s Oscar Isaac, he has women throwing themselves at him all the time. All. The. Time.’

‘Yeah I got it. Thanks.’ Stef rolled her eyes.

‘Can I give you some advice?’ Claire was typing something into her phone. 

‘Sure.’

‘Stop giving a crap.’

‘Just like that?’

‘Yes. Just like that.’ Claire clicked her fingers. ‘You’re worrying about two men meeting. Two men that are crazy about you and fall over themselves to please you all the damn time. What’s the worst that could happen? They might take their shirts off and fight. But, seriously, you’re an adult, you’re not going to get into ‘trouble’ with anyone. If someone has a problem, tell them to fuck off.’

‘You’re right.’

‘I know I am. Now if you’re not going after Oscar to fall at his feet and plead with him to forget you’re a crazy, paranoid person, then help me face-time Dick.’

‘You don’t need my help with that.’

‘Then go find Oscar.’ Claire dismissed her friend with a wave.

The beer had gone to her head pretty quick. Or her legs, whichever. She was a little unsteady but she was wearing a pair of heels, terrible footwear for walking Stef always said. 

Oscar was not in the bar, he wasn’t in the foyer and she wouldn’t have a chance of finding him in the huge rooms now stuffed with people. 

After trying his phone and not getting an answer, she got caught on her way through the doors. A woman was waving and grinning. ‘Oh my god, I’m such a big fan. I can’t believe you’re here.’

‘Hey, thanks.’ Was all she could say. It was rare to be recognised, but in a place this busy there was a bigger chance of it happening.

‘Yeah, I came with a friend. It’s my first convention.’ 

‘Wow, are you here to support Jared?’ The fan asked, kindly.

‘Yes and no. I’ll hang with him when he gets here but I have always wanted to see what goes on at these places, huge chance of me going home with a case full of memorabilia I don’t need!’ 

‘You’re so cute, can I get a picture with you?’ The girl pulled out her phone.

‘Only if I can get a picture with you!’

Several clicks later, Stef asked that she be tagged in absolutely everything she takes pictures of this weekend. The fan was a sweet girl after all. You always need more sweet in your life, right?

The cool air rushed at her as she stepped out into the street, the sun was hanging low and bright in the sky. Hearing a whistle, she turned and found Oscar at the corner of the building across the street. He waved her over.

‘I thought you were giving up.’ Stef nodded to the cigarette hanging from his lips.

‘I thought you were giving up on me.’

‘Nah, I came to apologise.’

‘Oh really?’ Oscar laughed. He was always quick to let go of his bad moods. 

‘Yeah. I’m sorry. I’m a jerk.’

‘Don’t apologise.’

‘I just did. So can you live with me being an asshat?’

Oscar shrugged, his gaze hanging on her like the smoke that clings to your clothes well after the cigarette is gone.

‘I’m not worried about anyone meeting you. It’ll just be less embarrassing for me if you guys don’t meet. And it was nice seeing you showing up like that.’ Stef crossed her arms across her chest, looking at the ground rather than at him.

He still didn’t say anything, he was just looking at her and she hated it. He was dissecting her. When she finally met his eyes, she wondered if he was undressing her in his mind. She could never really tell with him. 

‘OK.’ He replied, simply, finishing his cigarette. ‘We’re both asshats. Can we enjoy the weekend together and not together?’ 

‘Yes.’ Stef walked towards him as he opened his arms to her. 

‘Are you here with somebody?’

‘I’m here with a few people.’

‘That’s not what I was asking.’ She felt Oscar chuckle. 

‘I’m here with someone and I’m here with a group of people too. So get out of here unless you meet and the world implodes.’ 

Stef shivered, rubbing her arms. She had left her jacket with Claire. ‘Oh god, I’ve left Claire in the bar.’

‘Oh no, that girl can’t handle herself, you should go to her rescue.’ Oscar said sarcastically, crossing the street back to the hotel.

‘Well, I didn’t think I’d be gone this long, I got stopped while I was looking for you.’

‘I haven’t been stopped yet.’

‘You’re super famous, so they’re probably afraid to approach you.’

‘It’s still early…’ his sentence was interrupted by someone shouting, no, screaming his name. Several women lunged at him, pushing cameras into his face. 

Stef offered to take some pictures for them, even being surprised when one of them asked her for a photo too.

She took a mental note to thank Jared for making her recognisable in the street. It hadn’t been her music, it had definitely been him.

Oscar walked her back to the bar, walking as quickly as they could through the throngs of people gathering everywhere.

Claire was in an embrace when they found their table. Stef cleared her throat, surprised to see Richard’s head duck out from behind Claire.

‘Hey!’

‘Wow, two surprises in one day!’ Stef grinned at Claire.

‘Right? I called him and he pretended to be getting ready but he was already here!’

Richard was eyeing Oscar.

‘Oscar, Richard. Richard, Oscar.’ It wasn’t really necessary to introduce them but it was polite.

‘Well, tickle me pink. I had no idea you were coming here together.’

‘We didn’t,’ Oscar and Stef spoke together.

‘Just met randomly, actually.’ Oscar offered.

Claire was wiping lipstick from Richard’s face. 

‘Are you joining us?’ Richard held his hand up for the server.

‘Why not.’ Oscar slid across the seat across from Richard, patting the empty space for Stef to sit next to him.

‘Great! Beers for all then.’

‘Yay!’ The giddiness from the couple opposite them was palpable. 

While they whispered and giggled with each other, Oscar leaned in, ‘we were like that as teenagers.’

Stef grinned. ‘We were. It’s cute isn’t it.’

Oscar sighed, ‘man I miss those days.’

‘Of carefree making out!’ He laughed, seeing Stef make a face.

‘And feeling you up behind the gym hall.’ A shiver ran up her spine as he leaned in close to whisper.

‘Oscar!’ She whispered back, scolding him. Squeezing her hand on his knee, making him jump and try to pull her hand way. 

‘Calm down there, you two.’ Richard winked at Stef when he saw her blushing.

This weekend is gonna be interesting, she thought.

***

Much like the previous hotel meeting, Jared was upon her before she had time to close the door. 

His mouth was on her neck, biting playfully. ‘Having a good time so far? I brought you a gift.’

‘Why?’

Jared presented a rose by putting it between his teeth and lifting her and physically throwing her onto the bed.

‘Jared!’

Stef was giggling so much she couldn’t form a sentence. Jared was busy stripping to music in his head.

There would be no calming him. He would come down in his own time. 

Once the excitement of seeing each other wore off, their clothes would be on the floor.

Jared lay next to her, running his hand along her hip, resting his long fingers against the cooling skin of her stomach. ‘It hasn’t even been that long since I’ve seen you but it feels too damn long.’ He complained.

‘I always say you’re insatiable.’ Stef propped herself up on her elbow, sweeping her fingers across the hair that fell into his face. He kissed her mouth, her chin, her eyelids. 

‘Thanks for coming, by the way.’

‘You made me come.’ 

Jared shuddered with laugher, ‘I meant to the convention. Get your mind out of the gutter, Stef!’

‘NEVER!’ 

Stef launched herself onto him, pinning his arms down, straddling him. Her strength was no match for his, he could pull out of her meagre grip easily. But was enjoying this. Stef was wiggling her hips, grinding her core against his balls. His cock twitching against his stomach.

‘You gonna ride me, pretty girl?’ 

‘Maybe.’ She teased, leaning over him. Her nipples grazing lightly against the hair on his chest, he groaned as she kissed him. ‘Please, never stop kissing me like you do.’ Jared lifted his hips to grind into her as she moved, rubbing her slick along his cock. 

Sliding her hand down the soft underside of his arm to his chest agonisingly slow, she sucked on his lower lip, pulling away for just a moment to see his face. His lips puckered, eyes closed. He looked beautiful, innocent even. 

Her hand reached between them, pushing at his cock with her fingers so she could angle him at her entrance. His mouth fell open slowly as she slid down onto him. 

Capturing her hands with his he pulled her flush against his chest, entwining their fingers over his head while she ground onto him. 

Jared put his feet flat on the mattress to get some leverage so he could thrust into her, slow and steady, allowing the pleasure to build.

They were kissing softly, with tongues, sucking noisily at each other when he came with soft groan, halting his hips while he was still buried deep inside her. 

‘I need your hands,’ she whispered against his jaw.

She was on her back, his fingers moving against her, inside her, his cum dripping from her swollen lips, he used it, pushing four of his fingers up against the front of her walls. She came hard, arching off the mattress, grabbing his hair. 

Both panting, sticky with sweat, they lay in silence. Jared’s phone rang.

He ignored it until the second call came in. ‘What the hell?’ he grumbled, getting off the bed, Using his ‘clean’ hand to pick up his phone. His eyes widened when he saw his messages. A few had pinged while they were fucking. 

‘What is it?’

Standing by the bed, gloriously naked, he cursed.

‘My family are here.’ 

‘At the hotel?’ Stef was pulling on her bathrobe. 

‘They’re at my door right now. Gen says she’s been knocking, she wants to know where I am.’

Jared ran to the bathroom, a string of curses following him. Stef heard him running the water for a minute before grabbing his clothes and dressing quicker than she’d ever seen.

‘I’m so sorry, Stef. I didn’t know they were coming.’

’S’okay.’

Jared huffed angrily and took a steady breath. ‘I have to go see them.’

Stef threw his beanie to him as he was grabbing for the door handle.

‘Thanks.’ 

As he opened the door, he turned on his heel and moved towards her, grabbing the back of her neck and kissed her quickly. ‘I’ll make it up to you.’

Stef nodded. He was out of sight before the door clicked closed behind him.

‘I hate surprises.’ Stef threw herself back onto the bed.


	20. A Thorn of Wisdom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stef and Claire try to enjoy themselves at the con.

_I risk a kiss. One kiss_

_One kiss!_

_I knew from then my life had died_

Stef sat alone pushing food around her plate.

Giving up, she pushed it away. The restaurant was empty, Claire had never showed. Dropping as good a tip as she could on the table, Stef gathered her things and stepped out into the crisp autumn afternoon. It was warmer than yesterday, which was lucky as she had only brought a light jacket.

Shades down over her eyes, she wandered the streets for a bit. Everyone was bustling around, enjoying themselves, convention goers were easy to spot; most of them were wearing some kind of geek-tastic garments.

Stef’s phone had been pinging in her purse the last half hour, but she didn’t bother checking it, if it were really important, they’d call.

Deciding to do something she hadn’t done in at least a decade, Stef found a bench in the local park and slipped on her headphones. The familiar sounds of Radiohead’s ‘Creep’ filled her ears. Elbows on her knees, she put her chin into her hands and watched the world go by.

There was couple not too far away, both looking at something on a phone and laughing and another in the distance being very, very handsy.

She thought of Jared’s hands, how they made every part of her feel small.

Can we stop thinking about Jared for five minutes? Stef scolded herself.

Turning up the song, she ignored her inner thoughts.

The sun was dipping lower in the sky and she was utterly alone in the park now.

Pulling her phone out of her pocket, she scrolled through the messages.

 **Claire:** Shit, sorry about lunch I went to the restaurant but you were gone.

 **Claire:** Where are you?

 **Claire:** You ok?

 **Darius:** Hope you’re having fun, buy me something with dads face on it

 **Jared:** Sorry about earlier, what you up to?

There was a missed call from Claire.

‘Hey bitch, whats up?’

‘Where are you?’

‘I’m walking out of the park right now, on my way back to the hotel.’

‘Are you on your own?’

Stef looked around, checking over her shoulder. ‘Yep.’

‘Where is it, we will come get you.’

‘It’s only, like, four blocks away.’

‘Hot young woman alone in a park, bitch, we are coming to get you before someone else does.’

‘Fine, I’ll wait by the hot dog stand.’

As Claire was hanging up, she could hear Richard getting an earful of abuse. Stef chuckled, Claire never put the crazy on a slow boil.

The hot dog stand seller was determined to sell a hot dog to Stef, trying to lure her in with the promise of the best mustard she’s ever had.

Telling him she was a vegetarian who hated mustard didn’t deter him.

She sighed with relief as an S.U.V. pulled up next to her, Claire’s hand beckoning her from the open window. Stef climbed into the back. She shook off the chill and the hot dog stink.

‘You ok, why did you just disappear? I was so worried.’

Claire had twisted around in her seat, a crease between her eyebrows as she scowled.

‘You didn’t show up for lunch, so I went for a walk.’

‘But you were gone for hours!’ She screeched.

‘Chill the fuck out, Claire.’

Richard was watching her in the rear view mirror.

‘Everyone was starting to freak out.’

Stef rolled her eyes, feeling like a teenager who had been caught breaking the law by a very disappointed parent.

‘What were you doing that you missed the dinner?’

‘I’ll tell you later,’ Claire huffed, back into her bad mood.

Stef pulled out her phone, desperate to ignore the tension.

 **Stef:** I’m heading back to the hotel now, been out enjoying the sights.

Jared saw the message straight away, typing back quick as a shot.

 **Jared:** I’m free for a half hour, can I come to your room?

 **Stef:** ok, but no funny business.

Pulling into the underground, Richard parked up and put a hand on Claire’s knee.

‘I’m calm. I’m sorry, I just got worried about her.’

Richard nodded quietly.

‘Sorry, I got snappy, Stef.’

Stef grabbed her friend as they walked to the elevator, pulling her into a crushing hug. ‘I know you love me, sorry I didn’t contact you. I just needed a bit of head space.’

Claire took her hand, the other already in Richard’s. The three of them stood in the elevator in silence. Breaking apart when the doors slid open on Stef’s floor.

‘I’ll meet up with you guys in a bit.’

Claire wiggled in her fingers in farewell as Stef made her way down the hall.

Jared was leaning against the wall, ankles crossed.

So goddamn cute, Stef thought.

He stood to his full height when he saw her coming toward him, leaning in for a quick kiss on the cheek. ‘You good?’ He asked, pinching her chin between his thumb and forefinger.

‘Yeah, I’m good. Wanna come in?’ It was a useless question, he was on her heels as she opened the door.

She plonked herself onto the bed, taking off her boots. Jared sat on the edge of the desk, his arms folded across his chest, brows furrowed.

‘If you have something to say, please say it.’ Stef huffed.

Jared raised his eyebrows in surprise, ‘yeah so I understand you’re not happy with how this weekend worked out and I get it, I’m not either.’

‘It’s one thing of many that has me unhappy right now, let’s not lay all the blame on you.’

Jared blew hard through his nose, Stef wasn’t sure if he was mirthless laugh or one of those noises her father would make when he was about to say something sarcastic.

‘They come first, Stef, I’m sorry.’ Jared shook his head, looking down at the floor.

‘I know, Jared.’ Her voice was steady, this conversation had happened more than once, on her side at least. Her son was always more important than any person she dated. A lot of them hated it.

‘I have my own family, I get it.’

He still wasn’t looking at her. Stef moved toward him, their height difference more obvious now that she was barefoot, she just reached his shoulder.

Placing her hands on either side of his face, the stubble scrubbing against her palms as he put on a smile for her.

‘I don’t like that you’re unhappy, but I can’t do anything about it right now.’

Jared leaned his forehead against hers, still holding himself.

‘You can make it up to me another time,’ Stef stroked his face gently.

His hazel eyes finally met hers. He was sad. It wasn’t just this. Something else was eating at him.

‘What is it?’

She felt his hands reaching under her blouse, lifting it slightly so he could rest them against her hips. His skin was hot. Always so hot.

‘I wanted a weekend with just you and me, somewhere not hidden away and I think….I think my wife knew that and that’s why she came.’

Stef kissed his dimples, each in turn. She kissed his eyelids and his brow, holding him against her shoulder. They held each other in silence.

‘If your smell could rub off on me, that would be great.’ Stef placed a kiss on his hairline.

Jared chuckled, ‘I’ll rub off you like a cat, I can leave some hair if you want.’

‘Oh, your hair is already on the sheets. I found one inside the sleeve of my jacket earlier.’

Jared hummed against her neck, kissing down to her collarbone. ‘Are you coming to the Q&A?’

‘I promised I would.’

‘That was before,’ his voice came from her bosom, his nose nudging at her cleavage.

‘I’m still going. Claire missed lunch so I think I will make her buy the drinks for the night.’

‘You flying back tomorrow with a hangover?’

‘Fuck yes!’ Stef groaned, knowing it was going to be hellish going back home with Claire and no Richard.

‘Damn, that’s a long flight, that makes me feel worse now I couldn’t spend more time with you.’

‘Ah, I can hang with my friends, don’t worry, I’m a big girl, I don’t need that much entertaining.’

Jared sighed, checking his watch. ‘I gotta go before I start getting panicked phone calls from Jensen. See you down there?’

Stef pressed her lips into a tight smile, scrunching her face. ‘I’ll see you but uh, probably not a great idea to be hanging around you!’

Jared, who was half way to kissing her face, paused, peering at her with one eye closed. ‘You’re right. So, kiss me quick.’

Stef obeyed, an open mouth kiss with a flick of tongue before pulling away.

‘Nuh-uh,’ Jared responded by putting a hand into her hair and holding her; his mouth on hers for a deeper kiss. She knew he hadn’t had his fill but had to detach himself. His phone started to ring.

‘Fuck me, leave me alone for five minutes.’

Answering the call, he gave Stef a wink, hugging her quick with one arm.

And just like that he was gone again.

***

The hall was packed tight. A queue wound its way from the stage all the way down to the back of the room and around the other side. Stef stood next to Claire who was craning her neck constantly to get a view of Richard on stage. There was no use in telling her to stop, Stef knew she wouldn’t.

Everyone on stage was in great spirits, livening up the crowd easily. Some dancing, some singing. Then the questions came, Jensen as usual, played a serious version of himself, mostly to make Jared look like more of a goof than he already was.

It was the first time Stef got to see him as the adored person he was, his personality really was perfect for it. Throwing his legs over the back of the chair, his hands running through his hair every few minutes.

Jared chewed his gum with his mouth open, Stef remembered telling Darius not to do that; her mother would yell at her for doing it.

‘Can you believe I’m fucking that guy,’ Stef whispered to Claire.

Claire bit her lip, looking from Jared to Stef. ‘Lucky bitch.’

I am, Stef figured. Massive shoulders, strong arms, abs you could wash your clothes on, a cute ass and dimples? Not to mention a great sense of humor, Stef could never resist a guy who could make her laugh.

He was an impressive totem. And he was entertaining this crowd, screaming like a bunch of girls at a boy band every time they did, well, anything!

Stef made a note to try watch all of Supernatural, it was a show she had dipped in and out of through the years. She was terrible at keeping up with tv, making an exception for anything Oscar was in. Sometimes when Darius was younger, they would curl up on the sofa and watch him with bowls of popcorn, ready to call Oscar and rate his performance, a call Oscar said he always looked forward to.

Somehow, she thought, Jared may not feel the same way about that situation.

After the screams and laughter died down, a girl stepped up to the microphone.

‘My question is for Jared. Since starring in a music video, do you think you’ll do it again? Coz it was so sexy.’

Jared put a hand to his brow, Jensen was looking at his friend, doing his best to stifle a laugh.

Eventually Jared put the microphone to his mouth, ’No!’

‘Why not?!’ The girl squeaked.

‘Because that was special!’ Jared swung around in his chair, doing a 360 turn. Jensen continued looking at him, no expression on his face, microphone poised to say something.

‘Aww c’mon,’ the girl teased.

Stef could feel the heat rising in her cheeks, Claire was giggling next to her.

‘It was fun and yeah, I dig the music. But if I do it all the time, it won’t be special anymore.’

There was a wave of disappointed noises from the crowd.

‘They’re hungry for you, buddy.’ Jensen’s voice rippled across the room, followed by loud cheers.

Stef wished she could slip out of the room, unseen. But if she were noticed now, it would be awkward. So she sat still. At least Claire was here.

Claire seemed to feel her friends discomfort, sliding a hand into hers, she held on tight, not taking her eyes off stage.

Richard was at the side of the stage chatting a little to someone next to him, laughing at Jensen who was now making fun of Jared.

Jared was sweating more than usual, Stef could see it glistening on his neck. He was shaking his head, hair falling into his face.

‘Two videos wasn’t enough for you guys?’ Jared held his hands up.

The answer was predictable. ‘Ok, ok. I can ask to be in another one. But you guys have to be nice, maybe it’ll happen.’

After the cacophony of excited noises died down, more questions were asked. Then the hour was up.

Claire was scrolling through her messages.

‘Hey,’ she whispered, ‘Rich just text me, he says he has a pass for you to go backstage.’

‘Isn’t his wife backstage?’ Stef huffed.

Claire shrugged, ‘Jared says he has a few minutes spare and he wants to show you something.’

’What the fuck does he want to show me?’

‘I don’t know, bitch. Rich says go see him at the side door.’

‘When?’

‘Now!’ Claire waved her away, replying to Rich’s wall of text.

‘There she is.’ Rich waited until Stef was close enough to pass a lanyard to her. ‘Keep hold of that and follow me.’

Stef stayed behind him, walking through a hallway, past closed doors. Finally, stopping by a room that had chairs piled up outside. ‘Wait in there.’

Rich closed the door behind her, there wasn’t much in this room. It looked like storage for just about everything they had forgotten about. Stef for a moment thought this was a trick and that Jared was going to jump out and frighten her.

A door opened on the far side of the room and Jared stuck his head in. ‘Hey,’ he whispered.

‘Hey, yourself. What’s with the cloak and dagger?’

Jared turned and looked behind his shoulder, quickly moving into the room and closing the door softly.

‘C’mere,’ raising to fingers at her, curling them in beckoning motion.

‘Why are we whispering?’

‘Coz my family are in the next room, but I needed to see you.’

His thumb landed on her jaw as she made it across the room to him. ‘I knew they would ask about you but it still got me feelin’ like a kid, I was a little embarrassed.’

‘I got that,’ Stef gave him a half smile.

Jared ducked his head and kissed her softly. ‘What’s up?’

‘Sneaking around.’ She said simply.

‘I know, it’s not ideal, but I’ll take what I can get.’ Grabbing her waist he pulled her closer to him. Smothering her mouth with kisses, she hardly had time to draw breath before he was dipping in for more, holding her face tight in his hands.

He was groping down her her ass, cupping her flesh under her skirt, closing the distance between them. ‘Do you want to do this here?’ Stef gasped.

He answered by turning her around, twirling her hair in his hand and moving it over her shoulder. Running his mouth along the exposed flesh of her neck.

Feeling Jared press against her, she leaned into him. He was breathing her in, smelling her hair, her skin. Causing her to tingle all over.

‘What are you doing?’ she murmured, wishing he wouldn’t stop but aware that there were people in the next room. If someone were to come out and see them…

‘Shhhh,’ Jared brought a large hand to her mouth, keeping it there as he pushed her further into the corner, it was darker there at least, a little out of the way of the door.

‘Do you want me to take you right here?’ He whispered, taking her ear gently between his teeth. The sensation weakened her, he felt her losing control, regaining it almost straight away, worried they would be caught.

The way Jared was feeling right now, it would be over quick.

‘Jared, don’t.’ Stef whispered, placing her hands against the wall to steady herself, all the while bucking her hips back to grind her ass into his crotch.

‘Don’t?’ He teased, ‘coz your body is telling me you want it. You want me to fuck you right now?’ His hands ran down the front of her blouse, slipping his fingers inside her bra, pinching her nipples until she cried out, Jared put a hand over her mouth, a little rougher this time. ‘I won’t tell you again, keep it down.’ He warned.

Stef could feel her wetness moving down to her thighs now. The feel of his hands on her, forcing her to do what he wanted, it made her so hot.

Jared took his hands from her breasts, giving the nipples final hard tug before bringing his hand to her skirt, lifting it and pulling her panties down past her ass cheeks, just enough room for him to slip his hands between her legs to her sex. Dipping his fingers in to feel how wet she was, he licked his fingers, moaning softly. ‘I wish we had time to do more, baby. Maybe later,’ he pulled her head back so it was resting on his chest. ‘Stick your ass out for me a little more,’ he commanded, his voice barely above a whisper. But she read his tone, he was not to be disobeyed.

Putting his hands between her legs again he pushed at her thighs, ‘Open.’

‘Open!’ he said through gritted teeth when she didn’t immediately move her legs apart for him.

Stef heard the clink of his belt before feeling the heat of him. He was pushing into her already. The feel of him filling her up without warning made her groan, nipping as his fingers.

‘You feel amazing, baby.’ He bit at her neck, trying to hold back his own wanton moans.

Keeping one hand on the wall for support, Stef brought her hand to her pussy, placing a finger on either side of his cock as he rutted into her. She managed to brush against his balls, which made him thrust harder. Both of them trying not to make a sound.

‘Stop it,’ Jared said, but made no move to push her hand away, he let her continue to touch herself.

There was movement from the other room, running footsteps nearing the door before a voice called them back.

Jared pushed Stef up so she was crushed against the wall with no room to move. With her head still resting on his chest, he could look down at her and see her eyes fluttering, a sure sign she was close.

‘You want to cum, baby?’

Stef muttered something he couldn’t hear, so he grabbed her ass and dug his fingers into the flesh, knowing she loved the feeling of it.

‘You can’t make a sound, do you hear me? If I let you cum, you’ll have to be real quiet.’

Stef looked up at him as tears were beginning to fill up her eyes from the brutal thrusts he was laying into her. She could have come several times over but she was too afraid someone would hear her. If he touched her clit, she’d be done.

But he didn’t. Instead he bit down onto her neck, hard. She cried out with the pain and bit into his hand, without thinking. Jared cursed and pulled his hand away from her face, grabbing her ponytail. Clenching her teeth, she came. He watched her face scrunch up and relax, her mouth slack and falling into an o shape.

Placing a hand against her neck, he continued pounding into her, loving the feeling of her clenching around his cock.

He followed close behind, there was no possibility of him pulling out, the orgasm was too intense. Pushing his hips right up against her ass, he stopped moving. One hand on her throat, the other on her ass, he tried to steady his breathing, she was gasping for air along with him.

There were voices coming towards them. Jared pulled out and pushed her skirt down, quickly redoing his buttons and belt.

Cheeks flushed and breathing hard, they both stood to wait for the voices to pass them.

Jared sighed with relief and checked Stef, giving her a look that asked if she was ok. He could see she was shaking a little bit.

‘Sit down,’ he pulled a chair towards her.

‘Fuck,’ Stef tried to fix her hair a little. ‘Do I look ok?’

‘You look beautiful.’ Jared smiled at her, running his hands along her thighs.

‘Do I?’ Stef began fixing her blouse, finding that her nipple was still freed from her bra.

‘You look like a woman who just got fucked the way she likes it.’ Jared stilled her hands. ‘Stop fixing yourself, you’re perfect.’

‘I need a bathroom.’ Stef sat back into the chair, motioning towards her ruined panties.

Jared grimaced, ‘Sorry.’

‘It’s ok, it was hot.’ Stef crushed his face playfully with one hand and placed a kiss on his mouth.

When she left the room, she heard children running across the floor towards him.

‘Daddy, where you been?’

Stef giggled, hearing Jared grumbling an excuse, he had gotten stuck into something and had lost track of time.


	21. Let Me Twist It A Little Deeper

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stef is not having the best time at the con.

Everything was packed and ready to go. Stef lay in bed, unable to switch off the noise of the day.

‘Come on, Stef, go asleep,’ she told herself. Pushing off the covers and pulling them back on again. Tossing and turning didn’t cover how much she had moved around. 

Finally, she gave up. Grabbing her phone from her bedside table. 4am. 

Claire was staying with Richard. Jared was with his family and who knows where Oscar was. 

She scrolled through insta for a while, seeing all the photos fans had shared from the previous day. A headache was forming behind her eyes, it was gonna be one of the bad ones, she knew. 

‘Fucking sleep!’ Stef cursed. Only one thing left to try. Reaching down under the sheets, Stef rolled her fingers around her clit, the first thought that came to her mind was Jared on stage, smiling and joking. The next thought was him shirtless, the last time he was in her bedroom, jeans hanging low on his hips, arm muscles bulging while he fished around on the floor for his clothes. 

Breathing out a soft groan, Stef continued, fingers finding her opening hot and wet. She slid inside, one finger. Jared breathing on her neck, sucking soft kisses against her jaw, his voice in her ear, ‘c’mon Stef, give it to me.’ 

It was a phrase he liked to use when he was in a playful mood, she would relinquish control of her pleasure to him. When he took control of her, his hands, his mouth, his voice would be everywhere, all over her. His mouth humming against her in the most delicious way. And she would ride waves of pleasure. 

Stef felt her walls contracting around her finger, her body trembling and finally stilled as she drifted into a disturbed and dream filled sleep.

_Oscar had taken her by the hand, dragging her through the crowds, ‘look at them!’ he kept yelling over his shoulder. ‘Let go of me, I can’t go with you.’ Stef tried to twist her arm from his grip. They stopped at the stage where the Q &A had been. Jared sat with his wife in his lap, giggling with her between kisses. Instant fiery hot jealousy raged through her. ‘Look at them!’ Oscar said again. His dark eyes on the couple that were wrapped up in each other. Stef drew her gaze away, unable to look at anymore. Oscar didn’t flinch when Stef waved her hand in front of his face, he was in a daze, his mouth open in a soft smile. ‘Help me get away.’ Stef shouted. Jared started, seeing Stef below him. ‘No wait, come back.’ He begged. _

_Stef was running, the carpet beneath her bare feet was turning into steps too high for her to climb, she couldn’t run hard enough to get away. An arm caught her as she tumbled._

_Stef couldn’t hold back her tears, burying her face in the chest of the man holding her up._

Stef woke suddenly, throwing the blankets away. Running her hands down her face, she glanced at herself in the mirror across the room. She was perspiring, hair was clinging to her neck. ‘What the actual fuck?’ 

Stef didn’t dream much, but that one made her feel sick to her stomach.

Wiping the bathroom mirror clean after a hotter than hell shower, Stef looked at her face, wanting the woman looking back at her to settle her nerves, tell her she wasn’t being an idiot, it went with the territory. 

Why are you really fucking surprised, was all she said. 

Stef sat on the side of the bath tub and cried. 

Claire had done her best to make up for not being around. When she finally got around to coming back to the hotel room they were sharing, Stef was dressed and fresh faced.

‘Did you sleep?’ Claire rummaged through her bag looking for clean clothes.

‘Not much. I bet it’s pointless to ask if you got sleep last night.’ Stef winked seeing Claire trying to hide a coy smile.

‘I have to shower but then we are definitely having breakfast. There is a thing on later that I wanna check out but I’ll be back before lunch and then we can head back to the airport, k?’ 

Claire was being overly nice, her voice raising a little higher with every sentence.

‘Richard wouldn’t happen to be doing the thing you’re interested in, is he?’ Stef finished applying a second layer of mascara. 

‘Maybe,’ Claire elongated the word, disappearing into the bathroom.

Stef’s phone beeped. Picking it up she saw a message from Jared.

 **Jared:** Good morning sweet thang. x

Stef put the phone back down and checked herself in the mirror. Heaving a sigh, she gathered herself, put on a smile and bent to put on her Nike’s. There would be more walking today, it called for comfortable footwear. Her jeans were loose around her waist, she hadn’t realised she had lost some weight. Not too much to be noticeable she thought. 

Claire was singing in the shower. Stef chuckled, hearing it was one of her older songs, Claire loved the band Stef was taking a break from.

 _Shit_ , she thought, remembering one of the members had called her a couple of days previous to ask when she was available to meet up.

Every year or so they would meet, see what was going on with each other and decide if they would do new music or not. 

Hitting the call button, her old friend answered straight away.

‘Hey, Stef! How are you?’

‘Sorry I kinda forgot to call you back, Nik, I’m in Toronto right now.’

‘Yeah, I was talking to Oscar yesterday he told me he ran into you over there. Having fun?’

‘The most fun,’ she lied. 

‘We are meeting Friday night at that bar you hate.’ Nik blew smoke down the phone. Stef knew the sounds of him inhaling and exhaling like his life depended on that one cigarette.

‘I’ll be there.’

‘Great!’ He did sound excited. Stef smiled, excited to catch up with them.

‘Gotta go, I’ll get the details from you during the week.’

‘For sure. Later, Stef.’

‘Was that Jared?’ Claire peeked out from behind the bathroom door, steam billowing behind her. Strands of dark red hair plastered against her face.

‘Nah. Nik. Band meeting.’

‘Oh,’ Claire seemed a little disappointed. ‘Will you see Jared before we leave?’ Her voice kept on the side of casual/hopeful instead of the misery Stef felt creeping into her bones. 

‘I’d like to think so, but, with his family showing up I don’t know if he can get away.’

Stef didn’t have to hear Claire tutting from the bathroom to know how she felt about it. 

Stef looked at her phone as it pinged again. 

Jared had sent a very close up selfie. Laughing, she replied.

 **Stef:** Good morning, Jared. How are you today?

 **Jared:** Tired. Glad this con is almost over. Photo ops at 2, you gonna be around?

 **Stef:** Yep, can swing by before we leave. 

Jared replied with a few celebratory emojis. 

‘Claire, come on, I’m hungry.’

‘Go down without me, I’ll be right behind you.’ Claire was brushing her teeth furiously.

Ok, Stef shrugged.

Filling her plate with as much food as possible, Stef was trying to figure out how to use the coffee machine when someone brushed past her, nudging her elbow, sending a piece of toast sliding off into the mug she had managed to fill with a watery mix of milk and coffee.

‘Sorry,’ a soft voice came. Stef turned to say it was cool when she met the woman’s eyes. 

‘It-it’s fine,’ Stef stammered, her eyes glued to the beautiful brown eyes staring up at her. It was Jared’s wife.

 _Fuck_ , Stef thought. 

‘You’re uhm, you’re…’ Gen tried to find a way to say her name without owning that this was the woman her husband was fucking. 

‘Yeah,’ was all Stef managed to say. 

‘Well, you’ve made him a happier man. When he comes home to us.’ Gen said graciously, putting a hand on the shoulder of a boy standing next to her, gaping up at Stef.

He had Jered’s eyes and my god, he had Jared’s hair. Stef swallowed hard, what could she say to that?

’Nice to meet you, anyway.’ 

Gen gave Stef a smile and taking her son by the hand, led him away. Stef closed her eyes, her mouth dry like a fucking desert. Suddenly, the coffee didn’t seem so important. But, there was a queue building up behind her.

‘Go ahead, I can’t seem to work it,’ Stef moved away from the person waiting patiently next to her. Rubbing her nose with her hand, she cleared her throat, not sure where to look or what to do. Fearful of moving her eyes across the room in case she were to see Jared’s family again or worse, Jared himself. She couldn’t face him now. 

Claire arrived, hair swinging, bosom bouncing, a huge grin on her face. ‘Hey did you get me coffee?’ 

Her smile turned to a horrified look, ‘you ok?’ Rubbing Stef’s shoulder. ‘You gonna puke?’

‘Maybe,’ Stef replied, ‘Can we grab a seat?’

Finding a small table hidden behind a huge, ugly plant, Stef told Claire what had just happened.

‘So she thanked you for sleeping with her husband? She’s a better woman than I would be.’

‘Claire!’ Stef pinched the bridge of her nose, the toast on her plate now finding its way to Claire’s mouth.

‘What?’ the redhead replied, ‘She could have ignored you, or punched you, or made a scene, but she didn’t. Sounds like she was just as shocked to bump into you.’

Stef nodded, her brow furrowed. ‘My life is not normal. This is getting awkward.’

‘This is probably the only time you will ever meet her or even see her, just chill.’

Stef blew out a breath, rubbing her sweaty hands against her jeans. 

‘I’m gonna get you a coffee and a chocolate croissant, then we can go see Richard. He will make you laugh and forget your troubles.’

Stef groaned.

‘Now that was my attitude when I first came to the con, you changed my mind. C’mon.’

‘Is it bad that I want a Margarita for breakfast?’

‘Yes, it is, this situation is not that bad.’

***

Claire hadn’t let Stef hide away in the room, which was a good thing. The convention was so big, the chances of her running into Gen again were slim, but Stef kept looking over her shoulder anyway. She regretted agreeing to see Jared at the photo op’s, but bit the bullet - well, asking Richard to scope out the room first and waiting for him to come back and confirm it was mostly Padalecki-free. 

Stef had never seen this section of a convention before, people lining up to take silly/well thought out pictures with Jared and Jensen. 

Jensen smiled and nodded when he saw Stef waiting off to the side. He leaned in to say something to Jared, who turned his head so quickly in her direction, his hair flipped into Jensen’s face, hitting his friend in the eye. The people close enough to see roared with laughter. Jared was falling over himself apologising to Jensen, clapping him on the back with his huge hand, winking over at Stef. 

‘I see why you like him,’ the familiar voice next to her made her smile. ’Tall, handsome, funny. I’d hit it.’

‘Oscar,’ Stef scolded softly. He was alone, standing with his hands in his pockets.

‘Where’s your date?’

Oscar made a dismissive sound, ’She bounced, I’m really good at making people feel unwanted, apparently. It’s a talent, it would seem.’

‘She left?’ Stef shook her head, laughing. 

‘Yes, she did. She said I wasn’t emotionally available.’ Leaning in so that only Stef would hear. ‘I’m kinda glad, she was jealous about everything.’

‘You’re not into chicks that are fawning over you?’ Stef bit her lower lip.

‘Nah, maybe I just didn’t like her.’

‘You heading home today?’ 

‘Yeah, you?’

‘You don’t sound excited.’ Stef was watching a couple set up their photo, within seconds their experience was over. A fleeting moment that would stay with them forever. 

Jared made eye contact with her and pulled one side of his mouth into a grin, looking over Oscar quickly and greeting the next in line. 

‘Want me to get out of your hair?’ Oscar murmured. 

‘No,’ Stef hooked her arm into his, changing the direction so she was walking away from Jared’s line of sight.

‘We haven’t had time to hang much at all.’

‘You want to hang with me?’ 

‘Yeah.’ Stef squeezed his arm. Oscar’s chest puffed out a little. 

‘What’ll we do then.’

‘I saw a stall with some stuff that had your Star Wars guy, Darius specifically requested something with your face on it.’

Pushing his tongue between his teeth, Oscar threw his head back to laugh. 

‘Why the fuck not, let’s buy my own merchandise.’

***

 **Jared:** Where did you go? Photo ops just done.

 **Stef:** Just grabbing a drink, you want one?

 **Jared:** I’ll meet you in the bar, I’ll be about 5 minutes.

‘Is that him?’ Oscar eyed her over his drink, taking a long gulp and sighing. 

‘Yes, he’ll be down here in a few minutes.’ Stef put a hand on his arm. He had rolled up his shirt sleeves. One fist resting on his hip and he cocked an eyebrow, glancing around the room, he looked too hot. Stef had to check herself.

‘Why are you looking at me like that?’ He said, not looking at her, his eyes resting on a pair of blondes sitting at the opposite end of the bar.

‘Like what? I don’t want you to go if that’s what you mean.’ Stef pouted.

‘No, you’re looking at me like I’m lunch.’

Stef opened her mouth to laugh, involuntarily spitting her drink across his lap.

‘Oh shit, I’m so sorry.’

Oscar brushed the droplets away, laughing too much to form a coherent sentence. ‘I didn’t think it would have that effect.’

Wiping her chin with a napkin, she eyed him curiously.’ What kind of reaction did you think you would get?’

‘I dunno, I thought it might make you argue with me.’

‘You want an argument?’ 

’Nah, I just wanted to wind you up a little before your dude gets here.’

‘ _My dude_ , as you say, is already here.’ Stef raised her eyebrows in greeting as Jared made his way toward them. Oscar turned his head, not bothering to adjust how he was sitting, legs splayed open, knees on the outside of Stef’s, keeping her sitting in place at the bar. 

‘Hey,’ Jared said softly, tucking hair behind his ear. 

‘Hi,’ Stef grinned up at him. He was nervous, shifty. 

‘I guess I should formally introduce you both.’

They did that thing that men do when they don’t think women notice, they were eyeing each other, sizing each other up. Shaking hands and making pleasantries. Neither spoke, waiting for Stef to break the ice.

‘We will be leaving after lunch.’

‘Isn’t lunch, like, right now.’ Jared checked his watch.

‘Shit is is. Where the hell is Claire??’ Stef reached into her bag and checked her phone. No messages. Typical.

‘I cannot trust that woman around Richard, my god!’ Stef huffed, pressing the call button and listening to the tone on the other end, knowing Claire wouldn’t be picking up.

‘She could be back in the room.’

Oscar was half grinning, a knowing look on his face. ‘Better go check, you don’t wanna miss your flight again.’

‘Again?’ Jared was looking incredibly awkward now. 

‘Oh, Claire has made Effie miss a couple of flights over the years. She almost missed a video shoot her band was doing in Italy.’ 

‘Oh don’t remind me, that woman causes me stress I could do without.’ Giving up on the idea of Claire picking up her damn phone.

‘I gotta head back up to the room anyway, we will be leaving soon too.’ 

Jared put a hand gently on Stef’s elbow, hoping to get her up off her seat and away from Oscar. 

‘Yeah I’ll walk with you,’ turning to Oscar, placing a beer mat on top of her glass. ‘Mind my spot for a few minutes?’ 

Oscar nodded, turning his attention back to the blondes at the bar.

‘Nice to meet you, man.’ Jared offered Oscar his hand, the shorter man taking it, ‘You too, finally.’ Oscar winked at Stef as she walked away.

Stepping into the elevator, they were finally alone. Jared grabbed her waist, drawing her to him. ‘Damn, I’ve wanted to kiss you all fucking day.’ His teeth were nipping at her lips, teasing. Stef stood on her tip toes, trying to reach his mouth. ‘Kiss me then.’

Jared groaned when their lips met. It wasn’t long enough. The doors were opening on her floor. He took her hand in his, leading her down the hall. Stef was looking down at her small hand wrapped in his. ‘That ok?’ He squeezed her fingers.

‘Yeah, just surprising.’ 

Jared shrugged, stepping behind her as she slid the key card into the hotel room door. They were greeted with two naked bodies writhing on the bed. 

‘Oh god!’ Stef covered her face, unable to tear her eyes away from Richard’s naked ass bouncing as he pummelled into Claire.

Pulling the door closed with a bang, she covered her face, eyes wide. ‘How can I un see that?’ She gasped, laughing so much she thought she would puke.

Jared was on his knees, unable to speak. 

It took a few minutes for them to calm down, Richard’s frantic cries of ‘are you guys still out there?’ made the situation worse. Neither Stef nor Jared could answer him.

Jared had managed to drop his gum onto the carpet, causing him to laugh even more.

‘Don’t put that back in your mouth.’ 

‘That’s what she said.’

‘Oh Jared, please stop, I’m in pain from laughing.’

A large hand was on her back, her face was suddenly crushed into his chest. He was gasping for air like he had run a race. 

‘Well that’s put a good ending to a rough weekend.’ Jared was wiping tears from his eyes.

Stef remembered running into Gen earlier in the day, her stomach twisting with guilt. Or maybe it was jealousy. Or a sickening mixture of both.

Swallowing, she looked up at Jared.

‘What’s up, babe?’ 

‘Nothing.’ She lied, kissing him gently on the mouth.

‘You sure?’

‘Yeah, I’ll just miss you is all.’

‘You have good company downstairs, Oscar is keeping your seat for you at the bar.’

‘Jared…’ Stef wanted to explain what had happened earlier, but he cut her off with another kiss.

‘I’ll call you tomorrow, I’ll be back home. After the kids go to bed. Sound good?’

’Sounds good.’ Stef agreed, unable to hide the disappointment in her eyes at how this weekend had panned out. 

Richard opened the door, having dressed himself in a hurry. ‘Come on, man.’ he said to Jared, pushing past them, his cheeks flushed, hair tossed from Claire’s fingers. 

‘Gotta go.’ Jared kissed her quick and left, following Richard down the hall. 

Stef stuck her head in the door, ‘you decent?’

‘Doesn’t matter, you saw everything just now.’ Claire wasn’t half as bashful as Richard. 

‘Oscar is waiting for me at the bar. Meet us down there?’

‘Let me just fix my sex hair and I’ll be down.’

When Stef made it back down to the bar, she saw Oscar talking to a woman. She was hitting his arm and laughing. It was fake. Everything about her was. You can spot when someone wants someone because of their fame, and this was one of those vacuous women.

Stef put her arm between them to get her drink. ‘Oh hey, you’re back.’ Oscar looked happy at her reappearance. 

She was one of the blondes he had been ogling. His face said ‘please help.’ And while Stef would usually have left him to it, she decided on this occasion to do a good deed. 

’I’m Stef,’ she said, sticking her hand out for the stranger, who took it, gingerly.

‘Sorry, are you with him?’ She asked, pointing a talon at Oscar’s chest.

‘Yeah,’ Stef said simply.

The blonde looked her up and down, taking in the old Nike’s, loose jeans and band t-shirt. 

‘Call me,’ she mouthed to Oscar, swaying back toward her friend. 

‘Do not call her.’ Stef warned, sliding back onto the barstool, her legs fitting snuggly between Oscar’s again.

‘Just filling the time til you came back,’ Oscar sighed, leaning his torso toward her.

‘You look flushed, what’s up.’

‘I just caught Claire and Richard fucking.’ Stef looked at him, wide eyed and excited. 

Oscar put a hand over his mouth, his nose scrunched up as he laughed. ‘No fucking way.’

Stef finished off her beer in one gulp. ‘Buy me another one and I’ll describe Richard’s ass to you.’

‘Oh fuck, please don’t. But, I’ll definitely buy you another drink.’ Oscar winked, turning to grab the barman’s attention.

Butterflies. He had given her butterflies with that look.

 _Fuck_ , she thought


	22. The Nights Ablaze and So Am I

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stef and Jared go to a masquerade.

‘Its a party, you’ve been to one before.’ Jared’s voice came from the bathroom, where he had been making far too much noise the past few minutes.

‘Hmm,’ Stef replied, running her hands along her hips, the gown she chose for tonight hugged her in all the right places. Considering herself for a minute, she decided to stop being so hard on herself, she looked hot. Nodding in agreement with herself, she sat on the edge of the bed to pull on her heels, these were new. She would be towering over Oscar if she wore them on a date with him, but tonight she would be with Jared. A girl didn’t have to worry about what heels she wore with him. Tying the ribbon across her calf, she stole another look at herself. These shoes were so pretty, they were black satin with a killer stiletto heel. 

‘You ok out there?’ Jared called, still banging things against the sink.

‘Yep,’ Stef stood and walked around the bed, testing the shoes. She wouldn’t last all night in them. There was no way. Women who could walk in heels were warriors in Stef’s eyes, they had always been a little too painful for her. 

‘Beauty shouldn’t be painful.’ She said, loud enough for Jared to hear. 

‘You’re so beautiful you hurt my feelings,’ Jared responded.

Stef snorted with laughter, ‘oh shut the fuck up.’

She could hear him chuckling in the bathroom, the sound echoing off the tiled walls. 

‘You ready?’ Jared stepped out of the bathroom and paused, his jaw dropping ever so slightly when he saw her. Recovering with a loud swallow he ran a hand along his mouth, ‘well you look…’ he couldn’t think of the right word. 

‘I look…’ Stef fished for the words.

‘Delectable, stunning, beautiful…like I wanna rip the dress off and take you right here.’ Jared offered, walking toward her, slowly dropping his hand against her ass, pulling the satin material aside, revealing the slit that ran up her thigh.

‘My god.’ He said, his half lidded eyes drinking her in.

‘We don’t have to go to the party,’ he whispered.

Stef smiled, putting her hand over his and pushing it away. ‘You can look but don’t touch. At least til later.’

Jared whimpered as she turned away, watching her hips sway, one hand on the door handle. ‘Come on, you don’t want to be late!’ 

Jared pouted, ‘how can I go outside, other people will look at you and try steal you from me.’

Stef tutted, ‘get your ass into the car Jared, or I’ll tie you to the bed and leave you there for the night.’

‘Oh you would, huh?’ 

‘And I’d send you pictures of me hanging out with your friends.’

‘Hmmm,’ Jared’s pupils were blown wide with lust, there was no mistaking the erection forming in his pants. 

‘Sitting in Jensen’s lap maybe…’

Jared cocked an eyebrow, ‘nuh-uh,’ he grabbed for her, pulling her to his chest. ‘You’re tall in those shoes.’ 

Stef playfully pushed against him, unable to contain her giggles. Wrapping his long fingers around her wrists, he moved them behind her, her body was flush against his now, her breasts rubbing against his chest. He growled, soft and low.

‘We have time, we could have a quickie.’ 

Stef stayed quiet, her consent given while she leaned her head back, offering him the length of her neck. Leaving her tied up in one hand, he moved the other to run a thumb along her throat to her breast bone, her cleavage round and soft and inviting. He wanted to tear at the fabric, rip it away so she would be bear for him. Grinding his teeth, he was breathing hard. ‘No,’ he whispered. Their lips so close, the static crackling between them, dip in and kill the lights or pull back?

Jared chose the latter, he released her hand and moved for the door, ignoring her plea. ‘Like you said, we don’t wanna be late.’

He was still hard as he sat into the passenger side of her car, he had to push the seat back to make room for his legs. Looking across at Stef as he drove out into the street, he knew she was just as horny as he was. 

‘You ok to drive in those shoes?’ 

Stef put her foot down, the car responded easily and roared onto the highway. 

‘We will be there in a little while so behave, or don’t. Just don’t tease me.’

‘Oh and you wouldn’t tease me by sending me pictures of you with my friends, huh?’ 

She looked across at him and the shit eating grin he wore, she couldn’t stay mad at him. Rolling her eyes she concentrated on the road while he fiddled with the bluetooth setting on her radio. Allowing himself a dramatic gasp when one of her own songs started up. Twin Flames had been the easiest song she had ever worked on, it was quite far down on the list of music that hadn’t disturbed her sleep. It was just he icing on the cake now that she had met Jared on the video shoot. And now he was sitting next to her, his hands on his knees, he was looking at the lights they passed, humming the lyrics. 

‘Ever think of writing any music?’

‘I can’t sing.’

‘Yes you can. You should do some back up vocals for me when I’m back in the studio.’

‘You’re recording something soon?’ Jared looked a little excited. ‘Come on!’ He threw his hands in to the air, ‘I’m a fan, sue me.’

Stef broke into a laugh, ‘yep, I met with the band and they have some music for me to write lyrics to. I’ve gotten a few done already.’

‘Can I hear ‘em?’ 

Stef winced, ‘not yet, we’re not even at demo stages yet, honey.’ 

Jared grumbled, ‘when then?’

‘Ok, I’ll get something down this weekend and I’ll let you listen to it. See what you think.’

Jared seemed happy with that, he was nodding and grinning. Holding his thumbs against his chest, telling himself he was ‘the man.’

‘If I roll my eyes at you any more on this journey, I may crash the car.’

Jared clapped his hands, delighted at having wound her up so much.

***

‘Ready?’ Jared said, looking at her through the eyeholes of the mask on his face. Stef nodded, wondering why she was nervous. Everyone inside had been at the wrap party. From the sounds of it, it was a little more wild than she expected.

A Supernatural masquerade party at Halloween was bound to be a little crazy. ‘You nervous?’ Jared had his hand in hers, squeezing it a little for reassurance. ‘Yeah, I’m good.’ Her mouth was dry, she wasn’t good, not really. Her feet wouldn’t move. 

Jared leaned in and placed a soft kiss on her lips, catching a little of the red lipstick she had only just applied. Stef rubbed her thumb against it.

‘We can just go back to yours,’ he suggested, seeing she was uncomfortable.

‘Thanks honey, but no. I want to go to the party, my old shy self comes out when I see it’s in full swing. Especially when I don’t have alcohol in me.’ 

It had been her choice not to drink tonight, she’d wanted to have a clear head for tomorrow. It was her birthday after all, she didn’t want to spend it throwing up.

The door of the house opened, the noise getting louder. Jared waved at whoever it was, recognising them even with the ludicrious mask they wore.

Stef walked with Jared to the entrance, hiking her dress up a little so she didn’t walk on it as she climbed the steps. Jared slowed his pace while she adjusted herself. 

Inside, there were bodies everywhere. Rock music pumped through the speakers. It looked more like a frat party than a sophisticated get together. Stef smiled, enjoying the fact that they were anonymous, well, she was. Jared was getting clapped on the back from every direction. Not one person noticing or maybe even caring that he was hand in hand with a woman that wasn’t his wife. 

The wide hallway in the mansion had the biggest staircase Stef had ever seen. She thought about how many rooms there were, the doors on the upper floor suggested 10 that she could count. Someone was waving furiously from the balcony right above them. Stef couldn’t be sure who it was until they smiled. Jensen. Definitely Jensen. She waved back and he motioned for them to join him.

Stef pulled on Jared’s hand, he was speaking to someone, actually, shouting over the music. They were close to the speakers here. Stef wouldn’t be able to stand it for long. 

Jared nodded and hit the man on the shoulder playfully, whoever he was. ‘Coming,’ he mouthed, following Stef up the stairs. 

‘I was wondering when you two would get here!’ Jensen was in a three piece suit and a feathered mask, the two didn’t match but neither did the feather boa that was wrapped around his shoulders. 

‘You’re not meant to know who we are!’ Jared grinned, chewing his gum loudly.

‘Yeah coz you’re not noticeable you 7 foot freak.’

Between nudges and inside jokes, the guys did their best to include Stef in the conversation, Jared had his hand on her lower back, stroking his knuckles against her spine each time he leaned into listen to whatever Jensen was saying. 

Throwing a thumb over his shoulder, Jensen shook his head. It was a silent conversation between the two men. Both took off down the hall. Jared held tight to Stef’s hand until they got to a stairwell that lead downward. They were going into the basement. 

When Jensen opened the door to reveal the room within, Stef had to take a breath. It wasn’t techically a basement, it was an all out man cave. Huge sofas, every manner of game console known to man and a bar tucked into the corner.

‘Who the hell owns this place?’ She blurted out. Jared had taken the mask off his face and was rubbing his eyes. ‘Makin’ me itchy,’ he grumbled. 

‘We rented it for the party, dunno know how owns it.’ Jensen offered a glass of scotch to them. Jared gulped it back in one go as Stef refused hers. 

‘Nice to be away from the madness upstairs.’ Jensen poured Jared another two fingers. 

‘Even down here you can hear them, are they always this…insane?’ Stef undid the ribbon at the back of her mask. Jensen may have forgotten he had his on, he kept talking while he drank. There was a long row of records on the far wall that Stef decided to inspect. 

Jared would steal glances at her over Jensen’s shoulder. God, she looked so damn beautiful, he thought. The familiar warmth in his belly crept up toward his chest. Usually it went the other way, his loins were forever on fire for that woman. But this was a new sensation, he was crazy about her, sure. He couldn’t deny it. Everybody knew it. 

‘Yo man, you listening?’

‘Hmm?’ Jared raised his eyebrows at the question but had to force his eyes away from Stef and her hands running across the spines of the records she was engrossed in, reading each and every one of them. 

‘I forgot you can’t concentrate on anything else when that girl is around.’ 

Jensen was topping up Jared’s drink that he had in his had, but hadn’t drank. ‘Take it easy, buddy.’ Jared put a hand over the rim. 

‘Problem?’ Jensen asked.

‘Nah, it’s Stef’s birthday, I don’t wanna be a drunken idiot.’ 

Jensen smiled, ‘you’ll just be an idiot, as usual.’ He turned to Stef, ‘happy birthday, girl!’ He raised a glass.

Stef turned to see both men looking down at her, she had bent over to see the second row of dusty records, blushing, she stood up. ‘Thanks.’ 

She rubbed her arms, it was chilly down here. 

‘Thanks for coming to the party, if I had known I would have done something special.’ Jensen turned to his friend, gritting his teeth ‘why didn’t you tell me before, man.’

‘It’s cool, I have something special for her.’

‘I don’t wanna know if it’s anything to do with what you got in your pants.’ 

Jared snorted a laugh, ‘well, some of that and something else.’

Jensen clinked glasses with Jared, ‘to the birthday girl!’ He declared. 

‘To the birthday girl,’ Jared joined in the toast, drinking down the scotch, letting it burn his throat, he preferred beer but he’d take what was offered.

It was half hour til midnight and the party had moved outside the mansion to watch fireworks. ‘So, birthday girl, have you had a nice day?’ 

Jared and Stef were definitely the only two sober people on the premises. Sitting together on a loveseat on the balcony overlooking the gardens. His jacket was resting across her shoulders, his fingers winding through a piece of hair that had come undone from her carefully constructed hairstyle.

‘Yes, I have. Thank you for spending it with me.’ 

‘I got you a little something.’ Jared reached into his pocket. 

‘Oh no.’ Stef began blushing furiously. ‘You promised you wouldn’t get anything.’

Jared scoffed, ‘C’mon, I had to get you a gift.’

He produced a silver bracelet. So simple and elegant. It was actually exactly Stef’s style. 

‘I had to check my pocket so many times tonight, thinking it had slipped out.’

Jared was busy wrapping it around her wrist he didn’t notice Stef blink away a tear that had almost broken out. No one had gotten her a gift like that in years. Years. The easy way he gave it to her, talking all the while. Stef grabbed his chin, his beard having grown out in the last few months. ‘Thank you.’ Her hazel eyes meeting his. Her stomach did a somersault. Those puppy dog eyes, how could she not fall for him?

They were kissing, sickening sounds that people complained about when a couple just can’t keep themselves apart in a public place. 

Stef moved across into his lap, grabbing the back of his head and running her hands through his hair. 

‘Any chance of you giving me some beard rash in some sensitive places when I get you back to mine?’ Stef was nibbilng on his earlobe. 

She could feel the rumble of his laughter. ‘Most definitely, baby. It’s your birthday, I’ll do anything you want.’

‘That’s what I like to hear.’ Stef was grinding down against his crotch, the ache inside for him overwhelming. 

Her hand reached down, palming his cock through his pants. ‘I want you,’ she whispered. ‘Right here on this balcony. Where anyone could look up and see us.’

Jared bit his lip, swallowing the moan her words had brought out of him.

‘I wanna check something with you first though,’ Jared grabbed her chin and turned it toward the corner of the balcony. A cctv camera was pointed down onto the grounds. ‘Would you really care if someone were watching us?’

‘Mmhmm,’ Stef slid down onto her knees, unzipping his pants in that slow, teasing way she did. She didn’t hesitate to pull him from his boxers and lick around the tip. He was so hard. Leaning his head back, he closed his eyes. She was teasing him, alright. No one could do this like she could. ‘Would you still be doing this if someone were watching you?’

She looked up at him, her lips puckered as if she were about to kiss his mouth, instead she placed a kiss to the underside of the head of his cock. Nodding slowly, she began licking where she knew he was most sensitive. 

‘Ok then.’

Jared took his phone from his pocket, typing something quick as a flash and drew her up by her elbows. His cock springing free from her mouth. ‘Get in out of the cold.’

Jared tucked himself back into his pants before rushing down the hallway to an open door. The lights inside were low, the fireworks throwing shadows and bursts of light across the walls. A huge four poster bed was the centre piece of the room. Not big enough to be a master bedroom, not in a house this size, but impressive none the less.

Stef expected Jared to throw her onto the bed and ravage her, but to her surprise, he sat on the chaise lounge by the window. Just to the left was a set of three long mirrors, giving him a perfect view of her as she kneeled to take her place between his legs again. 

‘OK, please continue.’ Jared’s eyes were soft, half closed as he watched her open his pants again. 

She pumped his thick shaft a few times, licking the tip before taking him into her hot mouth. He whimpered and swallowed hard. 

Putting one hand on the back of her head, he watched her wiggle her butt in the reflection.

The three different viewpoints from the mirrors was a fucking great idea.

She sucked softly, making noises so sweet to his ears. She was loving this.

Jared watched her, taking his member down deeper and back out again, like it was made to be in her mouth. He could come apart right here, spill down her throat but he wanted to fuck her. She looked too damn hot tonight to pass up this opportunity. 

Stef felt his balls twitch, this was the moment when he would tell her he was ready to blow. So she pulled back, looking up at him through her long eyelashes. He was breathing hard, but he was steady, controlling himself better than he had been able to before.

The fireworks were so loud outside the window, she didn’t hear him ask her to stand up. 

Jared stood and turned her around, slipping his hand around to the front of her dress and down into her cleavage. His long fingers grasped at her nipples easily. His breath was on her neck, his cock grinding against her ass. Looking at him in the mirror as he found the slit in her dress and moved his hand along her thigh to land on her mound, she was soaking through her panties. They were new, black satin and perfectly ruined as he moved them aside to run a finger along her slit.

‘So fucking wet. You’re perfect,’ He said, eagerly kissing the skin of her neck. 

Movement in the corner of the room caught her eye. Stef started, her heart hammering. ‘Someone is watching us,’ her voice barely audible over the fireworks exploding. Jared’s lips were at her ear, his voice drawing out the name, ‘it’s Misha.’

Stef squinted into the dark corner, he was still, his silhouette burned into her eyes as she squeezed them shut. 

‘I can ask him to leave, if you want?’ Jared was pushing her over, one hand on her shoulder, the other sliding the dress up and over her ass. Stef couldn’t speak, this was really happening. Shaking her head, she leaned forward at his behest, feeling his hand running along the soft skin on the inside of her thigh. His long fingers sliding her panties down, exposing her glistening pussy to the room. The flood of arousal allowed her to groan aloud, Jared lined up and pushed in without warning. Stef cried out with pleasure while he kept a steady pace. Looking up at the mirror, she saw Jared was looking her face in the reflection, the corners of his mouth pulling into a grin as he saw her looking back at him. His pace never faltered, the room was closing in around her. Never had she felt another pair of eyes on her and fuck if it didn’t make her feel dirty.

Jared bent over and grabbed her hips, spearing her with his cock, he was panting ‘you do like it, don’t you? Dirty girl. it’s making you so wet.’ His voice was too low for anyone else to hear. 

‘Yes, I like you fucking me while someone watches,’ Stef grinned into his kiss. It was sloppy and hot, he nipped at her jaw before standing back up to his full height, continuing his thrusts. 

Grabbing the edge of the chaise lounge to keep from toppling over as Jared started grunting, watching his cock disappearing inside of her. ‘So fucking wet, baby,’ he kept saying. 

The fire in her belly was crawling slowly between her thighs, it wouldn’t be long until she felt the rush come over her. 

Jared stopped thrusting and bit back his groan, teeth sinking into his lower lip. With a slap against her ass with one hand, he finally let out a breath. Stef was almost there but he wasn’t moving. ‘Don’t stop,’ she cried. 

Jared grabbed the flesh of her ass and thrust hard into her. Gasping, she convulsed, laying her head down onto the chair between her outstretched arms. 

Jared pulled out of her with an obscene squelch. Stef felt her dress move to cover her ass as he fixed her up. 

‘Y’ok?’ Jared sat down heavily next to her. Turning her head to look at him, sweat lining his forehead, she smiled. 

His eyes moved across the room as he watched his friend leave. 

‘I’m ok,’ Stef whispered, closing her eyes, allowing herself to enjoy the post orgasmic high.

When a few minutes passed, Jared grabbed her waist and dragged her across his lap. 

She lay with her back against his chest, feeling his heartbeat steadying, his arms wrapped tightly across her chest, their fingers entwined. 

‘It’s 12:00, Happy Birthday, baby.’ His lips grazing her temple. 

‘Happy birthday to me,’ Stef shimmied herself against him, being exactly where she needed to be.


	23. Oi To The World

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stef spends Christmas in New York with Oscar.

Christmas was upon her so quick it made her head spin. Stef was standing at the airport arrival halls, checking her bag every few minutes in case her passport jumped out and made its way home.   
Her nerves were pinging like overstretched guitar strings. She spent every Christmas with Darius and Oscar, why was this one making her antsy?  
They had misplaced her suitcase, that was irksome. The kind man at the lost baggage desk assured her it would make its way to her address before Christmas Day. With three days to go, she wanted to believe him, but figured she should hit up some stores just in case.  
Stef had learned years ago that if the airline ‘lost’ your bag it would either arrive very late or not at all, several years before while on tour, she had ended up playing a show in her boots, grimy jeans and her bikini top because she had nothing else that was clean. That was a messy tour for everyone. Since then, she kept a bag with the essentials with her while she traveled; clean underwear, a spare shirt, make up, toiletries and...oh fuck, she remembered that she hadn’t packed pjs.   
‘Mom!’ Darius was elbowing his way through the crowd of people in the arrivals hall, a big smile on his perfect face.  
‘Hey kid, how are you?’ Stef pulled him into a hug, her chin resting on his broad shoulder.   
‘Good, dad’s outside, there is literally no parking, this place is crazy!’  
‘Well, it is Christmas.’  
Darius looked about for her suitcase, giving her a look. ‘What? No presents?’  
‘Airline lost my bag, I’m annoyed.’  
He nodded sympathetically. ‘Come on, before dad is in a bad mood too.’

Oscar leaned in to kiss her cheek, ‘Hey momma.’  
Stef rolled her eyes. ‘Don’t make me say it.’  
Oscar smiled, his hand fondling the keys in the ignition.   
‘Ok, hey daddy.’  
Pumping his fist he started the car. ‘I’ve waited so long for you to do that.’  
Darius slid into the back seat, missing their exchange. ‘The airline lost mom’s bag.’  
‘Aw, shit, no.’ Oscar pouted.  
‘I got my essentials,’ Stef patted the bag at her feet.   
‘What a way to start the holidays. But, I got the eggnog ready, the place looks amazing, Dar helped me with the decorating,’ he held his fingers out, counting each thing to look forward to.  
‘And of course, Indiana Jones is waiting for us.’  
Stef felt the whoosh of excitement, it was truly a tradition at this point. Peeking over at her ex lovers face, she saw the blood rush to his cheeks, he was positively giddy.   
Darius was texting, ignoring his parents. Stef wondered how many more Christmases she would be spending with him before he started his own traditions.   
Oscar nudged her elbow, ‘hey, this’ll be fun. You’ll learn to chill.’  
‘My mind doesn’t chill, you know that.’  
‘We’ll see,’ he replied, before starting the engine.  
***  
Moments after dropping her bag at the door and pulling off her boots, there was a cup of eggnog in her hand. Darius was on some handheld gaming device that Stef didn’t recognise (Oscar always organised the tech gifts) and Oscar was lazing in his sweats, guitar in his lap, strumming mindlessly.  
This is what it was for Stef at Christmas. Up late singing with Oscar while Darius slept curled up on the rug by the fire, at least until he grew a bit too old to sleep to get excited about Father Christmas visiting.  
‘You could at least take off your coat and relax.’   
Oscar leaned his head against the back of the sofa, his curls falling against his brow.  
Stef was wearing her warmest, fluffiest sweater, it had been mind-numbingly cold when she left home that morning, but Oscars living room was lit up with Christmas lights, candles and a fire burning, and honestly she was starting to sweat a little.   
‘I’m gonna shower first if you don’t mind.’  
Oscar shrugged, turning back to the guitar, strumming a few familiar chords.   
Stef noticed her album propped up against he wall next to his stereo, she felt the warmth in her tummy at the idea of him listening to it. He was always so supportive. 

The shower pressure was thunderous, the water beating down on her already sensitive skin. Wincing, she reached over and turned down the spray. Any other day she would have loved it. But, not after the last few love making sessions she’d had with Jared. Each time they started making out it had been nice, soft, and ended rough and intense, him bending her body to his will, trying to find different ways to outdo the last time she came. Every orgasm he pulled from her was done with love, she knew, but her body was starting to fold in upon itself. That was just what Jared wanted.   
Looking at herself in the mirror, she could see the bruises on her hips, her ribs. Pressing against the finger marks on her thighs she could feel him there, the hot sting of him buried inside her, his breath on her neck.   
Her nipples were hard at the thought, remembering him in the bathroom, the fogged up glass of the shower cold against her palms as she tried to hold herself up while he fucked her. Then afterwards, he took her from behind while she watched in the mirror, seeing his mouth fall open while he slid inside her, one hand wrapped around her neck, bending her over the sink. Each thrust of his hips brought her to the edge, his fingers grabbing hold of her hip to keep her steady, legs shaking beneath her. 

Even now, two days later, she could still feel him. And she missed it. Missed the power he had over her, trusting him to do as he wished with her.   
Her fingers were trailing against the marks on her shoulder, teeth marks and hickeys, trailing down to her breast and right there by her nipple, a fresh bite. That had hurt. His fingers were inside her, all of them, ripping her apart as she came hard, his teeth sinking into her. There was nothing else in the world like it, the throb of her pussy, swollen from his hands and his mouth, before he even started fucking her.   
Stef moved her hand between her thighs, her head falling forward. If she was quiet, she could get herself off in a couple of minutes thinking of Jared’s mouth on hers, grabbing her face between his hands, throwing his head back to get the hair out of his eyes. The way his eyes closed and he swallowed hard when he entered her.   
‘I know you will come when I tell you to.’ He had said, holding her head in his hands, his forehead against hers.  
Her cunt was aching to be filled, her fingers weren’t enough, but the thoughts of him was, she was dripping when she came, biting her lip hard so no one would hear her.   
Oh god, she thought, the fuck is wrong with you??  
After she cleaned up, scolded herself again and slipped on the extra pair of clean clothes, she checked no part of her skin was visible. The choice of sweater covered her neck, only a little of the burn on her right wrist could be seen. She stared at it for a moment, poking at it with her finger. She probably should put some cream on it, it stung a little, she had pulled against her restraints, it was gonna happen.  
‘You ok in there?’ Oscar called from the other side of the door.  
Stef opened the door, letting the steam escape. ‘Have you forgotten what it’s like living with a woman? We take our time in here.’  
Oscar looked sheepish, ‘sorry. But the pizza is here.’  
‘Pizza! You never said there was gonna be pizza!’ Stef hopped onto his back as he walked into the kitchen, his strong legs bracing to keep himself upright.  
‘Have you taken your pills today, Effie?’ He laughed, one of her arms was around his neck. ‘You’re choking me a bit.’   
‘Sorry,’ Stef jumped down and grabbed a slice of the biggest pizza she had ever seen. ‘All veg?’  
‘All veg,’ Oscar stuffed his mouth and licked his thumb.   
‘So how’s life?’  
‘Same as it always is.’ Stef answered between mouthfuls. Darius had a plate perched on one knee in the living room, his ear to his phone.  
‘His girlfriend,’ Oscar nodded toward him.   
‘Cute.’   
Oscar shrugged again. ‘I’d like to say we had our shit sorted when we were his age, but who does?’  
‘If anything, we were in disarray.’   
Both of them sat quietly studying their son for a minute.   
‘Life sucks and then you die,’ Stef said quietly, feeling Oscar’s eyes turning to her.   
She laughed, then snorted, causing Oscar to fall into a fit of laughter.   
Darius turned around in his chair to look at them, rolled his eyes and continued his conversation.   
‘Life doesn’t suck now though, right? You’re happier than I’ve seen you in a long time.’ The invitation to talk about Jared was there, she knew, but she didn’t want to offer up any information.  
It was her turn to shrug. ‘I suppose.’  
She heard him sigh. ‘Come on, eat up. We have so much tv to catch up on.’ Oscar knew she would relax after a while. Always afraid to tell him anything, lest the rug be pulled from under her. He understood, he was partly, or mostly to blame for the rift between them. Actually, he thought, he was all to blame.   
She was better with him now, this relationship had brought out the playful side of her again, he had missed it more than he cared to admit. 

‘I got you a gift you can open now!’ He suddenly burst out, startling her.  
‘It’s not Christmas yet, Oscar.’  
‘No, it’s perfect timing since your bag isn’t here.’ He hopped off the kitchen stool and jogged over to the tree, grabbing a nice sized package. Stef followed him in, curious as to what was going to sort out the no clothes issue she was having.  
Darius had finished the call, looking a little glum. ‘Open it, mom, he seems real excited about it.’  
Oscar was smiling, eyes twinkling as he watched her rip open the perfectly wrapped gift. Heavy material fell open in her hands, ‘Oscar, what the hell is this?’  
Both men were laughing, Darius bent over holding his ribs.  
‘Amazing, Oscar thank you. A Star Wars onesie with your face all over it.’  
‘Hell yeah,’ he choked, ‘and look’, he pointed to the crotch. His face really was adorning all the important parts.   
Stef buried her face in it, she couldn’t hold back the laughter. ‘Thanks so much, it’s everything I ever wanted.’  
‘Should have gotten Dar one as well.’  
‘No thank you.’ Darius piped up, shaking head, throwing back a glass of eggnog.   
‘You made that way strong, dad, jeeeesus.’  
‘Yep, trying to get your mom drunk.’   
‘Ugh, please no. You’ll be up all night.’  
Oscar’s eyebrows shot up with surprise, ‘Darius, what the hell way is that to talk about your mother.’  
‘Ugh, I meant singing and playing guitar. Oh god you guys are gross.’   
‘Hey, no arguments. I have been here an hour!’ Stef emptied her own glass and shoved it in Oscar’s direction, jiggling her hand so he knew she wanted a refill. ‘I won’t say no to getting a little fucked up.’   
‘Now we’re talking,’ Oscar flicked Darius’s ear, ‘follow your mom’s lead, she’s the sensible one here.’   
While Oscar disappeared to get refills, Stef’s phone started buzzing in her jeans pocket. She slid out onto the back porch cursing the cold air as she answered the call.  
‘Hey girl, get to NY ok?’  
‘Yeah, I did, not here long and the airline lost my bag.’ She grumbled.  
‘Aw man, shitty.’  
‘How is everything on your end?’  
Jared sighed heavily, ‘home and surrounded by children and I need a break already.’ Stef could hear someone screaming in the background, following by crying.   
‘Shit, hang on.’ He disappeared for a moment. ‘It’s ok, it’s been handled.’  
‘So what’s the plan for the next few days?’  
Stef ran through the general stuff that always happened around Christmas time. Some shopping, some sleeping, drinking, playing cards and writing songs. Standard stuff.   
‘And you’re with Oscar and Darius?’ Jared queried, as if he didn’t already know the answer.   
‘Yep, same as always. Though, I wonder how long before Darius doesn’t want to hang with us for the holidays anymore.’  
‘I still hang with my folks,’ Jared offered, trying to cheer her up.  
‘Sure, but if he goes and spends it in a different country or gets married it’ll just be me and Oscar staring at each other. How awkward would that be.’  
‘You guys don’t get along if he’s not there?’  
‘We do, but we know each other a long time, it’s not exactly exciting.’   
Jared chuckled, ‘Christmas is never the same unless you are a kid or have kids.’   
Stef shivered, ‘agreed, I’m in the yard and man, it is fucking cold here. I wish I had you to keep me warm.’  
Jared hummed on the other end of the line. ‘That’d be nice. I most likely won’t get to see you until after the new year, probably the end of January.’

End of January, a whole month to go, Stef thought unhappily.

His family needed him more than she did, that was for sure. She was being greedy with his time, wanting every spare moment he had to be spent with her.   
The familiar gut clenching sensation was back, oh why did she have to feel for him? That wasn’t in the plan. That wasn’t what she had wanted. Honestly, she had forgotten how it was when you met someone and fell for them over time. It hadn’t happened for her in a long, long time. She hadn’t fallen for anyone since Oscar.   
Stef turned to look in at the living room where Darius was still eating pizza, talking to his father. Oscar was gazing back at Stef, nodding in agreement to whatever Darius was saying.   
Had Oscar ever fallen for anyone else since her? She had been sure years ago, he seemed pretty serious with someone for a while, but that fizzled out.   
He was intense. Everything about him made her tingle, even now with his eyes on her, Stef rubbed her neck unconsciously, wondering what the hell was thinking.  
‘Stef?’ Jared was laughing, ‘you still there?’  
‘Sorry, distracted.’  
‘Yeah, no kiddin, want me to call you back later?’  
‘Sure, go have fun with your family.’  
‘You go have fun with yours.’  
My family, she thought, stepping back into the warmth. This was her family. Sighing happily, she threw her phone onto the sofa and took the eggnog from Oscar’s hand, their fingers brushing for a second.   
He didn’t say anything, everything he wanted to say was in his eyes, his perfect expressive eyes.   
‘I think I’ll slip into that onesie, the eggnog has made me feel like jeans aren’t the right thing to lounge in.’   
Oscar raised an eyebrow and watched her make her way back to the bathroom, she was humming away to herself.   
Darius burst through the door when she had changed, she could hear him release the loudest piss as she giggled her way into the living room.  
‘Close the damn door, no one wants to hear that, buddy.’ Oscar shouted. ‘Ha, look at you.’ He eyed Stef, asking her to do a twirl.   
She spun on her tip toes.   
Oscar licked his lips, ’Well, you did tell me once that you had a beautiful place for me to put my face.’   
Stef looked down at her crotch to see Oscar’s serious ‘Poe’ face look back her.  
‘Oscar, you’re a bad man,’ she sighed.   
His nose crinkled as he smiled at her, ‘ready for a movie?’  
‘Yeah,’ Stef threw herself down onto the sofa, loosening her ponytail. Oscar sat at the other end, grabbing her feet and gently placing her legs across his lap.   
Stef looked across at him while he settled in, pushing at a cushion until he got it at the perfect angle, his fingers working the remote.   
The opening scene started up, Darius joined them with a beer in a glass she remembered stealing from a pub in the city.   
Smiling to herself, she caught Oscar looking at her. ‘Ready?’   
Stef grinned back at him, ‘ready.’  
Let’s just relax and forget about the world outside of this house for the next three days, she told herself.   
No band, no music, no complicated relationships. Just her, Oscar and their son.


	24. A Most Elegant Impediment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stef and Oscar hang out over the Christmas holiday.

I want to be in every corner of your heart

To haunt your every waking moment

You close your eyes and live and breathe in me

Plucking at the strings mindlessly, Stef hummed a tune she had been working on. Curled up on the sofa, her bare feet tucked into the insides of her knees; something that Oscar had always found freakish, but she was supple, she couldn’t help it. 

It was snowing hard outside. 

Gazing out the patio doors, she was entranced by it, not hearing Oscar walk into the room, his boots making no sound on the carpet. Leaning in close to her he whispered, ‘what are you up to?’ Pulling back and holding his arms in front of him as Stef leaped off the chair and swung her arms around at him. ‘You jerk! You scared the life out of me.’

He laughed at his own mischief, grabbing her hands while she tried to playfully slap his chest. 

‘Sorry, I had to. You were goofing off.’

‘I could have been writing the one masterpiece of my career, and now I’ve forgotten it.’ Stef scrambled over the back of the sofa to get at him. Oscar held his arms up higher in protest. 

‘No, don’t start!’ He warned, grabbing her wrists as she fell over and toppled onto him. 

Playfully grappling with each other, Stef tried to use her teeth on his fingers. Oscar was giggling, deciding that grabbing her waist and spinning her around was the best way to beat her.

Finally, he had her in a grip that she couldn’t get out of. Both of them were breathing hard, laughing. 

‘Truce?’ Oscar asked.

‘Truce,’ Stef agreed, but he knew by her voice, she would attack as soon as he released her. He was broader while she was slimmer and weirdly bendy, but he had speed she didn’t have, when he pulled his hands away, sure enough she was after him with a war cry. Running through the dining room and into the kitchen, he found refuse behind the island. ‘You promised me a truce!’ He cried. 

‘I lied, you should know by now that I like to get my revenge.’ The mischievous grin on her face put a bit of fear in him. She was capable of grabbing something and hitting him with it, she’d done it before. 

Oscar eyed the door out to the garage, feigning a sprint to that side. She fell for it and lunged at the left side of the kitchen island while he slipped past her. Laughing with delight as she yelled in frustration behind him.

She appeared in the dining room holding a sieve. 

‘The fuck you gonna do with that?’ Oscar dived for the fly swatter by the windowsill, dodging the sieve that whistled by his ear. 

Drawing his hand back he hit her right on the round of her ass with a loud thwack.

Stef screamed, doubling over to laugh. Oscar had his hand raised to strike her again, but stopped on seeing her fall to her knees. 

‘OK truce, you got me.’ 

Oscar raised his eyebrows, ‘I don’t trust you.’ Neither of them could breathe very well through the exertion. 

‘Just don’t come at me if I put this down,’ Oscar reasoned, lowering his arm, still on guard. 

‘Nah, I’m done.’ Stef promised, holding up her hand for Oscar to help pull her to her feet. 

‘I’m so thirsty after that,’ Stef ran her tongue along her bottom lip.

‘There is beer in the fridge,’ Oscar kept his eyes on her, unsure if she really was finished or if she were only pausing before she attacked him again.

‘Bit early for beer.’ 

‘Egg nog?’ Oscar raised his eyebrows suggestively.

‘Ohhh, yes, that sounds better.’ Stef led the way to the kitchen, the next thwack of the fly swatter against her ass really took her by surprise. Oscar had run well out of sight. Stef cursed loudly at him, hearing him tear up the stairs and into the safety of the upstairs bedroom.

‘Don’t think I won’t go up there and get you!’ Stef yelled.

Filling two glasses with egg nog, waiting for Oscar to come out of hiding, Stef checked her phone, there were no messages. It had been a couple of days since she had spoken to Jared, a few texts had come through saying that he missed her, asking what gifts she had gotten. No pictures though and she missed seeing his face. 

She missed him, the heat of him against her, his long arms around her. Mostly, she missed his sweetness, when he gave her kisses she wasn’t expecting, or running his fingers lightly over her spine while she lay next to him, knowing it would make her squirm.

‘Penny for your thoughts.’ Oscar was munching on chocolate when he appeared by her side.

‘What?’

‘It’s a saying,’ Oscar replied, his mouth full.

‘I know what it means, you just caught me by surprise.’ Stef looked back down at her phone, locking it, she put it in her pocket. Out of sight out of mind.

‘He still hasn’t called?’

Sounding as if he were talking to his daughter rather than his ex lover. 

Stef didn’t answer, she took a sip of egg nog and tried to look past him into the garden. 

‘We should go out. You’ve been cooped up for days.’ 

Stef groaned, ‘I like being cooped up, it’s better for my mind. Besides,’ she added, seeing Oscar frowning, ‘last time I loosened up, as you said, I started an affair with a married man.’

Oscar rolled his eyes, ‘yeah you did.’ He sounded exasperated. Stef really wished they weren’t having this conversation.

‘You still have friends here, you could go see them if you don’t want to go somewhere with me.’

‘Nik said he was home for Christmas, actually. I wonder what he and his wife are doing.’ Stef pulled her phone out of her pocket again, typing a message to her bandmate. 

‘There, message sent. Happy?’ Stef teased, sipping her egg nog.

‘Happier,’ Oscar grinned, transferring the warmth of his humour into her, she couldn’t help smiling.

‘Thanks for letting me stay this week.’ Stef said bashfully.

‘Well, you always stay, why would this year be different?’

‘Darius is getting older.’ Stef sighed. ‘I’ve been thinking every day about him starting his own traditions and not hanging with us anymore.’

‘Don’t think about things before they happen. Why do you think about shit so much?’

‘Well, it’s gonna happen! I’m tormenting myself with thoughts, I know, I know!’ Stef leaned against the counter, wrapping her free arm across her stomach, chewing on her finger, watching Oscar’s brown eyes disappear while he closed his eyes and reached out for her drink.

‘Come here.’ 

Dropping her glass on the kitchen island, he pulled her into a tight hug. ‘You’re welcome here, always, Effie.’ He was rubbing circles into her back, his hand reached up to her neck, holding her close.

‘Even if you get married and have another family?’

She felt Oscar’s shoulders move as he laughed silently. ‘Even then. But, I doubt I’ll be having a family any time soon.’

Stef released herself from the hug and looked at him, ‘Why not?’

Oscar laughed again, ‘you sound like my mom used to when I told her I didn’t do my homework.’ 

‘Well homework wasn’t your thing, if I remember correctly.’ 

‘Don’t scold me!’ 

‘Why won’t you have another family?’

‘Do you want me to have another family?’

‘No,’ Stef started, not really sure how she was going to ask. 

‘Listen, I have no woman in my life right now. Maybe I’ll meet someone, I can’t predict those types of things. But I have no marriage plans.’

‘You said you wanted more kids though.’ Stef felt sullen.

‘I did, I said I wouldn’t mind if it happened, but I’m not on the hunt for a woman with roomy hips, Effie.’

Stef shrugged. 

‘You and Darius are my family.’ Oscar grabbed her hand and pressed it to his lips. 

Stef watched his mouth kissing her hand, she didn’t want to say anything, if she broke the silence between them now, while his dark eyes met with hers, would she say something foolish?

She decided to say nothing and just give him a weak smile. 

Her phone buzzed, taking her hand from his warm grasp she checked her phone.

‘Look at that! Nik says he’s at home, his parents have gone out shopping with his wife and we should come over for beer and play some guitar.’

Oscar leaned in to see her screen, ‘Nik never says that much in a text, I don’t believe you.’ 

Stef giggled, ‘well, he said that just with less words. You game?’

‘Yeah I’m game. Let’s go!’ 

***

Oscar was in the yard on the phone to Darius while Stef pulled out another photo album from Nik’s various boxes in his mother’s kitchen.

‘How do you still have all this stuff?’ She asked, flicking through the sleeves. 

‘Mom won’t throw them out, I’m glad though, coz hey look at your outfit in that one!’

‘Oh fuck,’ Stef laughed, ‘the 90s were something else.’

‘But look at Oscar’s hair! Fuck me. Where is he? Get him in here so we can laugh at him instead.’ Stef ran a finger across a photo of herself and Oscar, they were just kids back then, it wasn’t too long after they had started dating. This one brought back sweet memories, she was laying across his lap on Nik’s sofa. 

‘You were obsessed with him.’ Nik piped up.

‘Was not.’

‘You fucking were! You two were inseparable.’

The next two pictures showed exactly what Nik was talking about, Stef was again draped across Oscar while he was speaking to someone out of shot. The other was Stef holding his arm in a photo with the early band line up.

‘Good god, you’re right. I was a bit full on wasn’t I?’

‘He loved it.’ 

‘You think?’

‘Well, he did pursue you.’

Stef snorted, ‘I remember that, he’d spin around in his seat in class and try talk to me constantly.’

‘Well, it worked. You wouldn’t see you without him or the other way round.’

‘I’m gonna grab the guitars from the basement, please don’t burn any of those photos, you’ll love them when you’re old and ugly.’

‘Thank you, Nik.’ Stef leered at him as he walked away, just as Oscar came in from the yard. He put his hands on her neck.

‘You’re freezing, get your hands off me.’

‘Or what?’ he teased.

‘Or there will be a repeat of earlier today.’ 

Oscar held his hands up and looked at if he were going to take a step back until he saw the photos Stef was looking at.

‘Wow, look at my hair!’

‘It’s no different now, you just got it cut.’

‘And I have more greys.’ Oscar’s face lit up seeing the pictures. ‘Oh man, that’s a trip down memory lane. Hey, look at your outfit!’

‘Nik just said the same thing, I looked cool!’ Stef didn’t really need to defend herself, teenage pictures were never good. 

‘Man, I remember this, we were together a few months. Already I felt like we were gonna be together forever. I’m pretty sure I wrote that on my music book, hey, we met in music class!’

Stef chuckled at his face showing his range of emotions, realisation to good memories to the more embarrassing ones. ‘That’s probably why I wrote Oscar loves Stef 4ever on it.’

‘I think so. That was cute,’ she added softly. ‘But wait no, you showed up in music class and stared at me the whole time. We didn’t ‘meet’ there. You introduced yourself to me at lunch break about two days later.’

‘Yeah, it took a couple of days of talking to your friends to see if you were cool or not. You were cute, I swear I fell in love right then and there when I saw you that first day.’ Oscar rested his head on her shoulder, watching as she flicked to the next set of photos. 

‘Uh oh, pregnancy photo.’

‘Oh, I may have to take this one, we don’t have any pictures of you like this.’ Oscar pulled it from the plastic film.

‘I’m sure we do.’

‘Nah we don’t,’ Oscar interrupted. ‘I don’t even know how we even managed to have a kid, I wasn’t allowed in your house if your mom wasn’t in the room with us.’

Stef giggled, ‘Yep. I think it was the ‘fucking any chance we got’ that did it.’ 

Oscar’s nose crinkled while he laughed. ‘You know, I think we almost did do it everywhere, since I was never allowed in your bedroom. In fact, I’m almost certain we did it on Nik’s sofa.’

Stef’s eyes widened, ‘oh we did, didn’t we.’ 

‘What are you two giggling at?’ Nik came back into the room, holding a guitar in each hand. Oscar and Stef both coughed at the same time, trying to cover their giggling. 

‘These pictures, man, they’re hilarious. I need to get that picture of Effie pregnant, I need to show it to Dar.’ 

‘No problem, take it. Show him how NOT to dress.’

‘Shut the fuck up!’ Stef turned the photo album around to show Nik a photo of him wearing a long, black leather jacket paired with board shorts. 

‘Well, at least some things have changed.’ Nik screwed up his face.

‘You still have the jacket?’ Stef asked.

‘Yep,’ Nik stepped out of the room. ‘I still have the jacket and you two are still in love.’ He hollered as he climbed the stairs two at a time.

Stef didn’t need to see her face to know that she was turning bright red. Fumbling with the photo album, some pictures dropped out of the back. 

Oscar grabbed them quickly, turning them over. 

‘Oh hell, check this one out.’ Oscar said steadily, as if he didn’t hear Nik. 

The first photo was Stef on stage, dressed as a nurse for a Halloween show. The outfit didn’t leave much to the imagination. ‘That was after we had Darius, my god, the size of my tits in that!’

‘I remember, they were awesome!’ Oscar was smirking down at the picture, Stef nudged him with her shoulder.

‘Ever think of dressing up on stage?’ 

Stef was going to give him another nudge and tell him off when she saw the look on his face. His cheeks were flushed, his lip pulled between his teeth. There was lust in his eyes, but it was more than that. It was the look he used to have on his face before he would lean in to kiss her when they first started seeing each other. When every kiss would turn her inside out, every touch was electric. 

‘Uhm, I haven’t really…’ she stammered, trying to pull her gaze away from him.

‘I’m keeping this.’ He slipped the photo into his back pocket before Stef had time to protest.

‘And this one is interesting.’ Oscar held the other photo between his fingers, Stef was dressed as Lara Croft, Nik was Beetlejuice and Oscar was a pimp, top hat and cane had been lost at some point during that night. 

‘Wow, I still hadn’t lost the tits.’ Stef grumbled.

‘I want to know why Nik had the sexiest photos of you at the back of the photo album.’

‘Hey Nik,’ Oscar bellowed at his friend, who was coming back down the stairs, struggling with an amplifier. 

‘Why do you have sexy pictures of Stef?’

‘I have sexy pictures of Stef?’ Nik lumbered through the room, setting the amp in the corner, plugging in his beloved Ibanez iceman. 

‘Yeah, Halloween from about 20 years ago.’

‘Ohhhhhh,’ Nik laughed, ‘spank bank? Don’t tell my wife.’

‘You’re on a warning, buddy,’ Oscar teased.

‘A warning?’ Nik cackled, ‘she ain’t your girl anymore, man.’ 

Oscar snorted, stuffing the photograph into his back pocket. 

‘Why are you taking them?’ Stef whispered.

Oscar winked in response, causing Stef to groan inwardly. 

‘Right, come on dudes. Let’s jam!’ Nik switched on the amplifier.


	25. Sing Like Sirens In Shadows

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stef asks Jared to put his voice to something. He agrees, but only if he gets to ravage her afterwards.

All these broken pieces left unglued

Should never find their way

Into the hands of someone like you

‘Come on, Stef. That sounded great.’

‘Well thanks, I’m tryin’ real hard.’ Stef replied, taking off Jared’s accent.

Jared stuck his tongue out, wiggling it at her.

Stef smiled, fiddling with the headphones, which were once again, on small but way too big for her head. 

‘Your tits look great too.’ She could just hear his voice. 

‘You’re putting me off.’ Stef bit her lip, trying not to laugh. It didn’t work, she broke into giggles, pulling her vest strap back over her shoulder. 

It was warm in the room, but she still wore a shawl. It was just her want to be cosy. 

‘Sorry,’ he whispered.

‘You’re not sorry at all, Jared Padalecki.’

Jared crossed his arms over his chest, waiting for her to start.

Better to just start singing again, just ignore his eyes hanging about her. 

Clearing her throat, she held her phone in front of her, finding the beat she’d lost when Jared interrupted her. 

Catching him smirking in the corner of her eye, Stef moved the phone up higher so it concealed him from her view. He threw his hands into the air. 

Tapping out the melody with furious clicks of her fingers, Stef started singing. 

‘Remember a promise, you couldn’t hold on to?

Though, it brings me to tears

Now, I need you to know…’

‘And that’s where the beat kicks in, so it’s not so sappy with me singing.’

‘I like it,’ he said softly, running his hand against his stubble. 

‘You should, you’re gonna be on it.’

Jared gulped, ‘I am?’ His eyebrows would have been touching his hairline, they shot up so quick, if he hadn’t been wearing that damn cute beanie.

He had worn it the first time he came to Stef’s house, the night of the beers and cat scratches.

‘Hell yeah you are. You said something to me recently and I wrote it into the song.’

‘And that’s how I’m in it?’

‘No, you’re going to sing on it too.’

‘Oh?’ 

‘Can I take a picture of your face, because it is hilarious right now.’

Jared closed his eyes, a wide grin with a blush made his dimples pop. ‘Staaahp,’ he pleaded.

‘You can sing, or hum or read the fucking newspaper in the background, I don’t care.’

It took just a moment of flouncing to get him on his feet. There was a bead of sweat sitting in the dip of his throat, ready to tumble over his breastbone and disappear into his v neck. 

‘I can open a window if you like?’

‘Naw, it’s you makin’ me sweat.’ Jared sidled up to her, stuffing his hand into the back pocket of her jeans, his hips up against her. 

‘You trying to rub your cock on me?’

‘Filthy mouth!’ He leaned down, catching her lips with his. 

‘Stop trying to get out of it, are you with me on this or not?’

Jared hummed, leaning his chin on her head. ‘Ok, then.’ 

Stef pulled the file up on her computer, pressing play to let him hear the sound clip the band had sent to her. She began humming the same tune that she had been practicing a few minutes before. 

Deciding on which part of the song she wanted his voice, Jared stepped up to the microphone and sang, a little low and a little wobbly. Turning to her, his face crinkled.

‘It’s ok, try it again. I have to do so may takes until I’m satisfied.’

‘Are you recording yet?’ Jared bit the skin on his finger, his eyes darting to the lyrics Stef was holding up for him.

‘When you’re ready, I’ll start recording.’ 

Jared sang the line over and over until he got it right, giving Stef a thumbs up. He winked when he heard the clip start up. Stef began the verse again, stepping back from the mic a little as he moved in to sing his part.

Stef stopped recording.

‘Hey! You’ve been recording that whole time!’ He exclaimed, eyes widening.

‘Fuck yeah I was, I need that.’

Jared squeeze her ass, his hand still buried in her back pocket. He bit at her lip. ‘That’s embarrassing.’ 

‘I’m sorry, but you’re a perfectionist.’

‘I want it to sound good’!’ His voice raising the way it did when he was getting riled up.

Stef snorted. ‘It does sound good. Thank you.’

‘Can I hear it?’

Stef bent over the makeshift work station, pressing buttons, saving the file and clicking on the big play button while his heart was hammering in his chest. 

‘Anyone ever tell you that you could be an opera singer?’

Stef frowned, ‘No. I don’t have the range of an opera singer.’

‘Well, you should get that checked, coz I think you do.’ 

Stef was sure she had never tried her vocals like that in many years, but it gave her an idea. 

‘What?’ Jared asked, seeing her staring at him quizzically. 

‘Anyone ever tell YOU that you’re really fuckin’ hot.’ 

Jared grinned, leaning in to seal his mouth over hers. ‘You may have mentioned it once or twice.’

‘Just me?’ Stef grabbed his arms, pulling him down to her. 

His hair tickled her cheeks, her forehead, her chin. It was everywhere. The need for him was making her shiver. 

Jared leaned his forehead against hers, swallowing hard when he saw her lips part. Hazel eyes gazing back up at his. 

‘Is that microphone off?’ 

Stef nodded, grabbing the headphones and pulling them from her head, dropping the on the table next to her. 

Jared grabbed her ass in his huge hands, lifting her off her feet.

Stef responded by wrapping her legs around his waist, tangling her fingers in his hair, kissing him with a sudden need. He had to be everywhere with her, he wanted to taste her, kiss her, touch every part of her until he could remember every part of her, forever in his fingertips if he willed it.

Jared had her pushed against the wall of the hallway, freeing his hands to rip the shawl from her shoulders. He was devouring her neck, kissing hard up along the skin to her ear, sucking the flesh between his teeth.

‘Let’s get into bed.’ Stef gasped, her fingers grabbing the back of his black shirt, pulling the fabric into her fists. 

He grunted in response. What was it that fuelled his fire for her? 

Muscles bulging in his back threatened to rip his shirt in two as she groped his way down to her breasts, squeezing them in his palms. 

‘I don’t think I can wait to take your clothes off.’ Jared’s breath fanned across her skin, loose hairs tickling her neck. 

She could only groan in response, opening her mouth only to let a few gasps escape while he nibbled at her shoulder. 

‘You gonna fuck me against this wall?’ 

‘I might.’ Jared’s voice muffled against her chest. 

A warmth flooded her core, just grinding against him might get her there. ‘Oh baby.’ She blurted. 

Jared grinned and scratched her with his teeth. ‘I don’t wanna hurt you this time.’

‘OK.’ Stef breathed, grabbing at his shirt to pull it over his head, revealing his hard chest and those abs she wanted to run her finger long until she got to that treasure trail. That one, that treasure trail that had filled her mind on the nights she spent without him. 

He had let his chest hair grow out, even though he hadn’t done a shirtless scene in a while, he kept himself in top shape. 

An inhuman sound crawled out of her chest, she bit her lip, embarrassed.

‘You like what you see?’

‘Mmhmm’

‘Wanna see more?’

‘Yes please.’ Stef pushed the hair from her face, Jared kissing her regardless. He didn’t seem to care that her hair was mussed, her bra straps sliding down her arms. Cradling her face in his hands, Jared stopped for a beat. His eyes wandered across her face, taking in her swollen lips, her skin pale from a winter indoors, the few freckles across her nose. ‘You’re perfect.’ He whispered. 

‘I need to get you into bed before I lose my mind.’ Jared grabbed her ass and held her against him.

They tumbled onto the bed together. 

Jared pulled her shirt up and over her head. He admired the pretty black lace bra she wore, running a hot palm across her skin to her stomach, he pressed kisses against the old piercing she still had. A reminder of her teenage years. 

Her skirt was rolled up to her hips. 

His fingers splayed out against her outer legs as he nudged at her panties, kissing her womanhood through the fabric. 

Surely it was soaking by now. 

Stef wanted to keep her eyes open, to watch him as he poured over her, enjoying every inch of her that was exposed to him bit by bit. 

He controlled it, controlled her, the movements, the air in the room stilled while he worked. 

Their lovemaking moved in slow motion, she saw how the muscles in his arms contracted and relaxed with each new touch.

‘Jared, please…’

Oh this wasn’t like her at all, she never begged. Jared knew that, the idea made him chuckle. He didn’t look at her. ‘You wanna rush this, baby girl?’

‘No.’ Stef opened her legs a little wider while he settled himself between them. ‘And yes,’ she hummed with pleasure as he pulled her panties aside. 

‘All this for me.’ He mumbled, pressing his lips against her, beginning to lap at the sweet slick. 

‘Oh fuck,’ she sang. ‘Don’t stop doing that.’ 

Jared’s tongue worked up to her clitoris, sucking gently, letting the sensitive bud escape his lips with a pop. 

‘If I don’t stop doing that, I can’t do nothin’ else. And I wanna do everything else.’

Stef arched her back, her hands reaching for his head, burying her fingers in his hair, pushing it from his eyes.

‘No, no, no.’ She chanted. ‘Keep doing that. There is time for everything else.’ 

Raising her hips to grind against his face, he reached his arm across her body, his fingers reaching to her throat, he could feel the vibration of her soft moans, even if he couldn’t hear them over the sounds of his tongue lapping at her.

She was dripping and my god was the nectar fuckin’ sweet.

There was no stopping it, holding her breath, she pressed her lips together as the burst of pleasure rolled from her pelvis and spread out across her veins, into her fingertips.

Silently squirming beneath him, Jared grinned, enjoying the thoughts of how easy he could get her off.

Unzipping his jeans and sliding them down his hips, he watched her eyes hungrily taking him in, his cock sprang free, already rock hard and weeping at the tip. 

Jared smiled down at her as she licked her lips. ‘Slide your pretty ass down here and get your mouth on me.’ 

His voice hot as his blood felt pulsing in his veins. Obeying, she quickly shimmied down the bed until she was sitting on the floor, her head leaning against the mattress behind her.

Jared held the shaft in his right hand, tapping the tip against her mouth.’Open up. Let’s see if you can get me off as quick as you came just now.’

Stef smiled, parting her lips, allowing her tongue to snake out to lick the underside of his throbbing member. 

Jared raised his eyebrows at her, seeing how eager she was to tease him. ‘Use your tongue,’ he ordered. His fingers were twining into her hair, gently wrapping the strands around his hand. If he needed to he could hold her head where he wanted while he used her mouth. Oh, he had been dreaming about this all week. Even his wife had asked him why he was goofing off so much.

Stef was licking around the head of his cock now, twirling her tongue and pressing against his slit. Jared his threw his head back with a hiss. ‘Use your mouth now, come on.’ 

Stef opened her mouth only a little, letting her lips slide over the shaft. Fuck, her mouth was so hot. He hit the back of her throat and she pulled him back again, he slipped out, her mouth closing for a beat before parting her lips again, letting her tongue flatten against the vein that was full and throbbing for her.

‘Fuuucckk,’ Jared wouldn’t be able to hold it in for much longer. She had a mouth for sucking cock. 

Hollowing her cheeks, she sucked him down again, swallowing as soon as he hit the back of her mouth. At this angle, she couldn’t take him any deeper, nevertheless, the sound the came from Jared told her she was doing a good job. 

He looked down at her with lust filled eyes, his mouth open, heaving breaths from the exertion of holding back.

‘Ready?’ He whispered.

Stef looked up at him, there was a glint in her eye, she knew what was coming. 

The hand that was wound up in her hair tightened its grip as she pushed into her mouth, she responded by opening wider. He started fucking her mouth like he was a man possessed, he was Jared no longer, Stef’s sinful mouth was swallowing him down and she was loving every fucking minute of it. 

‘I love those cute gurgling sounds you make around my cock.’ 

‘Damn,’ he added, seeing her smile a little around his length, renewing his vigour. His thrusts harder now. She gagged a little. 

‘Fuck yeah,’ Jared loved it. Loved feeling her gag around his cock. 

‘Heads up.’ 

Pulling out, he painted her face with quick, hot spurts. Stef gasped in surprise. 

After a few breaths, he opened his eyes, seeing Stef rubbing her vest against her face. 

‘You ok, baby?’ He asked, lowering himself to his knees.

‘I don’t like it.’ she cursed while wiping his cum from her cheek.

‘You don’t like cum on your face?’

‘No,’ she whispered. ‘Something about it panics me a bit, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to ruin the moment.

‘You didn’t ruin anything baby. I’m sorry, I should have asked first.’

Stef shook her head, putting on a smile for him. ‘I enjoyed that though.’

‘Me too,’ Jared untangled his hand from her hair. 

‘Can I kiss you?’ 

‘You don’t have to ask if you can kiss me,’ Stef licked at her swollen mouth. It was pretty and red, just how he liked it after blowjobs. 

‘You’re beautiful, you know that?’ Jared wrapped an arm around her elbows and helped her onto the bed. 

‘Can I get you anything?’ His voice full of concern rather than the lust from only moments ago.

‘No,’ she started then rethought her response, ‘maybe a cup of camomile before you fuck my brains out.’

Jared raised his eyebrows, surprised for the second time that evening.

‘Yes, m’lady.’

Stef was laying back on the cushions when he returned with a steaming mug of her new favourite tea.

Were the mugs always that small or were they just dwarfed by his hands? Stef shook her head, focus on the man here with you, she told herself.

Sipping the hot liquid together in silence. Jared, laying with an arm around her shoulders finally spoke, ‘You ok about earlier?’

Stef nuzzled her nose against his, ‘you’re cute when you’re worried.’ 

‘I just don’t want to do anything you’re uncomfortable with.’

‘I get you, and thanks for being considerate, it’s no biggie. I’m not a fan of it, is all. Never have been.’

‘This is a mutual pleasure deal we got going here, if you don’t like something, tell me. Anything else you don’t like?’ 

‘I have a few limits, but I like to focus on what I do like rather than what I don’t like.’ Stef put the now empty mug on the bedside locker, taking her time as she moved her leg across Jared’s lap, settling in against the warmth of his chest. 

She heard the clink of his mug being placed on his locker, then the familiar feel of his hand running down her spine, making her squirm. 

‘I’m ticklish.’ 

‘I know,’ he said, grinning. 

‘So, you said you wanted to do ‘everything else.’ May I ask what that was, Mr. Padalecki?’ Laying her chin on his chest, she looked up at him, batting her lashes.

He looked down at her, her dark hair spilling out against him. 

‘Well, my raven tress beauty, let me show you rather than tell you.’ 

Gripping her arms, he rolled her over on to her back in one swift move. He was again settling between her legs.

‘When did you get hard?’ She breathed, feeling the head of his cock pushing against her pussy. 

‘I think it was when I came back into the room and you were laying naked on your bed. So fucking innocent. Waiting for me to come back and fuck the hell outta you.’

Stef’s eyebrow twitched, ‘that sounds wonderful. You got the job, when can you start.’ 

Jared chuckled, moving the grip on her wrists to one hand. He gripped her nipple with his free hand, making her bite down on her lip. ‘Ohhh,’ she trembled.

‘Fuck me.’ Stef demanded.

‘Yes ma’am.’

The head of his cock slid past her folds, into the heat that was aching for him. He set a steady pace, fucking in and out of her while she pursed her lips, eyes closed. 

He enjoyed watching her face changing as he sped his pace, not going as deep as he usually would. Stef was so wet, he thought he may be able to squeeze a finger in there too. Sitting back on his knees, he lifted her legs, parting them wide. She mewled softly while he pushed in deep and pulled out, his cock covered in her arousal. Sure enough, his finger slid in with his cock. She opened her eyes in delight, that sensation was something new.

‘Look at that, so wet for me right now, baby.’

She was tight, but she took it. Jared slid another finger alongside the first. Stef’s eyes rolled back in pleasure. ‘Fuck, Jared…fuck, fuck fuck.’ 

She repeated the chant as she raised her hips a little, he wanted to let her wrists go and play with her clitoris, there was so much he wanted to do but he didn’t have enough hands!

‘If I let you go will you play with yourself? You know that gets me off baby.’

Stef nodded, biting her lip. Dipping her fingers into her mouth, she brought them to the pink flesh above where he was fucking into her.

‘Damn, baby, look at you.’ 

Jared picked up the pace again, slamming hard into her, holding her up with with two fingers. 

Stef screamed suddenly, Jared almost stopped, but looked down at her, he could see her tensing, the most intense orgasm punched through her abdomen, causing her to lift the top half of her body lifted off the mattress. 

She looked like a woman possessed. A long, loud groan filled the room. 

‘Your clenching so hard on my cock, Jesus fucking christ.’ Jared didn’t need to thrust to reach his end. He came hard right then just watching her.

Panting and sweating, he slid his fingers from her cunt. She opened her arms for him as he collapsed onto her.

‘Fuck that was, something else.’

‘Yeah, it was.’ 

When their breathing slowed and the tingling subsided, Jared shivered. ‘I’m really sweaty, I should shower.’

‘Me too.’ Stef wriggled under his weight. 

He was in the shower only a moment when he heard a song start up on the shower speakers. 

‘You don’t go a minute without listening to something, huh?’ Jared held her hand as she stepped under the water with him. ‘It’s a special occasion, you should listen to our song while you clean your ballsack.’

Jared snorted with laughter, he sound echoing off the tiles. 

It was a cool song, he was humming along with it, not knowing all the words, until his line came up.

‘I was looking for an ending when I fell into you’. 

Jared wrapped his arms around Stef while she tried to lather herself up. 

‘Hey,’ she protested, turning her head to look at him. 

‘You look tired.’

‘I am,’ he kissed her quickly on the mouth, ‘you tired me out.’

‘Ah yeah, you’ll be asleep before 9!’ She teased.

‘Mmm, I’ll sleep happy with you by my side.’ Stef poured shampoo into the palm of her hand and rubbed it into the tangled mess that was his hair.

‘I love you.’ He murmured, squinting as the suds rolled into his face.


	26. We Fall The Wrong Way Round

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A surprise visitor reveals surprising feelings for Stef and Jared.
> 
> Married Jared! Single Oscar!

Stef kept her eyes open when Jared leaned in for a kiss, both of them jumping on hearing the front door slam.

‘Mom!’ Darius shouted up the stairs.

Stef lunged out of the shower, grabbing a towel. ‘I’m just finishing up in the shower. You ok?’ 

The door was open an inch only but Jared was glad they were in the upstairs bathroom. He heard a mumbled response from Darius and continued washing out the suds from his hair.

Stef rejoined him with a grimace. ‘I didn’t know he was coming.’

‘Nice of him to surprise you.’ 

They finished their shower in silence, Stef pulling on a pink, silky push up bra that she found wedged between towels. If Jared’s mind hadn’t been elsewhere, she knew he would have commented on it. He stood in his towel, water dripping from him into a puddle on the floor.

‘You ok with meeting him?’ 

Jared looked up, surprised that she was still in the room? Surprised that he was still in the room? 

‘You seem fazed.’

‘No, no, I’m not. Sorry.’ He chewed his lip, giving her a false laugh that even he cringed at.

‘Not expecting to meet your son after being in the shower with his mom!’

Stef rolled her eyes, ‘he’s an adult.’ 

Braiding her hair quickly and throwing it over her shoulder, Stef ran down the stairs to see Darius rummaging in the kitchen.

‘Well, I wasn’t expecting you home.’ 

Darius hugged her briefly before leaning over to his bag. ‘I got you a present.’

‘Uhm, why?’ Stef asked, cautiously taking the gift from him.

‘I know it’s Gradma’s anniversary next weekend and I could only fly back this weekend coz of the holiday sooo.’ He motioned for her to open it.

‘Why do I get a gift though?’ Stef peeled back the paper, revealing a black frame with the picture from Darius’s birthday settled in the centre. The nice one, with her and Oscar smiling with Darius between them.

‘You really liked the picture and Dad said you looked pretty in it.’

Stef was moved by the gesture. ‘I don’t know what to say.’

‘Just say thanks…and tell me what you have here to eat because I’m starving!’

Stef grabbed Darius and pulled him into a tight hug. He didn’t grumble at her like he usually did, he just let her hold him.

‘Hey,’ she brushed a tear away and smiled, ‘so, Jared is here.’

Darius raised an eyebrow at her, reminding her so much of his father. 

‘He’s a guy that I’ve been seeing,’ she started. ‘I know,’ Darius interrupted, ‘dad told me.’ 

Stef tried to gauge his reaction, but, there was no expression on his face. 

‘OK, he’s upstairs, he said he’d be down in a bit.’

‘We’ve been recording music,’ Stef chirped, hoping to take any awkwardness out of the conversation.

‘I can’t wait to hear it. I’ve been listening to your album on Spotify, it’s not half bad.’

‘Not half bad yourself, kid,’ Stef brushed a hand against her sons hair as she heard Jared coming down the stairs.

Already, his sleeves were rolled up, beanie covering his damp hair and his face set. 

Sticking out his hand, he gave it a firm shake. ‘Nice to meet you, Darius.’

Formal, Stef thought. 

Should this be one of those moments where she introduces them with a snippet of similar interests? 

Fuck.

No need, they started talking about Texas. Great, they already have something in common. They both live there. 

Stef pulled out the menu for a Thai restaurant she loved going to, holding it up to Darius, he gave her a nod before continuing his conversation with Jared.

***

Jared and Darius had been getting along well throughout dinner, it lifted her heart to see them chatting. Jared was a little closed off with him, she wondering what he was thinking. 

Darius’s phone rang. ‘My girlfriend, gonna take this,’ he mumbled, smiling as he answered, taking the stairs two at a time and disappearing into his old bedroom.

Jared leaned back in his chair, folding his arms across his chest. 

‘He’s a nice guy,’ he said simply. ‘He’s cool.’

Jared ran his fingers through his hair, still looking at her. ‘He’s you all over, you know that right?’

‘How do you mean?’

‘Well, he’s got your mannerisms, he even says things the same way you do.’

Stef frowned over at him, making him laugh, leaning over to her. ‘He’s even got that dimple you got on your chin.’ His gaze fell to her chin, his thumb now running across the spot she knew it would appear if she smiled.

‘I always thought he was like his father.’ Stef whispered, afraid to speak too loud in case anyone but them would hear. 

Jared just nodded, his eyes soft as he bit his lip. Darius’s boots were loud on the hardwood floor upstairs as he paced. Jared looked at the ceiling and back at Stef, giving her a quick kiss before offering to clean up the dishes.

‘I understand if you don’t wanna stay tonight.’ Stef leaned against the kitchen island, watching Jared popping open a beer.

‘Nah, I’ll stay.’ 

‘Your words are telling me yes and your body language is telling me no.’

Jared took a deep breath, ‘I won’t lie, I didn’t think I’d meet him.’

Stef raised her eyebrows in surprise, ‘You didn’t?’

‘No,’ Jared looked at his feet, ‘I didn’t think I’d meet any of your family, I just…’ He was looking around the room as if the words would jump out and help him explain. 

‘Thought we were just having an affair that no one needed to know about?’

‘Kinda. That’s what we agreed, right?’

‘Yeah, it was what we agreed. And since then, you’ve introduced me to everyone you work with, your friends and…’

‘And what?’ Jared licked his lips, shifting his body toward her.

‘Your wife.’

‘You met Gen? When?’ 

‘At the convention, she didn’t say anything?’

‘No,’ his brows furrowed. ‘ No, she didn’t say anything.’ 

Jared was clearly upset, his reaction surprised her. 

Stef wasn’t sure what to say, maybe silence was the best thing right now. 

Jared gulped a couple of times, shaking his head. ‘Well, uh, I don’t really know what to say, I didn’t plan on that happening.’

‘It happened. I met your wife and you met my son and Oscar.’ 

Jared’s eyes were wide, as if he weren’t really taking any of the information in.

‘Do you need a reboot?’ She teased. 

He softened at her jibe. ‘Sorry,’ he whispered. 

‘This has progressed naturally and I never thought…’

Again he couldn’t find the words. 

Stef put a hand over her face, the familiar wriggling in her stomach was back. 

‘I never thought we would be here. I didn’t really think about the future, or, the real future,’ he emphasised. ‘All I could think about when I met you was how much I wanted you, and when I had you I thought that would be it. No more complications.’

‘Affairs are always complicated.’

‘Can we avoid the use of that word, please?’ 

Stef nodded, casting her eyes down to her feet. Just as Jared had. What kind of situation were they in now?

‘Hey, c’mere.’ Jared wrapped his arms around her, dropping his head to the crook of her neck. 

‘I still want this.’ His hands were roaming across her back, knowing that if he could feel her he would be ok.

Nodding into his shoulder, she squeezed him tighter, only pulling apart when they heard Darius coming back downstairs.

‘All good with your girlfriend?’

‘Yep, she’s cool. Dad’s been texting, I think something happened on set.’ Darius hadn’t looked up from his phone, sitting down on the armchair by the fire. 

Stef checked her phone, no messages. ‘What’s happened on set?’

Darius leaned back in his chair, ‘some stunt or something, says he hurt his foot.’

‘Oh shit.’ Stef laughed, sending a sympathy text to Oscar. 

Jared sighed heavily looking between them.

‘We good?’ Stef whispered. He nodded, pointing in the direction of the sofa. Stef let her fingers wrap around his and pulled him to her. Planting a kiss on his mouth. He stiffened, unsure of his feelings about being affectionate while Darius was in the same room. 

‘So you’re here til Monday?’ Stef poked Darius’s knee, he was engrossed in the movie on tv. ‘Yeah, leaving Monday afternoon.’

Stef had already put the new picture frame on the fireplace, right next to the beach pictures and the polaroid of her onstage in the nurses outfit that she had wrangled from Oscar’s back pocket.

‘Awwww, thanks for visiting baby.’ Stef swooned. Darius frowned over at her, his eyebrows furrowed. ‘Don’t thank me, dad gave me the money for the flight. I wouldn’t be here otherwise.’

‘He didn’t want to come with?’ She felt Jared shifting next to her at the question. 

‘Could if he would, he’s working, though he’s probably at laying up now with his injury.’

‘Hmm, he hasn’t text me back.’

Darius snorted, ‘he’s texting ME, it’s cool.’

Stef shrugged.

‘You get up here often to visit?’ Jared wrapped his fingers around Stef’s ankle while she shimmied her bare feet under his thigh. 

‘Not enough, school keeps me busy. But this weekend is kinda special so I knew I’d have to come up.’

‘Special?’ Jared looked between the pair of them.

‘Well, it’s my moms anniversary next weekend. Usually, we visit the grave.’

‘Sorry. How long is she gone?’

‘Ten years.’ Stef started unravelling her braid Jared was watching her, half mesmerised with the flames from the fire throwing shadows across her face, flickering dark and light.

‘Was she from Canada?’ Jared started stroking her foot absentmindedly.

‘Yeah, she grew up here. Moved down to NY state when I was a kid. When she got sick she wanted to come back up here to family, so myself and Darius moved with her.’

‘Oh man, sorry to hear that.’ 

Stef shrugged, ‘it happens. At least I got to spend time with her before she went. She helped with Darius when he was younger, you know? Teenage moms don’t always know what they’re doing.’

‘Parenting is hard at any age.’ Jared grinned knowingly.

‘You got kids?’ Darius interrupted

Jared cleared his throat,’ yeah, two boys.’

Darius nodded. Jared was grateful there weren’t any more questions. He really wasn’t sure how much Darius knew about him.

‘I got some pictures set up so I can print them into a photo album,’ Darius threw his phone over into his mothers lap. 

Stef bit her lip as she flicked through the pictures, making a sound that Jared had never heard her make before as she turned the phone to show him a photo of her holding Darius as a baby. It looked as if it was taken in the hospital.

‘Cute.’ Jared was taken aback and how young she looked. She really was a kid having him.

‘And my mom, giving Oscar the stink eye. Oh man, she was forever doing that.’

‘She didn’t like him?’ 

‘No, she loved him and loved giving him a hard time.’

‘Wait, that lady is your mom?’ Jared squeaked in surprise.

‘Uh, yeah. Why?’

‘I didn’t know you came from an Asian family.’

Stef smiled at him, ‘her family are from Vietnam. Darius is a wild and beautiful mix of Vietnamese and Guatemalan and English. My dad was English.’ 

‘Has he passed too?’ 

‘Yeah, he died before Darius was born. A long, long time ago.’

‘In a galaxy far, far away.’ Darius muttered getting up from his armchair. 

‘I gotta to sleep I’m so tired.’ 

He bent down and gave his mother a kiss on the cheek. 

The men nodded at each other and Darius climbed the stairs. 

‘I am so surprised. I mean, I knew you were exotic.’ Jared was grinning, crawling over her.

‘It would explain your beautiful cheekbones.’ He said, between kisses. 

Stef ran her tongue along his lips, teasing.

‘Oh don’t get me wound up again, your kid is upstairs.’

‘I have a rule for when he’s home, you know.’

‘What’s that?’ His mouth was on her skin, peppering kisses along her jaw. 

‘No sex when the kids are in the house.’

‘Damn, if that were a rule in my house then I’d never get any.’ Nibbling at her earlobe, she giggled at the feel of his tongue tickling inside her ear.

‘Hey, get off!’ 

‘Yes ma’am. Come to bed with me, I swear I’ll behave, there won’t be any funny business.’

Stef bunched his shirt into her fist and kissed him long and slow. Stopping when she felt her phone vibrate. 

‘You gonna check that?’

‘Nah, not when you’ve asked me to go to bed with you.’ Stef smiled into the kiss. 

Jared asleep not long after they got under the covers, whispering that he would leave early the next morning. Stef didn’t like it, but she agreed it was best. 

As much as she wanted him with her every spare moment he had, her family always came first. 

Stef watched his face relax as he drifted off to sleep, wondering what it would be like to have someone to share her bed all the time. 

For most of her adult life, she had wanted to be alone, no one could break through her walls, she had never let them. 

She felt lucky she had Jared. Parts of her had been thrown in to the air and left lie where they had fallen. He was changing that. He was changing her. She kissed his stubbled cheek and fell asleep.


	27. I Keep On Biting Til I Feel It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stef makes a call she didn't think she would make.

Spending the weekend with Darius had been fun. They spent a little time at her mom’s graveside, then drank a few vodka’s in her memory at a bar downtown. 

It was the first time in a few years that they had one on one time. Stef could feel herself relaxing out of ‘mother mode’. They were sitting outside of the airport when Darius brought up Jared, not for the first time that weekend.

‘You don’t like him?’ Stef asked, sadly.

‘I do like him. He’s cool and he seems really into you. But, I dunno mom, I’d hate to see you hurt again.’

Stef put her hands into her lap, looking at people rushing in and out of their cars, trying to avoid the snow fall.

‘I hate that you remember the first time.’

‘I barely remember it, but you were pissed at dad for years.’

Stef snorted, half in amusement, remembering. 

‘I really didn’t let him forget it, did I?’

‘No,’ Darius’s voice, deeper than his fathers, sounded unusually snippy. 

‘I agree with that to a certain point, but.’ he hesitated, watching his mothers face. ‘Did you ever ask dad what actually happened?’

Stef whipped her head around to look him in the eyes, ‘I was there, Darius, I saw. That was enough.’

Darius huffed and looked out the window.

‘If Tanya did that to you, would you forgive her? Stef rolled her eyes and continued ‘actually, I don’t wanna have this conversation. I don’t want to argue with you before you go back to school.’

‘I’d at least hear her out.’ Darius regarded his mother for a moment and shrugged, he had said his piece. 

‘Don’t give me that mom look,’ He drew the corners of his mouth up into that cheeky smile she loved so much.

‘Give your mom a hug and don’t give her a headache, please?’ 

Darius got out of the car and walked to her side, grabbing her into a bear hug. 

‘Thanks for coming to see me baby boy.’ 

‘Take care of yourself, mom.’ 

Darius looked back over his shoulder as he walked into Departures. ‘I’ll kick his ass if he hurts you!’

***

Stef sat in her car, deciding she would text Claire and see how she was doing. 

Stef: Hey how did the weekend go? Darius surprised me and came to visit, I just dropped him at the airport.

It took only a few minutes to get a reply.

Claire: that’s so sweet! did Oscar come too?

Stef: Nah, he hurt himself on set, it was just my boy.

Claire: Poor Oscar. I’ll be back on Friday, so we can hang or go for food or drinks. Whatevs.

Stef smiled at the phone, tears threatening. Claire always remembered the upcoming weekend was a bad one. Each passing year, Stef would get less sad about her mothers passing and somehow that did make her sad, but in a different way. Claire was a great friend, albeit an unpredictable whirlwind of craziness and love. 

Stef was grounded and quiet where Claire was a leaf tossed in the changing directions of a gale on an island in the Atlantic. 

They complimented each other perfectly.

Stef: Perfect. tell Rich hey from me. xx

Claire had gone down to meet Richards family. Stef didn’t recall that ever happening before. The thoughts of it ignited excitement for her friend. Finally.

‘Ok, time for some music to calm me down.’ Stef poked around at her playlist until the familiar sound of Devin Townsend’s ‘Kingdom’ came onto her speakers. Hitting the road back home she could only think about what Darius had said about hearing his girlfriend out if she tried to explain why she kissed someone else. Stef knew she never let Oscar explain, she was too angry, upset, humiliated. 

Shaking the thoughts from her mind as she pulled up outside the house, she swallowed her pride and called Oscar.

His voice was muffled when he answered.

‘Hello?’

‘Shit, can you hear me?’

‘My name is not shit.’

Stef rolled her eyes.

‘I know you’re rolling your eyes,’ his familiar chuckle warmed her insides a little.

‘Am not.’

‘I gotta tell you, I was so surprised when I saw you were calling me.’

‘Why?’

‘Coz you never call me.’

Stef scoffed, ‘I do!’

‘Nah, you don’t, tell me, when was the last time you called me.’

Stef closed the door behind her. Brendan was slinking down the stairs, watching her with his green eyes narrowed. 

‘It’s Oscar!’ Stef declared. The cat stopped at the end of the stairs and looked at her expectantly.

‘Who are you talking to?’

‘Brendan.’ Stef was rubbing the soft fur under his chin, cooing at him as if he were baby. 

Oscar was laughing again. ‘I miss that crazy cat.’

‘He has calmed down a lot now. Usually if he misbehaves, I tell him he will have to go see Aunt Claire for a weekend.’

‘I imagine a weekend at Claire’s would be a lot more fun than you think.’

Stef hmmed a response, not really listening to him while she took off her coat one-handed.

‘You ok, Stef?’

‘Yeah, all good. Why?’

‘Not to keep at it, but you called me and you never call me. Is something up?’

‘Nooooo,’ Stef felt a little caught out, ‘I just wanted to see how you were, your foot, I mean.’

‘Just my foot?’ Oscar was biting back a giggle. 

‘Well, you hurt it!’

‘The rest of me can go fuck itself.’

Stef stopped dead in the middle of the living room and threw her head back, closing her eyes. ‘I could use a massage.’

‘You are so strange, you know that?’

‘Am not!’

Oscar was in a good mood, despite being in pain.

‘So what’s up with the foot? Darius said you hurt it in a stunt or something?’

‘Yep, I was doing a really cool and impressive stunt, and whatever way I landed, I twisted my ankle little.’

‘Oh, that sounds awful. I can’t wait to see the stunt that took you out.’ Stef laughed.

‘Ha ha, Stef. You’re all heart.’

‘Do you think you’ll live?’

‘I might, if only to see your face one more time.’

‘Oh fuck, you’re not allowed to do any more period dramas.’ 

‘I have help here anyway, I’m good,’ he said, exerting himself loudly as he shifted off the bed.

‘Who’s there?’

‘No one....I got a crutch.’

‘Oh.’

‘You sound like a crazy ex-girlfriend.’

‘I am.’

There was silence between them for a moment before Stef remembered why she called.

‘Thank you for getting Darius to visit me. That was a nice surprise.’

‘You’re welcome. He wanted to do it since last January, but he didn’t tell me in time and there were no flights.’

‘He’s so sweet.’

‘Yeah, he gets that from me.’ Oscar said, without missing a beat.

Stef sighed loudly into the phone. ‘Ouch,’ Stef’s hip brushed against dining table, pulling her jeans down with her free hand she inspected the large finger sized bruises there.

‘Earth to Stef, what’s up?’

‘I have a bruise on my hip, hurts like a motherfucker.’

‘Where did you get that?’ Stef caught herself before she tumbled out the words ‘Jared’s hands were holding me still while he fucked me hard, the way I like it.’

‘Walking into this dining table too often.’

‘You should move it.’

‘Good idea, come up here and help me rearrange my house so I don’t keep running into things.’ 

‘I’ll sit on the sofa and point to things with my crutch. You can care for me while I recover.’

Stef bit her lip, trying to imagine the scene. ‘I don’t know if I’d be a caring enough nurse to get you back on your feet.’

‘I disagree, I’ve seen you care for your mom and you raised a child. But I agree, you may not take care of me the same way.’

‘You make me sound mean, I was trying to be funny.’ Stef wiggled her fingers under the tap, there was plenty of hot water there for a bath. That may be just what she needed. Bubbles and wine. Why not, she was alone and needed to think. 

‘Definitely not mean. You are anything but mean.’

‘I dunno, maybe I am a horrible person,’ she said softly, more-so to herself than Oscar.

‘What the hell? There’s definitely something up with you Stef. You’re calling me, walking into furniture and telling me you’re a bad person. Do I have to come up there and tell you all the reasons why you’re great, coz you’re not listening to me now.’

‘Gonna hobble up?’

Oscar laughed. ‘I hear water. You’re either running a bath or having an almighty piss.’

‘Oscar!’ she scolded, ‘a lady passes water, we don’t piss.’

‘No matter how many times i ask you not to pee while you’re on the phone to me, you still do it.’

‘I know you too long to be shy around you.’

‘As long as it stays at number 1 and doesn’t drift into the number 2 zone. I would rather stay where I am if that’s what is the future offer.’

‘What are you rambling about?’ Stef poured a generous amount of bubble bath into the running water, enjoying the sight of it frothing furiously. It was gold and glittery. The glitter didn’t stick but it gave her a golden sheen that looked a little like a tan, depending on the light. 

‘Ok thanks for telling me about your bubble bath.’

Stef gulped, did she actually say that out loud?

‘I would actually love a bubble bath right now, but if I got in, I couldn’t get back out. I need a nurse. Will you wash me, Stef?’

‘I would wash you and leave you sitting in the cold bath water until you wrinkle up like a raisin.’

‘Woah, I’m glad we stayed friends.’

Stef cleared her throat, ‘so I was talking to Darius when I dropped him at the airport.’

‘He get going ok?’

‘I haven’t heard, I assume he got the flight. Anyway, he was a bit annoyed, well, maybe annoyed is not a good word, maybe more disapproving of how you and I dealt with things.’ Oh this was going to be happening now, why did the words keep coming out of her mouth?

‘What things?’

‘You know what I’m talking about,’ Stef lowered her voice, hoping she wouldn’t have to hear this conversation.

‘He brings it up sometimes with me.’

‘I understand why he brought it up when he was a kid, hoping his parent’s would fall in love again and get back together, but why is he brining it all up now?’

‘Would it be something to do with him meeting your...boyfriend.’

‘So you heard. I didn’t know he was coming up, if I did I wouldn’t have invited Jared over.’

‘He high tailed it out of there, Darius said.’

‘Kinda.’

She couldn’t see Oscar shaking his head. 

‘You ok?’ 

‘I’m fine, just feel like my head is spinning around after this weekend. I don’t want to have any more arguments, maybe I shouldn’t have brought this up.’

‘What do you want to know?’

The question was on the tip of her tongue, but she didn’t want to ask, did she?

There was silence between them again, she hated this. 

‘Stef?’

‘Nothing, I don’t want to know anything.’

Oscar sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. ‘I don’t think he’s entirely comfortable with you having an affair with a married man, no, don’t interrupt,’ he started, hearing Stef grumble on her end of the line. ‘The only reason is he doesn’t want to see your name dragged through the mud, that’s all. He wants you to be happy. People are dicks, you know that. Neither of us want to see you hurt by the fall out.’

Fall out, yes, that’s what was coming. She could feel it.

‘People should mind their own business.’

‘You’d think! But they don’t. They want to tear us to shreds over shit they don’t understand. You love him?’

‘Yeah,’ there, she admitted it.

‘Then fuck everyone else and what they have to say. Just don’t get caught with him or tell anyone whats going on.’

‘That’s conflicting information, Oscar.’

‘Well, that’s how it’s gotta be when you love someone you know you shouldn’t love.’

‘Thanks.’

‘Does that help?’ Oscar was fidgeting, she could hear him.

‘Yep. Thanks.’

‘You don’t sound convinced.’

‘I’m stripping so I can get into the bath.’

‘Effie!!’ His voice, high pitched and exasperated tone made her laugh. 

‘I’m kidding. Not as if you haven’t seen it all anyway.’

‘Yes, but we are not on video call and that’s not fair.’

‘Stop! Anyway, what’s your plan for the day?’

‘Well, I got some nice photos I’m gonna look at while I’m incapacitated.’

‘Which photos?’ Stef dipped her hand into the hot water, perfect temperature, she would be red as a lobster in there.

‘Just some more old photos I found in the loft. Plenty of you and the band. Baby photos. Some of you on the beach.’

Stef gasped, ‘shiiiiiit, I forgot about those. Can you skip past them?’

‘You know, maybe I should, you were only about 17 in them.’

‘No, I was 18. It was my eighteenth birthday.’

‘Huh,’ Oscar decided, ‘well you’re legal in them, bonus.’

‘I’m ending this phone call,’ Stef laughed. ‘Please don’t sell those photos to the press.’

‘Your nudes would make me a rich man, Effie!’

‘Goodbye, Oscar!’

‘Goodbye, love.’ 

Dipping into the water, Stef felt the stress lifting a little. Silence drifted into the space around her, the whorls of scented steam shielding her from the world. 

Her fingers, as they always seemed to do these days, ran down her stomach, stopping when they reached between her legs.

That day at the beach had been sexy as fuck, although she had forgotten about it almost completely. 

Oscar had taken pictures of her, with her permission. They had been joking about in the dunes having left their son with his grandparents. After posing for a few shots, Stef decided to be daring and took off her bikini. There was no one around, why not?

It was only afterwards she realised how many photos Oscar had taken. They had looked back on the once after. It was hot. At least Oscar thought so. That was the only time she had ever allowed anyone to take her photo while she was naked. 

The thoughts of him looking at them now had her fingers dipping inside herself. Her orgasm coming faster than ever before. ‘Goddamn it, Oscar.’ Stef sank lower into the water.


	28. My Heart Is A Tomb

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stef makes a life changing decision

Stef was laying across the sofa looking into the flames in the fireplace when the heavy knocking jolted her back to reality.  
Brendan raised his head from the armchair, pupils narrowing at the intrusive sound.  
Stef, unwrapped a blanket from her legs and padded to the door, her heart skipping a few beats seeing Jared standing on her porch, hunched against the wind and driving rain.  
‘The hell are you doing out in this weather?’ Stef scolded, taking a fistful of his collar and dragging him into the house.  
‘I had to see you, you won’t answer your phone.’ The worry he felt was easing away seeing that she was in one piece, in her delightfully warm house.  
‘The power went out and I didn’t get enough of a charge on my phone. Sorry.’ Stef pulled her shawl closer around her, the storm was making her feel colder inside than it really was.  
‘Alright, that’s ok. I was worried is all.’ Jared started to unzip his heavy snow jacket, the water dripping to the floor at his feet.  
‘Take your boots off and sit by the fire.’  
‘Yes, mom.’ Jared looked at her sideways, not really sure if she was in the playful mood or not. Her frown said not. 

Stef busied herself for a minute straightening out his boots and jacket, leaning them against the hearth so they would dry quick.  
‘You ok, really?’ Jared put a large hand on her knee when she finally sat next to him on the sofa.  
Stef blew out a long breath, putting her hand over his, pulling his fingers back gently, inspecting them before letting them drop again.  
‘You seem bothered by something.’  
When Stef didn’t answer, Jared placed his fingers against her jaw, gently lifting her face so he could look at her.  
‘Is it me?’ He asked quietly, almost hating the words coming out.  
Stef had tears in her eyes. ‘It’s not you, Jared.’  
‘What’s wrong?’ 

She hated seeing that expression on his face.  
‘What you said a couple of weeks ago, when you were here?’  
Jared shifted a little. He nodded, waiting for her to continue.  
‘I’m so sorry, I should have said it back and it’s been eating at me ever since.’  
The tears were falling, Stef took a deep breath, ‘I’m sorry I couldn’t admit it even to myself for a long time. I’m a flawed person, Jared.’  
Jared was shaking his head, Stef could see the raindrops still clinging to his hair.  
‘I am! What the fuck am I doing with you?’  
Jared frowned, ‘what do you mean?’  
Stef brushed the tears from her cheek with the back of her hand.  
‘You know what I mean, Jared. I love you. What the fuck am I supposed to do?’  
Jared leaned in for a kiss, feeling for the first time the gravity of their situation. He wished he could push the thoughts to the back of his mind, but it was now that they had to talk about it. Breaking away from the kiss, he heard Stef sob softly.  
‘What are we gonna do then?’ Jared closed his eyes, resting his forehead against hers.  
Stef’s fingers were winding around his. ‘We can continue as we are, that’s one option. But I don’t think you or I will be satisfied with that for long.’  
She tried to raise a smile.

‘What are the other options?’ Jared whispered, grabbing a piece of her hair between his fingers, just touching, just holding.  
Stef sniffled, ‘you can only guess what our other options are, Jared.’  
She felt him nodding slightly. But he said nothing for a long moment. Pulling away she looked up at him. He was weeping too. The other two options were out, he didn’t even have to tell her ‘no’.  
‘I wish this was easier.’ Stef looked at the boots sitting by the fire, the laces half chewed by Jared’s dog.

‘You mean you want to break up? Right now?’ Jared’s voice was barely above a whisper. He was shaking his head, his eyes squeezed shut.  
Stef shuddered, ‘I don’t want to. But, we have to be realistic. At least, I’m trying to be.’ Pulling her hand free from Jared, she buried her face in her hands and cried. 

He was rubbing her back, whispering to her that it would be ok, they would be ok.  
This isn’t want either of them wanted, they were both thinking hard on a way to fix it.  
How could they be in love? When did this happen?  
Jared was kicking himself, he had agreed with Gen that this was just going to be a casual thing. Almost a year later and here they were, sitting side by side having spent every spare moment they had with each other.  
The whole fucking situation was bullshit.  
Stef ran her hands against her cheeks, ‘sorry I just sprung this on you, Jared.’  
‘How long have you felt this way?’  
‘I dunno it kinda crept up one. Well, the realisation did anyway. I probably knew I loved you from the start.’  
Jared nodded. ‘Yeah, me too.’  
‘Was me saying it a...bad thing?’ Jared tripped over the words.  
‘Not a bad thing.’ Stef, leaning back on the sofa took a few deep breaths. ‘It just put everything into perspective for me.’  
Jared clasped his hands in front of him and cleared his throat.  
‘I ruined it, didn’t I?’ 

Stef felt the tears again, she wished she could turn off the waterworks. ‘You didn’t ruin anything.’  
There was a moments pause before he turned and looked at her, ‘I don’t want to do this.’ Another tear rolled down his face, dripping onto the knee of his blue jeans.  
‘I wish...’ He began, then started wiping his own tears away as vigorously as Stef had with hers.  
‘I wish I had met you before Gen.’  
It hit Stef like a punch in the gut. She knew he would never leave his family and she knew she would never let him.  
‘You probably wouldn’t be who you are without her, you know? She seems perfect for you.’  
Jared nodded sadly. ‘I wish I could have you for always too.’

‘I should go,’ Jared wiped at his face again.  
‘You don’t have to rush off. I don’t...I don’t want you to go just yet.’ Stef pleaded, biting her lip.  
‘If I stay, I could change my mind.’  
‘I won’t allow you to do that. Not now, Jared. Can you imagine your life without your kids? Your home?’  
He shook his head.  
‘Believe me, it’s better that you go home to your wife and kids at the end of the day. Not to me.’  
‘You wouldn’t want me to come home to you?’ Jared’s eyes were wide, looking at her searchingly.  
‘Of course I would. You’re the first man that has picked up the pieces of me and shuffled them around into the right order. I’m happier now that I have been for a long, long, long fucking time.’  
Jared broke down, he sobbed and tried to cover his face. Stef wrapped her arms around him, holding him while he shivered, his crying stopped as quick as it had started.

‘Not be be cliche, but can we still be friends?’ Jared choked a small laugh.  
Stef nodded, still holding him, her head resting against his shoulder.  
‘I don’t want to have a life that doesn’t have you in it anymore. You’ve been so much to me, Stef.’  
‘You’ve been everything to me, Jared.’

***  
Two hours later, they were laying in Stef’s bed. The candles that she had found in the miscellaneous drawer were scattered about the room, giving a meagre amount of light but it was enough to hide the tear stained faces and red eyes. 

Jared had wound his fingers through her hair again, stroking the long, dark locks. Looking at them wondrously, as if it were the first time.  
They hadn’t said much, just exchanged looks and sometimes a soft kiss.  
‘You know,’ he started, his voice cracking, trying to keep the volume as low as the mood. ‘Maybe, when we’re old and my wife leaves me coz she finally realises I’m an idiot and she’s better off without me, I can look back on this as one of the better times of my life and fall in love all over again.’  
‘Are you saying you’d want me when I’m old and ugly?’ Stef was laying on her back, looking at the ceiling, watching the shadow of the trees swaying in the wind.  
‘Nothin’ about you is ugly, Stef.’  
Jared could just about see her pained expression.  
‘Nothin’,’ he repeated.  
‘Except, I took a man away from his family. Some people would call me a home wrecker.’  
‘I wouldn’t and neither would my wife.’  
Stef sighed. ‘Thanks for saying that, but c’mon.You have broken how many rules to be here with me now and even getting this far in our relationship. How many of my own rules have I broken.’  
It was a question she has asked herself every day since they met and the voice asking had gotten louder for the past while.  
‘Ever since the convention.’ Stef spoke her thoughts.  
‘Breaking rules since the convention?’ Jared had stopped stroking her hair, he leaned on one elbow, propping himself up so he could look at her.  
‘Nah, from the start, Jared. What I mean is,’ she felt his fingers tracing delicate lines against her stomach, it was distracting. ‘I had my heart broken and it was just him kissing someone else. And look at what we’ve done. My younger self would never have allowed it, it hurt too much. You know?’ Her eyes looked into his, searching for understanding.  
Jared swallowed hard, knowing she was right. ‘I have been with other women since getting married, but not like this. And probably never again.’  
‘You can’t say that. You can’t say you won’t pick up with someone else in a years time. Who knows what the fuck the future holds for us.’  
‘I can say with certainty, I won’t. This is it. I need to focus on my wife and my kids and stop being so damn selfish.’  
Stef nodded. They both needed to stop being selfish.  
‘Can you love two people at the same time?’ Stef whispered, feeling Jared shift closer. They kissed, his mouth a little hungrier. She didn’t want it to stop.  
‘I believe we can.’ Jared wrapped his long fingers around her throat, taking her lips again. 

***  
Stef sat on the stairs. Jared was dressed and ready to go. But, he hung by the doorway.  
‘This is weird.’ His voice low.  
‘Weirdest break up ever.’ Stef agreed.  
Jared had his eyes squeezed shut. ‘I don’t wanna do this.’ He said it last night. Stef agreed, nodding. ‘It’s wrong. But it’s wrong to keep it going, for both our sakes.’  
‘I know you’re right.’  
‘What are you gonna tell Gen?’  
‘Not the truth.’ Jared confessed.  
‘Lies will eat at you, Jared.’  
Jared was looking at her sitting on the stairs, the same way she had when he had first stayed the night. She looked beautiful, but he could see she was hurting, just as he was.  
‘She knows I love you but I can’t tell her how much. That would cause more of a problem, I can’t hurt her like that.’  
‘You know she thanked me. When we met.’  
‘Yeah, she told me. I was surprised she didn’t tell me right after it happened though. I asked her about it after our talk.’  
‘Oh,’ Stef didn’t know what to say now. Jared seemed ok with that.  
‘She also said you were pretty. And that she could see why I liked you.’

Who had constructed this alternate universe where they stood still right now? Where the world kept turning outside her door. Stef cursed that it would continue even now while they looked at each other, neither wanting to take the final step that would slice open the curtain and allow the real world light to spill through.  
But it was happening, Jared took the few steps towards her and leaned in close, his hair brushing against her face, her eyes closing, lips parted. Just the way he had seen her in his dreams before the first kiss and now before the last.  
Fingers wrapped into her hair, gripping the back of her head in his large hand, pulling her toward him. Their lips met in a searing kiss. His forehead pressed against hers while they panted, clinging to each other.  
Stef had her eyes closed when he left and closed the door softly behind him. Getting to her feet, she clicked the lock. She’d done it. And it was the worst she had ever felt.


	29. South of her Shoulder

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stef spends a week in NY with a trip down memory lane.

Valentines and beyond passed in a blur of wallowing in self pity and a great amount of singing in her ‘home studio’ (the mic set up in the upstairs hallway).

Stef had finished the lyrics and polished off the sound she wanted for almost all of the songs for the new album and she was pretty damn proud of herself. 

March came in and she was ready to get back out into the world, or at least back on a plane to New York. 

Nik and the guys had booked studio time so they were all set to get shit done. They had taken a couple of years break, each of them doing their own thing for a while and honestly, Stef missed them. But, she only realised how much when she walked into their old practice space. 

It’s not like she had abandoned them, but moving to a different country made it a little harder to record and write together as a band, even with the internet. 

Jimmy, the drummer, had done them a solid and completely repainted, put in new carpets and made sure all spiders had been sent on their way.

It felt like a new beginning. 

Jimmy was excitedly tapping on the snare while Stef set up her mic, a magazine article had once described him as ‘the cute one with the floppy hair,’ so that’s what he was referred to by the rest of the band, either cutesy or Flopsy. 

Flopsy was eager to get going. 

So Stef sang her heart out. She had a lot to get off her chest.

***

The day before Oscar’s birthday, Stef was searching through a second hand shop for a gift. There was a framed painting she knew he would love and she had run out of ideas of what to get the man who had everything.

Oscar was out of town but flying back home for his birthday weekend, Stef had planned on wrapping the gift and leaving it in the kitchen for him to find when he came back. 

She had been recording songs for the past four days and though she didn’t want a break, she needed to take one. So here she was, covered in dust, searching through the shelves for the painting. The Kurt Cobain lookalike store owner had waved his hand in this general direction when she asked if it had been sold from the window or if he had just moved it.

Her phone beeped, pulling it from her purse she glanced down at the notification, not sure if she should open it now or leave it til later to read it.

Oh hell, she told herself, just open it.

‘I see you’re recording again, can’t wait to hear it. I hope you’re good.’

No pictures, no gifs, no kisses. Stef took a deep breath, thumb hovering over the tiny letters. It was the first time she had heard from him since that morning he had left. A whole month. 

Fuck it.

‘We are. It’s sounding good, I know you’ll like it.’

She wanted to ask if he was ok but didn’t want to open a dialogue. Imagining a scenario where he would reply and say he missed her and she would weep and declare she missed him too and would go running into his arms. It was a bad idea and she truly didn’t want it to happen. 

Nik had always handled the social media for the band. He had been posting all sorts of shit on every platform for the last couple of days about them being in the studio.

Shoving the phone back into her purse, she searched harder for the painting, moving the canvasses aside noisily while Kurt watched her from behind his desk. 

***

Oscar got home right after Stef had gotten into bed in the spare room. Throwing back the blankets, she slipped out into the hall. He was yawning and rubbing his face as she peeked through the doorway.

‘Hi.’ She whispered.

‘Still up?’ He raised an eyebrow at her.

‘Only just. Almost fell asleep.’

‘Sorry, go back to bed.’ He smiled, she could see he was so tired he could barely stand.

With a slight shake of her head, Stef reached over and helped him out of his jacket, hanging it in the hallway next to her own. 

He ran a hand through his curls, dyed black again for the movie he was working on.

‘Do you want tea?’ Stef was still whispering.

Oscar nodded following her into the kitchen. ‘Hey what’s this?’ He pointed to the neatly wrapped, perfectly rectangular gift on the kitchen island. 

‘Oh, Happy Birthday!’ Stef chirped, checking the clock. It was 2am.

‘It’s not my birthday til I go asleep and wake up.’ Oscar eyed the present, wondering if he was allowed to open it.

‘Then ignore the present til you wake up! It’s only fair.’ Stef poured the boiling water over the dried chamomile flowers, smirking when she heard the rip of the paper behind her. He could never wait. 

‘Wow, Effie this is amazing. I love it. Thank you,’ 

‘You’re welcome,’ placing the steaming cup in front of him she gave him a kiss on his stubbled cheek. 

Oscar put the painting onto the counter top and pulled her into a tight hug. ‘You get the best gifts.’

‘I knew you’d like it. I had to fight some dust bunnies to get it. Worth it though.’

I think I’ll hang that in the bedroom, it’ll look cool there, right?’ He turned his tired eyes to her, she felt herself perk up a little, despite the aching tiredness she felt in her bones.

’Show me in the morning?’ Stef gave him another kiss on the cheek, making for the spare bedroom. 

‘You could help me hang it,’ Oscar replied, watching her walk away.

‘If that’s your attempt at a euphemism, it sucked, but I’ll put that down to you being so tired.’

‘Night Effie.’ He called, as she closed the door behind her.

Next morning she awoke to a tap, tap, tap.

It was 8am, he probably didn’t get much sleep. She made her way to the bathroom. A hot shower was first on the agenda, then maybe yoga. But, she had to be in the studio for a few hours later on, she figured she would take some quality time with the birthday boy afterwards.

‘Hey, check it out.’ Oscar called out. Stef was towel drying her hair when she stepped into the bright and very airy bedroom.

‘Fucking hell, Oscar. Close at least one window?’ Stef felt her nipples stiffen from the cold. Why oh why didn’t she bring the padded sports bra, this lacey number was sexy but not functional. 

If Oscar noticed, he didn’t let on. He was kneeling on his bed, arms out presenting the painting that now hung on the left side of the room. 

Stef tilted her head to the side, hmming loudly. 

‘You don’t like it?’

‘No, I think it looks good I just can’t think straight in this freezing cold room, what is wrong with you!’

‘Air conditioner is a bit broken, I’ll fix it.’ With hammer in hand, he manoeuvred himself off the bed, throwing his free arm around her shoulders. ‘Perfect,’ he grinned, looking at the painting and back to her. 

‘Put a bra on Stef!’ He furrowed his brow and shook his head. 

‘What?’ Stef stammered. ‘Wear some boxers!’ She countered, ‘I can see the outline of your junk in those sweats!’ 

‘It’s my birthday, I can wear what I want.’ He started fiddling with the air conditioning unit. She could hear him cursing before yelling that it was fixed while she put on her boots. Realising she hadn’t checked her phone all morning, she looked around for it.

There were a few messages. A couple from Darius and one from Clare sharing an update on what Brendan was doing while ‘mommy was away making some cash.’ Two were from Jared. 

‘I’ve liked everything you’ve done so far.’

‘Out of interest, are you keeping the bit we recorded?’

Stef sighed, that song had been way to personal for her to put onto the album she was recording with the band. 

‘I’m keeping it for a future release, it’s far too nice a song for this album we are doing now. I hope you don’t mind?’

Jared shot back a message straight away.

‘Naw I don’t mind. I look forward to hearing it whenever you’re ready for the world to hear it.’

Stef plugged her phone in to let it charge. Leaving Jared on read. She was sure he wouldn’t mind, it was easier than a conversation right now, she could always reply later.

Arriving at the studio a little early due to Oscar offering to drive her there, he took a few minutes to catch up with the guys. 

‘Want to hear one of the new songs?’ Flopsy was bouncing on his feet, always so excited.

‘Of course I do!’ Oscar spun on his feet, fixing Stef with a glare. She hadn’t let him hear anything yet. Scrunching up her face, she nodded at Flopsy. Letting people hear her music wasn’t the issue, it was when someone listened to it that she knew so well.

Oscar knew her inside out, would he know who the songs were written about? She watched his face while he listened, grinning from ear to ear when the song finished. ‘I think that is some of the best I’ve heard by you guys. So fucking good.’ He clapped Flopsy on the back and looked to Stef. ‘Your voice is…’

‘Haunting,’ Nik offered.

Oscar nodded, ‘haunting. You’re telling us something here, Effie. I can’t wait to hear the rest of it.’ 

For the rest of the session, Oscar sat on the studio sofa while Stef recorded her vocals. Sipping between takes on her favourite tea, Oscar would give her the thumbs up each time she nodded that she was happy. 

There was just the guitar to lay down before she could sign off and go home. 

‘You happy?’ Oscar looked over at Stef in the car on the way back to his house. 

‘Are YOU? You just spent your entire birthday in the studio.’

‘I’m so happy, it’s been years since we did that.’

‘It’s been years. I thought it was fun.’ Stef sank lower into the seat, wrapping her arms around herself. 

‘The songs are something else. Whatever your muse was, try hold on to it.’

Oscar slowed at a stop sign and grinned. ‘Fancy a trip down memory lane?’

Stef narrowed her eyes, ‘how far down memory lane are you talking?’

Nodding his head down a street to the left, he waggled his eyebrows.

There was no one else on the road, so he did an illegal turn. Fuck it.

He pulled up outside a tall building that was ready to fall down, the condemned sign hung on one chain on the gate. 

‘I’m not fucking surprised it’s condemned, it was falling down when we lived there.’ Stef shuddered looking up at the smashed windows.

It was the first place she and Oscar had lived in after they had Darius. 

‘Yeah, I’m glad we got outta there.’ Rolling up his window as he drove away. ‘Probably the worst place I’ve ever lived.’ 

Stef nodded in agreement, even though she had lived in some crummy places in her lifetime.

‘Where to next?’ 

‘Oh so you wanna go see some shit?’

‘Well, now you started this trip down memory lane, let’s continue!’

Oscar laughed, driving toward their old high school, slowing as he came up to the parking lot. The gate was chained and padlocked. 

‘Don’t even think about jumping that gate.’ Stef warned.

‘Not as young as I used to be.’ Oscar was shifting around looking at the building beyond, ‘if you move your head here, you can see the window of the music classroom. Here look,’ Oscar grabbed for Stef’s arm and pulled her toward him, she stood in front of him, pressed against the gate, nodding while she remembered meeting there for the first time over twenty years ago. 

‘You ever get pissed that we didn’t finish school?’ Oscars breath tickled the back of her neck. Giggling, she ducked away from him. ‘Nah. I have a good life. No regrets, right?’

Oscar didn’t answer. He was still looking around the grounds, reminiscing. 

‘How about you?’ 

‘Sometimes. But I got a good life. I’m not so sad about it.’ Shrugging, he dug his hands into his pockets and made his way back to the car, limping slightly.

‘Your foot still hurting?’ Stef asked, seeing him grin as he got into the car. He shook his head. ‘Nah, I just wanted your sympathy.’ He revved the engine at her as she scrambled to get back into the car. 

‘Don’t leave me out here, it’s scary.’

‘Still afraid of the dark?’

‘Too many scary movies watched that had schools in them, it can’t be helped.’

‘Fancy some food?’

‘Oscar, it’s nearly midnight.’ 

‘My birthday doesn’t end til I go asleep!’ He declared. Stef nodded eagerly, she hadn’t eaten anything but a sandwich at lunch, her stomach had been grumbling. 

***

Tucking her feet under a pillow on the sofa, a beer was passed under her nose. Her stomach was full of good food and she felt sleepy. 

She raised the bottle to his and clinked, toasting to his health and happiness and many more birthdays.

Oscar dropped down heavily next to her, throwing his arm across the back of the chair. 

‘I’m old and tired.’ 

‘Me too,’ Stef tried to hide a yawn.

‘Tell me Effie. Who ended it?’

‘Oh, uhm,’ Stef fiddled with the label on the bottle. ‘I did.’ 

Oscar nodded. ‘I thought you might.’

Stef closed her eyes, laying her head back against his arm. ‘I think everyone knew it had to end.’

‘Are you ok about it?’

Stef sighed loudly, ‘actually, yes. I’m happier now that it’s done.’

She didn’t need to see Oscar to know he was making a face of disbelief. 

‘I am. Long term, I wanted something he couldn’t offer.’

‘Oh-ho, Effie knows what she wants. There’s a surprise.’ He teased.

Stef poked her finger into his ribs, enjoying his reaction. Grabbing at her hand, he held onto it for a moment before letting it fall into her lap. 

‘I’m happy you’re happy.’ He said simply.

‘Thank you, Oscar.’

He nodded and sat quietly for a moment.

‘I got something for you,’ he announced.

‘What? You got me something? But, it’s your birthday.’

He was pulling out his phone, scrolling and fiddling with the volume. 

‘It’s because it’s my birthday that the guys put this together for me. Ready?’

Stef shrugged, smiling at him, wondering what he was up to.

The familiar guitar chords started up, it was a song they had recorded earlier in the week, it was still a little raw, hearing it. Her vocals started in but it wasn’t until the second verse she heard it, the unmistakable sound of Oscar singing behind her own voice. ‘When did you do that?’

‘I was sent the early version and recorded it before you came down to the studio.’

‘You cheeky bastard.’ Stef laughed. ‘I love it, Oscar. Are we using it?’ She was wide eyed, excited. They had never done a duet. The thought had never even occurred to her.

‘If you want. The guys are cool with it.’

She was nodding again, listening to the song. It was perfect. 

‘So it’s ok? You’re happy with it?’ His brown eyes were eagerly searching for the yes he hoped for.

‘Hell yes it’s ok, I’m more than happy Oscar. Well done you for sneaking that by me.’ 

Stef paused, she had leaned in to kiss his cheek. He was looking at her mouth in that way he did, his head tilted to the side.

‘Unless, you wrote it about someone and you don’t want to share the song?’ His soft voice was tender in the absence of music as the song finished, the short space between them closing. 

‘I didn’t write it about him,’ Stef swallowed, shutting her eyes. 

His lips found the side of her mouth, placing a gentle kiss. Stef didn’t pull away, he could see her mouth was open, her eyebrows raised like she was waiting for the kiss.

The kiss that would begin a long night of laying awake alone and heartbroken or the kiss that would bring her back to him, finally. Heart fluttering he leaned in again. It had been so long since she kissed him like this, lips fitting together as they had done so many times before, yet this kiss was new. 

Stef put the beer down on the coffee table, rattling the glass top. ’Sorry,’ she stopped the giggle as it came to the surface. 

Her cheeks were flushed. She was bundled up in her thick hoodie, oversized and too damn heavy for the heat in the room.

Both of them looked at anything but each other, both wanting to break the silence but too sure they would say something stupid.

Stef felt like a teenager again, with Oscar sitting next to her making out and being caught by a sibling who always dashed out to find a parent or yelled about it to everyone in the house.

Oscar wiped his brow with the back of his hand. ‘Fuck, that was…’

‘Nice.’ Stef finished, blushing at him.

’It was nice,’ he agreed, ‘and I wanna do it again.’

‘Ok,’ Stef leaned in to him, his hands running along her neck, cupping her face. 

They smiled into the kisses, tongues brushing, breathing ragged.

Stef had bunched his shirt into her fingers, holding onto him. Eventually the grip got so tight he had to pull away from the kiss to ease her fingers away. ‘Hey, I’m not going anywhere, you can let go.’

It had been a while since he was this close her. He could see the smattering of freckles over her nose and the scar on her forehead from when she ran straight into a fence when she hurtled down a hill when she was 15.

‘Sorry,’ she murmured. ‘I just want to…touch you,’ she admitted, biting her lip.

He nodded, taking her mouth again, his thumbs on either side of her face. 

Her lips were stinging when they came up for air. ‘Your stubble is killing me.’ Stef laughed, touching the tender skin around her mouth with her fingertips.

‘I’ll shave tomorrow,’ Oscar offered before seeing Stef vigorously shaking her head. 

‘What?’ He was grinning now, his eyes lighting up. 

‘Don’t shave, I like the scruff.’ She ran a hand across his cheek. ‘I love the scruff.’

‘Hey, I think we should talk about this.’ Oscar took her hand, kissing her palm and letting it rest against his leg.

‘Oh.’ Stef shifted, ‘you don’t want to…’

‘No, I do. Sorry, I wasn’t even sure if you felt the same as I did about this. I’m not…reading this wrong?’

‘No, Oscar. You’re not making me kiss you. I want to. I’ve wanted you for such a long time.’ 

The confession was enough, he wanted to grab her and kiss her and yell out of the windows that she finally felt the same.

‘Well, thank fuck for that. But…’

‘But?’ Stef deflated a little.

‘But I think, we should slow it down a little. I don’t want to jump in where we left off.’

Stef was nodding, her gaze never leaving his. ‘And I don’t mean from that night after Darius’s party, I mean if we do this, I want to take you out first.’

‘You want to date me!?’ Stef grabbed the beer, throwing back half the bottle on realising how thirsty she was after the make out session.

‘Yeah, I do. I think we should get to know each other as we are now. As adults, not as kids struggling to hold everything together.’

‘Ok,’ Stef wanted to pinch herself, surely she was dreaming. ‘So the Oscar sitting next to me right now, wants to bring me on a date? And after the date?’

‘Maybe another one?’ 

‘Maybe?’ She was trying to tease some assurances from him. 

‘Definitely another, then another.’ 

‘Sounds…quaint.’ 

Oscar rolled his eyes, smiling. Their hands were entwined, neither remembered that happening, but it was all happening.

‘How long have you wanted to date me?’ Stef’s tiredness had ebbed away, she felt like she was flooded with electricity, jolts were keeping her upright and twitchy. 

‘A long time, but honestly, every time I wanted to speak up I knew it wasn’t the right time. You never wanted to entertain any man that wanted into your life. I’d be intensely in love with you every we saw each other and I’d have to…’

‘Pull back and not talk to me for a while?’

‘Yeah…’ Oscar winced. 

‘I thought it was coz I was turning you off.’

’No, the opposite. It’d break my heart every time you acted so normal around me. We were friends and that’s the way it was staying. It seemed.’

Stef felt a stab of guilt. ‘I’ve always wanted you. I was just too proud to let you back in.’ 

‘God, did I waste too much time we could have been together?’ Tears were threatening. Not again, she scolded herself. 

’No time like the present!’ He threw his hands into the air. ‘Forget about it all, Effie. Let me take you out.’

Gathering herself, Stef thought to fix her hair. She hadn’t checked a mirror in a long time. What if she looked like the wreck of the Hesperus??

Seeing Oscar’s hopeful eyes looking back her, it seemed he didn’t care a jot. 

‘Yes, please take me on a date.’ She gushed.

***

Stef was under the blankets in the spare room, tossing every few minutes. It would be reckless to go seek comfort in Oscar’s bed. They had agreed to take things slow, go on a few dates, get to know each other and see where it went.

Fuck it, she thought. It’s not as if they had just met. If he didn’t want her in there with him, he would send her away.

She tip toed down the hall, the icy air hit her legs when she opened his door. The soft knock had woken him, she stood shifting from one foot to the other before he lifted his arm and the blankets with it, inviting her in next to him.

Slipping in next to him, he threw his arm over her and sighed contentedly. She bit her lip to conceal a smile she couldn’t seem to get rid of.


	30. Heaving Nights Between Friendship and Flame

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Story finale.

Curse the things that made me sad for so long

Stef tipped the wine glass and let the cool liquid rest against her tongue. This was going a lot better than she expected. Oscar had arrived fashionably late, breezing into the restaurant and sitting himself down across from their guests. ‘Sorry I’m late,’ he winked at Stef, seeing she had ordered a drink for him.  
‘Good to see you again, Richard.’  
‘Oh please, call me Dick.’ Richard waved a hand, dismissing the formality.   
‘And Claire, you look great.’   
Claire was always expecting a compliment, even though she seemed to brush it off, Stef could see she was loving the attention. 

Oscar turned his dark eyes on Stef, resting a hand on the back of her chair he looked as if he was waiting for her to make an announcement.  
‘You look good too?’ Stef offered, confused at the look he was giving her.   
He chuckled, nose crinkling. There was a silent conversation happening between them. No, Stef hadn’t told Claire that they had decided to start dating again.   
Oscar eyed Stef’s drink, filling it up before she could decline a top up.

‘Amazing how our schedules all allowed us to be in the same place at the same time!’ Stef was nervous, her palms were starting to sweat a little. Why did she decide on the black satin dress when there was a perfectly nice dress in a sensible material in her closet. The satin dress showed off her curves and pushed up her cleavage, which always needed a bit of help. As her mother used to say ‘it fits you where it hits you.’  
And she was trying to impress Oscar, Stef had rolled her eyes a couple of times at the thought. Wasn’t it the same whenever you began dating someone? Not like he didn’t know every inch of her by heart. 

Stef cleared her throat, squirming as she felt Oscar’s fingers graze her shoulder.   
‘So, Richard has agreed to direct the video!’ She was excited about the idea. The band had a few hour long sessions via skype recently with all the new ideas they had.  
Stef threw Richard’s name out there, knowing he had never directed a music video before but it would be crazy fun.  
Claire handed a creased and over used notepad back to Stef, ‘And I’m doing the costumes.’  
‘Wonderful, it’s all working out!’ Oscar smiled at them. Everyone seemed happy and he couldn’t even say it was the alcohol. 

‘I can’t believe you are going to spend that much time sewing diamonds onto a jumpsuit,’ Oscar had declined dessert, deciding instead on leaning back in his chair to sip an espresso martini.  
‘Not diamonds, I love Stef but if I get any diamonds, I am keeping them.’ Claire giggled, pushing her ample cleavage together, looking to Richard, whose gaze was exactly were Oscar’s was.   
That woman knew how to dress for attention. Stef bit her lip to stop herself from smiling.   
Hint hint Richard, Stef thought.  
‘So crystals, whatever.’ Oscar was looking at the drawing Claire had done for Stef’s outfit. ‘That’ll take a lot of time.’  
‘I’ll have time. Actually,’ Claire leaned forward, her cheeks flushed on her perfectly glowing skin. ‘I’ll have a studio.’  
‘Where?’ Stef piped up, knowing how small Claire’s house was.  
Claire pressed her lips together, looking like she wan’t to explode and implode at the same time. She looked to Richard to get the go ahead.  
‘I’m moving to L.A. to live with Rich.’ She gushed, grabbing his hand. Richard smiled, fully aware that he had hit the jackpot with Claire. They both seemed so...happy. Stef hadn’t said anything, anything she thought of saying wouldn’t be enough. 

‘Seriously fucking happy for you guys,’ she said finally, raising her glass.   
She meant it too. Claire would have the man of her dreams, a good studio to finally build her business back up and good weather to go along with it. Stef was a little jealous of the last part.  
They clinked glasses and toasted to the good news.   
‘Excuse us while we go smoke,’ Oscar signalled for Richard to join him, leaving Claire and Stef with a wink.

‘Anything you wanna tell me?’ Claire wiggled her in her seat and placed her elbows on the table, leaning closer to get the gossip she craved.  
‘I am so fucking happy for you, Claire.’  
‘And?’ She teased.  
‘And it won’t be long until you have that diamond you want.’   
‘No, that’s not what I’m talking about.’ Claire grabbed Stef’s wrist as she was about to drain the last of her wine.  
‘Oscar....’ She whispered, as if Oscar would hear and come rushing back in.  
‘He’s here for the weekend.’ Stef replied without changing her expression. How long could she keep it up? Not long, apparently.  
In a rush of words that almost formed a sentence she blurted ‘ok we decided to start seeing each other again coz we love each other,’ and saw Claire lean back, her hands covering her mouth, eyes wide with shock.  
‘I knew it!’ Claire said with such confidence it made Stef giggle.  
‘I knew you guys were seeing each other.’ She took a few sharp intakes of breath and swallowed a large mouthful of wine.   
‘But it’s not fucking surprising!! Oh my fucking god. How come you didn’t tell me straight away? When did this happen?’  
Claire had changed mood several times while bombarding her friend with questions. Surprised, happy, smug and finally, indignant.  
‘Ok, you done with the questions?’ Stef looked over her shoulder, seeing the men outside chatting.  
‘His birthday weekend, when I was in New York. We decided to be adults about it, admitted our feelings and figured we would see how it goes.’  
‘And hows it been going?’ Claire was back to wiggling in her seat, eager for information.  
‘This is the first time I have seen him in the flesh since then, so I suppose I will let you know when he leaves.’  
‘Long distance, oh I feel your pain girl.’  
‘Not anymore,’ Stef grinned, ‘you’re moving to L.A.’  
They both squealed in delight. 

‘Does everyone know? Does Darius know?’  
‘No! And don’t tell anyone, please Claire. Even Darius, I don’t want to get him excited for it to not work out.’  
’He would be excited, Stef. He’s always wanted you two to get back together.’  
Stef nodded in agreement.   
’Are you happy?’ Claire asked, taking Stef by surprise.  
‘I am. If I can keep my crazy mind at rest, it’ll work and I won’t drive him around the bend.’   
The wine was gone, Stef knew it was best to bow out now and have an evening she would actually remember tomorrow.   
‘You’re not crazy, you know. It’s huge, what you’re doing. You have overcome so much in the last year. Clap yourself on the back and go be happy.’ Claire was pulling out her card, paying for the meal even though Stef had argued with her about it.

Richard and Claire left hand in hand, Claire throwing a wink at them over her shoulder.  
‘You told her.’ Oscar turned, raising an eyebrow.  
‘She figured it out, which wasn’t difficult.’ Stef slipped her hand into his as they walked.   
‘How are you gonna be when she moves to be with her beloved?’ Oscar led her down a side street, a short cut to her house.   
‘I dunno. Supposing now is not the time to worry about it, I’ll just enjoy my weekend and freak out next Friday?’ Stef shrugged.  
Oscar let go of her hand and wrapped his arm around her waist, spinning her until her back hit the brick wall. The street lamp overhead fizzled and went out, coming back on again, flickering intermittently.  
‘What are you doing?’   
Oscar’s mouth was on hers in a flash. Her hands were wandering up the front of his jacket, seeking out the warmth of his hard lined chest.   
‘Is there anything you don’t want me to do?’ Came his answer.  
Stef opened her mouth to groan, but nothing came out. So surprised was she at being manhandled.  
He was kissing her neck, his tongue meeting the skin before sucking softly. His head was between her breasts when she took her first intake of breath.  
‘Right here?’ Stef gasped.

Oscar looked up at her and smiled, pecking her on the lips. Taking her chin in his hand, he pushed lis leg between hers, forcing it upwards until she was resting against him.  
Stef closed her eyes, feeling the urge to rub against his thigh. It was exactly what he wanted.   
Fucker, she thought.   
‘Fuck me,’ was what she said.  
‘Right here wasn’t good enough a moment ago,’ he kissed her again, his tongue sliding against hers, hungry for it.   
When they agreed to start anew, she didn’t realise everything would be different. It was ALL new. Though they had kissed and fucked and made love hundreds of times before, he felt new. 

‘Maybe I should hike up your dress and slip my fingers inside you.’ His hand ghosted over her leg, fingers grabbing at the material.   
Stef sighed, leaning her forehead on to his, she found herself smiling.   
‘Mmhmm,’ he licked his lips, watching her squirm against his thigh. ‘That’s what I thought.’   
Oscar’s hand was up and inside her panties in an instant, moving his leg to get access. Stef cried out with the loss of the pressure only to feel his fingers stroking her sensitive bud.   
‘Or maybe,’ he pulled his hand away and let her dress fall from his hand. ‘I’ll let you go down on me right here.’  
Stef looked at him with disbelief, she loved that dirty mouth.  
‘You’d love that wouldn’t you?’ Oscar kissed her lightly, watching her mouth slacken, her tongue running against her lower lip.   
‘That’s my dirty girl,’ Oscar sounded pleased with himself.   
Stef kissed him like she didn’t want to stop. And if someone’s laugh hadn’t echoed off the walls surrounding them, she may not have stopped. The thoughts of sliding to her knees and opening his pants were all that was on her mind.   
‘Still don’t care if anyone sees, huh?’   
‘Either I go down on you right here or you can at least get me off with those fingers.’   
Oscar drew back, his face neutral, the bulge in his pants betraying his arousal.   
‘Remember our first time?’   
‘Of course I remember, we had nowhere else to go. We had to fuck in an alley behind the music centre. It was hot.’   
Oscar again parted her legs with his own. Stef wrapped her arms around his shoulders, holding on while she ground against him. ‘Get yourself off. I wanna see your face.’ Oscar whispered, teeth grazing her earlobe. Resting her face in the crook of his neck, she felt it spreading out from the pit of her stomach, her fingers were tingling. She was gonna cum hard. Shivering, she clawed at his jacket.   
Oscar took her face in his hands and kissed her, smothering the cry he knew would come. Nails dug into his shoulders, her cunt aching from the emptiness white it throbbed lazily from her orgasm.

Oscar set her back down on her unsteady feet. ‘You gonna be ok to walk back?’ He asked softly, brushing his thumb against her jaw.  
Nodding, she cleared her throat. Stef felt a little embarrassed, in the flickering lamp light, he picked up on how flushed she was.  
‘You ok?’  
‘Yeah, that actually brings back some memories.’  
They were walking again, hand in hand.   
‘Sure did. At least we have a bed to go back to these days.’  
‘Why didn’t we do it when my mom was out, what were we thinking?’   
‘Your mom was never out and I shared a room with my brother. I know you like it dirty but I don’t think you’d want my brother watching you.’  
Stef crinkled her nose, ‘nah.’  
‘Hence, the dark alley. It wasn’t so bad though.’  
‘Let’s get back home so I can at least repay you.’   
Oscar pursed his lips, purring. ‘What you got in that filthy mind of yours.’  
***  
Brendan was rubbing his face on Oscar’s leg, leaving an unnecessary amount of hair behind. ‘Man, he loves you.’  
Stef slid onto the bed, watching her cat show Oscar more love than she had received from him in months.   
‘Do you let him sleep up here?’ Oscar stroked the soft hair under Brendan’s chin.  
‘Hell no, he’s not allowed in here.’  
The bed creaked when he stood up, ‘come on buddy out with you.’   
Brendan followed him like a hound follows his master. Stef could see the flash of his eyes as Oscar closed the door.   
‘Need me to take the squeak out of your bed, Effie?’   
Stef bit her lip laying back on the bed, parting her legs for effect. Oscar eyed the scene in front of him, fiddling with his belt.   
‘I think, it’s about time you got naked.’ He began rolling up his sleeves like he was about to plough the fields.  
Stef watched him for a moment, the heat pulsing from her core.   
Fucking sexy.   
He trained his eyes on her, he said nothing but his face told her everything.   
Unzipping her dress with her back to him, she let the dress fall to the floor. Her bra came off next. Oscar stood stock still, just watching her slow strip tease.   
Kneeling back onto the bed, she crawled over toward him, her eyes meeting his. A silent conversation; pulling down her panties she dipped her fingers against her folds, wetter than she thought…and he had only just rolled up his sleeves!  
The sound of his zipper filled her mouth with saliva, like he was a gourmet meal she was about to devour.  
His cock sprang free, thick and veined it fell into her waiting hand. His eyes said what he wanted.  
She dropped both hands to rest on her legs and stuck out her tongue, licking the underside and guiding it into her mouth. His breathing changed, there was no other signs he was enjoying it. His face remained blank.   
Suddenly, his hand grabbed her shoulder. Stef let him fall from her mouth with a pop. ‘What?’  
‘What’s that?’ Oscar was pointing at a scar above her breast.   
Looking down, Stef sighed, it was better to come clean. ‘I like it rough. You know that. Sometimes, I like it to hurt.’  
‘Well,’ he said grabbing his cock in his hand, guiding it back toward her mouth. ‘Lucky for you, daddy’s picked up a few new tricks over the years.’  
While Stef sucked and moaned around his length, he undid his tie, wrapping the fabric around his fist. ‘Climb back onto the bed.’ He ordered, his voice still soft.   
Obeying, Stef lay back against the pillows.   
‘Do you trust me?’   
‘I don’t even have to ask what you’re going to do because I already know I want you to do it.’   
Stef gasped when he bit down onto the sensitive skin of her chest. ‘Leaving a mark of your own?’   
Leaning back on his heels, he admired her. ‘You’re more beautiful now than you ever were.’   
Blushing, she tried to hide her face. ‘Don’t,’ he warned. ‘I want to see your face tonight. It’s been too fucking long.’ 

Her hands were bound and her legs were wrapped around his waist. His fingers were deep inside her, rubbing against that spot he had found when they were younger. And he hit it over and over. Stef cried out.  
‘Forgot you were loud,’ Oscar said proudly, leaning in to kiss her. ‘I love it.’  
Stef was shaking, pulling against his necktie that kept her hands in place.   
When she had gathered herself enough to open her eyes, she saw Oscar breathing heavily, smiling down at her.  
‘I want you inside me.’ She didn’t care if she didn’t orgasm again. He had given her so much tonight already. Just feeling him was going to be enough.  
Oscar lined himself up, pushing in slow, watching her face. Stef went crazy for this and she didn’t know why; he was fully clothed. There were few things sexier than her man taking her before he got naked. She was laid out bare before him, exposed and vulnerable.   
‘Fuck yes.’ Stef writhed beneath him.   
‘You got new tricks?’ She cursed aloud while he started a good pace, his cock slipping out from her heat and plunging back in. ‘I can’t wait to see what they are, coz this is hot as fuck.’   
Each thrust would grind him closer to her, going deeper than any man had been.  
‘I want your cum, baby.’ Why was she talking so much? Never before did she feel so mouthy.   
‘Oh you want it?’ Oscar flashed her a smile, placing a hand on her throat and squeezing gently. Stef nodded before her eyes rolled back.   
Oscar felt her tighten around him, her body rigid. Her mouth was open in a silent cry. The sight of her pushed him over the edge. Collapsing down next to her, he whispered sweet nothings into her skin.   
‘I don’t think I’ve come that hard in years,’ he breathed.   
Stef hummed sleepily.  
‘Oh no, don’t do that.’ He untied her, rubbing the chafed skin on her wrists. ‘No sleep yet.’  
Stef tutted, rolling on to her side to look at him.’You wanna stay up all night and talk?’   
‘That would be nice. We should probably have a few serious talks before I go back home.’  
‘No, don’t talk about going home, not yet, you only just got here.’ She whined, grabbing his arm and throwing it over her waist, snuggling into his side.  
Oscar stroked the hair back from her forehead. ‘You want me to move up here and be close to you?’  
Stef looked at him, reading his expression, he was for real. ‘But, New York is home. For both of us. When Claire leaves, I got no one up here.’ She hadn’t wanted to think about it just yet, but maybe the freak out she promised herself could come now while she had Oscar to talk her down.   
‘You wanna move back home then?’  
‘Oh fuck, what about Brendan, I can’t bring him with me?! I can’t abandon him!’  
A soft meow came from the hallway, the fucker always knew when she was talking about him.  
‘We will sort something out, don’t worry. He can live with us. I’ll let you sleep for now.’ Oscar kissed her brow, her nose and her mouth, finding her lips curled into a smile.  
‘Can’t wait,’ she whispered.   
She was asleep by the the time Oscar stripped and got into the bed next to her.   
‘I love you, Stefanie James.’   
Stef nuzzled against him, sighing in her slumber.


	31. Light Hits Your Face

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the break up, Stef and Jared agree to meet up one last time before Valentine's Day.

They both grabbed at the door handle at the same time, his large hand pushing hers away, glancing at him, she saw heat rise in his cheeks, his lips were set in an apology. 

The door opened and she stepped inside, the window was open, of course it was, that man was the hottest she’d ever known. 

The curtain billowed at the intrusion.

As the door clicked shut he was pressing against her. His hands rested on her hips, long fingers digging into the flesh. Stef closed her eyes, moving her face away from him, offering her neck which he lavished with kisses. Hot open mouth kisses, like the first time. His hands were sliding across the silky material of her dress grabbing at her thighs. 

In one easy move she was pushed against the wall with her legs wrapped around his waist, he was grinding into her, breathing heavily. The press of his cock against her made her groan, there was nowhere in the world she would rather be than right here. 

‘I have,’ he started, taking a gulp of air before sucking along the skin of her jaw. ‘I have two requests, only.’

‘Oh?’ Stef breathed, running her fingers under his jacket, helping to inch it off his shoulders. His hands were busy, he didn’t seem to notice until she became persistent, tugging at the jacket until it got to his elbows. Wriggling free of it, he let it drop to the floor. 

His lips met hers, tongues licking at each other, desperately gasping for air when they broke away from each other, but they couldn’t get enough of it. They couldn’t get enough of each other. 

Finally, he stepped back, his hand resting against her neck, his thumb brushing against the dip between her collar bones. She was kept there, by this gentle hand. ‘Are we doing this?’ The timbre of his voice made her shiver. 

Looking at him through her eyelashes, mouth open with a need for his to be on her again.

‘I think we are.’ she answered, the hint of excitement in her voice.

He smiled, throwing his head back to get the hair out of his eyes.

‘Request one,’ he looked away from her mouth with great effort, pupils blown wide with lust, his hair falling back onto his face. She wanted to wind the locks around her fingers and push his head back, loving how his neck muscles bulged. But she stood and waited for him to finish.

’Take off your dress,’ it was a simple command, whispered while he raked his eyes from the heels strapped to her feet with black ribbon to the shoulder exposed to him. She had worn the heels before, the night he let Misha watch while he fucked her.

‘Help me.’ Stef turned her back to him, motioning for him to grab one side of the dress and pull it down. 

It was a deep red colour, off the shoulder, pinched in at the waist. 

Fuck, when he saw her in it he knew he had to get his hands on her. 

There was no zip to fiddle with, just a quick tug and it dropped to her hips. Turning again, she watched him bite down on his lower lip while she shimmied the dress down past her knees. 

Matching red lingerie, Jared whimpered, running his fingers along the hem of her panties.

‘And the second request?’ Stef bit her lip. He placed a hand on her stomach, spreading his fingers across the heated skin. ‘We’ll get there.’ 

Their lips met again and he was moving her, stepping backwards until falling together onto the bed. 

The brush of her hair against him tickled, she pulled back when she felt him smile. ‘What?’ Stef ran her fingers gently across his cheek, pressing her thumb to his chin. 

‘Your hair tickles.’ That accent hit a sweet spot inside her. ‘Your beard tickles.’

‘I don’t have beard right now.’ He teased. Covering her mouth with a kiss before she could respond. 

His hands grabbed onto the globes of her ass, squeezing the flesh while they made out. 

‘Your ass is my favourite,’ he smacked it so hard, Stef yelped. Straddling him, she cocked her eyebrow at him. ‘It’s gonna be like that?’ she slowly unbuttoned his shirt. 

Jared watched her hands work, his gaze softening when he looked into her face. Here was a side of her he hadn’t seen, it had always been him taking the lead. 

He sat up to throw the shirt off while she grappled with his belt. ‘What the fuck is this?’ Frustration growing when she couldn’t just flick it open.

‘It’s tied around, like this.’ 

Scoffing she let him pull it this way and that before finally she could get at his zipper. 

Laying his head back, he closed his eyes listening to her intake of breath while she pulled at his jeans. Once they were off, the rest of his clothes followed.

‘Why am I naked and you’re still in this?’ His hands were at the clasp of her bra, trying and failing at getting it undone.

Stef took his arms, laying them next to him. She shook her head. Her hands were running down her cleavage, teasingly, taking her time getting the red material between her legs. Dipping her hand inside while he watched, wide eyed.

‘How do you want me?’ Stef had her hand on his chest, keeping in him in place while she began rubbing against him. 

She wanted him so much. ‘I can’t wait to feel you inside me, I’ve missed it so much.’

Jared’s mouth was open, his tongue moving but no words were coming out. 

Stef started grinding harder against him, she could feel herself soaking through her panties. His cock was tapping against his stomach, urging her to touch it, taste it. 

‘I’ve missed you too, baby.’ His voice strangled with need. Silently pleading with her to take what she needed from him.

Smiling at his reaction when she unhooked her bra and threw it across the room. She placed her hands over his as he groped at her breasts, her skin was covered in goosebumps, she was hitting sensation overload already. Damn, all he had to do was look at her and she got hot for him.

His mouth was around her nipple, licking and sucking it at it reverently, as if she were holy communion. 

Once he had finished with one he began working at the other. A little love bite sucked into each, he grinned, happy with his work and began licking at her neck.

Stef pushed him back against the bed. ‘Let me take care of you first.’

Jared hummed as she began doing the same to him, he should tell her to stop. He shouldn’t go home with bruises sucked onto his skin, but her mouth felt too damn good. 

‘Fuck, Stef. I’m gonna blow just like this.’ 

She threw her hair back and sat up, her arms out straight, her hands pressing against his chest. 

‘You wanna take these off?’ She wiggled against him, giggling when his cock twitched in assent. 

‘Alright, go for it.’ 

Standing over him with one foot on each side of his hips, she guided his hands up her legs. Hooking his fingers in to her underwear, he whipped them down and tore them from her ankles as she raised each foot in turn.

His fingers were between her legs, ‘fuck, you’re soaked.’ His eyes met hers. Standing with her hands wound in her hair, she looked like a goddess. 

‘Can I make my second request?’

‘You ask for permission in bed now?’ Stef huffed. 

She nodded on seeing his pleading face. 

‘What is it?’ She slid down slow, the palm of his hand covering her dripping heat. He never took his eyes from hers as she touched his cock, wrapping her fingers around the silky skin, the tip nudged at her entrance while Jared sucked at the juices on his hand. 

‘Will you fuck me like I’m the only man in the world?’ The words made it out just as she sank down onto him with a sigh.

‘I always do.’

His hands were in her hair, holding her face close to his, and she fucked him like he asked. 

‘Like that,’ he whispered, ‘fuck me just like that, like you always do.’

Jared was breathing hard, talking gibberish with only a few words she could make out. 

Then, she was on her back and he was hovering above her, kissing her mouth in soft sweet kisses.

‘Hey, I thought you wanted me to…’ Jared cut her off, running his hands along her calves, guiding her legs around his waist. 

‘You did what I asked and you did so, so good.’ His head was dipping between her breasts to her stomach, his tongue trailing down to her hip bones. 

She felt his thumb press against her clitoris with all the pressure she needed to raise her ass off the bed to grind against it.

He was inside her again, slow thrusts to tease her over the edge. Shaking into her release with an explosion of white light behind her eyes, she was writhing, he wasn’t stopping, his thrusts were sharper, his expression set with a warning in his eyes. 

If she didn’t come again, he’d fuck her hard until she did. A strange feeling came suddenly, Stef cried out as another orgasm hit her. Jared pulled out just in time for her to gush onto him.

‘Oh my fucking god.’ 

Jared dipped inside again, harder and faster. He grabbed onto the headboard to lean into her and felt the veil of bliss lay over him.

Both were panting, eyes squeezed shut.

‘Holy fuck, baby, you squirted.’

Stef laughed, not sure if she was ready to open her eyes yet.

‘That was phenomenal. I have never done that before.’ 

They were kissing again. 

‘We made a mess,’ Jared spoke through his teeth, eyeing the damage. 

‘At least we don’t have to clean it up.’ Stef giggled. Pushing Jared over to the other side of the bed, moving out of the damp spot on the blanket.

They lay together in silence. Jared taking deep breaths while her head rose and fell on his chest. 

‘Excuse me a moment.’ 

‘Are you going?’ There was a hint of panic in his voice. 

‘Not yet,’ Stef kissed him before sliding off the bed and disappearing into the bathroom.

Jared sighed happily, the bliss was still on him, a sleepy smile on his face.

Stef appeared again. He nuzzled his face into her sweet smelling hair as she wrapped herself around him. 

Once the post sex softness faded, Stef knew she should go. The thoughts made her squeeze him tighter.

‘You ok?’ His voice sounded far away, he was slipping off into sleep, fighting to keep it at bay.

‘Yeah,’ Stef lowered her head to the middle of his chest, hearing his heart rate slow as he breathed steadily.

‘I’ll miss this.’   
***

Stef was back in the dress. Jared managed only his boxers and his jeans, preferring to watch her put the dress back on the way she had taken it off. Her nose wrinkled in concentration, biting her lip she she fixed her hair in the mirror. She never had to do much to look beautiful, he thought. 

He wished somehow he could see this every day. He knew it wouldn’t happen. 

Heartsick suddenly, he looked away, wanting to just put his shoes back on and go back to the guys, drink beer for the night and pretend to watch the fight and every now and then, catch a scent of her that lingered on his skin.

He was pulled from his thoughts when he realised she was standing in front him, her hand against his face. ‘I have to go.’ 

Jared wanted to say something, he had plenty he had thought of saying. ‘Thanks.’ ‘See you around.’ ‘I love you, please stay.’ He wouldn’t say any of them though. This was the last time they would see each other like this, that was the agreement. One last hurrah before they went their separate ways. 

Stef felt a little disappointed, he was just sitting here. His expression didn’t reveal how he felt. He was a good actor, that she knew. 

This hurt. Would it have been better if she didn’t agree to see him? 

No point in regretting now, it was done. 

He wasn’t meant to be here, he had told his wife it was over. It was her and no one else. 

Stef tucked her bag under her arm and opened the door. 

His hand grasped her shoulder, turning her to face him. Jared grabbed her into a crushing hug. 

She stumbled as he let her go, did he even realise how strong he was? This wasn’t the time for her to fall on her ass, she wanted keep her dignity right now. 

‘Uhm,’ he half laughed, half grimaced. 

‘You’re being awkward,’ Stef reached up to brush away the tear that sat on his cheek. 

‘Yeah, sorry. This is weird. I feel like I’ll see you next weekend.’ He was rubbing at his eyes with the heel of his hands. Smiling to hide the hurt. 

‘We will see each other again. Promise.’

‘Take care of yourself, Stefanie.’ 

Stef nodded, standing on her tip toes to kiss him. She could feel his eyes on her while she walked down the hall, wanting to get into the escalator without looking back.

As she went down several floors, she wrapped her arms around herself. Fuck, she wanted to cry. ‘Keep it together, Stef. Please, please keep it together.’ 

Finding a bathroom stall in the lobby restroom, she leaned against the door and sobbed. 

It was the right thing to do, for both of them. But, it hurt like hell. 

Crying in the toilets, she hadn’t done that in years. Not since she found out she was pregnant. She had held the pregnancy test in her shaky hand while her friend was asking for the result outside, keeping an eye out for any nosy bitches. 

The mirror showed her a dishevelled version of herself. Her hair needed resuscitation, her eyes puffy. 

‘You look like a train wreck.’ She scolded herself. Her phone was buzzing in her bag, hesitantly she took it out to see who it was.

Claire.

Clearing her throat before she answered, disguising any leftover distress.

‘Hey girl, you have perfect timing, as always.’

‘Oh, I didn’t think I’d get you. I was planning on leaving you a supportive voicemail.’ 

There was rustling in the background.

‘What are you doing?’ 

‘I’m wrapping my gift for Rich.’

‘A gift for what?’

‘Valentines Day!’ Claire was too happy, Stef wished she could wallow in her misery. ‘You ok?’

‘I’ll lie and say yes. But, am I a bitch if I’m kinda glad?’

‘Glad? Strange word to use.’

‘Ok definitely not glad, wrong word. Maybe…relieved. I’m breaking my own heart.’

Claire sighed, the rustling stopped.

‘I love you girl. Your heart has been broken for too damn long. You need a hot, single man.’

‘I don’t need a man.’

‘But you deserve a good guy who can devote himself solely to you.’

‘Ok, I probably do.’

Claire wasn’t one to ever bite her tongue, ‘Rich is on his way here right now, I gotta pick him up at the airport. You wanna come hang with us tomorrow?’

‘Third wheel, ouch. Is that what it’s come to?’

‘We could go to a bar and you could talk to some guys there.’

‘I’ll think about it.’ 

Stef absolutely did not want to stand in a bar and wait for half drunk men to chat her up, the thought made her skin crawl. 

She did need to shake off this last year though. ‘I have to go catch a flight soon too. I’ll call you tomorrow.’

‘Love you.’ Claire ended the call.

Heaving a sigh, Stef checked herself in the mirror before heading out into the lobby.

Jared was leaning against the column outside, waiting for his cab. 

Her feet forgot how to walk. But she stopped next to him, looking out at the empty street. The breeze was kicking up and she wished she brought a jacket. 

Without a word, she felt him throw his jacket over her shoulders. 

‘Going back to your hotel?’ 

‘Can’t get on the flight in this frock.’

Jared smiled, opening the door of the cab. ‘Well, share a cab with me. I don’t trust anyone around here.’

‘Thanks for looking out for me.’ 

Pulling up outside the hotel, Jared jumped out of the cab and ran to her side, opening the door. ‘You’re a gentleman. Oh, your jacket, I nearly stole it.’ 

Jared’s eyes downcast, he smiled a little, taking the jacket she offered. She was shivering already.

‘Enjoy the fight.’ She was walking away. 

‘See you around.’ 

Stef looked over her shoulder, he was still standing by the cab. She raised a hand in farewell, he just watched.


End file.
